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Introducing myself - tx.ares


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Hi everyone, 

I'll go by Ares.  I like others here wanted to make a change in my life.  I'm 34,  in a committed relationship, employed in tech, and I consider myself a happy person for the most part.  

I have had this nagging feeling in my life to BE someone.   To achieve and the need to be "good" at things is something I've felt since I was very young.   I was pretty socially awkward growing up even though I was told I was attractive and never had that much of problem getting a girlfriend / dates.   My problem was always around connecting and building relationships with new people.  I struggle to maintain and create new friendships and so I've always hovered close to my same circles as I grew up with or "fell" into. 

I still fear rejection very much and struggle to put myself out there especially if I risk looking like a fool / weak / etc.  I hate it because I feel as my emotional intelligence has suffered because of how I repress how I feel so much.  I feel as though I was given a lot in life through either my looks, or me being born an identical twin... I knew most people gave me respect / attention without me having "earned" it if that makes sense.  And so I sook activities I could be GOOD at while minimizing my social interactions with people...  Thus began my addiction to competitive video games.   Maybe if I put down video games for good,  I can actually start to become this "ultimate" version of myself I keep envisioning.  I realize that this sounds sort of unhealthy maybe even egotistical but I want to see how strong / witty / skilled / attractive I can actually be if I just put my all into myself instead of gaming.   We all have one shot at this life... why not try to make it the best?

Edited by tx.ares
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Welcome to the forum.

i will challenge your statement by saying gamers aren't egotistical enough. In fact, they are so unaware they cause liabilities for their families.

putting more energy into caring about needs in a better and wiser way helps in solving character issues and is a way out of conflicts.

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