FaceForward Posted March 27, 2022 Posted March 27, 2022 I'm 41, I've been gaming since I was 8 years old but as things got bad for me in childhood it became a go to for blocking out the world and pain, even though I knew I was missing out on my childhood and development, I'd learned to play less as time went on but would still binge from time to time if given the chance. I'm currently a stay at home dad with an ecommerce business that I am building and even gaming 2-3 hours per day when I can turns into the odd 8 hour gaming session and not working on my business which then makes me feel wretched. I'm more than ready to move on. I've tried to quit or control gaming many times but this time feels very different. I've also come to realise that a lot of my past trauma has been kept below the surface by gaming and getting as much dopamine as I can out of it. So far so good, I knew it would suck and it does but I don't think I will fail this time. I would be curious to hear from anyone who also noticed that after quitting gaming that they went through psychological changes, such as facing pain that had been ignored due to gaming and what advice they might give me for going through it. I'm also trying to work on the Jordan Peterson's Future Authoring program as well as the basic detox gaming program here, I really want to get past this point in my life but I'm honestly putting off working on these although I am thinking about them more and more so that is good. Anyway its really nice to be here and I hope that I can help and receive support from the community. 2
goodvibes Posted March 27, 2022 Posted March 27, 2022 5 hours ago, FaceForward said: I've tried to quit or control gaming many times but this time feels very different. Hi welcome to the forums I know what you mean about "this time feels very different" at least for me this is my source inspiration having come to a point in my own life where I've noticed that something needs to change and this is always what has brought me here. 5 hours ago, FaceForward said: I would be curious to hear from anyone who also noticed that after quitting gaming that they went through psychological changes, such as facing pain that had been ignored due to gaming and what advice they might give me for going through it. Don't know if you have yet or not but I say this is a great time to also find a professional counselor that feels helpful to you. For me I was fortunate to have previously gone to counseling for another reason before quitting games and those sessions encouraged me to get into 12 step programs I identified with which has helped me face childhood trauma and various addictions. Now days I think those programs are a bit flawed so I just kind of do my own thing but in situations where I think I need a stepping stone or a little more social support I find these communities very helpful and available. I rather love that GQ is here without much rules or obligatory program formats. I did go through some psychological changes still when I first committed to quit gaming they were mainly identity related. Though I did a good job getting rid of my games there was certainly times I could come across one I had missed or leftover system files leaving a shadow of a reminder and those times would challenge my identity like "hi, remember me? just who do you think you are?" then longtime local gamer friends judging and shaming the heck out of me leaving the same sentiment. Who am I, really, this is also a reflection of the issue I came across in self esteem building with my counselor as I often attached and equated externals to my identity, not seeing and acknowledging the core self for what it is. So my advice for anything relative to that is aim for the video game detox, start by getting things out of your life that can be a hindrance (especially the games/consoles/digital game accounts), and if you fail just stand up, brush yourself off, and be reminded of your motivation for this because failure is also something we learn from. Face, starting a journal here is quite helpful for support of our intentions. Thanks for the opportunity to hash all of that out a bit it did me some good!
FaceForward Posted March 29, 2022 Author Posted March 29, 2022 Hi Good vibes Thank you for the thoughts. I'm already journalling and I use a host of tools for self motivation but have found that since quiting gaming I've noticed that they don't seem to work as well. Even my meds for ADHD don't seem to work the same, but technically they should be helping with the dopamine drop. I'm thinking to only push myself to workout until whatever chemical imbalance straightens itself out. I'm hoping that in a few days I can get back to building up my business. 1
goodvibes Posted March 29, 2022 Posted March 29, 2022 3 hours ago, FaceForward said: I use a host of tools for self motivation but have found that since quiting gaming I've noticed that they don't seem to work as well. I saw there are quite a few posts around here about ADHD, perhaps something helpful with forum search tool. If you haven't gotten rid of the games and systems yet it is a really big help when they are not there to look at anymore, it's a change your environment to change your life situation. A counselor that once spoke to me about addiction said for a general rule of thumb: if you don't want to be addicted to something then get it out of the house that way you actually have to go somewhere else to even attempt to get a fix. With cigs she used to buy a pack to have one then throw the rest away. Do you have family in the house that still games? That would be a challenge to you also though is not impossible I'm sure we could think of some sound strategy.
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