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NesteaDrinker [Journal]


NesteaDrinker
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My introduction: 

 

14th Febraury:

Today I realized I should have spent more time on my art. I have been learning for 3 years now and feel like I should be already good at it. But I'm not.

I tried to do some math and during these 3 years I spent maybe 600 hours on art and this is probably exaggeration. It could be 300 or 400 but I haven't really tracked it. I have started many courses but haven't even finished the most important one for me: drawabox. I have started it in december 2018. Some complete this course in few months, some in 2 years and here I am at the finish line after 3 years but unable to end feeling like the slowest student in the world. It has been almost 5 years since I played League last time. I was good at it, made it to diamond and now here I am drawing feeling like a silver or even bronze. There is a game that is coming out soon and I feel some cravings towards it.

15th February:

I told myself if I do all of my chores and a drawing session then I can decide if I buy this game. So I did, unpacked some stuff in the new home and picked up a drawing that I was afraid to finish. Of course I messed the drawing up but that was expected to be honest. The linework was good but I thought I can use colour pencils without proper training beforehand and make a masterpiece. And I ruined it as expected, the drawing went to trash can but hey, at least I tried. I felt even proud of myself to take the courage to try. Still can't decide if I should buy the game (I don't feel like I want to write the name of it).

16th February:

Slept too much again (I'm isolated because I have corona virus so I don't have to work now). I'm having a headache but I was ready to make a decision. Instead of buying a game I decided to give respawn programm a try. Decided I won't be drawing today, instead I'm going to devour respawn content. On this day I did most of the modules and the worksheets, told my fiancee that I won't be gaming anymore and I need her support (she is a non-gamer fortunately). I wanted to make forum account but something went wrong so I wrote an email. Before sleep I made a vague to do list.

 

17th February:

Slept too much again (12 hours). Damn you vague planning! Got up, dressed up and went to kitchen to make a dinner (too late for breakfast). I got bored while eating and my autopilot wanted to surf the internet, then I remembered that I have written my go to activity when bored. Opened up the samsung notes and here we go - I should listen to a podcast. And I did! After dinner I closed up the podcast and decided to do hardest thing on my to do list - "Spend 2 hours in total making a drawing for the drawabox course". I'm on the last lesson and I need to make 8 drawings of vehicles using reference and techniques described in the lesson. I have already done 5 of them. Now it is time to draw a yamaha motor. I even started doing the sideview study but I knew that I have to start over, it was too sloppy. So here I am very anxious and stressed hitting start on a clock and making new attempt. And since you are reading this I want you to know that I survived and I drew for 2 hours! I haven't finished the sideview yet but it looks way better than previous attempt. After that I did another thing on my list - "Spend 1 hour in total on the love life drawing beginner series". Another success. Both of these task really empowered me. Ok, lets go, now easy tasks - unpack something and finish respawn. Of course both of these ended up successfully. The only thing left today is this forum account (thank you for helping me with registering!) and starting a journal. And as you can clearly see I made it today.

Also here are my goals in the near and distant future:
I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023     -        I did some math and the dream scenario would be to spend 17 hours a week practising drawing (884 hours a year). We will see if it is even possible.

Practice counter: 3 hours

Also below my quit tracker:

 

Screenshot_20220218-020413_Quitzilla.jpg

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18th February:

This time according to my plan I didn't oversleep and spent 9 hours in bed instead of 12. I ate something while listening to a spi podcast and then immadiately got to work. First task - 2 hours on drawabox course. I finished the side view of a motor which already is a big win for myself and it was less stressful this time. Next I was practising what I've learned earlier in love life drawing beginner course for 30 minutes and the next 30 minutes I wanted to spent on next video lesson. Oh man, I had to take a break 15 minutes after the video. The assigment for this one was to draw 100 simplified ribcages from different perspectives using 3d model and I got so overwhelmed by the amount of the work required that all I wanted was to turn it off and call it a day. Thankfully a break while listening to a music gave some positive effects and I was going to face the challenge and not only I finished successfully this hour but managed to squizze another hour for ribcages today (31 ribcages in total, yay!). So to sum up I was drawing today for 4 hours. Beside drawing I also decided to reconnect with 2 of my online friends. They were my gamer friends once but now we mostly speak about art (they are drawing too). We had really a great time, a lot of laugh and helping each other in our drawings and projects. That was a good day. 

There is also one thing I haven't mention and that is I also made an instagram account yesterday. I use it only as art journal. Log in, put fruits of my effort and log out. I don't allow myself to browse.

Reminder of my goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
NEW! I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 7 hours

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19th February:

For some reason coudln't fall asleep this night so naturally I woke up 3 hours later than planned. Somehow squizzed my 2 hour session of drawabox before my fiancee arrived with her things (she moved in today). During the practice I did half of the top view study of the motorcycle. Not only I had less anxiety before study than ever I also realized that the top study and the front will be easier because of symmetry. Looks like in few days I will be doing the proper perspective drawing. For the rest of the day I was helping my fiancee with her stuff and also put her new desk together. After that I did also 1 hour of love life drawing assigment (100 ribcages). I made it exactly to 50th ribcage and it also became less overwhelming so thats another success. Now it is time to go to sleep.

Reminder of my goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 10 hours

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20th February:

Another night with difficulties falling asleep. I wasn't asleep until 5 am I believe so naturally I got up late. Thankfully I had enough time to do the most of the things from my to-do list. Naturally my priority was to spend 3 hours on drawing. I finally finished the top view of the motorcycle and started making the front view study. In the last hour I focused on the ribcage assigment and made it to 70. Beside drawing I helped my fiancee clean the apartment and we also watched film together. Tommorow will be the first hard day because I have to get up earlier because it is finally time to go to work. Also want to squizze shopping with my fiancee and the drawing practice. I don't know how Im going to make it but im trying to be positive.

Reminder of my goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 13 hours

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Of course I couldn't have fallen asleep. This resulted in very short sleep. Got up 1 hour earlier than needed for work because this additional hour wouldn't make a difference in sleep quality and used this time to do my first hour of drawing. Then at the work I felt like I was drunk because of the lack of sleep. Somehow made it and after the work was the hardest part - shopping. I was so tired already and we had so much to buy today. When we came home I felt like a zombie but after a short break I decided to do my remaining 2 hours of drawing no matter what. Now I'm going to go to sleep hoping to sleep well this time, there is no reason today to not fall asleep.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 16 hours

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On 2/21/2022 at 6:06 PM, NesteaDrinker said:

Of course I couldn't have fallen asleep. This resulted in very short sleep. Got up 1 hour earlier than needed for work because this additional hour wouldn't make a difference in sleep quality and used this time to do my first hour of drawing. Then at the work I felt like I was drunk because of the lack of sleep. Somehow made it and after the work was the hardest part - shopping. I was so tired already and we had so much to buy today. When we came home I felt like a zombie but after a short break I decided to do my remaining 2 hours of drawing no matter what. Now I'm going to go to sleep hoping to sleep well this time, there is no reason today to not fall asleep.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 16 hours

Just be careful with these goals. They can be very intimidating and cause stress. Sometimes they'll feel like work. I tried this when I first started animation and it crushed me. I've got to a point now where I'm comfortable with my life and I do a hobby when I want because I want to do it. No end goals etc. 

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9 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Just be careful with these goals. They can be very intimidating and cause stress. Sometimes they'll feel like work. I tried this when I first started animation and it crushed me. I've got to a point now where I'm comfortable with my life and I do a hobby when I want because I want to do it. No end goals etc. 

The problem is that it is not only my hobby but I want to make it my career. This puts me in the weird position where I can choose the source of my stress. One cames from not doing enough and slow progress and the other from burnout which may happen in the future and not meeting my goals. For now I'm quite motivatied and I'm going to use that to my advantage for as long as I can. Imo I think the long term goals are pretty reasonable but the short time (drawabox and love life drawing) are way more miscalculated and thats why I prefer the "hours" goal. There is no pressure to finish something, just do your hours and you good. In my previous attempts to draw more I had result oriented goals and it crushed me (exactly like you described). This is my first time to have time oriented goal (counting hours) and I love it. An hour is an hour but assigment or drawing can take way more time than someone result oriented assume and this is soulcrashing. Add to this the times when you have to start over and you get that feeling of falling behind. With time oriented goal you don't have to worry how much it takes to finish something or if you have to start over a drawing and thats equal to less stress. Sorry for a rant, I'm very thankful for your support and concerns. It really matters a lot to me!

22th February:

Finally I had good quality sleep. The day wasn't easy because I was still a bit tired because of previous nights but I still consider this day a win. Today I finished the 100 ribcages assignment and I have started the final perspective drawing for a motorcycle. I have big hopes for it because my previous drawing I did like 3 months ago came pretty good and I don't want to look I got worse with my skill but even if it goes wrong I'm going to go ahead and mark it as complete instead of starting over. This assignment is all about pushing through mistakes and making solid forms and I'm sure it will be at least good enough.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 19 hours

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On 2/22/2022 at 5:11 PM, NesteaDrinker said:

The problem is that it is not only my hobby but I want to make it my career. This puts me in the weird position where I can choose the source of my stress. One cames from not doing enough and slow progress and the other from burnout which may happen in the future and not meeting my goals. For now I'm quite motivatied and I'm going to use that to my advantage for as long as I can. Imo I think the long term goals are pretty reasonable but the short time (drawabox and love life drawing) are way more miscalculated and thats why I prefer the "hours" goal. There is no pressure to finish something, just do your hours and you good. In my previous attempts to draw more I had result oriented goals and it crushed me (exactly like you described). This is my first time to have time oriented goal (counting hours) and I love it. An hour is an hour but assigment or drawing can take way more time than someone result oriented assume and this is soulcrashing. Add to this the times when you have to start over and you get that feeling of falling behind. With time oriented goal you don't have to worry how much it takes to finish something or if you have to start over a drawing and thats equal to less stress. Sorry for a rant, I'm very thankful for your support and concerns. It really matters a lot to me!

22th February:

Finally I had good quality sleep. The day wasn't easy because I was still a bit tired because of previous nights but I still consider this day a win. Today I finished the 100 ribcages assignment and I have started the final perspective drawing for a motorcycle. I have big hopes for it because my previous drawing I did like 3 months ago came pretty good and I don't want to look I got worse with my skill but even if it goes wrong I'm going to go ahead and mark it as complete instead of starting over. This assignment is all about pushing through mistakes and making solid forms and I'm sure it will be at least good enough.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 19 hours

That makes perfect sense. Nobody is the same. I've seen people overwhelm themselves over the years on here so I just wanted to share. Good luck

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23th February:

Nothing special happened today. The practice was done as always, I'm slowly building up the forms of the motorcycle. For love life drawing beginner series did some more super stickmans but this time adding simple ribcages and pelvises. Tommorow I'm going to practice them some more and then move on to another lesson.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 22 hours

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24th February:

The workload at work is getting bigger and bigger. Every day I'm going to be more exhausted with peak at may then the workload will slowly decline (I'm working at bike shop). After work I did some cleaning at home and we opened new coffe machine. Today I've spent 2 hours at practising drawing instead of 3 but thats ok. I'm going quite ok with the love life drawing beginner series but when it comes to drawabox I had to start over my perspective drawing because of some miscalculations that led to mistakes.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 25.02.2022
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 24 hours (yay! one day!)

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25th February:

Another productive day. Today it was harder to get up from bed because I still felt tired from yesterday's work. At least today I didn't have to do much at work so I got better during the day.  After work we had to do a lot of shopping with my faincee because we invited my father for tommorow. Because of this I did 2 hours of drawing instead of 3 today but that's ok - I'll take it. For some reason I had some cravings to play crusader kings but it wasn't that strong craving like it used to be years ago when I first started taking advice from game quitters so it went gone quicly. Also haven't made it with the love life drawing goal but I know I have put 100% effort so instead of blaming the player I blame the game. I've just failed to calculate reasonable deadline and that's why I'm giving myself another 2 weeks to finish the playlist and the assigmnents.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 (UPDATED DEADLINE!)
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 26 hours 

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26th February:

Today I didn't even have time to do a drawing session. Yesterday before sleep I helped my fiancee to do a pie for today's party so naturally I didn't get up earlier to draw before work. After work I was busy helping to prepare the rest of the food and then my father arrived. So looks like I had a rest day today from drawing. Gonna make sure to draw tommorow for at least 2 hours.

 

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 26 hours 

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Quick reports

27th February:

Did a 3 hours drawing session before our friends arrived. Love live drawing begginer series only because I was learning how to measure things and didn't want to distract myself with drawabox.

28th February:

One hour before work and two after. This time mostly drawabox. I'm building up forms on my perspective drawing - this time I must succed.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 32 hours 

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Posted (edited)

1st March:

Another busy day. I feel like I will finish the perspective drawing of the motorcycle soon. I was working on it for 2 hours today. Also slowly finishing the love life drawing beginner series. I was practising side and back poses for an hour.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 35 hours 

Edited by NesteaDrinker
wrong date
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Just noticed it's not February anymore, my bad.

2nd March:

I was craving to play some mobile game today but resisted. I don't have time for it anyway, I have to focus on my 800 hours goal. Today I scored 3 hours of practice, I feel like the perspective drawing of the motorcycle never ends. I was sure I was close but after todays session I realized I that still a lot of work is left. Thankfully most of the main forms are there and tommorow I will start pushing the wheels more and detail them.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 38 hours 

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3rd March:

Man, I was so busy that I'm writing this a day later. Usually I do my best to post before sleep. 

Quick summary of the day:

- managed to practice drawing for 2 hours (one for love life drawing and one for the perspective drawing of the motorcycle

- almost there to finish the motorcycle I can feel it

- after work we had a lot of shopping so I didn't have time to do draw for 3 hours but 2 hours is ok too

- on weekend our friends will come on saturday and parents of my fiance on sunday. Can't wait!

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022 (this is going to be another miscalculation for me)
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 40 hours 

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4th March:

Quick summary:

- another busy day

- 1 hour of the shape exercise from love life drawing beginner series before work

- after work obligatory meeting with residents (we were voting for different laws)

- spend some time with my fiancee

- 1 hour of drawing the motorcycle - basically finished the front with all the details, tommorow there is a chance to finish or be close

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022 (this is going to be another miscalculation for me)
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 42 hours 

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5th March and 6th March quick update:

Didn't have much time to write here or even draw. We had close friends on saturday and family on sunday for the first time in new home. It was a blast but we are also very tired with my fiancee. Next week we are going to take a break from inviting people and just rest.

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022 (this is going to be another miscalculation for me)
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 42 hours 

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7th March;

Qucik summary:

-another non-drawing day I didn't have time for it

-before work I went to the hairdresser

-after work we went shopping for the whole week - it consumed a lot of time

-before sleep decided spent some time with my fiancee

Goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (3 studies left) by 11.03.2022 (this is going to be another miscalculation for me)
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 11.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 42 hours 

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8th March:

Ah yes, the women's day and our 4th year anniversary. The day was awesome (except going to work, lol) - I bought flowers for my girl and also booked a table in the mexican themed restaurant with delicious food. After we managed to find time to test out our new boardgame- mansions of madness which is great. No drawing for today, 100% for my love.

9th March:

Finally found time to draw. Standard 1 hour before work (love life drawing) and 2 hours after (drawabox). I managed to finish the motorcycle and I'm very proud of it. I had some time left so I have started doing research and collecting references for the next drawing. Before sleep we finished the first scenario of the new boardgame. 

Also changing dates for my goals (again). I want to spend more time on the very last exercisess from love life drawing beginner series.

Goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (2 studies left) by 11.05.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 18.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 45 hours 

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10th March:

Quick summary:

-didn't have energy to wake up early to draw before work

-more sleep gave me more energy at work

-after work standard 2 hours of drawabox. I'm working on ferrari f1 now.

-after drawing session we were playing mansions of madness (boardgame) - I love this game

Goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (2 studies left) by 11.05.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 18.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 47 hours 

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11th March:

Quick Summary:

- woke up earlier to draw for an hour before work

- after work we were invited by my cousin and his wife

- we were playing catan (boardgame)

- came back late

12th March:

Quick summary:

- I felt very tired at work because of lack of sleep

- after work spent a bit of time with my fiancee

- went to sleep for 3 hours

- after sleep cleaned the apartment and drew for 3 hours 

Goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (2 studies left) by 11.05.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 18.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 51 hours 

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13th March:

Quick summary:

-woke up quite rested

-first half of the day well spent with my fiancee, mostly on mansions of madness (boardgame)

-at the end of the day classic 3 hour drawing session

-realized that I made some miscalculations and that's why my proportions are off but i'm not going to start over (ferrari f1 drawing)

-cleaned home before sleep

Goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (2 studies left) by 11.05.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 18.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 54 hours 

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14th March:

Quick Summary:

-awesome day

-woke up 2 hours earlier to draw

-after work drew for another hour

-had more time to spend with my fiancee in the evening

-we played mansions of madness (boardgame) - we love this game

Goals:

I will finish the drawabox course (2 studies left) by 11.05.2022
I will finish the love life drawing beginner series by 18.03.2022 
I will have 800 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2023 
I will have 3000 hours on my practice counter by 01.03.2027

Practice counter: 57 hours 

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Drawing, nice.  An potentially cheap hobby with opportunity for social connection, rest, and mentally engagement .. I may have to dabble in this soon myself!

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