Jump to content

NEW INTERVIEW: Porn is destroying a generation... one erection at a time! w/ Gabe Deem


  • Content Count

  • Joined

Everything posted by kortheo

  1. I would like to collaborate with other people, I'd just like to record 9 episodes first before I invite guests on my show. That will tell myself and other people that I'm taking it seriously. If someone wants me on their podcast before then I'd be happy to do it, it will be a couple of weeks before I'm available though. Hey Ed, this sounds awesome! I will definitely give Libsyn a look - I'm using soundcloud currently but didn't explore other options. I only have a handful of episodes under my belt so switching over wouldn't be a bit deal at this point. Your reasoning seems sensible on this. Perhaps we could collaborate on an episode if you're interested.
  2. Day 257 Today I'm back at work as I managed to sleep okay last night. It should be a relatively light day today - I just need to make sure everything is in place before I leave for a few days on my trip, and catch up on whatever items are left over from yesterday. My perspective is beginning to broaden on what is possible in my life. Many months ago I was trapped in a very narrow headspace where I felt like I was stuck in this job and that if I left or lost it nothing else would ever work out for me. It was more than I had ever made before and I felt like an imposter. It was a very bad place to be. Now I'm beginning to see other possibilities - I have skills that are in demand and I can get another job without too much difficulty if I put my mind to it. I could take time off and travel for months if I wanted to, if I planned my expenses properly. There's no reason to stay in a job or a location if I don't want to. Critically, I am not in a job or living in a location that was chosen consciously and intentionally by me based upon my values and priorities for myself and my life. I am living where I do because I grew up here. I am in the job that I'm in because it fell in my lap and it was a good career move at the time - but now that I know what it's like day to day, maybe it's not what I want for myself if I'm honest. It's not a job that I consciously chose, I was promoted into it without warning. In doing some research, I'm realizing that hey, different cities cater to different kinds of people - the chance that I'm in the best place for me by birth is unlikely. Likewise, it can take some time and experience to find a job or career that works for you. I'm experimenting with a notion I picked up from the Tim Ferriss Show of letting things break (I think it's called). Example - I'm accidentally going to be overbudget this year at work. Old Travis would have been super anxious about this and fretted and worried about being reprimanded. I have no idea what will happen, but while no one will be happy about it, it likely won't be that big of a deal. All I can do is minimize my spending for the remaining month of our fiscal year and wait and see what happens. It's out of my control at this point, so I'll just let it be. If I get 'in trouble' at work, I don't really care, because I know it's not a significant amount of money for the company and again, see above - I don't have to work here. And it's only one negative on my record amongst a bunch of positives. It's not going to affect my ability to get recommendations/references from coworkers going forward, etc. It's okay to let things go bad once in a while; not intentionally of course, but sometimes it's inevitable. Self-Recognition Not worrying about my budget.Pushing outside of my old, smaller thinking.Putting effort into my vision for myself.
  3. Day 256 Weird day today. I couldn't sleep at all last night and ended up calling in sick rather than driving to work half-awake only to drudge through a workday and crash when I got home. Ended up sleeping until noon. It's really easy to end up feeling guilty calling in sick, especially since I had a commitment at work today today. But I realized two things - first, the sick hours are mine, I've earned them, and I am free to do with them as I please. Being too tired to function properly is a valid reason to stay home. I have no reason to feel guilty. If my organization wanted better coverage for my absence they would hire more than one of me. Second, if I restricted myself to only taking days off when something wouldn't be impacted, then I would very rarely be able to take a day off. In any case, this has some advantages - I need some time to prep for my trip this week and get chores around the house done. Thursday I leave for Hawaii with my family for a family wedding, hooray. I've been up for a couple hours now and I'm trying to gain some momentum with this unusual day. Action cures the feeling of laziness in my experience. I had an extremely busy last few days and I need to process those experiences, probably through private journaling, since I learned a whole lot and stepped out of my comfort zone in a few ways. I'm doing laundry and once that's done, I'm going to pack for my trip. I need to get some more momentum going on my coding as well. I hit a wall because I'm at the end of the course I was taking and now I have to do a project - the difficulty just spiked and I'm feeling a bit lost with it. But that's not a good reason to quit. I'm starting to feel a bit meh. Because I'm becoming more aware of the fact that I want a different job and possibly to live in a different place. But the prospect of changing those things feels huge. Doesn't mean I won't - I'm actively exploring and working toward these changes - but it will be a huge life change for me. Self-Recognition Choosing to continue even when things are feeling tough.Allowing myself to take a day off.Looking to the future.Have a great day everyone.
  4. Day 255 Memorial Day! Today I'm going to visit an friend down in San Diego. She lives about 1 hour away from me. I'm probably going to spend the bulk of my day with her. Then I'm meeting Cam in SD for his birthday! Haha. Happy Birthday Dude! Excited to meet some of his friends there. Kind of tired this morning. I've been very good about keeping my morning schedule (shower, 5 minute journal, meditate, make bed, breakfast) and my evening schedule (wind down, no screens, dental hygiene, read fiction before bed). I've slipped up on my daily coding yesterday and possibly today as well because I've been really busy with social stuff. The truth is that if I wanted to I could make time for it. But I'm enjoying the social things I'm engaged in. I will try to code today and certainly get back to it tomorrow. I'm leaving for a trip to Hawaii for a family wedding this week. It will be challenge to maintain my healthy habits and routines while on this trip, but I will do my best. It's very important that I keep them going regardless of circumstance. Self-Recognition I recognize myself for committing to and getting so much accomplished this weekend.I recognize myself for being vulnerable by sharing my podcast with someone who shared interest in it in real life. I don't know her that well, but hopefully she likes it haha.I recognize myself for allowing myself to sleep in a bit today :).
  5. Day 254 Thoughts for today. Taking actions drives mental shifts, especially when the action involves new experiences. Specifically, stepping out of your comfort zone will prompt mental shifts. I picked up the idea from the Tim Ferriss show that "What's on the other side of fear?" is "Nothing" - meaning that when we step outside of our comfort zone into situations that we are nervous or afraid of, there is rarely any actual negative consequences. But, we gain the benefit of having had a new experience, which can give us new insights. Self-Recognition Getting all my responsibilities out of the way early today.Putting myself in social situations I've been somewhat unsure of lately. (they turned out great!)Doing all the things!
  6. Day 253 Short entry today. First, new podcast episode, enjoy: https://soundcloud.com/travis-kirk-992919435/episode-4-science-and-religion Second, I realized I have more things scheduled for today than I possibly have time for. Haha. I have approximately one hour until a social event, going to celebrate a birthday with some friends downtown. Last night I went swing/blues dancing with friends too and it was a great time. I was nervous at first but once I learned a bit it was a ton of fun. I told myself I would look for jobs / continue coding work today but I may just not have time. I need to allow myself time to relax, too. I ended up doing 2 hours of BJJ today instead of just 1, so that threw my schedule off. So did sleeping in, since I got home later from dancing than I anticipated. All worth it though. The important thing is that I kept to my morning and evening routines regardless of what time I actually went to bed/got up at. Self-Recognition I recognize myself for going dancing last night even though I wasn't looking forward to it. It was a really great time!I recognize myself for doing 2 hours of BJJ today even though I was only planning on 1, and with going 3x per week these last two weeks.I recognize myself for allowing myself the time I need to unwind, rather than working myself to death :).Have a good day, everyone.
  7. Day 252 Yesterday's salary discussion went fine, and wasn't actually that stressful. Because of various layers of bureaucracy at my work place (I work in the public sector) I won't know what they'll offer me for a bit of time and it won't be approved until a few months from now. But, I've taken all the action I can and put my best foot forward, so I feel good about the situation. I have a productive weekend planned out. I'm actually going to start applying for other jobs just to put some feelers out and get a sense of what else is out there. I think it will be good for me. As I'm going along in this process I'm gaining more confidence and a greater sense of agency in my life in terms of where I choose to live and what I choose to do in terms of work. I'm also continuing to work on coding, and my podcast. I got some accessories for my podcast mic that should result in better sound so I'm excited about that :). Also I made Palak Dal today: http://www.perisspiceladle.com/2013/10/25/slow-cooked-indian-lentils-and-spinach-served-over-basmati-rice-palak-chana-daal/ healthy, cheap, tasty, easy. I'm going out swing dancing later tonight with a bunch of my friends. I'm not really into dancing but if I were better at it I'm sure I'd enjoy it more. Pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone in a good way I suppose. Self-Recognition I recognize myself for planning productive activities this weekend and sticking to them.I recognize myself for taking the initiative to blend some of my friend groups by inviting them to hang out together.I recognize myself for sticking to healthy habits lately.
  8. kortheo

    Building me

    "Fine - I will feel this and embrace this. It must be part of the journey I need to take. It will not kill me, I will just feel like it is and then it will be over and I will be on the other side. I don't want to do this. I do not have to take this step - I am choosing this step because it is my belief it is right. If I fall and game it is not failure it is only failure when I give up and I am not giving up. I am not going to fall today." Awesome. Especially the part about choosing. Thanks for such a vulnerable post. You clearly have come a long way on your journey of growth. If you like podcasts, have you ever listened to Mental Illness Happy Hour (http://mentalpod.com/)? I highly recommend it, and the host has a history of childhood abuse as well, so it might resonate with you.
  9. Awesome way to think about it!
  10. Day 251 Today, I'm going to ask for a raise. Probably right after I finish typing this, actually. I am nervous. I've already kind of discussed it with my boss, but I have to talk about it with HR now and I'm going to make my case. I feel that I am significantly underpaid now, so I will be asking for a significant bump and that adds to the stress. There is a part of me that doesn't want to do it, because I am nervous and afraid. However, there is another part of me that knows that I must, and that I have no choice in the matter. Because: the alternative is to continue to feel that I'm being treated unfairly, and to know that I have done nothing to fix the situation. If I do that, then I lose respect for myself. I will minimize my own self-worth. Even if the talk goes poorly, at least I'll know that I did my best to stand up for myself, and I'll learn from the experience. I'll have acted in a way that I am proud of and have no regrets about. Self-Recognition Choosing to ask for a raise today.Keeping up with my morning routine lately. Doing great!Keeping up with my daily commitment to coding. Also doing great!
  11. I hate this feeling of being behind - which is why I mostly just stopped watching TV entirely. I didn't watch much, but I had a Netflix subscription that I felt I had to justify each month by using it. I ended up getting rid of it and don't miss it. There is always more TV to watch, and while others may disagree, I guess there just isn't much value in watching TV to me. I will still watch it when relaxing with friends, but it ends up being 1-3 hours per week at most. Once you start to find new activities, you'll find things that simply give you a better return on your investment on your time than TV. In the meantime, if you don't want to give up TV entirely, as Cam suggested you could simply choose to only follow a couple shows that you find are the most valuable to you, and use the rest of the time for something more productive. In general though, when it comes to things that we overdo it on, I find it easiest to just cut it out entirely than to try to moderate. Again, different people will have different views.
  12. Day 250 Today, a post on potential bad habits. In the same way that working on foundations - healthy food, sleep, exercise, meditation, journaling - can create a positive upward spiral, there are some things that for me can cause a negative spiral of addiction. These seem to be sugar, caffeine, alcohol, porn, and games. I notice that if I start having more of any of these (except games since I haven't played them in 250 days!) I'll start to crave the others. They feed into each other somehow. Caffeine isn't as bad as the others, but it's easy to get carried away with it, too. This week I've noticed myself trending in this direction. It's just easy to go for cheap thrills sometimes. So, it's a good skill to be able to be aware of that and halt it before it gets out of control. Another thing I'm thinking about today. I have always struggled with spending too much money on food. I'm starting to dial in some staple foods/recipes that I enjoy enough to eat over and over that are also healthy and relatively cheap. Now the work will be in shifting to cooking more for myself and eating out less. It's a difficult process for me, but it's one I've been slowly getting better at for months/years. This week I'm planning on making some slow-cooker Palak Dal . Self-Recognition I'm glad I went to the grocery store last night.I'm glad I went to BJJ last night.I'm glad I am working on eating cheaper and saving money on food.
  13. Day 249 Today, I wanted to do a short post on schedules. Yesterday I talked about making the time for things. In order to do that, you have to plan and keep a schedule. This post won't be entirely new to you if you've seen Cam's stuff, but I wanted to share my thoughts on the topic. Before I quit games I didn't have a schedule really. I woke up, went to work, came home, and if I got anything productive done it was pretty much by accident. After quitting games I worked up to scheduling certain activities as I was getting better at finding new hobbies. These days my week is pretty meticulously scheduled. This was my schedule for last week: (Sunday wasn't actually blank, by the way. I spent the entire day in the mountains with friends). I find that if I schedule something, it usually gets done. If I leave it up to chance or how I'm feeling in the moment, it gets put off. "What gets measured gets improved", and scheduling your activities is akin to measuring how you want to spend your time. Self Recognition I recognize myself for adding to my bucketlist.I recognize myself for getting to work on time/slightly early.I recognize myself for not succumbing to the temptation to get breakfast at Starbucks and waste $5 . Have a great day, everyone.
  14. Day 248 Lately I've been noticing a new phrase more and more - "make the time" vs "have the time". Some people talk about their time as something they control, while others talk about it like it's something that just happens. If people say things like "I didn't have the time" or "I'd would have liked to do that but it was just so busy this weekend" it implies something about the way they experience their reality. They don't take responsibility for how they spend their time - life just happens to them. They aren't very good at choosing how to allocate time to various things. You don't have control over your day, you are reactive instead of proactive. When people talk about "making the time" it implies a more active engagement with how they live their life. It implies that they view time as a valuable, finite resource that must be spent wisely. It implies that they acknowledge that if they want to do some fun thing, they have to find a way to fit it into their life, and that may mean giving up something else. From this mindset, you always have the time - everyone has the same 24 hours. It's all about how you choose to spend and allocate time. And that's something you have full control over. I have recently made the shift from "having" to "making" and it is pretty empowering. I encourage you to do the same. You will begin to notice how other people talk about time, and it's a subtle but clear signal about their mindset as a person. Self-recognition I recognize myself for following my morning schedule and getting to work on time.I recognize myself for doing my podcast this weekend. It was a lot of work.I recognize myself for learning what a good limit on alcohol is for me during social situations and sticking to it.
  15. Day 247 Not much of a journal today - choose to prioritize other things. But I'll be back tomorrow. HOWEVER, I have a new podcast episode that I think you'll enjoy. This week I cover my experience quitting video games in a fair amount of detail. Hope you enjoy. Episode 3 - Quitting Video Games https://soundcloud.com/travis-kirk-992919435/episode-3-quitting-video-games TIL that editing 1+ hour of audio takes many hours :). Suddenly I respect the effort that goes into creating my favorite podcasts out there.
  16. Day 246 Yesterday I got a haircut that didn't turn out so great. I usually just get cheap haircuts at like a Supercuts - today I think I'm going to go find better of a place to get it fixed, and hopefully start getting better haircuts in the future. I haven't changed my general hairstyle in years. I think it might be time for a slight change. Right now at least I'd like to have something a little shorter and easier to manage. I generally like having longer hair but it's getting boring. Lately I've been thinking about refreshing some of my wardrobe and appearance. It's been awhile since I've had a new shoes, and I'm considering contacts for a few reasons. Notably, contacts would be very convenient while doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu - currently I have to take on and put up my glasses several times during the session. It's hard to practice with glasses on sometimes because they can come flying off, but it's important to have them on while watching instruction so I can actually see what's being taught. Also I guess my current sense of style and look was something I came up with maybe four years ago when I first graduated from college. I'm a pretty different person now, so it's probably time for me to rethink some things. Today is going to be a great day. I'm getting coffee with a friend, going to work on Udacity coding work, getting my hair fixed, cleaning out my wardrobe and maybe going clothes shopping, and hanging out with friends later tonight. I'm also going to Brazilian jiu-jitsu for the third time this week which is something I've never done before. It's starting to become more enjoyable for me as I'm getting more comfortable with it and choosing to dedicate more time to it. I'm also going to make a podcast episode today, so it should be pretty full schedule for me. Update: I wrote this this morning... I'll maybe get half of this actually done today. I was too ambitious Good thing I have plenty of time tomorrow. Self recognition 1 I recognize myself for waking up at a decent time today 2 I recognize myself for choosing to own my appearance 3 recognize myself for committing to work on Udacity stuff today. Have a great day everyone.
  17. Shhhhhhhh Is that even you in your avatar or did you get a random picture of a dude off the internet? Asking for a friend. It is me! I swear. Just with longer hair and contacts :P.
  18. Day 245 Hey guys! I thought I'd try something a little different today. My hands are bugging me so rather than type, I'm using speech to text in Evernote on my phone it's going pretty well. Actually extremely well. I really ought to make more use of this it would save my hands a lot of work. All I have to do is some formatting clean up when I'm done. Anyway, lately I've been thinking about career development, and I'm not sure which way to go yet. I thought about continuing in network / system administration, but after exploring some certification avenues none of them really feel like something I'm passionate about. I've been interested in programming for a long time but never really dived into it completely. I'm playing around with some of Udacity's offerings and liking it so far, so I'm going to keep exploring and get a better feel for the options out there. The most important thing is that I do this consistently. I've committed to doing at least one hour a day, 6 days a week. They have 'nanodegree' programs that require hundreds of hours of effort, but with at least 6 hours a week I could finish in a little over a year, and a lot shorter if I tried. Another thing I'm thinking about doing is cutting down on mindless browsing by replacing it with mindfulness. Mindless browsing on my computer or phone does very little to add value to my life. So I'm going to use it as a trigger for present moment mindfulness. If I notice that I mindlessly browsing, I will stop immediately and just focus on my breath, or sensations, or sounds to bring me into the moment. This will have three effects for me personally: 1 It will reduce an activity that doesn't add value to my life 2 It will strengthen a useful skill mindfulness 3 it will save my hands from excess computer use, helping to control my RSI symptoms. Those are my thoughts for this morning - it was nice that I typed almost none of this! Speech recognition has come a long way even from a couple years ago when I last tried this. I may start doing all my journals this way - or record short audio journals, or a mix thereof. This definitely reads differently than a normal journal but I can work on that over time. I put the text into Evernote on my phone and then it gets automatically synced to my desktop where I can clean it up and edit it and then copy paste it to you guys :-) Bonus - this was actually faster than typing all of this out, no joke. Self-Recognition 1 experimenting with something new - speech-to-text for writing journals! 2 recognizing that I need to take more breaks with computer use and allowing myself that 3 committing myself to professional development again and exploring what interests me, rather than settling settling for something that I could do but might not enjoy. Have a good day everyone!
  19. Day 243 My mind has lacked a certain spark recently that I feel coming back today. I came into work today and just had a certain clarity of thought on how to approach a problem that's been missing for a while. I'm not specifically sure why it's back, but it could be a few things - sleeping better, meditating regularly again (4 day streak right now, hoping to make that muuuch longer), being back at BJJ, or also possibly this journal. Writing this is practice for thinking clearly and well. Realistically it's probably all of these things. The work problem is specific in nature. For those of you who don't know, I work in IT. I've noticed that when I'm dealing with a problem that is purely technical, and that when troubleshooting won't impact anyone, then I'm very comfortable with it. I am very competent at researching and solving such technical problems. But when I have to affect someone else or inconvenience them, interrupt them in order to do my job, etc (which is frequently in IT) then I procrastinate like all hell. I hate having to interrupt or inconvenience people. I dread the interaction. It feels awkward. Sometimes I'll be asking people for things and they don't even really understand what I'm trying to do, so it feels very one-sided. As an example, I need to track down a group of people and enroll their work phones in our mobile device management software. I know who the people are. I have a list. But I've been putting it off. Because first I have to track the person down, then I have to explain what I'm doing (which they likely won't get because they're like 50+ a lot of the time and don't work in IT), and ask them to input their password at key moments while we wait there for 20 minutes for the phone to chug along and do its thing. And half the time I can't find them because they don't have a set desk all the time, and then I end up wasting my time. So, going back to my journal from yesterday and applying a key idea - asking the right questions. I asked myself "What would this look like if it were easy?" (this is also Experimenting as well because I'm trying a different approach). Well, I would email them instead of trying to call them or track them down in person. This one was easy. Actually, I did this already, but it didn't work as a mass email, so I'm going to email them individually and see if that works. Second, I'll write a script so that this email is automated and I can send it out to all of them at once. Third, instead of me worrying about their schedule, I'll just ask them to come find me on their own time. Fourth, I can explain in the email what it's all about so they understand. Fifth, when they come to me to have me help them, I can try to make small talk so it's less awkward as opposed to trying to talk to them about the phone thing, which they probably won't find all that interesting anyway. So in general, I prefer work that doesn't involve interaction, at least when it's people I don't know well. If I have a team I work with on a regular basis and know well, that's different. This leads me to a broader question - does it make more sense to find a job that requires less interaction where I can hone my technical chops, or does it make sense to work on the social side - my weak area - and be better able to deal with situations I find uncomfortable? I'm honestly not sure. I guess for the short term, I'll work on the uncomfortable, since I'm in it. And I'll grow from it. For a long time I've felt like I could never possibly get everything done at work that I need to. But now I'm starting to think maybe I can if I experiment and approach things a little differently. I feel myself gaining momentum again. I'm doing all the right things and cutting out the fat. It's very important I think to realize that when you're feeling stressed, unmotivated, etc, that the solution usually isn't to try harder, but to try something different, OR to do all the Right Things that will make you feel more engaged and able to take on the day. Which usually means taking care of yourself, going back to your foundations, etc. Self Recognition I recognize myself for getting into work 2 minutes early today.I recognize myself for scheduling personal time for myself this week.I recognize myself for sticking to decaf this morning.
  20. I sure will! I might have to use my phone or something to record for now though. I need to get used to speaking my mind, as I'm very reserved in what I say and often keep my mouth shut so that I don't make any mistakes. That certainly has to change, so starting a podcast would certainly be a great place to practice speaking my mind. Your podcasts have been great so far by the way, I listened to all three of them! Wow awesome, I'm so glad you liked them! I'm going to do another one this weekend, possibly about my experience/thoughts on quitting games. I definitely have the same issue as you, and it's been great practice for speaking my mind and getting a bit more comfortable with it.
  21. Reminds me of: https://www.reddit.com/r/outside A subreddit for Outside, a free-to-play MMORPG developed by Deity Games and the most popular game, with 7 billion+ active players.
  22. Another thing that I need to start doing is recognizing myself for the effort and work I put in. I'm very bad at this. I will accomplish something and spend no time at all appreciating my work or feeling proud. It's just on to the next thing. So I'm going to start to make that a daily practice in my journal. This will be hard. Just 3 things. I recognize myself for taking the time to put together 2 long and thoughtful journal entries these past 2 days.I recognize myself for working hard on my personal development this week.I recognize myself for dealing with a stressful situation at work today head-on instead of ignoring it or putting it off.Maybe some of you could also benefit from this practice.
  23. Day 242 Please do! I've noticed that part of the reason I've been feeling stressed recently is because I haven't been paying any attention to money. I've been spending without thinking and don't keep track of my budget. This is partially because I know I'm making more than I'm spending, so I know I'm doing okay. And I don't tend to spend money in a frivolous way. Nonetheless, I've gotten sloppy and been spending more than I should, particularly on food. So it's time for me to return to keep track of this stuff better so that I feel more in control and aware of what's going on in that part of my life. I feel like this has been a background part of my anxiety that I just haven't given enough attention to. I'm making a renewed effort to meditate consistently. It's been only 3 days now, but already I feel more focused and present. The world seems clearer, and I don't feel as trapped by anxiety. I've used Headspace in the past, but now I'm trying the Calm app, and I'm enjoying it. Just using the free parts so far, but even the paid version is cheaper than Headspace (not to knock Headspace, it's great). I'm getting on top of stuff at work more this week. There are a lot of things I've been putting off that I'm tackling again, which feels great. It's not always easy but I'm gaining momentum. Suddenly things are feeling more manageable. I also had my first BJJ session in over a week yesterday. I took last week off. But it was really good to be back. I was only doing 1x/week before, now ramping up to 3x/week. 2-3x per week is necessary if I want to advance; 1x just doesn't cut it. I was kind of feeling it out before, but now I'm ready to go deeper. Using the framework I explained yesterday, I wanted to list out all of my current foundations/projects in my life: Foundation/Project Standard/CommitmentGoal/Purpose1Sleep8 hours / nightWaking up feeling rested with enough energy for the whole day2MeditationEverydayBeing focused and present throughout the day3ExerciseBJJ 3x / weekGet my first White Belt stripe, stay in shape, learn self-defense, build confidence4FoodEat Slow-carbFeeling healthy, cooking rather than eating out5MoneyTrack spending with Personal Capital 1/weekGet spending under control, save more money (50% of income is ideal)6Personal Time2 nights / weekMaintain balance, create space for introverted recharging and reflection7Podcasting Create 1 episode/weekCreative expression, community feedback, personal growth, enjoyment8Coaching with CamMeet with Cam 1/weekContinuous personal development, with specific subgoals9MeetupHost 1 event/monthDevelop community and stay socially engaged10Massage Therapy1 session/weekManage/reverse symptoms of RSI from computer use11 Journaling Writing Daily Process experience & grow This is basically for my own benefit to lay everything out. There may be smaller items that I missed. Many of these are not hard - indeed, that's kind of the point. But it's the accumulation of all of them that combines into a life that works for me. Have a great day everyone. EDIT: I have more thoughts to share. Now that I'm journaling more regularly, they come to mind more readily. At this point, I have quit games. I didn't know if I could or not, but I did it. In some ways it feels like I've done the impossible. Where does that leave me? I'm in a good place in my life in a lot of ways. I can't complain about much. So what do I work on next? I could be more fulfilled in my job. I could continue to build more fulfilling relationships with friends, family, and women. These are huge and small things at the same time - fundamental parts of life we all contend with, that never really get finished, I would imagine. The question of "how" here is the very challenging and complex. How do I get more fulfillment? I think there are several key components here, several key skills and mindsets that I've been learning recently but haven't articulated to myself until now. This is just a rough draft of what's coming to mind for me: Experimentation - trying new things, even if you're not sure it'll work, even if you may not want to do it really. Playing around to see if you can make things work better. Getting as much data as possible so you can optimize your life for how you want it. Not being afraid to fail.Asking the right questions - directing your thoughts and energy in the right way to get what you need. There is power in good questions. If you're stuck on a problem and not sure how to fix it because it seems so annoyingly difficult, ask "What would this look like if it were easy?". This will change the way you approach it. If you're in a situation you don't enjoy, rather than making yourself miserable thinking about that, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" This will shift you to enjoying what you're gaining from the situation, and may even teach you something about yourself.Being Honest with Yourself - a big one for me lately. It's surprisingly easy to pursue things that you tell yourself you want that you actually don't. Being honest with yourself about what will truly make you happy and then choosing to pursue that instead of whatever else you're currently doing will do a lot to make your life more fulfilling.Critical Thinking - Taking the time to really examine where you are and what's going on in your life, and putting in that effort to think for yourself about how you should move forward, rather than relying soley on advice from others. I have a bad habit of searching for advice elsewhere to give me the answer, but deciding for yourself what the answer needs to be can be empowering. Sometimes you'll be wrong, but that's valuable as a learning experience.Being Dedicated - not giving up, putting in a good effort, consistently striving for what you want. Showing up consistently to your commitments.Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone on a regular basis - this is really important for growth. It is difficult as hell, but you gain so much experience by doing it, and it can help you learn what works and what doesn't. This is related to experimentation and being dedicated.Continuous Learning - Always be learning. The more information you have, the better decisions you can make. And frequently you'll learn about new options for yourself that you couldn't have worked towards before when you didn't know they existed. If I notice I can't make a decision and end up mentally spinning my wheels, it's usually a sign I need to gain more experience/learn more before I will have enough information to make a decision.Checking in with yourself - Regularly be mindful of where you're at emotionally and mentally, and if the path you're on is the right one. This can serve as a rudder to steer your effort.EDIT: Working towards what fulfills you. Even if you're not where you want to be yet, if you consciously work towards it and get on the path to it, you will feel good about yourself because you're working on the things that are most important to you. This is key for me.Some of these are vague and may not make sense to everyone. But now that I'm thinking about it, these are the key skills I've been developing the past few months, and that I want to keep developing.
  24. Okay, that's fine. Maybe you're not interested in language or crafts; neither am I really. What about a physical hobby? Or do you exercise regularly? One other approach might be to think about what would be a challenge for you. Challenge yourself to do something you're not quite you can accomplish. For example, when I quit gaming I decided to run a 5k. I was unsure if I would succeed. I had never done that before, but it motivated me to get in shape and run and ended up being a great experience.
  • Create New...