Schwing

So i've gotten to a point where i can't help myself and I just grab my phone and wank. It's honestly physically difficult to stop myself. I need help!

Date: Fri 18/12/2016 Journal day: 37 Detox day: 42 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 1 Woke up at: 11:30 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up late. Pretty chill day. Helped around the house a bit.So I have been on a fap streak lately. I hate pornI overcame the urge to jerk it though.I don't know if I over extend myself with my hobbies. I want to do art, writing, climbing, running, music, reading and on top of that school work. Maybe I should cut down on my ambitions.I hate myself for how miserable and unsociable I am but more so when I see people annoyed at me for it.Tasks and Achievements: ProjectMoving furniture DrumsWhat I am grateful for: MetalSchool holidaysMy family and my employersBooksNice food. I want to learn how to cook.What I have learnt from today: I am a very ungrateful and unaffectionate person. Maybe I just need to grow up?About tomorrow: Get up earlyDon't wankFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsBe productiveI will look into going down to my local climbing centre in the holidaysI need to buy presents for my familyNotes

It's possible to change that, but it has to come from you. For instance, if in-person isn't an option, you could ask people on the forum to have Skype chats and develop your like-minded social circle that way. As a teenager who lives in the middle of nowhere i lack a lot of freedom so I supose i shouldn't underrate internet friends.

I'll never forget witcher 3, skyrim, dark souls 2 or shadow of mordor. I'd like to get back to these games a little bit in the future and play in moderation. The thing with RPGs is you play the shit out of them once and then put them down for a while. Like a good book. So true. I often find it hilarious when some people are telling that RPG'S have no end and are addictive as f*ck, I don't find that true, I'm bored easier with them Yup. I always found that with single player games they are a lot more peaceful and you don't feel pushed to play more unlike with MMOs.

Date: Fri 16/12/2016 Journal day: 35 Detox day: 40 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 1 Woke up at: 07:20 Thoughts and Feelings: I can't be fucked to get up early anymoreI want to have proper friends very badlyI wish there were other metalheads at my schoolSchool holidays starts now.Tasks and Achievements: ProjectArtWhat I am grateful for: MetalSchool holidaysWhat I have learnt from today: I've entered this weird phase where I don't care about anything. i relapse on my nofap a lot because of thisSometimes I lack the willpower to not wank. I lose sight of why I shouldn't do it.I don't think I was ever addicted to games. Just I played them instead of having a real life.About tomorrow: Get up earlyDon't wankFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsBe productiveI will look into going down to my local climbing centre in the holidaysNotes:

Thank you for taking the time to read my journal.

I'll never forget witcher 3, skyrim, dark souls 2 or shadow of mordor. I'd like to get back to these games a little bit in the future and play in moderation. The thing with RPGs is you play the shit out of them once and then put them down for a while. Like a good book.

Thanks cam. I just don't have a lot of likeminded people around me I can relate to.

Date: Sun 14/12/2016 Journal day: 33 Detox day: 38 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 0 Got up late. I was very confident, calm and collected today. Did some running. Did 100 pushups. Came home and managed a bit of studying but I relapsed again on my nofap. It was like a physical itch that needed to be scratched but right after I still felt that itch. Weird. Maybe it wasn't an itch and I misinterpreted it? What I am grateful for: MetalTalking to people I like

Date: Sun 13/12/2016 Journal day: 32 Detox day: 37 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 3 So pretty decent day. Got up very late. I wasn't unhappy at school. Got quite a bit of studying done. A whole class of year 8s decided to try and wind me up. Didn't give a fuck. Good that I am able to rationalise with myself. Went climbing after. I was alone for a lot of today but not sad- just reclusive and quite indifferent. Came home. Didn't get much studying done or do much productive. What I am grateful for: MetalNot giving a fuckClimbing

I found if you line your doorways and window sills with old gameboy cartridges then he can't come in.

Thank you for taking the time to share your scepticism though.

Do whatever you want. This site is for people unhappy with their gaming/ internet addiction habits. If you feel that quitting games isn't for you after giving it some thought it was worth the effort to ascertain that. Some people need encouragement to break bad habits. That's what the community here is for. Not everybody has it in themselves to make the change on their own and don't know where to start. So people here point them towards resources and give them advice to get them started in hopes that they find the strength within themselves to make the change. It's not aggressive coercion it's healthy encouragement. As for your criticism towards the "delete all your games method", I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because there isn't really 1 right way of quitting. If gaming isn't a problem for you then that's great. But if you just listen to the stories of some of the people on this site you will see that gaming addiction is a very real problem This would be ideal. The thing is the services gamequitters provides are not just 1 thing. And we do not assume that one guy's way is the only way. Many people come here and talk and share their different perspectives and we often discuss alternate self development material. Gamequitters is far from being a perfect handbook to quitting games and enriching lives.

Good job starting your journal

Nobody will say bad things to you here. Feel free to be open.

Date: Sun 11/12/2016 Journal day: 30 Detox day: 35 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 1 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysDon't wank. Don't Game.You matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Do not give a fuck about unfuckworthy things5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 07:40 Went to bed at: 23:00 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up at a reasonable time for sundayI spend a lot of time listening to music at my computer desk.Pretty chill day. Blasted some music. Watched a movie.I was talking to my danish friend i met on steam while I was depressed and I hid my emotions a lot even though he is very open with meTasks and Achievements: StudyingReading50 pushupsArtWhat I am grateful for: MetalFoodEmo faggot musicWhat I have learnt from today: I probably feel alone because I am antisocial and don't open up to anyoneI didn't use to get this depressed. Now that I have entered this self development phase I am overly critical of myself.I focus on the negative to oftenI relapsed a while ago and jerked it to porn. But now I have relapsed my resolve to not wank is far stronger.About tomorrow: Get up earlyDon't wankFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsRunningNotes:

Hi Kristian. Best of luck on your journey.

I haven't posted for the last couple of days because of work. Basically my confidence and nofap streak ended. Relapsed like a motherfucker.

Date: Tue 7/12/2016 Journal day: 26 Detox day: 31 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 4 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysDon't wank. Don't Game.You matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Do not give a fuck about unfuckworthy things5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 07:40 Went to bed at: 22:45 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up very very lateI felt very confident and happy today again. Not wanking is paying off.I feel more masculine as well. Probably my testosterone levels.I had to show this new guy around school. No social anxiety at all.My social anxiety was almost gone today. I was taking more risks.I get dicked on a lot because everyone thinks I'm an emo faggot. I don't care. 2 years and I'm leaving this shithole.So I felt a bit shit at the end of the day because I got envious of other people.Tasks and Achievements: Bit of studyingAte loads.Reading100 pushupsOvercame the urge to wank again.I did gym instead of runningWhat I am grateful for: MetalFoodNot giving a fuckTestosteroneWhat I have learnt from today: DON'T WANK! NO MATTER WHAT!Who gives a shit if people push me around? What the fuck are they gonna do other than slag me off?About tomorrow: Get up earlyDon't wankFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsStudying- big dayNotes:

Date: Tue 6/12/2016 Journal day: 25 Detox day: 30 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 3 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysDon't wank. Don't Game.You matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Do not give a fuck about unfuckworthy things5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 06:40 Went to bed at: 22:35 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up nice and earlyI felt very confident and happy today even though there were a lot of things that could have potentially triggered my depressionEverytime I began to doubt myself today I just told myself "who fucking cares. i have more important things to worry about" and it workedGet me out of this fucking school! I want university already.Tasks and Achievements: Lot of studying100 pushupsAte loads.Reading100 pushupsOvercame the urge to wank again. This is fucking difficultWhat I am grateful for: MetalFoodNot giving a fuckThat article work in progress sent me. Seriously just what i needed.What I have learnt from today: Who cares about girls, popularity and all this shit. I don't need any of it right now- it's irrelevant. I have a purpose and that is to be the best person I can be.I can reason with myself to not wank and identify my urges as cravings and not necessities.I am feeling as if I am readjusting to reality. Real life activities like climbing suddenly really appeal to me and the dedication I had for videogames has almost translated into them.I am quite keen on getting big. I'm getting the same vibe from starting out on an MMORPG and building my character for the first time.About tomorrow: Get up earlyDon't wankFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsRunningNotes: I have fucked up my detox day countdownI might be 1/3rd of the way through or not. If so this is a huge milestone.

Date: Tue 5/12/2016 Journal day: 24 Detox day: 29 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 2 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysDon't wank. Don't Game.You matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 11:00 Went to bed at: 22:35 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up lateI felt quite satisfied todayListened to a lot of musicBought a new phone todayForgot german wordsTasks and Achievements: Bit of studyingAte loads.Reading100 pushupsOvercame the urge to wankWhat I am grateful for: MetalFoodThat article that german guy sent me above.What I have learnt from today: Not wanking is very hard for me. I should definitely stop then.I must master the art of fuckgiving- not in the literal sense (but let's just say I wouldn't be complaining if I was)Thinking about it. My social paranoia triggers my depression and bursts my bubble.About tomorrow: Get up earlyDon't wankTalk to some girlsFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsClimbingNotes: I have fucked up my detox day countdown somehow

I don't care about anyone. That is my problem. Save one person maybe. Nice article btw. very helpful

Date: Tue 4/12/2016 Journal day: 23 Detox day: 28 NoFap day ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ): 1 100 pushups a dayGet up at 6:30 every day apart from sundaysDon't wank. Don't Game.You matter the most.Negativity is there because you feel negative. The world is not against you.Nobody cares about how you act. They only care about their ego. Express yourself!5 German words a dayEat as much as you can whenever you can you skinny little shite Every failure is room for improvement- nothing more and nothing lessBe persistent. Progress adds up over time. Woke up at: 11:00 Went to bed at: 22:35 Thoughts and Feelings: Got up lateI felt quite depressed this morning but not cripplingly so (meme not intended)Did studying wellListened to a lot of musicRipped audio from my new CDsDid some art and tried out watercolourForgot german wordsTasks and Achievements: Lot of studying done very wellAte loads.Art100 pushupsOvercame the urge to wankWhat I am grateful for: MetalFoodThe internetPeople who careWhat I have learnt from today: Not wanking is very hard for me. I should definitely stop then.Don't let my mood get the better of me. Positive mood or negative mood. Stay level headed. Keep persistent with my goals that's all that matters.Music incredibly boosts my moodI like being by myself. Most social interaction tires me.About tomorrow: Get up earlyDon't wankTalk to some girlsFocus when studyingStay consistent with your goalsNotes:

I have been busy these past couple of days and needed to get to sleep early. Basically on friday I was quite depressed at school and I talked to a couple of girls but my self confidence just gave way and I just stuck my headphones back on and went back to studying. I also had quite a deep conversation with this one guy about leaving school. He is very likeminded to me. He is very antisocial and is picked on quite a bit. He is very smart though and realises that school is just a fad too. It's just a game about being fake and being the most popular. He knows that all the people at school are friends that nobody will ever keep and he can't wait till he gets into the adult world. I went to work still depressed and I came out the same way. That's never happened. I have always been satisfied. So on saturday I had to get up early and go to a climbing competition with school. It went pretty bad. I was the only one that didn't make the semi finals and it really triggered my depression and low self esteem. So for the rest of the day I just spiralled deeper and deeper into negative thinking and self hate about being a loser in general. People noticed this but I just bottled up my emotions. I always do that. I hate showing weakness and burdening others with my problems. The strange thing is though the guy that was giving awards out at the event gave this speech at the end. Everybody just looked like they thought it was a dumb pep talk but for me it was like this guy was looking straight into my soul. To summarise, he said that everybody had the gift of youth and that they should keep getting up and try to become their dream self no matter what. Straight after I got home went to bed, I had a sad wank and cried. Pathetic I know. Didn't do pushups or anything. So now it's the following morning and I feel very disheartened. I have looked back on my life and it's been just one massive rubber-banding of happiness and depression. I am sick of looking past myself to be happy. That's all I have been doing. I looked past myself into videogames and the achievements of my character. I look past myself now to my dream self daydreaming all the time. The other thing is though that I can't stay negative all the time because it will eat away at me and I'd be very mentally unstable. So I don't know how to feel or anything. Right now I just feel like staying miserable but I'm going to be persistent with my hobbies no matter what. I don't care about what i get out of it. My life needs purpose and my hobbies will provide that for me. I also hate school. I just want to get to university already and leave everyone in this shithole behind. One day things will fall into place. I cant give up with my hobbies or I can never hope for a brighter side. Well that was my edgy emo faggot myspace blog straight out of 2006. Hope you enjoyed.

Thanks mate I like to logically order things a lot. That's just me. I think the main bad thing about wanking is the guilt that I have whenever I do it. I just think to myself: "I'm such a fucking loser. The only way I can get off is by myself. I can't even talk to girls" I will check out that book. Thank you for your suggestion.