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Everything posted by notKosmic

  1. @Zeno thank you! My brain keeps thinking now about playing in moderation. "Just limit it to one hour a day. No watching videos about it, or anything other than one hour." I don't know if I could do that though. Yikes. D2 is Diablo 2. I play on PC. What program can block the game? Couldn't the person just uninstall that program from blocking?
  2. I started playing d2 again. Just for the last several days. Last night I couldn't fall asleep because I'm thinking about the game. Then I've been starting to wake up after only four hours and my mind is racing with the game. Moderation ain't going to work with this game. I need to quit cold turkey with this one. What would you do? Can you guys encourage me?! I don't like where this is headed... It is miserable.
  3. Day 1 starts again! I'm back. Starting over. I played again and got sucked right back into a game. I've tried to quit a few times in the last few weeks with no success. I need the accountability right now. I'm going through a big time of change and transition. I don't know how to cope very well with that stress and the stomach pain I'm experiencing. So I go to video games again. Time to share the journey. Last time I think I went to hard. I overdid it on the productivity side of things and exhausted myself. I need to find balance and a way to rest and enjoy life without overdoing it and going into fatigue again.
  4. Chess is becoming a problem for me. It is masking the problem. Am I okay to be with myself and not seek instant gratification? No. Not yet. Not at all. Chess online is filling the gap. Time to include that in the detox too.
  5. Reminds me of a message by John Piper that I listened to called Don't waste your life. God thoughts
  6. Day 7 - 1 week Aches. Today I am aching after a vaccine. Not going to give in. I'm still helping some around the house with chores. Just resting today and being a bit grumpy. I should feel better tomorrow. A little more chess.com probably today. RescueTime - 56 No exercise. Did some reading first thing this morning at the table and journaled in a journal. It was a good way to start the day.
  7. Day 6 Presence. For work, I talk to people a lot, caring for people, leading and recruiting people. Yesterday I was more present with them. I enjoyed the conversations with each person. I wasn't thinking about other things easily distracted as much. I remember reading a book called the attentive life where the author defines love as being attentive. Before when I was distracted much of the time I was half paying attention or less than half. If someone shared a time, a name, or something detailed I was having to ask them later, "what time will that be tomorrow again?" "Who's brother needs a phone call?" Shows a lack of love and care. I know I'll have greater capacity to care and love by paying attention to the people around me. Thank God for this change. Rescue Time: 62. 1 hour on chess.com today Youtube etc. 0 time Calisthenics, two mile walk I started reading a new fun book. The second book in the stormlight archive. I also started a book called the soul at rest by Tricia Rhodes.
  8. Thank you Jason. I was a music major in college, then I got married in college and changed careers. I am so grateful for how everything worked out. I was passionate about music for a long time and practiced with tenacity for several years. That practice wasn't a waste even though I don't touch my french horn much anymore. That hard work and diligence helps me now to get out of the home and back in the groove. I believe whatever we major in in college if we love it and learn the value or hard work and how to learn there is a huge benefit there. I appreciate your kindness. Keep up the great work!
  9. Day 5 Days off were being filled more and more with video games. While my wife was homeschooling the kids, there would be times when I was playing Hearthstone and distracting the kids. She has asked me many times not to play while the kids were doing schoolwork. I would retort that it was my day off and I forgot again. Back and forth we went... Thru my last two days on detox I wasn't playing games and I wasn't on YouTube all day. I did play some on chess.com over the last two days but more time was spent with family and helping around the house than before. For sure! Part of detoxing from games and YouTube/Twitch is the fear of finding who you really are again. Who am I really? What am I like? Will I be able to handle life? I am finding, even with medical problems and pain, stress, life transition, new job on the horizon, move across the county, etc. life is worth living "sober." The distractions I went to for comfort were merely chains tightening around me and my potential. I am not happy with where I am at at the moment, but I at least I have an idea. My mind is more clear. The things I want to focus on are still hard to get to, but at least I have a shot. The road ahead won't be easy, but I can face it with strength, instead of from a place of weakness, distraction, and excuses. RescueTime Score: 58 Exercise: calisthenics and two-mile walk Youtube/Netflix time: 0. I finished reading The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. Great read the second time around! I am looking forward to the next one. I have been listening to an autobiography of George Muller during workouts and walking. I am reading a life planning book called Younique as well.
  10. Day 4 My wife and I are talking a lot more. I thought that would be more stressful. Usually, when I am in the digital fog, talking to her about stressful matters is something I just want to get over with. It was irritating to me in that state of mind, a matter to be solved quickly with as little stress as possible. Of course, I wasn't like this all of the time, but more than I want to think about. Now, we talk, hum songs, dance, talk, and enjoy each other again much more. A permanent digital detox may be in order... I have greatly enjoyed talking with her, accomplishing things around the house on my day off, and being more present with my kids. Deep down I had thought that if I went this route I wouldn't be able to take the stress... "I need games or YouTube to dull the stress" Those things don't help though, they are merely a Band-Aid on a sucking chest wound. Some creeping problems. I think about D2 sometimes... where my character would be... odd. I have that twitch where I reach for my phone during those everyday moments to fill the time, nearly clicking on YouTube and watching for a while. Thus far, I have repressed those moments, but Chess.com is sneaking in to fill the gap. I played nearly two hours on Chess.com throughout the day. And, not a lot of "productive" chess, but a lot of blitz games that don't really improve my game. I have some chess books I'd love to work through as an ambitious beginner (1300) that I should focus on. I will be taking the Chess.com app off of my phone and try being more intentional the rest of today. (I remember it being said around here that games, youtube, etc. are like a hydra, repress one, another sprouts up to take its place. Keep chopping the heads off the hydra...) RescueTime Score: 59 (Chess.com issue) Exercise - went for a run/walk. Walked the second half because of some soreness. YouTube/Netflix etc.: 0 time. Went to sleep at 9:30pm reading a book instead of watching a movie for a few hours. That's a win!
  11. Day 3 Story: I played chess over the board with my daughters yesterday. They are getting quite good at the game. I played at their level and intentionally made some bad moves to see how they would capitalize. My oldest daughter did a nice mate in three which I saw and hoped she would see. She just turned 10. She's probably at a 600 ish level now in real chess. She's 1050 on a chess kid website. I was more attentive today with my kids and wife. The other day, the day before the detox, I overheard my 7year old say something that broke my heart. My wife was going to go drop my son off at his therapy sessions and I was going to be with the rest of our kids to help with homework in the morning. She said, "No daddy isn't going to help us. He's going to be playing his game." She was probably right. But that's the day I quit, again, for the last time I hope and pray. Rescue Time score: 62. More time on chess.com, 26 minutes. Time in YouTube, scrolling, etc.: A few minutes scrolling through news, and watched another action movie before bed on Netflix. This could become a pattern. I will try not watching a show or movie period for a few days and just go to bed and read instead. I didn't get enough sleep because I watched the dumb movie. Scratch that... No streaming or tv or movies period. It is a digital detox, not merely a replacement of something else. What I did instead of games and YouTube: nearly finished reading the way of kings. I probably read a few hundred pages. It is epic! Exercise: calesthenics for about 10 minutes with some dumbbell exercises.
  12. A story of intentionality, aka. Adventures in Reality: Date night without the kids yesterday. My wife and I just bought a tee, some t-ball bats, gloves for the kids and myself, and balls for baseball and softball for the kids and us. We played catch together in the yard and on the street. Then we went on a walk around the neighborhood without our kids. We haven't been able to do that in so long! It was so refreshing to not be on my phone showing her the latest "cool video" or whatever I found. We are actually talking. I'm not treating her in my mind like some annoyance away from the phone. It is refreshing to say the least. A stray dog ran up to us as we were walking, barking and acting tough. I got to be a hero and keep him back while the neighbor ran out and got the dog. Baseball gloves are handy for keeping in between you and another animal, especially one with teeth. Day 2 - How did it go yesterday? On a roll! A good day! The Stats: RescueTime score: 68 Time on YouTube, scrolling, etc.: 0 What did you do instead? Yesterday, I read The Way of Kings for a while instead of YouTube or gaming. Exercise: Walking for a mile.
  13. Thank you @TheNewMe2.0 I was doing well for a while there. Life and stress, pain and suffering hit. 2016 I was on these forums for 90 days. Now I am back! I'm glad to be here. You all inspire me. Thank you for helping to encourage me with my detox. It has been incredible thus far. YouTube has been tough to get out of my life, period. It has been liberating already to be away from it. D2, was a recent "fling" with an old "relationship." I just had my wisdom teeth taken out about 10 days ago. Pain tends to bring me back and stress. I will definitely need to be focused on those downs in life to stay on track here. Thanks again!
  14. I just restarted my journey and it is encouraging to read your journal. I loved seeing the photos outside. Thank you for inspiring me to get outside and keep a clear mind!
  15. Day 1 How did it go yesterday? A story of intentionality, aka. Adventures in Reality: I have been in such a fog lately. I had YouTube going nearly nonstop if I wasn't having to attend to something else. Even then, I usually was listening to something "interesting" in the background. Yesterday, my wife asked me to head to the local dollar store and get a gift for my dad. As I was heading out the door she asked me also to pick up a few toothbrushes and some kid's toothpaste for the kids. Usually, I would ask her to text me the whole list or I might forget. As I walked into the store, I wasn't strolling about trying to remember what to get or asking my wife for a list through a text. I was focused, sharp, and happy. My mind is returning. An attentive life, not a dulled life, is one I desire. I easily pride myself for not taking drugs, but today the truth that the digital drug is just as stupifying and perhaps more diabolically entangling has clarified this journey and choice to truly live the digital detox. Sure, last night I was dreaming of slaying monsters on Diablo 2. I even had a trace thought about what level my new character would be today as I worked myself solo through the game, not being rushed by high level characters. But, what is better? Having my mind or not? I'd rather have the former. The Stats: RescueTime score: 68. This is excellent for me. It is near the average for users of RescueTime. Excellent scores by employees of RescueTime are around 79. My average before this day was in the 20s-40s. Much improvement! Time on YouTube, scrolling, etc.: 0! What a day! What did you do instead? To relax and get some "me time," I'm an introvert, I read a book I enjoy reading before bed. Instead of just reading it for 5-10 minutes before sleep I read it for probably a few hours. I am re-reading "The Way of Kings" by Brandon Sanderson as my fun book. I haven't read books 2-4 in that series yet, so I thought I would start over since I read it originally back in 2010. Exercise: I went for a run/walk for 20 minutes. 45 seconds of jogging and then 1 minute and 15 seconds of walking. 2 minute intervals. 7:30 of actual jogging.
  16. My daily template I will try for now: A story of intentionality, aka. Adventures in Reality: Day _ How did it go yesterday? The Stats: RescueTime score: Time on YouTube, scrolling, etc.: What did you do instead? Exercise:
  17. Time to begin the 90 day detox, again. Background: typical gamer 80's kid. Nintendo at 5, super Nintendo in bedroom in later elementary school, Diablo 2 HC addict in high school, WoW addict for a time, ... Now I'm 36 years old. I did the 90 days a few years ago which was helpful. Stress started getting to me this year and last especially. I started playing WoW Shadow lands. Thankfully, after a few weeks I started to get pretty bad neck pain and was abyto stop playing... Just to play something else. Hearthstone. Less clicking. No pain. Then I just picked up Diablo 2 again, for nostalgia, and after a few days of playing the pain is back. Thankfully. Pain is a good thing that says there is a problem. My wife and four kids need me. Need me at my best. Need my attention. I borrowed the following from another user with some modifications. But here are my goals for the next 90 days and beyond. 1)- Focus on these 90 days. Being intentional with my family and improvement. 2) - Exercise at least 10 min a day 3) - Digital Detox a) No youtube, where I binge and scroll a ton. This may be more of a problem then gaming for me during this time in my life. b) No phone. I will leave it plugged in in the kitchen at home. I'll listen only to audiobooks when on the road or walking/jogging. c) No browsing randomly on the internet. Even this website or anything "good." The idea is to be more physically present with my family, real books, outside in nature. d) No Podcasts. Period. This is like YouTube for me. e) No thinking about gaming. No twitch or YouTube or strategy guides. No "I can't game myself so I'll watch others and enjoy it." This always gets me back into gaming. Dopamine and relaxation will come from real experiences. Spiritual, physical, and relational. Here we go!
  18. Day 6: another fail. I was on a dumb phone for a while. I recently switched back to a smart phone again. It is helpful with work and texting and the like... but, it is another level of distraction. I need to make this detox more of a priority. I have to recognize how this is messing up who I want to be and what I want to do... argh!
  19. Day 5: Failed the last three days. Argh! Cam, I think the videos are serving some sort of purpose. Novelty, excitement, newness, a laugh, intellectual input, rest, relax (I usually go to a certain spot on my coach or on my bed to rest), get away from people (I'm an introvert in a people-oriented field), "learn" or hear something new, ... I think those are some of the reasons I do this. Now, I think the next question you might ask would be, "What can you do to fulfill those real needs/felt needs with something else?" I really need to think about that. Reading, naps, playing an instrument... I think this is key because even though I sort of want more information from these videos or novelty, I think it can also be detrimental because my mind and being really needs more rest. I have plenty of stuff to decompress... maybe I need to decompress differently. Maybe I could try writing things down in a journal and rest that way. Then the problems and issues aren't just swirling up there and I'm not just trying to escape from them. That might be a healthy and fun way to rest. I will try that. When I feel like watching some videos... I'll write. Second, if writing ain't doing it, I will read. Third, I will play an instrument. Is any of this making any sense?
  20. Day 2: the struggle is real! Last night I read a book instead and went to bed much earlier than normal. Normal bedtime was creeping into 11pm range... too late! Last night I fell asleep around 930pm. Much better! After work or during a break from work I'll usually snuggle into Youtube or something. Today, I'm working instead. Right now I am working on a coaching certification. I really do talk myself into being "Tired" and that I "need to rest." I have a little more desire than even yesterday. Good starts!
  21. Hi all, I completed the detox for video games about six months ago. Since then, the lure back into video games has stayed more or less at bay. Now though, a second head of the hydra has remained high for some time: videos (Youtube mostly). I mindlessly consume these. When I am stressed or trying to relax... I watch videos. I search for more of them. It feels good initially to watch some video on some topic... but 20-30 minutes, 1 hour later... mind numbing and energy sucking. Day 1: no more videos. I need to detox from this like I detoxed from video games, twitch.tv, etc. I am not going to watch movies, tv, Youtube, espn, news, etc. I know that if I allow an exception I will over consume that. I can survive without videos... people did for a very long time. My hope is I will instead rest in reading, prayer, conversation, working out, take a nap, etc. Wish me luck!
  22. Day 126. Starting to trim down some things. I need to focus on fewer things. Master a few things. Studying Greek is really important to me personally. Reading great literature is as well. Setting aside time for deep thought on a regular basis for my work is also key. Chess -in-person, OTB, is a great side thing to take my mind off of the above, but I still need a plan to stick to. I played at the Jewish Community Center which has an active club every Wednesday night. I met a few good guys and played some great slow games. I look forward to playing more regularly there and improving at the game. Family relationships Spending quality time with my family at meals and in front of the fireplace are key. We spend considerable time outside together once a week. This is going pretty well. Settling in after 18 days in the hospital! Thankful that we are home!
  23. Day 124: no Video Games Day 1 (again): no internet Day 2: no added-sugar/eating late at night Well, the internet is destroying me. It is much harder than I thought to not view a Youtube video of comedy, or watch a chess lecture, etc. I think I may need a detox from it... Not sure how to do that well. Sometimes I need to go online and do some work... then, I get sucked into mindless wanderings. This is a common issue I'm sure. How have you guys dealt with this? It is different than no video game detox. Kind of, right? How do you attack this one Cam? PS. I really liked the video on Youtube about chess yesterday. I think that is a big part of the answer to my question... being okay with myself when nothing is urgent. Making a plan. Doing what I need to do. Take productive breaks. etc. Help!
  24. Day 122: no Video Games Detox Day 1: no Internet/TV/Youtube & added-Sugar Last night I felt awful. I was eating a bunch of kettle korn and watching some shows with my wife. We finally had some time with each other. I enjoyed it. Until... I couldn't sleep until 2am because I was feeling warm, headache, foggy... I think from sugar! Yikes! My body isn't used to it. I want to keep it that way. So, 2017 is going to be a new year of discipline. No surfing the internet, no TV shows, no Youtube. And, no added-sugar. An apple or something is fine. Starting a new challenge because I need it. I haven't played video games or looked them up on Youtube or looked at streams in some time. But, the second head of the internet hydra has merely replaced that one. Time to slay that nasty being in me and live a life of discipline this year like I truly want to. Wish me luck! I'll post on how that is going daily. This is the next challenge for me.
  25. I saw a pyramid that turns this one upside-down. Our greatest needs are philosophically defined, pursuing what is good, beautiful, and true. That is what makes us human. It is true we can't do that unless our basic needs are met, but how much are we truly thinking about pursuing food, clothing, etc. in our modern age. Well, I hope not too much. Those things are taken care of more easily than ever before. We have so much more time to pursue works of wonder... but distractions are so well-done we easily give our whole minds and souls to games. May we seek first the best things and leave behind the worthless ones.