D_Cozy

2023-07-28 It's my last day of work today before taking 2-weeks off, so I wrapped up everything I needed to do and handed it off to a more senior engineer. Sucks about one of my projects getting delayed still, but ah well; it's in good hands if it resumes while I'm out, and given the scope of the work I'm sure there will be things left for me to do even after 2 weeks. I reduced my phone time by quite a bit today, only 3h and 7m. Much better, though I managed to rack up 1h 24m on my browser. Better than yesterday, that's for sure, but still. More than 1h of that time was scrolling (only ~10m was planning my trip with my wife if I'm being honest). I can do better, and I'm going to make sure that I keep my phone away during my vacation; something that I've found helps me is putting music on my phone, it's like my brain assumes my phone is busy playing music so I shouldn't use it. I'll have to explore this a lot more. Coincidentally, I would love music recommendations; I tend to go for more ambient and instrumental music, I've noted. I'm part of a returnity group for work, which is an employee group that provides new parents with parenting resources and gives them guidance on parenting topics. As far as I can tell, we're the only group with a bunch of dads or dads-to-be lol 😄 So it's a good time. Today we were talking about balancing family time with work; video games came up, but the discussion was very insightful. Some of them brought up the punishment mechanics that came out of mobile and how they are bleeding into new games, including some recently released ones for pcs. Some even mentioned how those games tend to be the biggest red flags to avoid as a parent. Well, they don't have to tell me twice! I managed to contribute a fair bit to that conversation, from my perspective of being unhooked from mobile games. Dinner tonight was broccoli stuffed chicken with some jasmine rice. Fairly quick dinner to make, specially with a rice cooker. The weather was awful outside tonight, so we stayed in playing with some blocks with the kids, and watching a Jurassic Park show on netflix. Had a surprise visit from my in-laws, they came to say hi to the kids before they left for a trip of their own. What I'm grateful for Seeing progress. I definitely felt a lot more productive at work. I don't want to get complacent though, I want to keep this up during my vacation. I'm thinking of getting busy by selling / donating, we're reaching a point where our storage room is stuffed with things we never look at. So that should keep me busy for a week before going on a trip the 2nd week. What I'm looking forward to I'm actually excited to clean my living space. It should also help keep my mind clear once I do get back to work.

Thanks! One of the online alliance mates I have there who still is quite active told me that "the game schedule keeps getting more and more packed." I'm not sure if he was trying to convince me to come back or not with that, but that's what got me conversing with him since that was the turning point for why I actually quit; all the "exciting" new events and content they kept dripping were keeping me way too occupied with my phone screen and away from being the person I wanted to be. I reinforced my stance at least. But I'm probably not going to go back to the forum again; I'd delete my account if they didn't make it such a pain to do that.

2023-07-27 Dinner today was delicious. I wish my kids would agree lol; asparagus and basil leaves really turned them off it, but then again how many kids like green veggies before preschool age. Anyways, it turned great. I put more lemon juice than I usually do, and it tasted very refreshing. If anyone wants to give it a try, here is the link where I got it from. I doubled the amount of lemon juice myself and that made it taste better, in my opinion. Biggest downside is that the asparagus makes your pee smell really bad haha, but a very healthy and surprisingly filling dish; 4 bowls of leftovers for tomorrow and weekend. I talked with my manager today, and she suggested finding a sweetspot on our code releases. Something I hadn't thought of up to this point, but she pointed out how we've been doing really large releases and so that can always make it harder to spot issues during reviews. So yeah that should really help, I am thinking. Still not fully caught up with work, but I am glad to say that I wasted no time today in my computer thanks to that extension. My phone on the other hand... oof. I definitely need to stop using it during my breaktimes; too easy to scroll on it and lose track of time too. I clocked at 5h and 13m total today, bout half of which was Duo Lingo practice, the recipe for dinner, android auto, etc, but still... I know I could be more productive, I know what most of the other time was too (reading news and browsing around). I don't think I've been doing any better previous days either. Extensions don't work on phone browsers either for some reason, or not the ones I use anyways. I am open to suggestions here for limiting my time scrolling, without impacting actually productive uses of my phone... I did some coloring with kids today after work, watched them play after while I washed dishes, and then put them to bed reading them books. Gonna go to bed in 1h from now, so I'm gonna finish this post now. What I am grateful for: My kids and my family. They keep me strong and keep me wanting go be better for them every day. I told my wife too about my scrolling habits, and she is glad I'm being proactive about it. What I'm looking forward to: My best friend and his fiancé are coming down this Sunday to visit me and my family. We're gonna buy them dinner. I'm on vacation after tomorrow too. Another reason I wanted to start journaling and being more aware of my internet time... didn't want to waste most of my vacation time scrolling. Wife and I are planning a road trip (her idea).

Hello everyone, I detoxed myself from a mobile gaming addiction a few years ago (you can see my story on this thread). But yesterday, I recognized that I've been mindlessly scrolling through websites to cope with difficulty more often than I'd like. So I decided to start journaling here; I want to avoid relapsing into addiction again. My goals with this journal is to log my day, mark what I'm grateful for, something I'm looking forward to, and open to engagement and discussion. 2023-07-26 My usual morning routine is; wake up at 6am, get dressed, take ADHD medication + vitamins, make breakfast for my family, feed my dogs + cat, bring dogs out for a 20min walk while wife gets the kids dressed, get kids to daycare, drive back home and do a quick chore (folded laundry yesterday). I'll play the daily Wordle in the morning after that chore, then I start working from home at 9am. My profession is in software engineering. I had stayed up very late the previous day working until 9pm doing a code deployment. It was necessary because it involved bugfixes that were blocking functionality, but it still sucks. Sometimes that's the nature of software engineering roles, and I get that; the problem is that it has been happening more often recently, almost every week for me and other devs, so that is what really has culminated it into a big issue for the team. The other thing that has been frustrating is that one of my projects is really stalling, today I got a notice from someone I needed info from that they won't have time to do it tomorrow (even though I sent a meeting invite a week ago). Going through a rough patch right now basically. That leads me into my mindless browsing. I started to crave going back to a gacha game I used to play a lot. They come usually during stress, and I'm used to brushing the urge away by now when it comes by distracting myself with mindless browsing... which is not productive at all, but I always justified as better than wasting 8h playing a game. Today though, I went back to the forum of the gacha game I had been addicted to years ago... that was a mistake. I spent a fair amount of time scrolling through the forum, most of my lunchtime + another 3 hours on top of that. It was the biggest waste of time yet... no other way around it. Naturally I fell behind on one of my tasks at work, and it sucks. Today I've decided to avoid mindless scrolling. After work, another usual routine; feed my dogs + cat, bring dogs out, I do some chores (cleaned my laundry room which was driving me nuts), eat dinner with family, spend time with kids until 7pm, then get them ready for bed. After they were in bed, I wrote this journal entry which was a new thing, did my French practice in Duolingo, and read 2 and half chapters of Dracula before bed. Moving forward I'm planning to keep the journaling habit at night - btw I'm glad this forum has a "dark mode" theme, it's a lot easier on the eyes approaching bedtime. What I am grateful for I am glad to have realized how easy it is to lose time browsing the net and am glad to recognize it as something I need to work on. I will have more and more stress as I get more senior at my job, and will need better mechanisms moving forward besides internet scrolling as my days get busier with increased responsibilities. Looking forward to I am planning to talk with my manager about the stressors at work today, cuz myself and other devs should not keep doing frequent late nights fixing things. I installed a browser extension called "StayFocusd" and set up a list of distracting websites on it. I set the "time allowed" for those websites to 0min on weekdays between 9am - 5pm. Should really help moving forward to avoid mindless browsing; but I'm open to suggestions on what I can do instead during that moment. Dinner is on me to cook next, I'll be making a lemony orzo pasta with asparagus. Cooking has been something I've found to be very rewarding since detoxing, and I'm excited to try this recipe again; it's something I've done in the past before, but I'll be trying it with basil garnish this time.

+1 to informing your family and friends. In regards to friends, this is actually what really helped me identify who my real friends really were; the ones who were understanding of me quitting are the ones who I still talk and hang out with. Those are the friends who understood that I wanted to have a more balanced lifestyle, they joined me on different interests I had in life and even introduced me to new hobbies too; some which I ended up really liking (fishing is surprisingly fun!) and some which I clearly didn't enjoy much but still grateful to have tried (I'm a terrible car mechanic lol). Variety is the spice of life, and it can't hurt to try new activities 🙂 I did lose some online friends that just wanted me to join them for raids and alliance objectives, but it was necessary; because I couldn't keep talking with them about the game I was trying to avoid playing. It will suck, but you'll be grateful for the friends who do stick around, because you'll find you'll get to know them better beyond just gaming as a mutual interest.

Congrats on recognizing that you need to stop playing to keep moving forward with your goals 🙂 I couldn't imagine going back to an online multiplayer game at this point myself either, it'd be a disaster waiting to happen.

I very strongly associate with you here. For me it was a gacha game on mobile. Even though I had a family and a decent job at the time, I still was not reaching my full potential; I was stagnating in my knowledge and growth of my field, and I had basically no IRL friends that I spent time with. As soon as I cut gaming out and started my detox, I got a much more fulfilling job at a start-up and I became a more present father and husband. I hit a point where I was happy with myself and with my life; and only then was I able to evaluate whether I wanted to keep playing in moderation. I did eventually choose to play in moderation, after detoxing and getting my life in a better place; but I cut gacha mobile games out completely, and I stay away from pretty much any predatory games with similar mechanics that are triggering for me. In my experience, playing in moderation means not playing everything, and that includes avoiding games that I developed problematic behavior towards; be ready to accept that you might have to do the same thing with this ww2 simulator and similar games in your case. As scary as that might sound now, there's plenty of other kinds of entertainment out there, in other games and in other ways too. If you want some reassurance, I personally think you're approaching this the right way. Before you can even think of playing games, you have to be in a good mental spot; you have to truly be happy with yourself and where you're at. That looks different for everybody. The detox helped me a lot with that, because it gave me time to build better habits, find joy in other things that I used to enjoy doing, forge stronger relationships with my family, and apply for a better job. I think you will find similarly that it will help you set your priorities straight. Por cierto, my primer idoma es español, si quieres podemos platicar en linea, si a caso quieres alguien con quien practicar 🙂 I am fluent in both Spanish and English; en ce moment, j'etudie le français avec Duolingo et je parle français avec mon femme pour pratiquer. I'd really recommend Duolingo if you haven't tried it for learning Spanish. Great app that uses a lot of the same techniques video games use to keep you coming back; with the key difference that it gets us doing something productive with our time (learning a new language).

Yeah, modern game design is all about piling activities for the player to do. Can confirm as a computer science major that this is very much what they teach too... Open world games in particular will litter their UI with objective markers for that reason, their maps are a chock full of "points of interest" basically to ensure that you are always moving to the next objective. But all of the content just feels so shallow as a result of having to use algorithms rather than human effort to create so much of the content in a reasonable timeframe. There are exceptions, sure, but they're only exceptions. Honestly even with self-discipline, I don't think playing games designed by corporate machines over human ingenuity and artistic visions is worth it to begin with. It's like arguing that a movie is better just because it's 10h long, or that a book is better because it has 2000 pages; can you imagine? None of that flies with other entertainment media, and yet games can get away with the "infinite gameplay" and "bigger is better" fallacies because of their addictive design.

Hey James, I have ADHD and can be an impulsive person due to that. Another +1 from me for seeking help from a therapist; mine helped me develop a priority list, strategies to manage my impulses, and strategies to maintain focus on what I'm currently doing. These are strategies and habits that I practice every day too, on top of already being medicated. I'm not saying that you have ADHD either, but I'm just telling you that in my case, where it's very difficult for me to focus due to the disorder, seeing a therapist really helped me develop strategies so I wouldn't live by my impulses.

This is me as well. Quit playing gacha games about 3 years ago and am for the better now. The detox from them gave me a new perspective on how I wanted to spend my time, and what I wanted to do with my life. It gave me a chance to apply at another company that I found more fulfilling than the one I was working for before. I rediscovered hobbies that I had once enjoyed - such as reading, writing, board games - and I also got to spend more time with family. Overall, I analyzed how I could improve my quality of life, and I came out a much more fulfilled individual. In the case of playing in moderation, I came to that decision after the end of my detox, when I was in a much fresher state of mind to think of how I consume media. I actually quit with the intention of not playing any game ever again; I only analyzed that playing was still okay for me as I pinned down that the problem for me were specific types of games, rather than all games as a whole. I still default to calling it a "Gacha addiction" but really it's more of a "predatory game design" addiction for me, which is a bit difficult to explain in a few short paragraphs, and which I have to call it as that now because a lot of console and even single-player games are implementing the same predatory mechanics that used to be exclusive to Gacha games just a few years back. As I've spent more time reading through the articles in Game Quitters and reading past topics here, it's also possible that I may not have been fully addicted to gaming as a whole to begin with, but maybe more obsessed with gaming. Still, I was not at a good place when all I did was play phone games, and I still get a very strong urge to go back if I think about the Gacha games I used to play for too long - my whole back tenses up and my arms get tense, my heart pounds and I get very worked up when I think of the puzzle-matching mechanics from Empires & Puzzles and the constant Poke-stop spinning I used to do. It's almost like my body is reminding me of why I shouldn't go back them moment the thought hovers too long, and I calm down after I reject it out of instinct. Essentially I also did the same as you Joesulc, I made a list of games that I identified as problematic. I also defined "what do games mean for me" which is what also helped me change the types of games I play too. Personally, I still see video games as a form of art. When I define art, I define it as something that can be observed, consumed, analyzed, and critiqued. Thus, I play in moderation because I want to engage with it as well, not just while playing, but also after playing to think about it and discuss it - with my wife and friends, for example. I play video games as one of my hobbies for the same reasons I also read books and watch TV shows as some of my other hobbies; to be entertained, to expand my perspectives, and to get new viewpoints. This does mean that now, I tend to go for games that will provide me with a narrative or gameplay vision, over games that are more focused on spectacle and creating a show. I do make an exception for multiplayer games if and only if I am playing them with IRL friends, and preferably games that promote local multiplayer over online too. Real life friendships are my priority now, over online only friendships. I do stay away from any Gacha, live service, battle pass, grindathon, etcetera infested game. The summoning portals, lootboxes, daily challenges/quests and rewards, season pass subscriptions, excessive grinding for resources and cosmetics, slowly dripped content - among their multi-tabbed menus with tons of pop-ups that remind me of how casinos are designed to purposely be very confusing to navigate, to keep their guests in as long as possible - don't exist to elevate the narrative or the gameplay at all. They simply exist to prolong the game and keep you around, because it's exciting to spin the slot machine to see what you'll get and keep watching numbers go up. Games which emphasize these mechanics are the ones I avoid, because they are emphasized for the sake of continuing to update, prolong and drag out your time playing the game; not because they boost the artistic value of the narrative or gameplay vision. These games for me are not games as art, and so I avoid them because they don't fit my definition of how I think of games now. It also means I am a lot more picky about what I play, but there is nothing wrong with defining your own high standards. Call me a tight-arse if you want 🙂 I stand by this, doesn't mean you have to, it's just my perspective. But anyways, what has really helped me in summary has been: doing the detox to get my life together first, reshaping my approach on video games (and media in general), and identifying the problematic types of games and mechanics to stay away from Other things that I didn't note above, but also help me keep gaming as a hobby include: Setting screen time limits and bedtime reminders 1h before going to bed (parental controls in consoles help enforce them) I stick to 2h a day on weekends, barely an hour (if any) during weekdays Making peace with not playing everything, ignoring trailer hype even in my "non-problematic" game types, not everything out there is worth playing; some games are simply better than others, facts. I rarely check summer or boxing day sales now cuz of that too, because I know I probably won't play whatever I get right away anyways and often it could just be an inferior experience to something I've already enjoyed. Good mindset to have for not wasting my time and money. Listening to my body and health no playing if I'm tired or if not in a good mental space, it's not fun anyways and ignores the way I'm feeling rather than addressing it Hey Amphibian, I greatly recommend reading Death by Video Game, an excellent book by Simon Parkin. It's one of the most insightful books on the subject I've read myself; he covers tragic deaths of people who died playing video games, the success some players have found in video games with a sense of discovery and belonging, along with others who have escaped and used games to hide after traumatic events. It's not going to give you a clear cut answer on why video games are played, but it's going to give you several viewpoints to consider. From the preface, these are the questions he explores:

Hi David! I went through gacha gaming addiction a few years back, and taking that first step to stop staring at my phone and committing for 90 days was tough. I found it helpful on my end to start by cutting back in doses before fully committing to the detox; I went from 8h a day to 5h day, then less and less. I filled in the other time I had gained back with other activities or responsibilities; in addition to the hobby tool recommended by Daniel, I also recommend making a list of daily responsibilities you can do each day, and scheduling them to repeat each week. Start with small things like making the bed, cleaning your washroom on a weekly basis, etc that can become a regular part of your routine. I also took the opportunity to schedule some quality time with my family, I recommend looking for any nearby parks or trails that you can all go for a walk on together as an example. Doesn't have to cost you money to be fun and fulfilling. In regards to cutting back gaming, I found setting screen time limit apps was very helpful to take that first step and enforce it. For me, this was a necessary first step, as I had failed repeatedly to quit cold turkey (for 3 months straight), and so I had to bring myself down from the high slowly. The good news is that pretty much any modern platform has some kind of Parental Controls that can help you enforce limits. Since you also have kids, depending on their age, this might be something you'll want to consider even if you plan on fully quitting yourself.

Hello everyone, you can call me Cozy. I recently discovered Cam's videos through Youtube recommendations; wish I would've seen them much sooner! I am a former Gacha game addict, spent about 2.5 years from May 2018 to November 2020 playing only gacha games on my phone, mostly Empires and Puzzles. I would play this game on my phone every day, ignoring and pushing away my friends, my family (including my wife and baby boy at the time), I would schedule my life around the in-game events and daily login rewards, staying up way past midnight doing these events and quests. I didn't know it until recently watching GQ videos, but I was an addict, and I am glad I got help back then. 3 years ago today, I made the decision to quit playing Gacha games, when my wife advised me to track my screen time by apps on my phone. I discovered that day that I would play for 8 hours a day, minimum. I am here today a much better person; got a new and more satisfying job, now involved and present with my kids, and have restored some friendships with people I had previously pushed away. 2 years and 7 months ago, that's when I successfully stopped playing Gacha games. I joined today because I wanted to share my story, hoping that it would help those who are currently struggling; also because I want to stay vigilant about my kids habits when they inevitably start picking up controllers as they get older, being fully aware myself of how destructive bad gaming habits can be. You can read my whole story here on this thread I replied to earlier today 🙂

Hi Bite_size, this is a late reply, but I want to share my story as it may help you and others struggling with Gacha addiction. In my own experience as a former Gacha game addict, the best way to enjoy Gacha games is to not play them. For me, the game I got addicted to until I detoxed myself 2 years ago was Empires & Puzzles. I would play this game on my phone every day, ignoring my friends, my family (including my wife and baby boy at the time), I would schedule my life around the in-game events and daily login rewards, staying up way past midnight doing these events and quests. My attention at best was split between the game auto-battling and what I was supposed to be doing. I even pushed away my friends who are gamers themselves, I remember getting mad at one of them because they wanted to play Smash Bros with me and I didn't feel like it, I just wanted to play my phone game. Imagine that! Rejecting offers to play other video games! That's how addicted I was; if I had taken the Game Quitters quiz then, I would've easily scored on everything. I didn't spend a lot of money thankfully; over ~3 years I only spent around $300 CAD, which is still a lot of money but sadly impressive compared to other horror stories I'd hear. I did however, spend a ton of time grinding out resources, 8h a day at least to be specific; that's how gacha games work, you either pay up to skip the grind or you spend your time grinding. And it wasn't a bad game either, the core gameplay loop (flow state) is very well designed. It's a match 3 puzzle game with RPG elements, where your color matches correspond to specific colored heroes damage values, so there's strategy and skill elements there too. I also felt at the time that I had a responsibility to the game, to my alliance members in game, and to my base. So I know how you feel when you talk about investing a lot and feeling the need to keep going, as well as connecting with friends in game. But if you are feeling the way you are feeling, it sounds like you are on your way to making this Gacha game part of your routine, if it already isn't. A video game is entertainment media, plain and simple, something you play for fun; not something you should feel responsibility towards. When seeking to consume video games (and media in general), I am of the opinion that they should entertain AND engage you by providing an immersive experience. What I mean by that with video games specifically (and this is just my opinion too): Narrative - stimulating your mind and inducing emotions. Playing the game to find out what happens at the end, or learn more about its fictional world and themes, or find out what will happen to the characters you like or relate to. Challenge - skill or intelligence to conquer a task or logic puzzle. Whether through developing your character with knowledge and resources to triumph over adversity, or developing your reflexes and muscle memory and get skillful enough to overcome the challenge. Sensory satisfaction - the visual and auditory appeal. Audio cues like opening a chest in Zelda games, or the level up effect in RPGs. Or game mechanics that are simply fun, like swinging on a hookshot. This is where Skinner's Box operant conditioning also falls under; opening a lootbox, grinding up big numbers, predetermined action setpieces with a lot of spectacle... all these simply exist for the sake of appeal, which is fine when it's balanced with the other two points above, but not fine when it's the sole or major focus. Gacha games - and a majority of modern big budget AAA games too in fact - are fully concerned with solely providing entertainment, primarily through sensory satisfaction; the cathartic feeling you get when opening a lootbox, summoning a hero, grinding up big stat numbers and resources... all these simply exist for the sake of entertainment, not for engagement. They might have a narrative and they might present some kind of challenge (or the illusion of challenge at least), but they are simply means to an end for them. Because at the end of the day, they want to pull you in so that you eventually spend money or at least spend every day with them generating ad-revenue (or similar). Quitting was very hard for me. At the time I did not know about Game Quitters, I have just recently discovered them in fact. I did get help though; encouragement from my wife, and a professional behavioral psychologist. My wife is amazing, bless her I'm very lucky, she really stuck with me and supported me through that awful time. On her advice, I enabled the screen time tracking app on my phone to really get an idea of how much I play. That's when I realized just how many hours I would spend on my phone; 8h a day at least. So I enabled a time limit, starting with 5h a day. Then when that worked, I went down to 3h a day. If the gacha game you play has an alliance with teammates, I recommend you let them know that you are cutting back on the time you play if this is how you'd rather start. This was only step 1 for me though, as I got really bad cravings as the time I could play got shorter and shorter. This is when I looked for professional help, and landed with a behavioral psychologist. She helped me with a 90-day detox plan; I developed strategies to keep my focus on what I was doing at the time, and tried other activities to fill the time with. Ultimately she got me to the point where I quit for good. During my 90-day detox, I evaluated whether I really wanted to keep playing E&P. As soon as I quit, I felt like I had a lot more free time. I started reading again, I piled up a list of books for those past 3 years that I started tackling. I applied to a new job, one which filled me with much more satisfaction than the one I had during that dark time. I did my best to apologize and connect again with friends that I had pushed away; some were more forgiving than others. Most importantly, I started spending more time with my family; I really missed out on the infant stage for my first-born, something I will forever regret for the rest of my life, but I got a 2nd chance with my younger kid and now will get a 3rd chance with a new one on the way. And I can be there for all the special moments of all my kids now, present without worrying about missing a daily quest log or an alliance war. In case you are curious, I do still play video games myself in moderation. That's something I worked on after my detox, as I found I can enjoy single player games and couch multiplayer games with friends as a hobby and as a social activity. The main difference is I find myself having fun playing those games on my own terms and schedule, rather than feeling a sense of responsibility to play them. I do stay away from Gacha games, or games as a service, grindathons, or any game that emphasizes sensory satisfaction over story and gameplay; in my case, it's those games that I found myself prone to being addicted to. That's my personal situation though, yours might differ. In conclusion; quitting that Gacha game was the best thing I did for myself, and I do not seek out or miss playing them at all.