Faroe Islander

Thank you a lot for the advice, I'll try to manage through college at least the best I can I'm almost finished with its hardest part (at least I hope so) Now I just have to be careful with my parents they are very pushy with uni grades in particular, they have a strong believe in those being the most important part about college and have talked to me about focussing more on them and cutting a bit the extracurricular activities Right now I'll see what to do since I really don't want to cut down on them though the time that would give me would be nice and about the not working on an engineering job I still have to wrap my head around it. I knew that my future would probably envolve some variation in jobs, companies and maybe different roles within them but working on a completely different field still seems like a bizarre notion/concept

Props to that, congratulations on making it so far and hope you keep going strong

Thank you for listening and offering advice. I had never seen boredom in that way, to me it just seemed like either an indication that I'm not working or a moment to reflect on my situation and make new plans. It just seemed like if you where bored and you weren't sleeping or planning you where wasting time. I will try it today, I already did exercise but the though of just sitting and letting a little bit of time pass to rest is something I have to try. On the topic of feeling lost it could be a matter of the early adult's transition, family is good (for now), diet is fine, sport is being done, love I've been unlucky with but I have more or less managed it and I want to wait a bit before going back in, discussing it with close friends and making my mind up about when I want to try again and what that would imply/risk... Finally the carear is somewhat ok I'm starting to have hunches about what specialty I want to go into but don't have lots of formation/opportunities for it with the subjects, I mostly have to rely on extra curricular activities (groups, competitions, conferences...) to learn/get into that world a bit. I still haven't figured these ones out and sometimes catch myself thinking about the end of the activities in a bad way (like I'm having fun with this team at the uni, but what will happen when they leave next year, how will I adapt and continue, they were a big reason why I was in and why the experience was enjoyable despite the hardships...) Right now the biggest problem could those last 2 together with be not knowing how to say no, choosing and then fully committing to the decision and as a result getting overwhelmed by the possibilities and responsibilities. The cravings can be somewhat dealt with, and my relationship with music, is a bit vague but mostly a matter of a bit of self control and overall healthier that videos. I don't know. Today I will sit down for an hour or so to think them through a bit and try to give you a better answer.

Figure out what you would want your life to look like, what the current benefits or negatives would be to staying like you are or changing , what habits you would need to get there and getting support from close ones (family, friends, someone you trust) spending time outside of where you normally are just thinking about life and this journey you are about to undertake and then if you decide to continue forward searching for some info on strategies, but the general will and understanding of what you are getting yourself into and why should be clear, the tactics can vary but the strategy has to be clear

I would advise for you to check apps that restrict access to the internet for me the best app I have ever found is could-turkey blocker since it helps me focus easier on the computer

Sorry for the wall of text, I tried to get it out of me and make an opinion but ended up just making an incomprehensible message, I guess that the summary would be as follows: 1-When I'm bored 2-And most importantly when I'm feeling lost and overwhelmed, which right now is a lot of the time 3-When I'm in a rout/defeatist mood 4-Feeling of lack of progress 5-Having notions of having lots of things that I want to do but having to constrain myself I guess that's more or less it, it mostly comes from not being able to properly cope with the amount of tasks responsibilities and feeling of little progress in regards to getting them done, specially when I start comparing myself with how I think other people that don't have these extra curricular activities (competitions) are doing.

The thing is that I don't know for sure, it sure is a good question. Right know my theory is that it is mostly a way to escape reality and responsibilities, it often happens either when I'm bored semi depressed / frustrated or when I feel like I have a lot of stuff to do and I'm overwhelmed. These last year I have been able to enter lots of competitions with a group of friends from uni and be entertained with that while working on the different projects of each competition. These has been lots of fun and kept me occupied but even then I still had some impulses to go back to the internet when I felt like I couldn't do much or felt a state of semi abstinence. It has left me with significantly less time to study which has made it more confusing to focus and stay in afloat, I have kind of lost track of some habits and I'm in the process of rebuilding maybe that was part of it since last year I didn't have all of this, didn't have as much fun or experiences but the routine was kind of reassuring and lived in a more organized place (now I live together with a friend). Right now I just have little hunches and short term goals about where more or less I want to go (6 months) like what activities I want to do, courses/things I want to learn, habits I want to keep, I'm just trying to survive and keep things from collapsing, which I don't even know if I'm doing right. I don't know it kind of feels like being lost, not noticing too much change on a daily/weekly or even monthly basis and going through as if I were under constant siege by bad habits, responsibilities and work without a guaranty of a clear path/improvement I don't know, in summary I would say that it is a response to sometimes feeling like I'm treading water, like I sometimes don't respect/believe in myself (keeping promises/habits/daily goals) and the inability to control on the long term the possibility of just sinking back into a bit of a rout with the internet as its catalyst to keep me inside the house/constantly listening to something until I get a head ache, back pain and snap one night going out and starting to do things semi right for some weeks

thanks a lot Paul I always try to keep it up even when I slip up It is more a problem of committing fully and not believing in the final goal, I most of the time can't fully see myself being able to quit with so many slip ups, I want to get to the end and start doing well, I need the extra time but find it hard to push past the 3rd day. Right now it is true that with the events there has been an overall improvement in amount of time spent but it isn't enough.

Moving, kind of had lots of good stuff happening to me in the last days, mostly to do with social activities in uni I just find myself sometimes struggling to quit games and relapsing every 3-4 days or so now I'm in a place where I somewhat know what I want but find it hard to actually get it done. I need the time that I would gain from quitting videos but also find the lack of entertainment and the little interactions with "o just one more" absolutely excruciating. Today I'm trying the new blocker that also works on apps so that's good Let's see what tomorrow holds in store for me. today I just want to keep building back up accountability systems and routines

Lost the plot a bit over the weekend, I hope to regain it over the upcoming workdays which are the times where I usually perform best. Now I'm going to focus on trying to get as much as I can out of the time I still have left today a win is a win no matter how small and this last 7 days have been some of my best, now I got to focus on turning them into sustainable habits for long term success

Good luck to you on your endeavours, we will try to help when possible

Pretty good weekend overall, much better than previous ones, separating workplaces from places for recreation, sleep... helped out a lot. Now what I have left to do is focus on getting the best out of the time I spent on something, lot's of time have I been doing things halfway, whether they are recreation or studying (eg: while listening to music) I need to change this and keep working on a healthy time schedule as maybe my distribution (specially with social aspects), is too unbalanced more time is needed. Will continue, tomorrow I will focus on getting 2h of really concentrated work in the afternoon instead of a bunch of half attempts/time where I'm doing stuff but only half way. I need to deal with social media as well, they are nice but too often have they gotten in my way.

Thanks a lot @Ikar , I'll keep working on it, things are improving a bit but I still have a lot of work to do in order to properly be able to gauge how much time is enough too little or too much.

12-17 feb Minor slip ups. main difference being they are limited in time (2h max) then I can pick myself back up. I have learned that forgiving yourself for committing mistakes and instead of talking yourself down, encouraging yourself to change, learn from the mistake and keep moving is necessary to quitting. Right now I'm going to keep investing time into studies and career related work since I like what I'm doing right now, it has value in the long term and is not likely to cause burnout. Apart from that I'll work on reintroducing and augmenting the amount of time I spend with sports and close non-internet friends

Thanks for getting back to me. Right now I'll continue trying to get activities to occupy myself. One last thing, I tend to overdo it a bit when scheduling my time for work, do you have any insight on how to keep a good work-free time balance and check if you are putting to much time on one of the too? Right now I'm studying and I like what we are learning in the lectures and application clases/courses so I can put a lot of time per day into it without many worries about burnout, but can you tell me a bit about how you decide on how much time you want/need to dedicate to the different aspects of your life?

Got the schedule with the psychologist done. Morning went well got stuck in the afternoon, shouldn't have brought my phone with me. There are several areas in my life, particularly in studies where I'm making progress but I still have a way to on controlling emotions and habits particularly when I'm down or spread out

Great plans honestly, glad you were able to organice yourself to get all those activities dine and take steps to change what bothered you about uni, hope it goes well PD: geography is a great way of explaining the world, you can also take a look at the behaviorist theory advocating for more of a focus on how societies interact with the geography vs the geography itself being the main driver of history.

Right now I'm in the 1st week of the second semester, there isn't much to do I mostly try to spend time with a research group and a group we students built to compete in a robotics event it is enough to keep me entertained and away from the pits of overthinking but I still have to develop other hobbies I feel like a zombie whenever I finish most activities/work I'm sure you will be able to it is a continuation of quitting gaming, for me I have had quite a lot of ups and downs, right now I'm in the mids of quitting and towards the nights I sometimes just feel completely apathetic and sometimes go to bed to early, my recommendation would be to talk to close friends and even your girlfriend about it and turn it into part of your identity the not watching porn together with the doing other other substitute activities instead of it Not really now, lately my close friends either have conflicting schedules with mine, are 1h+ drive away or are in the hospital/occupied with other serious things, only time I get to do sport with a friend is like 9:30-10:30 though I feel the need to include it more into the routine maybe at middays to destress and at night to actually have time, thanks for the input. One last question, when you quit games/social media Ikar how did you get though the days? I often find myself relapsing on small "slip ups" instead of big ones and when I quit I feel overwhelmed at least temporarily by thoughts or emotions. I have contacted my psychologist and next session I'll tell him about certain issues but I want to be able to attend while being on a streak of "sober days"

Had some ups and downs, currently on an upturn though. Managed to reduce videos to something that plays in the background when I'm doing mindless tasks. Working on reinforcing habits good progress for now

Mostly used music, progress

Tuesday Decided to pursue one of my hobbies Spent most of the day meeting people and getting work done, relied a lot on music overall, need to get the momentum to also leave it as I know that I'm just stalling with it and using it to cope thereby just elongating the process. Still have some time left today, to avoid stalling forever I'll commit to also leaving music behind today at 11PM

Monday Spent most of the day doing house chores but staying inside ended up hurting me long term

Day 2 done, ups and downs, couldn't focus much on studies, managed to at least go outside instead of staying indoors with the phone all day long, main thing to focus on -> being more conscious throughout the day, I notice I have moments where I just slip or don't pay attention to what I'm doing, this has to change at least a little bit if I don't want to repeat the same mistakes and end up spending a whole day listening to music or watching videos. What is good is that at least now that I took out the internet I'm starting to think and feel a lot more, I don't bottle them up, and even though this means that I can sometimes be a lot more distracted emotional or have moments where the mind just goes too quick and overwhelms me with thoughts and feelings it is something that also helps me finally move forward and feel alive. Today is a new day I started off well in terms of energy and time (finally managed to say no to bedsheets and go to the desk to work) and I look forward to making it one of my best in the whole week, a stepping stone towards what is to come in terms of habits

1st day done, yesterday I had a lot of trouble concentrating in the afternoon and I had to resort to going for long walks journaling and laying down to let my brain calm down so I only managed to do wok in the morning. Today I will focus on catching back up in the morning and afternoon then going for a bit of exercise and the list of reasons why I wanted to quit games

Day 1 Few distractions Designed schedule as psychologist instructed, waiting to see if it seems acceptable or if it needs changes. Right now I'm going to focus on implementing it (at least showing up to the places at the right time). For tonight/tomorrow -> recover list of reasons why I wanted to quit games.