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Captain_Pilz

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Posts posted by Captain_Pilz

  1. Hi, 

    my name is David, I am a student and I have a gaming problem. This is my first time writing on this forum. However, I am not new to the idea of quitting gaming. Let me sum up my story.

    I have always been prone to compulsive behavior, I am an extremist, if you want to call it that way. In primary school, I got addicted to trading card games which I luckily got rid of with the help of my parents. About a year after I got into secondary school, I got more fascinated with games and started playing Minecraft which even got me into a friend group for the next years. Pretty soon, the hours I spent playing and watching YouTube increased- Although my parents told me I was out of control I felt like I was not. I would like to mention that I was not satisfied with my relationships and got bullied a lot. My psychologist advised me to start doing martial arts, which I did, with great results. 

    In tenth grade starts where a lot of the juice happened. I started developing better friendships, my grades were constantly great but I still procrastinated a lot. When I developed my first crush, I coincidentally got into personality development which, guys I tell you, changed quite a bit for me. However, I could not get myself to really grow. I consumed a lot, so much of it happened passively, and intense periods of productivity were followed by intense periods of gaming or watching YouTube. I even got an Xbox One and played Ark, Cities Skylines and (especially problematic) Overwatch on it. Minecraft still kept me going. I started worrying about addiction being responsible for my behavior and found Game Quitters. 

    A year has passed since then. I failed, I failed, I failed. Sometimes it would take me a little bit longer to relapse but I would eventually get back into games. In those periods, I would disregard friends and family. I would not do sports, continue my martial arts training, or practice playing the drums which is MY HOBBY. I love it and I am a total Jazz fanatic, I have won competitions and I meet awesome people. Outside of my gaming phases, I really make the best out of my life. I am healthier, I am reliable, I make progress. Last years summer academy I was in with some extremely intelligent people was the best time I ever had in my life. Also, often when I am at school, I am extremely happy and motivated. Then, once I come home all of it fades and I become lazy and sluggish again which means a lot of the time, I am actually living a double life. This is frustrating and I believe you know that. I am lying to my parents and I am pretending that I actually work hard at school. 

    I have relapsed so often now. I have decided to quit gaming for good because I just cannot do it in moderation. I am doing a YouTube and TV detox at the same time. These bad habits are my instant gratification replacements for gaming I do not want them to take control over my life because they already did recently (The former even yesterday). Furthermore, this step is crucial for my life. I want to study psychology and actually help people. I am fascinated by this subject. My A-Level-pre-exams literally start in two weeks and I need exceptional grades to achieve my dream. I just want to break free of the sin-graph my life is at the moment.

    For this, I need help. When I tried quitting gaming in the past I tried to keep it to my own, out of shame I guess. Admittedly, I have hidden a lot of my will to grow. Luckily, drumming and my parents and psychology always worked like anchors for me. But sadly they are not enough. I need to be honest with the world around me because I have realized that I cannot do this alone. I will definitely tell my parents. And my friends need to know (Actually, I have talked to one about my decision today. Even though he did not understand me and my issue at all because he knowingly (THIS WOULD KILL ME!) continues his bad habits, I am glad I did. ) Writing this little introduction to myself is the first public commitment I give to become a non-gamer.

     

    I am David, I am a student who has a gaming problem and I am quitting this sh*t! Tomorrow will be the my first day of me writing this journal and I am actually quite excited of what is coming even though the cravings may become intense. 

    PS: If you struggle with any addiction. Getting good grades and being good at your hobbies does not mean there is no problem!

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