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Realworlder
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Posts posted by Realworlder
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Don't worry, the side effects will definitely wore off but it might take some more time till all of them are gone. Good to hear that you are getting well with your supervisor now, let's hope it stays that way but if he seems okay it should be fine. It is hard to do anything when its too hot in the summer, but then I do like the summer as going out for a swim with friends is always a great fun. I feel you on the acne I had some break out over last few days too, I am pretty sure it was because my diet was shit and I had quite a bit of McDonalds and Dominos, it is already getting better now that I am back on good food. Good job on getting more clients. It is always hard to sleep when there is something stressful on our minds. I had a few nightmares about exams even though I have none, I think it is because I need to do a online quiz for my PhD application haha.
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On 2/6/2021 at 3:08 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
@RealworlderYeah I bet it's much better having the sun out. It must be freezing to get up in the winter and go running in the mornings. I have actually found a supervisor I'm working with now. All I am waiting for now is to get approved for supervision by my work site. Which looks like it'll actually happen in mid Feb because my notes are getting better according to my supervisor. Work is mad stressful. I'm in the proccess of trying to report the office admin for being a jerk to me now. Hopefully she gets a good reprimanding and cuts the crap. Yeah actually working for my mom isn't so great. She's a hard butt and she takes the work way too seriously and like gets on my case about it sometimes. But it's not so bad I do get paid well. Vaccine is about done being bad to me. Maybe a few more days and I'll be back at 100%
That's awesome news, let's see this supervision work out this time! Well it is not easy to work for parents but it is something to do I guess. Good to hear that you are feeling better after the vaccine. Being healthy and feeling that way is most important as everything else suck if you are not feeling good. It is really cold here atm but it should get warmer during weekend. However, I kinda like it though. It feels refreshing being outdoors when its this cold but I have not gone for run in this weather so I am not sure about that either. It might make breathing a lot harder but unless I go I won't know.
Sorry to hear about that mean coworker. Must be rough, but I would say that you mom has point on this one though. There is always going to be someone like that more or less. It might be better to try to deal with them than to switch to a different job immediately. Good job on pushing through the acne. Would be best if it resolved but sometimes there is no way around it. It might just get better with time too.
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On 1/28/2021 at 3:14 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
@RealworlderGetting up earlier isn't going to stick. I just felt super tired and unhappy all day. unfortunately. I haven't been able to find a supervisor I feel comfortable with because of my disease. I get stressed out lose feeling in my leg and get acne from connecting with pretty much everyone. I feel like I'm kind of screwed here. I think I'm gonna have to cancel on my current supervisor leaving me with no one and back to interviewing peoplke. My life is messed up. I don't even know if they're gonna approve me at my work and if they do I don't know if the new sup will work with me and I do'nt know if they'll even give me a sup. There's just a ton of uncertainty around whether or not I'm gonna be able to even move towards my license. And even once I get it I don't know if I'll be able to handle the work that comes with it because I tried before and failed terribly. Just trying to work with my current sup has got me all stressed out this past week and that's part of why I don't htink I can ccontinue working with her. You can probably tell I'm not doing well.
Sorry to hear that, it is not easy to get up earlier. I am glad that the sunrise is now earlier than it was in winter so I can go for workout earlier as I used to do during summer and that felt amazing, especially during sunrise. That must be difficult. But I am sure there is a supervisor out there that you will be able to work with! Sorry to hear all that, it sounds stressful. Having such a bad supervisor must be terrible.
Thats awesome that you worked out a side job with your mom. Good to hear that you have a bit better relationship now too. I usually help out with work with my dad and it is always a great way to bond a bit more. Sorry to hear that you were feeling so off after the vaccine. Well at least you got it done.
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Good job on getting up earlier! That is always a great achievement. Hopefully you will be able to function well on less sleep. That would be great to get some more time in the day. Getting it in a year and few months seems like some time but that will fly by and would be awesome if you manage to get it. Also being on the path towards it will the main thing that matters.
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Waffles sound amazing, well any syrup is going to be basically just sugar. But unless consumed in excess and constantly it is not that bad. Well as long as you provide your clients with the same amount of time as before they should be fine. How much free time do you think you will gain by doing this? Good luck on your interviews!
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It is important to find activities that you enjoy and relax you as well. I think I burned out a bit after last week. I am sorry to hear that the abilify didn't work so well. But even you have a shorter day, it is better for it to be stress free. As you said that's how it is with new things, that is always the risk haha. Also if you do not have too many reasons to move out I would say that it is not worth stressing about it too much and more so spending extra money on rent.
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I would definitely recommend it as that is something best to deal with as soon as possible. They should not have and spread diseases but it is still quite nasty problem. Thanks, that would be great to see both of us to achieve great things while avoiding gaming. There are still a lot of things that I would like to improve before the application but will see what I manage to achieve before I need to submit it. It always is a lot of effort. But then the easy way is never worth taking.
Getting extra three hours might not seem much but that is 21 hours in a week which is almost another day so I am hoping that it works for you! I am sure it will make you happier. I understand that it might be frustrating not seeing change with other meds that you have tried but something will. Let's pray that this is the one.
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Death note is truly a masterpiece. I got two coasters with it (black with Death Note in the specific font) from a friend for christmas which was very nice gift. They are pretty basic but I really like them, match with all the other black items in my room haha. I didn't know that, well good luck with the interviews. May something good come out of it. Hopefully I will manage to get the PhD, if not I will need to apply to some more. When my dog had fleas in the past the thing that helped the best was a special shampoo against them. Good to hear that the bomb worked though, must have been really annoying.
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For sure, well you did plan it out all the way to retirement so that will take time. But it's a great thing to have such a long road planned out. Yeah I agree, that sounds like the best way to do it. I am hoping too, would be great to get a move on with the application, but I still need to do my CV and Cover letter so I need to start working on it. I see the process, well good luck with it. That is true, you just need to wait and you might get the thumbs up this time.
Do you get fleas in the house usually in winter? That sucks man, I guess that the bomb should work. It is designed for that. How are you liking Death Note so far? The music is a bit different than in other anime but I think it is great, it just fits the whole theme perfectly. Especially L's theme when they are doing all the "mental chess" battles.
The main thing is that it is not worth having rage for other people. Best way is to deal with any problems coolheaded. Building up vengeance and hatred only leads to bitterness and resentment. It is not worth to sully your own soul like that.
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Having a clear idea for future is a great way to have something to work for. I realized that when I worked through the self authoring. It is good to use it as a compass to have a direction in which to move. But beware not to burn out too. No worries mate, whatever works for you. If you want to just reply here that is fine too. But we can post on both. Haha, that sounds good, although based on what is happening it might be hard to get petrol cars in few years but we shall see. Thanks, although I am still waiting for one referee to reply to my email if I can use him in my application, I am hoping to get a reply by Monday because I am cutting it pretty close to the deadline which is 27th of January. Does it depend only on her if you get to do the supervision? But as you said, you got some time to just work and then you will see. Do you best in the meantime and if it comes to that maybe you will be able to find a job with better boss.
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It is quite impressive how much further into the future you got things planned out. Although it might be less than what you expect as with more experience and once you get licensed you could make more money and thus reduce the overall time for it. But that is not a bad plan to have this kind of investment in mind with retirement. On top of that retiring when you are 60 is not bad, actually a lot sooner than lof of other people do I would say.
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On 12/4/2020 at 3:13 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:
@Marek Thanks bro. I can understand not having room for a tv. I was pretty happy with my 40" but then I saw how cheap tv's at walmart were and decided to upgrade. I've only gotten a few hours more towards licensure but I am earning 4 supervision hours a week now which is a ton. So as long as that continues and works out then I'll be finishing my supervision within a year which is like half the normal time. Now I just have to get the work hours in possibly through having 3 jobs that add up to 30 hours.
That is true. I would love to have a bigger place for myself. Essentially have at least one extra room that I could use as an office and then have bedroom or a common room with a tv to just have a chill time. Currently in shared house, just having a single room is bit hard for me to designate time to work/fun. On the topic of licensure ... that is awesome, I am happy for you that things are turning for the better. Well doing anything in half the time is no easy feat so keep it up!
The blinds are great, makes the contrast on screen much better. I find soundbars too expensive for what they offer tbh, they do look super cool. But any good speaker set will solve your issue. Moreover you can set them out to make your own home cinema. Thoughts about gaming are truly annoying but you are doing great so stay strong!
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Congratulations on 1 year without games buddy! That is amazing achievement! Keep up the good work. I am super happy for you.
The tv sounds awesome. I would love some bigger screen too, currently all I have is a small laptop screen haha. But well, there is not much space in my student accomodation. How is your progress towards licensure? Well if you get only few hours per job then maybe it might not be such an insane idea to get a fourth one. Either way good luck!
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All the best with the lowering of medication. It will be great if you can lower your sleep and still feel rested. I think that it might take some time for your sleep to get back to what it was before meds. But I am sure once the levels of meds in your body lower you will be able to sleep less too. What kind of tv shows are you trying these days?
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On 7/25/2020 at 5:03 PM, Erik2.0 said:
@Marek Haha, that hair wax. It's not easy to find products that work with us. So when we do it's kind of good to keep them around. My work is like that. It's a rare place where I actually feel relatively comfortable doing my job. So I'm holding onto my job and not looking for another one. 8 months is great. I'll probably make a celebrations post when I hit 9 months. Man. It feels like the days go slow. Maybe because I've got them on a counter I don't know. Maybe because game quitting is actually difficult. I'll see what I can do about finding running tutorials on breathing/form. That'd be cool if they help.
That is true, I have been using this one for quite a while, and I remember how happy I was when I found it because most of the others did not work well with my hair. Yet I still was interested in change. But no point doing that if it still works well. That is good to hear. I always like the saying, "Do what you like, and you won't have to work a single day in your life." It is hard to achieve it, but it is true considering how much time we spend working. I can only imagine how bad it must be for people that work in a job they hate. Oh really? I feel the opposite lately. The days seem to just fly by. I think it might be mainly because most of my days are quite similar due to routines and I am quite busy. For sure, give it a try, it did help me a lot.
Hopefully, the next cleanup helps with the smell; if not that sucks, I guess, but on the positive side, you can pick a carpet that you would like. How is the fasting working out for you so far? Sorry to hear about struggling with running, don't worry mate! You can get back into it, even if you go only once a week and then other days you just walk that I a huge improvement too. The cravings are rough. But remember how far you have got and there were worse times too which you have overcome so you can come out victorious this time too! Unfortunately, this year is not helping it, meeting people got so much more difficult, but I am sure you will find someone in time.
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On 7/23/2020 at 3:31 PM, Erik2.0 said:
@Marek Thanks. I'm supposed to lift this morning but felt too fatigued. I'm giving it a few hours before I go for it again. It's helpful to know that you had to push through too when you were starting out. As for the basement I think I might be happier with the recliner down there. I like how cold it is. I still might move my bed down there, but I'm not sure. Because the AC makes noise down there when it's running and I don't know if I could deal with that noise and still sleep. So I'm hoping to get like a cheap little folding mattress and test it out. Supposedly my mom has one. But almost for sure I'd like the recliner down there. I like that cold.
The beginnings are always the hardest, but with a little bit of consistency, everything is possible. I looked back at my first runs, and most of them were not much longer than one mile and even those, for the most part, I have not run in one go. I implemented a lot of walking into it too. If you remember, my habit was called walk/run. Well, it actually still is, but unless I go for a hike, I do not count walking much. I would recommend looking online at some videos on breathing and running form. They helped me a lot, and once I improved those things I was able to run for much longer. That is a good idea to test it out. The noise might not be as distracting, kinda like a white noise in the background. But unless you try you won't know.
Congratulations on the 8 months! That is amazing. Don't worry, we all have bad days once in a while. But that much better the next one can be. I know it is easy to say from an outside perspective (I know how grumpy I get when things do not get as I planned them out in a day), but still making tomorrow better than today is the best way to overcome it. I feel you with the face wash. It is always tempting new stuff but at the end of the day if it works no point changing it. I recently bought a new hair wax as the old ones run out. Two days later, I ordered the one that I used before haha.
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Good stuff! I go through so much water on these warmer days too. Not to mention if you add some exercise and running 64oz will seem like nothing haha. You will! It just takes time, but if you make a habit out of it, the results will come in no time. For me personally, the beginning was probably the biggest struggle, but once I was able to push through it, it got a lot easier to keep running for longer distances.
17 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:I'm not sure if I want to setup the tv in the basement or just in the study on the base floor level. It'd be a lot easier to move a recliner into the base floor.
I see. I think it might be worth considering where you will be the happiest with the recliner. Even though it might be a pain to get it down to the basement, it might be better in the long run, but that is up to you. Probably the best to put it in a place that you would enjoy the most and then just deal with moving it there. After all, you will need to move it there only once. Morning meditation is a great habit.
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On 7/20/2020 at 3:38 PM, Erik2.0 said:
I don't know why the current therapist does that. The meeting just shows up as cancelled with no explanation.
That should not happen. I would say that it is worth to look for a better therapist then.
On 7/20/2020 at 3:38 PM, Erik2.0 said:Thanks for the recommendations.
You are welcome! Let me know how any of the exercises go. Drinking a lot of water in general is good, hopefully the constipation goes away soon. That's awesome that you are starting running. With small increases like that you will be able to run a lot longer in no time. Good to see you enjoying running :).
Sounds like you are settling well into the new house. The set up with tv and recliner sounds great. I used to have a similar set up in basement when I lived with a friend of mine. It was great especially in summer because it was cooler than the rest of the house, but surprisingly pretty warm during winter because the boiler was located there as well. And a big congratulations on the 200 days off porn. That is a huge milestone!
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I would say, look for a new therapist is the current one is not showing up for your meetings. That is just ridiculous. Why does she do that? Moving can be quite stressful, but you can look at the positives as you mentioned, a bigger room, closer to your office and you can organize your things in a new way. I personally like that, but I am not sure if other so I might be wrong on the last one.
All in all, that is not that much water to get through in a day. It is good to hear that it seems to help too, I would say keep the habit going but maybe try to shift it to more water in the morning/day and then limit the volume in the evening. Waking up for the bathroom can be annoying, so this is probably the best way to combat it. Squats are great exercise and worth doing, but they require a lot of mobility for the full range of motion. You can try sumo squats, which are slightly easier on hip/ankle flexibility or Bulgarian split squat, which is easier in terms of flexibility requirements, but in no way is it an easy exercise. The nice thing about it that it can be plenty for a workout even with just bodyweight. Lunges are a good option too. If you do loaded squats try doing a front squat, which might be a bit harder, but I think it forces you to have a good posture, limiting the strain on your back. I personally prefer it compared to back squat for the same reason.
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I feel you with the neck pain, I have the same problem if I watch TV too big of an angle when I am lying down. Stretching helps a bit, but the only option that I found working consistently was to change the angle regularly or move things around to remove it altogether. One other treatment works well is some kind of heat pack. I use one that is filled with grains, and you just need to microwave it and apply to the affected area. It works wonders, at least for me, but might be worth a try. Good luck with moving. It can be stressful but also quite thrilling to get a organize your room again and change things up. AoT is great, can't wait for the next season to come out.
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Getting a good, consistent sleep schedule is not easy but that much more worth it. It might take time but once you get it going it is not that hard to maintain. Good job on progress with other habits, keep it up!
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That is awesome that you managed to sell your WoW account. Unfortunately, the accounts are never worth the money that we put into them, not to mention the time that we spent on it, but it is a good feeling to get something in return. In the past, when I tried to quit, I have managed to sell a few league accounts, but it was always quite a hassle, so I just deleted the last one. It was probably worth the more than the older ones, but I just needed to cut the ties at the moment; otherwise, I would end up back playing and possibly changing my mind. Good job on managing to sell your acc in the end. It is liberating to cut ties to our old demons.
Btw thanks for mentioning that you can edit pictures on here. I had no idea until now haha. I always just uploaded them, and they arranged themselves on their own which is usually a bit messy, to say the least, haha. It came in quite handy today. Thank you!
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10 minutes ago, gargamel said:
I have to say - days are beginning to seem so short. This forum takes like an hour or so a day, meditation 45 minutes, gym around 2 hours (commute included), and yesterday I spent around 3 hours on house chores+dinner. That's 7 hours gone already. Plus, I take a shower two times a day, I shave, I prepare myself something to eat, I make my bed, I make my coffee, I take out the trash and that cumulatively takes another hour at least, if not 2 if I do it slowly or have some other little chore to do. That's 9 hours of the day gone. and then if I study for 6 hours like a did yesterday, that's pretty much the whole waking day spent. Well spent, but spent. I still need to get used to it.
I keep running into the same issue. But if it was able to spend even more hours on gaming and still be able to get through life somehow, it is not impossible. Albeit, there is a limited number of hours in a day, but they are there to be spent. Might as well use them all because once they are gone, they are gone. Time in an odd currency. Its value is equivalent to what you buy with it.
2 minutes ago, gargamel said:... also, about the youtube algorithm... Yeah, even now I sometimes get gaming related content in suggestions. I think youtube remembers how much time you spent on youtube while you where watching gaming content, so even though you cleared your history they try to hook you back on it. Time spent on youtube = revenue for them, so it's to be expected.
That's interesting. I do not think I had the same problem but I cannot say for sure. I think that once I cleared it and then watched different content it has not came back but I might be wrong. If that's the case you can always sign in with different/new google account and build up your feed from scratch.
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9 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
Block twitch, block email notifications, log out of it, and click the do not recommended button on YouTube any time a video appears.
One thing that I would add to this solid advice would be to reset YouTube history, or at least remove any gaming content from there. Without that, I do not think I would be able to use YouTube at all because no matter how my videos, I was not interested in some LoL content always managed to slip in. Their algorithm can be a bitch, but we can make it work for our benefit, reset history, and search topics which will help you on this journey to saturate your feed with them. There is a lot of good content there too, so for me personally, YouTube was the hardest one to deal with because it needs moderation. In contrast, Twitch... just get rid of that shit, block it, and do not look back haha.
I really like the @Ikar metaphor with cigarettes. Also, if you would want to stop smoking, going to bars where people smoke, and are filled with it, would be as counterproductive as watching gaming content. You might not be doing it yourself, but passively you are not quitting. Moreover, this kind of action is not aligned with your identity as someone who is recovering from addiction, I believe that our actions need to reflect our identity, who we want to be. If not, we get into internal conflict, which only leads to anxiety. The same thing happened to me with gaming. I always identified myself as a productive and hard-working but my actions did not reflect that, hours of gaming are neither of those. "If someone could only see my actions and not hear my words, what would they say my priorities are?"
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TheNewMe2.0's Journal - A Better Life
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Same friend, the whole relapse and my application were quite stressful so that might have caused it too. Well not that things are getting back to normal as well as I eat better the acne is getting better too. Good job on getting so many clients that's awesome. You are better off with the new job then, even if it might be a bit more stressful and harder, with time I am sure you will adjust to it. Not to mention that it is that much better paid than the old one. Good job on the 10k steps.