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Amphibian220
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Posts posted by Amphibian220
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On 11/28/2023 at 5:51 PM, FDRx7 said:
Day 83
I think it's time I do a reassessment. While I want to be able to see out the chart to the end of the 90 days, I think it may have outlived its purpose. It has shown me trends, when certain habits influence others, etc. However, I've also noticed that it has given me this idea that there is a "more right" way of doing things than simply doing the thing. This has then directed my thoughts instead from my successes to where there are still gaps. Thus, every day I fill in my journal, unless it's 4.5 stars or above, I begin to feel like I have failed. The goal is habit transformation, not perfection.
Tomorrow, I'm going to start tracking on Everyday, which was recommended to me by @Antoni. I'm going to ease up on the success criteria and begin with just a few. I may still track the habits to kick, since those seem to be taking care of themselves, but I'll start with just a few. Going to bed seems to be the cornerstone, having cascading effects on everything else. I will focus only on getting up to bed. If I finish all of my nightly routine, great. If not, it's okay. The goal right now is going to be: be in bed between x and y time. I will slowly build from there. I'll still track trying to clean stuff in the house, but I'm not going to hold it against myself if I can't do it every day. Not right now. Sleep is the most important piece I need to fix.
This is indicative of misallocation of resources. I have relapsed many times because I got to a schedule deemed “successful” and found it too hard and unhealthy.
Then i realized the chronic shortcomings of not establishing better communication with family and work colleagues, neglecting competitive sport, were never targeted because they induced worrying.
I also understood that I have to probe more opportunities and strive for goals that are bordering on improbable. That gives me fuel.
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The day count doesn’t reset in my view. You’ve got 89 days game free against 19 days gaming, and the 89 days weren't wasted.
Something went wrong and here you have to assess what exactly it was.
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It may be that they are doing it out of worry. You are on the path to becoming a man and they are playing video games.
I’ll tell you something, if nobody picked on me, I would not be aware of the things i have to improve. Mockery is a signal when my self awareness is bad. A really good example I have seen is how people resort to humour and banter when something doesn’t go their way and are charming about the way they fail.
This is because they aim for a greater distance and know that mishaps will happen.
I think being rejected is very powerful for growth. But being rewarded for no actual gain can make us complacent.
Amen brother, we will fight this year.
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I think young people are unwilling to search for a community to be a part of.
I remember school clubs and how much embarrassment I had to endure, so the more attractive option was gaming. The best combat kit for thriving in real life environments is just being very good at your sport or trade because real organizations don't like failure.
Then I may be good, but people notice that something is off, and pick on me. I know I haven’t been up to the par but I cannot figure out exactly what it was.
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Week 11 and 12
It is easier to go for easy wins than complete a meaningful project.
I attended a job interview and the employer asked me about what value I could bring to his organization. I listed a number of marketing techniques, but he was unconvinced. I concluded that I value comfort and predictability in work far higher than achievement.
This is better than valuing games above self care and development but still a failing idea.
Edit: Had good sleep for the first time in weeks, meaning no phone use in the 2-3 hours before sleep.
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I think your point also holds in the modern work place. There are people who understand that a particular workplace is very unhealthy from the beginning. The tasks are very taxing on the health, so the obvious thing to some is to force an issue with the employer/line manager and improve the conditions.
The one type of workers are the aware people. If they don’t improve their working conditions, they resign and go on to find a better place. They may also add a healthy dose of mockery to illustrate the incompetence of the employer.
There are also the types who will permit an abusive employer to manipulate them, pay insufficiently, pick on minor faults etc. These types can have job insecurity, insufficient awareness about the situation to realize they are being abused. The employer will mock them by playing on their job fears. This type of worker is stuck in a shell just like a gamer who obsesses over a video game is stuck performing in game operations that are of no practical use.
Another type I have seen are employees who become very cynical and stay on to play the managers and underline the absurdity of the workplace. I can in fact say the workplace depending on the trade closely resembles a virtual video game where you have to know the exploits to thrive. But even here the system seems to play the cunning ones. How? They may figure out ways to get the bonuses and promotions, but they may be spending their time for a company with an overblown budget where they don’t understand the overall mission. There may be a mission statement on paper, but it does not reflect the reality on the ground. So they are working for a company that generates income, but of what use is this company to the community? Then this company may extortion its clients and reap income from predators that increase the need for its services.
there are many life examples about the legal consultancy, but it is a long subject to discuss on here. I once went against the rules to help a client and felt that my time spent in this company was somewhat redeemed.
It is interesting that the workplace exhibits these characters that you have described in your post.
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You may be a very competitive person by character and / or desire a sense of progression. A sense of progression (if it lasts) is the reason athletes spend decades competing in a sport.
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Does violence in video games make them attractive to you?
This could explain the anger issue. Another point is video games give a great illusion of control and easy tasks to solve. Real life progress requires discipline, consistency, planning, resolution, courage. Games do not require any of this. Once you start detoxing, you realize you have to relearn life skills, so you have to have patience with it and ask safe people for help.
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This is a quality post.
You’ve detected an underlying need just in time. It wouldn't have happened without an effort on your part.
from Cam’s post, people overeat because they fail to realize they need a glass of water. (Thirst not treated properly)
I can now see harmful habits as decoy traps engineered to harm health.
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I’m ashamed of lacking emotional qualities and being withdrawn most of the time. I feel great from sharing my success with my family and colleagues and listening and empathizing with them.
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Mainstream online entertainment is a red flag for me personally and this is why. An online video game match is easy to get into, very little time in turns of preparation, set up. It also pairs me with an evenly matched opponent and delivers excitement much quicker.
compare this with:
1. calling up friends and convincing them to play a sport.
2. Fixing a date and time, driving to the place, helping each other out.
3. Playing the game and realizing you have a lot of work to do to improve your fitness and skills.
4. Having to manage a fight and a disagreement within your team if it happens.
my former opinion would be: “The first option is so much easier”. Now i realize that in going after complete experiences and getting tired, experiencing human interaction and closeness with friends is more valuable .
Similarly, eating ready made feels tastier at first, but cooking food at home is better in the long run. I agree that learning cooking is not only good for your nutrition but an essential as a stress relief activity.
Friends are important to be happy man, but there are different stages in life. At times we are closer to our families, other times work can make us really busy.
I hope you correct your goals and become successful.
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@BooksandTrees , Yes , i spend surprisingly little time on fun activities. Its because i frequently feel tired, and or sick. The way around this is to find a fun sport to do right outside my house and do it with a passion.
In the past I’d play 2 hours of football at least 3 times per week. If its not going to be video games, it has to be an obsession with sport.
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Week 10
I cannot manage without self accountability. I need to keep posting because I get cravings to dream of strategy video games when i get ill.
I have to work the steps of recovery and participate in sport even when I’m ill. I will design a strategy board game and look for ways to add things I dislike. I.e. Having to manage disagreements with someone.
My cravings for work are influenced by my past cravings for strategy games.
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Good points. I consider these moments as a good time to better plan my goals and track my progress.
Many times the looming relapse was left unchecked because I had failed to see it coming. Whatever it was, it had always to do with absent mindedness and refusing to interact with the world. I think that one of the best description of gamer’s mindset is absenteeism. There is a good job, but instead of targeting it in the manner of a hunter, a gamer will make a half hearted attempt and after failing compensate by dreaming about or playing games. This is the issue. You have to strive for good faith effort and get complete rewards in return. You won’t need gaming or internet bandaid in that case.
With better planning and awareness I can better foresee what requires urgent attention.
I used to be an aspiring athlete (soccer) and because the awareness and pathways to the goal were so good, it unlocked a lot of energy and interest in all other areas like friends, education and family.
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What is the grace period for your purchase? Depending on Ts and Cs, you may be able to exchange it.
from this forum some people do well without external blockers or access limitations, but others need them. I know some members who got linux operating systems because they are not game friendly.
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Week 9:
I was ill to attend basketball, so spent a lot of time listening to podcasts instead of reading books and revising which is a relapse.
Over dependence on podcasts has made me lose focus and discipline. Last night I intentionally avoided podcasts and had healthy sleep for the first time in weeks.
I’m grateful for all the team members encouraging self accountability on this forum.
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Computer work that is set against time limits can have a stronger toll on the health than physical work like building or repairing. It impacts the eyes, wrists, posture and sleep a lot.
Spending 4-6 hours per day with a computer monitor that is designed to reduce strain on your eyes is ok. There are monitors with a very strong emission of glare and other more user friendly monitors (matte).
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On 11/8/2023 at 2:07 AM, FDRx7 said:
I don’t have an exact affirmation like that, but I’ve been trying to get in the habit of “naming” an impulse or emotion using a modified version of the ABC method of CBT.
A recent example from my abstinence from listening to podcasts:
Activating event: “I am alone at home and it is incredibly quiet.”
Belief: “I feel like I cannot stand the silence or to be alone with my thoughts. I feel a physical uncomfortableness in my stomach.”
(Projected) Consequence: “I will want to listen to a podcast to hear a voice in the background and drown out this feeling of loneliness.”
Instead, I will… put on some jazz after spending a few minutes in the silence, to acclimate to it.
In this case I’m using the C step to project what I would normally want to do and then in that moment choose something else. I think it helps a lot. It stops you long enough to change your beliefs/actions in the moment.
If you are putting jazz music in this case isn't it essentially the same response as putting on a podcast?
what would be the podcast, something useful for you or mostly irrelevant to you?
Wouldn’t loneliness be solved by inviting close family or a trusted neighbour for a cup of tea or joining a sport group?
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Ask the most of people that have responsibilities in relation to you and deliver the best performance in all of your daily tasks.
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Welcome to Game quitters!
What are you currently studying, or what is your profession? Can you report on your detox progress so far?
Why do you feel the need to turn real life progress into a game?
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Weeks 7 and 8 showed a definite fall in discipline : missed my basketball training, revised insufficiently and dis a lot of hiking instead.
I binged on GQ journals and a number of books. I essentially relapsed by reading an entire book within a day because I wanted to avoid staying focused on my primary daily goals. I watched some videos on the internet that as a whole lacked depth.
My days are typically uniform and I am starting to think that some variety is going to be necessary. I am planning on making one of the weekly days a reflection day where I track progress, another day a sports day and three revision days.
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this is an earned victory my friend. Never let small setbacks upset you, it is all bluff remember. You have to stay alert in order not to miss an opportunity that may be coming your way.
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I would like to ask the community members to suggest the best thought patterns or statements that you have found for focusing on the important things and not going into denial.
I can give an example:
I will not log on to social media for diverting my attention away from work, I will read a book instead.
I will do much more quality work and be healthier because I live without online distractions
If somebody repeatedly disrupts my work, I will write down a plan for speaking to them and expressing my complaint.
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This is a warrior attitude, have you noticed opportunities and visualized them ? What could you achieve after one year if you keep being healthy this way? Are there any threats that can undermine you?
Restored journal
in Daily Journals
Posted · Edited by Amphibian220
Im feeling anxious because I just got assigned to a new manager at work who is very demanding.
I am scared of a real prospect of being dismissed. I have rent and bills to pay and losing this work can put me in an uncertain situation. Im looking for new work already in my spare time because I don't know how long I will be able to get work done at this high standard.
Edit: Im losing sleep over this issue so I need to go play soccer outside until I get so tired I can no longer stand.