Amphibian220

How is the respawn program going?

What is it that breaks your plan about what you wanted to do? With me, i get that feeling of “its too boring to do the same thing every day” but then I remember that iterating an activity helps to make it more fun. This is what video game companies do to sell same games. My current job has zero client contact. Its all administrative tasks which can get boring, but I noticed people joke with each other to keep it interesting. Also the “how can I get the same tasks done with less stress” can do wonders for me.

Great stuff Matt. Consistency is key here. People tend to relapse because the results don’t come quick enough. I had to accept that positive results would come about from small 1 % improvements each day. Half a year later and I was impressed with sustained changes for the better. Wish you all the best.

Ok. When the going is tough, actions however small are important in this situation. I think difficult times present us with an opportunity of instituting changes, seeing something that we have always overlooked because we were too preoccupied. Its a strange part of (complacent) nature that in the absence of difficulty, people assume that their trajectory is leading them to success. I want to act in a better way, today and now without any prompt of an external event.

I am not self employed, but can offer a book that relates to personal development and helps in this regard: Atomic habits. There is a story about the British cycling team that could never win anything in international championships until they changed the man in charge. The new manager did something like 1 per cent incremental improvements in various areas of training, selection criteria, morale, funding. Whenever it appeared that they achieved the maximum point, he’d find a method to improve the overall performance even more. They then dominated that sport for many years. In my job I can remember how ridiculously slow my work was in the beginning. A lot of unnecessary operations, misspent money and effort. I’d drop out if i didn’t actively look for ways to increase valuable output without stressing myself.

So how is it going? Have you started job searching?

@Booksandtrees Have you witnessed a change in the environment during your term there? Was the communication like that from the start or did it deteriorate over something? I have paid a visit to my former employer and turns out she has enrolled on a postgraduate course. She told me she was tired of her work because it gets super intensive and its hard to go on for years in that kind of environment without learning much in the way of new skills. On another note: I was driving in the rain right now and saw something really cool: A guy driving his bicycle on the motorway. He was wearing only a pair of fitness shorts and was soaking wet head to toes. He looked at me for a brief moment and that guy just didn’t care about the rain. He was the happiest man in the world. He didn’t look silly, he looked tough and mean. In fact he was enjoying the breeze while doing his favourite thing. To heck with dreams, I’m going to go shadow box in the rain!

Interesting to read your entries. I keep seeing that you are “hedging” your interests by making sure that one activity/attachment doesn’t define you. You are pursuing multiple objectives at any one time. I still fall prey into sacrificing some activities in order to pursue my main one (work). Your approach generates better results because you enter the negotiating table with more bargaining power than you otherwise would. Most young people perceive bank accounts as the sole saving facility, but you took the time to learn about other types and so on. Your planning must be on a good level since you are able to simultaneously develop multiple aspects and skills. I think I could certainly use a more advanced diary than a simple list of to-do activities each day. Recently I read the beginning of Barack Obama’s book and this is what I gathered: 1) people get drawn into little superficial things in politics that obstruct the real underlying issues. 2) when you don’t exercise your rights, your superiors assume that you are waving them.

Emotions are very tough to deal with. Sometimes i wonder if i should pre plan my dialogue regarding a subject to make sure I don’t go off course. was your weight loss intended?

I can suggest a number of books: 1) Atomic Habits by James Clear Most people interested in changing their way of life don’t have any bearings on the psychological nuances. This book gives those bearings to the reader (not necessarily a gamer) in a very clear and practical way and enables him to see the cost. Atomic habits is a great piece of work, it will put you on the spot immediately by making your subconscious impulses evident to you, and by explaining to you what works in dropping bad habits and what doesn’t. 2) Power of habit Similar work to Atomic Habits but more technical on psychological issues. The following two books will shatter beyond repair the wishful thinking of any emasculated western subject (not implying you are such): “No more mr nice guy” by Glover ”Death of Ivan Iliytch” classic by Leo Tolstoy. This second book was hard to read for me. It tells a story of a man who is constantly trying to fit The values that society imposes on him and goes to ridiculous lengths to achieve that. He then loses the plot entirely and seems just to be racing to make more money. Nothing else really matters at that stage. It sort of just voids his life entirely of any meaning and closer towards death he is suffering morally for having turned away from honesty and sincerity with himself. P.S. Fight it man, your striving is not in vain.

@Ikar I’m rereading James Clear yet again and took notice of his rule of thumb: if something presents you with immediate enjoyment here and now, almost always it is going to lead to a bad outcome in the long term. And vice versa, activities associated with difficulty here and now are going to lead to great results in the long term. I wonder if there are any examples that contradict this hypothesis but I haven’t found any. In fact this hypothesis changes my attitude whenever I come back to it. Revising for exams is feeling fun now! Edit: I think self-accountability and journaling are the greatest tools for becoming honest and developing a unique character. Nothing helped me more than that in the last ten or so years.

Hey Ikar, you said in one of your earlier comments : “The annoying part of knowing what you want is you know when you have failed” What do you think about the identity based approach, where you think more about how much you reflect a desired identity rather than the results that you are achieving?. After all, even the best athletes and businessmen have their share of failures. On another note, Made me smile when you stated you have to put more effort into relaxing. My day took a very good turn when I did one of those things that I have a habit of avoiding.

The coolest thing for me is you are going to start rock climbing again! Sport is such a morale builder, its like air for us. I’m hoping you are going to get good sustained momentum with this.

Hopefully you will be able to change your environment for the better. I employ certain tactics in order to prevent myself from being tempted. Whenever I’m revising or cooking, I put my phone away and keep it on silent. That way I’m never distracted from my activities.

Welcome to the forum I think this kind of scenario is more likely if you encounter a leader /group that is attractive to you because your values are the same. Usually, you want to earn your place in that group and you are distracted so much and so frequently from your usual mode of behaviour that new habits start to take form and put your old habits to sleep. Trying to change your environment as much as possible is a great idea and the greatest character shift comes from communicating with charismatic leaders. I find that I cannot have ANY excess capacity. I have to spend my energy and time in a balanced way each day. At times I develop a habit of creating extra time with no allocated activity. If this goes on for long enough, old thinking patterns activate. hope this post was of help to you.

Well done, what sort of changes to your habits do you think worked in improving your revision?

Welcome to the forum. Hopefully you will stay on the program and reformat your habits into a healthy lifestyle. May I ask what your interests are and the stage of your academic career?

Glad to hear that. Your new activities are your safeguards. I don’t get upset about being late in life with certain milestones anymore and this is why. I professed the qualities of a “successful” university graduate, but there were serious issues underneath the surface. Conversely, I observed people that were much less capable in skills such as memorization, numeracy etc. but they had the morale and consistent approach to slowly fix all the issues. This kind of attitude carries over into fitness too. I would go into breaking my personal records to do more pushups, but I would sacrifice technique and lack consistency. I felt super excited, but my approach did not convert into meaningful results. Being pumped and excited is alright, but without a sound plan these impulses aren’t going to work on their own. You are keeping in touch with your school friends and that is a great habit. Who knows, this can produce an career opportunity of sorts.

You are welcome. Let me tell you, i stayed some time without media stimulation. At first, my emotions were negative. After all, internet media served the need for distractions very well. But I held on a bit and started noticing the world around me, started talking to people and developing skills and insight and most important of all, started accepting boredom! Its a must to be a healthy and a resilient man. There is a story of a desert fortress where the men are expecting enemy attack at any moment. But the enemy upsets their expectations by not attacking. They then have to endure inhospitable conditions of the desert and boredom (!), but because they have a very well thought out plan, they are able to go on many years without losing form, morale, training etc. ultimately, the enemy force attacks them and they give a good fight because they didn’t give in to wishful thinking. This story has inspired me.

How about taking time off to spend time somewhere else away from your old environment? Did you have that?

Ok, are you regularly tracking offers on jobseeker websites not only in your practice area but other related fields too? What sort of intel have you got with regards to that?

This is the thing with work, there has to be a greater strategy and vision about where you want to move with your projects. you have to deal with boredom to get to success. Don't doubt yourself in your job, its going to change for the better. Every time i come to work, i think to myself: behind all this routine and boredom lies ahead a great moment of challenge which i will overcome. But apply new tactics to get rid of bad habits. Best thing is to be unavailable for the bad habit. We know when and where we are bound to do something bad, so avoid that situation beforehand. in fact, this kind of “escape” looks promising and fun to do.

Man, don’t slide back into filling time with distractions. Writing and reading is a clever way to structure your time more productively. I think about the reduced activity of this website- it may be momentary or not. When I remember myself some years back, I had a gaming problem without playing the games, but compulsively constructing game worlds in my mind and I hadn’t had enough awareness on how to combat this. Right now there are many people who need help but don’t know it. How did I come to this conclusion? The gaming industry has become more mainstream. There was a world competition some years ago for one online game with a prize fund of over 30 million USD. That tells me there are many people in need of support. I’d like Cameron Adair to give us some news on his awareness campaigns. I suggested to him to gain publicity by sending questions to gaming conventions on the harm done by new concepts of video games. I had no response unfortunately. I’ve a friend who is a gamer but I don’t know how to voice it to him. They typically get embarrassed and defensive when you tell them that.

Ive skimmed your last posts and detected a recurring pattern: curiosity ruses. You detailed in a number of cases how something invites your interest or you just want to keep up to date with friends or news and that gets you to relapse. Repeat to yourself out loud that you are going to ignore curiosity ruses today. Write down your emotions in the evening and reflect that this is a road to recovery. In reality there is never spare time in your life. Every moment you are taking care of your needs, be it rest, communicating, work, education, sport etc. Are you tracking points for following daily plans and discipline? Do it man, its going to be real character progression for you. Don’t just exercise and say that you’ve exercised. Devise a scoring system that incorporates health, education, business plans, personal finances and make it a point to do a 1 per cent improvement each day. Estimate the percentage that is necessary to pass this year and work out a plan how you can keep scoring the necessary points on a sustained basis. Please describe yourself one year from now, who exactly you will be. If you are going to be a starting businessman, take some interest what sort of starting businessmen there are who are successful and what are their traits. Constantly ask yourself “Would this person do this kind of thing that i am contemplating?” The more you ask that question the more authentic your responses will be! And if you really do want to be that person, you’ll have no trouble dropping what is a deadweight to you.

Welcome back serious Jay, My current observation is that journaling, developing and correcting plans with regard to your goals will always be necessary . If i had no bad habits at this point in time I’d still be journaling and practicing self-accountability. I got much needed insights by reading your posts at a time when I was going through hard times. If you aren’t going to journal on this forum, be sure to maintain a private diary and please support members on this forum too. Going on the offensive is the least natural instinct for a person who has developed a habit of escaping, but this is exactly what He needs to do. Take that extra step to better yourself as a person when you want to slack a bit. I recently read a short novel by Tolstoy that details the life of a man who directs all his efforts to be formally a good person. As a judge, he at times passes judgments that are unjust but make it easy for him to be this nice guy. To make it short, he is ever chasing meaning by trying to fit into what society expects of him. Towards the end of his life, he suffers by observing how much in vain that was and decides to build a park. Now there are many bureaucratic hurdles in the way of building it and for the first time he starts breaking the rules to get the right thing done. He follows not the form but principles and he feels himself alive for a rare moment.