NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Icandothis
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Posts posted by Icandothis
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Happy very belated birthday!
Your paintings are absolutely beautiful. Keep going. Sending love and joy to you today!
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And I am grateful for you friend.
I love reading your post because even though you are going through extremely challenging situations; your spirit remains joyful and loving.
Sending strength to you today. 🙂
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Hello,
It has been so long since I have been here.
Life has been very confusing. Integrating myself back into my “normal” daily activities has been a challenge. I am emerging into a world that has been extremely impacted by the pandemic; and where I live in PNW, everything is very locked down.
Just one breath at a time.
We have moved to a new home, a block away. It’s bigger... which my girls really love. But it is still next to a forested area. I again, broke down into tears leaving my old apartment... but then a beautiful rainbow appeared. Picture below. 🥰
Still going to acupuncture. My hands and feet are numb from chemo... this could take a year to resolve.
Starting back into my yoga practice! Also practicing daily body scans.
Also, I have removed sugar from my diet. All sugars, honey, maple syrup, agave. I really really struggled with this... but now... over a month out I am feeling really really healthy. I have replace all the sugars with spices, turmeric/black pepper/cinnamon and a ton of herbs, basil/thyme/rosemary. So delicious.
I miss my very very long hair. I had to cut off 14 inches... and have realized just how attached I was.
My resolution for this year is community. Feeling very isolated, and have started to fall into some not so good patterns. At the same time, I feel more than enough. Full of love, life and light. Feeling so so so many things right now.
I have missed this forum and hope to be posting more regularly.
Edit: I can't find my rainbow picture. Will post soon. Sending joy friends!
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On 12/15/2020 at 7:57 PM, BooksandTrees said:
I failed my exam today that I studied for months and waited 2 months for the grade. A passing score would have seen me become a project manager and receive a substantial raise.
I'm disappointed.
But I want you all to watch what I'm doing. I'm not going to play hours and hours of video games, watch porn, or anything like that to escape my pain.
I will sit here and understand my pain to the fullest. This pain I will never forget. Every day when I study for the next exam and don't feel like it I'll remember this pain. How I never want to feel it again.
This is my fuel. I will not hide from it. I will harness it and face the world again. I am resilient and unwavered. I accept my loss and pain. I'm allowing myself to be sad. Being sad lets me release my negative emotions in a healthy way. Crying is human release. It's important to grieve now so tomorrow I am stronger.
If you face pain in life just remember to never hide.
I am so sorry. You worked so hard. It’s ok to grieve and feel all the emotions.
Sending strength friend.
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On 10/23/2020 at 7:05 PM, BooksandTrees said:
I took the test. The first half went really well but the second half was extremely difficult and I don't think I did well. To be honest, I think I didn't pass the test. So we will see. They asked some absurd questions and I wasn't a fan of it.
When will you receive your results? I really hope you passed. You are very intelligent and put forth all the effort.
Please let us know.
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On 10/25/2020 at 11:19 AM, BooksandTrees said:
Hi,
I played a song for you on my steel tongue drum today. It's not very good and follows no tune or notes. I just like the way it sounds because it's peaceful and happy. It reminds me of you because your life follows no specific path but you always find ways to be peaceful and happy. Sending love to you always.
Matt
Oh wow. Thank you. This is so beautiful, gentle and sweet.
Your music is absolutely perfect.. and it’s such a gift to hear you play. Thank you for walking this journey with me and for being here.
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Hi friends....
Its over. 600 hours of chemo is over.
I mean really....
600 hours of chemo infusions! This treatment has been unreal. There is no way I would have finished without all the love I have received... so thank you.
Really thank you for your prayers and intentions and messages and love. We did it!!!!
People keep asking what is next... and all I know now is I am cancer free!
In 1 month I will have labs to test for tumor markers. Then in Feb, another CT.
Just for today, I am snuggling with my babies. And enjoying the beautiful fall trees.
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This world has been feeling really big and scary lately.
Reading this community’s post have brought me so much joy and happiness.
Spending lots of time reading bible, listening to Dharma talks, focusing on my breath. I have been beyond exhausted, but determined to use what energy I do have as a service to the world.
Sending love friends. Feeling so grateful for this safe and caring community tonight.
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Yay! So you got the new job? Congratulations friend!
Thank you for sharing your journey here and we are so thankful for you. It’s such a joy to read how you find happiness in the small things. I smile at your posts often, and my heart overflows when you share all that you are grateful for.
Have a beautiful day friend.
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Welcome!!! Love your picture and username! Look forward to following your journey!
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Keep going friend. You are so close! You have been preparing and studying for this exam for so long.... you are almost there!!!
I know you will do well.... and it will be such a huge achievement once it’s complete. I wish you strength and concentration and confidence... you can do this.
Thinking about you... I hope you got some good sleep!
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Welcome!!! We are so glad you are here.
When you quit gaming... you will have so much time to explore your passions, learn and enjoy life. What kind of music do you play?
Have a beautiful day!
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Hi....
Late on this ... but hope your mom is doing better and is out of the hospital. That is really scary.
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On 10/1/2020 at 6:52 PM, BooksandTrees said:
Today was nice. I woke up and got a lot accomplished at work. I then went grocery shopping and got 3 months worth of food so I'm good again. I got back to work and got more stuff done. I then went to play tennis with my friends and we went out to eat after. It was a really great time. I talked to my dad on the way home and now I feel pretty content. I'll probably take a shower and relax a bit before sleeping. I don't feel lonely today. It is nice. I also played my hand drum. The drum I got is the same as the one in this video and it's nice to make these noises when I'm relaxing.
When did you get the hand drum?
I was going to get one, but then was not sure about quality and how it would sound. Do you like yours?
Hope you are doing well!
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8 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:
I think they're good luck 🙂
Let’s hope so friend. ☺️
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Hi friends,
Things are going well. Girls doing good with online learning. Baby doing good in preschool.
Starting my next round of treatment. They have become so rotten... I cannot fully recover before starting again. Only 3 more.
I have been getting out into nature daily.
I read this wonderful book, “Jesus and Buddha as brothers”, by Thich Nhat Hanh. It has helped me understand that it’s not either or, but both and. Above all is to be in the here and now. To hold each other with love compassion and understanding.
And I have been sitting. Breathe in. Breathe out. With each breath I return home. I return home.
Sending peace my friends. 🌸
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On 9/22/2020 at 6:33 AM, BooksandTrees said:
Good job on your treatment! I'm so proud of you. Bunnies are cute as well. This one visited me a few days ago on my deck.
This bunny is so cute. I feel like they come out and visit us. Thank you for sharing.
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18 hours ago, gargamel said:
I did it guys. Passed the last exam. Dead tired, but happy. @TheNewMe2.0 I applied. 🙂
I'll try to get some sleep now.Yesss!!!
So awesome! Proud of you!
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Happy happy birthday!!!! I hope this year is filled with love and joy friend!
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I just saw @Cam Adair is back!!! 👋
So happy. I will watch your YouTube video this week!!!
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On 9/20/2020 at 2:18 PM, BooksandTrees said:
Thank you! You are so kind. I haven't taken a bath in 20+ years. Lol
Oh haha!!!
It must be a female thing. Or maybe only me thing... I could sit in a bath for hours!!!
I am sorry you are having trouble winding down. That must be really hard. 😞 I hope things turn around for you sleep wise... I really do.
Take care and be well. You are such a beautiful being... you deserve peace.
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Thank you friends. Your encouragement means so much to me. And I feel like I have a whole family at the infusion clinic. None of us want this to be part of our story... but well... we are here. And we are here together.
We are all here together.
Made a little tiny simple goal of getting outside everyday. This morning I got up early, and went for a walk. It was so beautiful. The squirrels and birds were so happy! And I saw a rabbit on the path!!! I hope this is my rabbit friend from last March... who sat and stayed with me... while I was pouring out such heavy tears.
Feeling super hyper/wordy from Day 1 treatment.. so I will end it here. I believe the picture below is Hawthorn Berries.
Sending love.
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We are grateful for you friend. Keep going. Find the beauty. Smile often. It’s tough right now, but you are doing so well.
Sending joy!!!
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I am so sorry friend.
I swear by Epsom salt hot baths. You can get a huge bag for $5. It helps with muscles, anxiety and just overall state of being.
Hope you feel better.
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Icandothis journal
in Daily Journals
Posted
Ahh that’s right.. we’re going to grow our hair together!
Glad to see you here. I haven’t caught up on your journal but I hope you are meeting your goals!
Have a beautiful day!