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LucyInTheSky

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Everything posted by LucyInTheSky

  1. Alright then. Thank you so much for accompanying me on this, albeit short, journey.
  2. DAY 48: Don't see a point in doing this anymore. What do you think?
  3. DAY 38: I am so sorry that I have not been updating this journal. I just don't feel a need to. Life is just too mundane really. Maybe I'll keep updating this, I don't know.
  4. DAY 31: That's a month then. My album is coming out tomorrow so that'll be something. Not much to talk about other than that I need to go to bed earlier. Today's slicr of happiness: Rainy nights
  5. DAY 28: School is still slipping away from me, but I'm getting the hang of it again I think. I did a little bit of study at home, which is better than nothing I guess. Dunno. Tonight I listened to Graduation by Kanye West, first time I ever genuinely listend to hip hop. I like it. Today's Slice of Happiness: Being warm
  6. Awesome to hear that you're enjoying your current state! Humans are always going through phases of dissatisfaction and change followed by phases of contentment. Always nice to be able to relax.
  7. DAY 26/DAY 27: Still nothing to say. Life is normal as it aleays hss been. If I can sau something, I've been having some nostalgic thoughts for video games I played when I was 12 and 13, particularly Gradius, Touhou, and Sonic. These feelings aren't urges to rrvisit these games but it's kind of interesting. I'm satisfied enough just listening to the music from them to feed my nostalgia, as I accept that it's behind me now. It feels like I have not been studying enough however. Not sure how to sum it up but I've been doing bare minimum when it comes to school, at least today. Today's slice of happiness: Fish
  8. DAY 25: Big day out seeing a couple art galleries. TOo exhausted to write anything. TOday's slice of happiness: Cashews
  9. DAY 24: Still rather unproductive when it comes to school, bare minimum effort as usual. Did a bit more work on the album. Went on a walk to a new place, with a river. There was a man feeding the ducks, Eastern European judging from his accent. I like ducks, they're cute. No gaming cravings as of now. Sometimes my mind wanders to gaming, but I would probably only play it if it was with other people, and after the 90 days were finished. It doesn't feel like an urge to play them. Overall, feeling confident. Today's slice of happiness: George Harrison
  10. DAY 21/22/23: I have officially lost track of time. Things are still going alright, which might be what's stopping me from talking here, but today was pretty eventful for a weekend day. During my walk I decided to venture further than normal. When I reach halfway around the block, instead of circling around it, I went a couple blocks over to this old forest path that comes out the other side of the block. It was a nice, natural, shaded environment. There used to be horses inside a fenced area in the forest when I was a kid, but now they're long gone. When I came out the other side, there's a small clearing by the road with another small forested area. I remember playing with my brother in that area when I was a kid, and I saw a couple kids playing together there too. Longing, nostalgic feelings overcame me as I set foot there. I ended up going into the forest. There used to be horses there as well, but there aren't anymore. The fenced area still had the tub that the horses would drink from, long dry of any water. I remember feeding those horses with my family. I've been thinking about that. As I ventured through that forest the song "Strawberry Fields Forever" was playing in my head. The song is about a nursing home where John Lennon (who wrote the song) often played in as a kid, and though it wasn't an actual field of strawberries, being in this natural area with childhood connotations meant I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it. It's a rather excellent song, though I won't say to look it up since I"m pretty sure most people have heard it before. I'm not sure why I'm talking so much about this. Just very interesting feelings. I remember looking in the forest for goblins and fairies as a kid, but they were never there of course, and now the horses have gone as well, and so has the young child that I once was. At 17, I am one year away from becoming a legal adult, so this may be why my head is filled with these thoughts of nostalgia. As @Sarma said, this and the moving on from games may be a transition out of childhood. My overall feelings aren't sadness or fear of growing up, but rather warm feelings and appreciation of the value of childhood. Very beautiful thoughts. I've also made a lot of progress on what is probably my last vapourwave album, will probably share once it's complete. Today's slice of happiness: The temporary nature of human life and the beauty of it's fragility
  11. Really good to hear how much you've grown in the last few days! I remember seeing a video that was incredibly nihilistic once, going on about some character who's life was unhappy and meaningless, and went so far as to state that happy people were simply faking happiness since they were in the same situation. But it's not about the situation you're in, it's how you choose to live in it. Provided you have basic necessities and satisfying social relationships (which doesn't necessarily include romance), happiness becomes a choice, whether you want to get stuck in and stress things, or if you want to live in the moment and ennoy yourself. I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to lecture you or anything ehe, but I'm very happy to hear you've grown like this.
  12. DAY 19\DAY 20: I have no clue what to write. I need you guys's help. Life has gone back to normal and everything is in order so I practically have no reason to keep the journal going, but it was very fun, so I'd like to keep writing. But there's no motivation. Life is completely normal. Today's slice of happiness: Warm fires on cold nights
  13. DAY 17/18: I've been forgetting about this. Not much to say. Have been living my post video game life like normal with no cravings. Nothing to say. Today's slice of happiness: Not being dead
  14. DAY 17: Only one cousin came over, it was actually a party being thrown for my brother and my cousin happened to come along. I have to make this entry short because there's some shit going down with my computer breaking, but it was really enjoyable. I don't socialise much and I sort of realised it's because other high schoolers are really boring compared to university age people really. But yeah it was great. Today's slice of happiness: Marshmellows
  15. Awesome work on the cello haha. And progress with coding, too. It's all very productive, and if there's something great to remember, it's how much you're actually accomplishing which is quite a lot! You're doing really well!! Looking forward to your next entry.
  16. Mm sounds like you're more interested in the epic battles aspect of it since you played an rts and suggested a fantasy adventure, I was big on the "bigger picture" (EU4 and grand strategy that simulates hundreds of years of empire building), and generally in the history of countries and yadda yadda lol. DAY 16: Friday. First weekend now begins! Not even sure what I'll do. I think my cousins are coming over tomorrow, so I'm hoping maybe one of them can show me his guitar (I'm thinking of learning to play one, and I looked up some stuff on how to play a basic e minor chord lol). Other than that, daily life. Today's slice of happiness: Kermit the frog. I don't think I've met anyone ever who doesn'tlike him haha.
  17. DAY 15: Life is continuing. We had our first History class of the term which is nice, but gave me cravings to game which I had since forgotten. Just wanting to play strategy games and experience alternate histories and build empires and all that shit. The only thing I can do is remind myself of the flaws in those games for which I stopped playing them, and that works pretty fine. Other than that, today's the same as it ever was. Today's slice of happiness: Fresh air.
  18. DAY 14: One of today's classes was horrible, and I just want to talk about it to help get it out of my system. In Art we looked at an artist who's work often involves sexualised pictures with nude female figures. I won't get into the details, but I have a serious repulsion and fear of the nude female body, especially breasts, which I attribute to traumatic childhood events. But it seriously affected me and my mood and by the end of the lesson I was sobbing as I asked the teacher if I could look at a different artist's work for our homework research, which he did fortunately. I cried a lot after that class, it really hurts me even thinking about it, but the next class's teacher was able to help me calm down and i was able to get my mind off of it. The rest of today was pretty normal. Will do some homework on German tonight. No gaming craves, by the way~ Today's slice of happiness: Happiness itself, I really value it after what happened today.
  19. Good to hear you're doing things to give you more time to get things done! A sign you're getting out of the rut you described in the post before it. Keep working hard and good luck!
  20. DAY 13: Big day. School was actually pretty nice, good to get my brain working again. After school I had to see a play up in the nearby city which meant a couple trips, and a show in between them. I enjoyed it though. Was far too tired to write anything that day. I will write about today once I'm home from school, or at night. Dunno. Today's slice of happiness: People who don't use emojis and instead use the classic ":)" faces.
  21. Nice to see you distancing from alcohol and cigarettes. As for finding a fun activity, be sure to try anything you can. A lot of the time stuff that seems boring can prove to be much more interesting.
  22. DAY 12: LAST DAY OF HOLIDAYS WOOHOO YAY FOR SCHOOL But yeah another uneventful day. Today's slice of happiness: The prospect of having order in my life again.
  23. DAY 11: I am suffering. First of all, no desire to game, don't worry, but I've just got nothing to do. I've lost interest in music after realising that to make better music would require more familiarity with chords and keys, which would require getting proper training or classes. I'm thinking of learning the guitar as I feel it would help me get in touch further with my musical side, but that probably won't happen until Christmas. I might get back to writing some time, but for now there's no big desire. I might study a bit tonight, but it just feels so pointless after having not been at school for so long. I still go for walks and watch Netflix but that doesn't fill up an hour of the day when combined. I just spend my day in my room watching Youtube and chatting to friends through Discord. It's getting incredibly mundane. In two days, school starts. I need it now more than ever. Just anything to give me order back in my life. Today's slice of happiness: Feeling better after writing my woes down here.
  24. DAY 9, 10: Each day the same as the last. I'm desperately waiting school's arrival in two days. If there's anything interesting to talk about, I've been exploring a lot of David Bowie's albums recently, just trying out new music. Diamond Dogs is probably my favourite now, even more than Ziggy Stardust, probably how dark it is while still remaining glam and rocking, while stuff like Station to Station is a bit more difficult to enjoy for some reason. No gaming cravings. It's nice. Today's slice of happiness: Sleep. It's nice.
  25. DAY 8: Basically the same as yesterday, minus vomiting. I did a bit of music work though. Not much, but managed to get a song that felt lost a bit more on track. The days are becoming monotonous. I don't have a desire to game though. As I type this, I'm uninstalling Steam. Feeling like I've pretty much moved on heh. That's good. School starts in 5 days or so, and I'm excited to finally have some order and discipline back in my life. I'll feel productive again. Today's slice of happiness: This classic:
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