Oh man, your post hit me hard. I'm in a very similar situation to you. My long-time girlfriend and I had a 'discussion' regarding my habit. I searched addiction, found the website, did the quiz and here I am. I'm ashamed to say that I've been incredibly unfair in my treatment of her, and she has been wonderful though I don't deserve it.
Just like you, I've been running from my past and hiding from uncontrollable social environments.
Reading your post gives me hope for myself - I hope to be happier and a better person. Thank you for sharing your story, and good luck!
We aren't alone.