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About WuqingDi

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  • Birthday 12/24/1998

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  1. WuqingDi

    Life changing journey

    DAY 9 Didn't really skip the college, dunno why but after waking up I found strength to do things in the right way. The only awful part of the day is that I have a headache for nearly half a day: from the morning till around 5-6 p.m, frantically, I was killing my mind trying to code a program in the wrong way. Funny thing, I knew it was wrong, but still kept persisting up, hoping to find a good solution to a hopeless case. Good thing: I, indeed, have resolved it, only to find out in the end that I can't run my programm: I couldn't apply my solution to a real-time run. Finally gave up with satisfaction (I know it's kinda vague, but it'll take too long to express it all, so summarising: tried to do something in a stupid way, knew it was stupid but still kept doing it, only to find out (nearly after half a day of effort) that it was impossible. Well, it's a good thing to give some "food" to your brain, but then you become zealos it always ends bad...)
  2. WuqingDi

    mattso's late journal

    Nobody knows, it's normal to feel ambiguous about future. If there aren't any important tasks, I'd suggest you to take a pause from coding or try to learn another programming language. If you take a pause, even one month will do you good. Also, I'd suggest you choice a path you want to follow and stick to it (at least for some time), i.e. what you want to do as a coder: web developing (front-end. back-end), MAC, Windows app developer, phone app developer, etc. Try to find what you want to do as a coder, then find some information about skills you'll need to have and start building your foundation. If you have motivation, learning new things will be enjoyable and also rewarding. I can relate that programming tasks from school can sometimes kill all motivation to code (and even see something that'll remind you about it), but if you do it out of passion it'll become 100 time better and more enjoyable than ever. Whatever you'll choice, be it a pause or a new language (or just sticking to c++), good luck! At times like this, I just listen to System of a Down - Lonely Day🤣
  3. WuqingDi

    mattso's late journal

    What programming languages do you learn at your school? CodeAcademy is a good way to start, but it depends on personal motivation to continue in that environment. I like more something like courses on udemy. It's paid ones, but it doesn't cost you too much and gives you a good environment (not the best) to place yourself while learning coding. Also, in my first year (near the end of college's year) I became so irritated with coding that I didn't touch it for 3 remaining months, and even more so during summer vacations. After starting my second year I suddenly found myself incompetent, it ignited me to learn more. I love to code, but because of gaming I couldn't devote myself completely to coding. Now, after stoping gaming, I find motivation to even learn new programming languages. P.S: If it's your first year lerning to code, I think you lost motivation because you still don't understand it enough. I have a lot of classmates who had the same problem as you, just try to stick to it. It becomes more interesting as you learn more. Also, you might incounter another problem: as you learn more, your ego starts growing bigger. Some internship will help you keep it at check, but it's future problem, not current so don't bother with me, haha. Good luck in your fight with addiction!
  4. WuqingDi

    I'm glad

    Welcome. Just try not to blame yourself too hard. I think your problem is that you understand your shortcomings and want to fix it, but you fear uncertain. I felt it too, but found an outlet faster. Just try something, it doesn't need to be something big: start watching some tv series, for example. If you become bored, start reading a book, etc. It's hard for the first time because you are accustomed to gaming. I think, maybe, you have something that you like, but don't treat it as "occupation", more like a "pause" or "relaxation" after gaming. You can do it more if it's not youtube videos with game's content. Be wary of that. Exercising is also a good way to free your mind. You don't need to go to gym directly, just try some jogging(you don't need to run for 2 hours straight from the start) or some stretching. If you don't like it then just forget. Heck, you can even start learning new language or start coding. Maybe you're in a state you know you need to try something new, but don't want it or feel uncertain. It's the case then you don't need to listen to yourself: trying new things is the right way, it doesn't matter if you abandon it after some time. The points is, you won't be gaming and your mind won't be occupied with gaming.
  5. WuqingDi

    Life changing journey

    DAY 8 These 2 days I went ahead with my course, it's really a good way to not think about games, just need to be busy enough. (I have a test tomorrow, so I couldn't work a lot on my course). The downside is stress and some emptiness, when I don't want to do anything, but ultimately force myself. In the end, by today's evening I've decided to skip a day at college tomorrow. I know it's bad to run away from the problems, but better that than gaming out of stress. Maybe I pity myself too much, but better safe than sorry. I'll just find a caffe and read a book for some hours, maybe I'll code something interesting. Nothing in common with that college dictates me to code. I need to refresh myself out of this vicious cycle before it'll eat me whole. I don't know if somebody can relate: you don't do anything special, just your normal routine, but if you do it for so much time if starts to kill you from inside. Some family problems also played a part. Good thing I didn't game and even took less time watching/associating with any game's content, so even in these conditions I feel a little proud and hopeful about future. Some thoughts: gaming addiction is a bad thing (as is any other type of addiction), but seeing some progress (even a little) is giving you joy. For me, even the smallest amount of joy is giving me strength. So, I hope nothing major will happen and I'll continue like this (didn't mean escaping my problems by that, I'll try to avoide it in the future)
  6. WuqingDi

    Life changing journey

    @mattso thx for sharing your opinion (and for the video, didn't know there was an youtube channel) and also for encouraging. I came to the same conclusion: if I don't want to do anything because I think games are an better option then moreso I just HAVE TO do something. DAY 6 Today I bought some new courses on udemy, it's always fun to learn new things (at least at the start :D). Also, it feels great because being busy had me not thinking about games. Oh, and I watched pilot of Prison Break (which my friend called the best tv show ever). I found it interesting, but usually I can't watch more than one episode per day, because it becomes boring somehow, which is sad because I won't have time for at least next 2-3 days (have a test at wednesday, need to prepare). Good monday to you guys, hope you'll cope with it (wish it never started T_T)
  7. WuqingDi

    Life changing journey

    DAY 5 Today was great, I've learned the numbers in chinese (and also a little of names, but I'm still bad at it) with DuoLingo. Later just spent time watching youtube, which feels ok because I didn't watch any game's content. Surprisingly, I've found a good film on netflix. It was about Einstein with a typical catchy title (something like "inside the mind of..."). Nevermind the title, it was really interesting (not novative, but it's my first film about Enstein, so I took a pleasure watching it). Bad thing, I again had some thoughts about gaming. It's getting harder to controll myself, but for today I'm still ok. The only problem is that right now I feel literally exhausted without doing anything. I think it's like this because I had two free hours when I didn't have to do anything, and usually I'd play some games in times like this, but now I don't know (and neither want) to do anything. How can I describe it? Frustrating. I've finally casted aside gaming hoping to do more productive things, but I still pity myself and laze around. Hope I'll be able to cope with my desires...
  8. WuqingDi

    Life changing journey

    DAY 4 Morning was good, but had a little headache when it was nearing midday. Now I need to go to the library, it opens at 2 pm. I can't study at home, it's sad that I have only 1 hour to get from college to library (with house as an intermediate point where I can have lunch). This is the busiest time of the day for me. Also, I have a test tomorrow. After 2 hours of reviewing test materials I think I'm ready. Still have around 3 hours before it's closing, so might as well study something else. Oh, and I've tried DuoLingo. It's funny I didn't know about it before. I wanted to study chinese for some time already, but didn't have any resources and always was saying to myself "it will take so much time to collect the resources". And that time was always dedicated to gaming. Now I can learn it in meantime, while doing what I have to do for now: getting driving license, not falling behind in my college and aslo lerning more programming. After finishing my driving exams I'll go to the gym. Didn't go there for 3-4 years, it's gonna help with disciplining myself I think (hope to cop with it, no snapping, no escaping and no gaming, amen). After going home I've studied some programming, now I plan to watch something on netflix and go to sleep. Bad thing I nearly had a snap: a desire to play some heartstone with my new deck is so big I can't expresss it. But still, I persevere.
  9. WuqingDi

    Moving on

    Hope you'll get better, being sick is the worst. It's good that you are more stable now, as the saying goes "time is healing". You'll get over it, eventually. Just don't give up!
  10. WuqingDi

    TSL's Journal

    Well, first of all: good luck in your attempts! Hope you'll succeed and achieve all your goals. Also, I quite envy you: I don't see any dreams when I'm asleep, but I'm sure if I did, I'd see games too... so maybe it's ok then?🤔
  11. WuqingDi

    The first journal of an 18 year old university student

    Good luck on your exam! I think it's ok to have slight slips in initial periods ('caz I have them too :D).
  12. WuqingDi

    Life changing journey

    DAY 3 The day passed smoothly. Today I've been watching youtube for only 1 hour. Though I didn't have any more time to watch it, even if I wanted to😆. My sister took me out, she broke up with her boyfriend not too long ago, so I was helping her today, but in reality (maybe) I was helping myself. I'm single for some time so it'd be a lonely Valentine's day. In the end, I can't say I'm happy (I'm an indifferent type), but at least I didn't think about games today. Feels great, hope it'll continue like this. I still have a little more time before bed, so might just study programming. Also, happy Valentine's day, everyone! Hope you all had a great day!
  13. WuqingDi

    Life changing journey

    Hello! This is my first diary ever and also my first attempt to quit gaming. I am a lazy person, but I'll try to update in daily. https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/7058-im-gonna-say-bye-to-the-gaming/ This is my story (a little messy, but I tried to be more specific and less wordy. Maybe later I'll change it more accordingly to my tastes, but for now let it be) I'd like to indtroduce myself as a person who grew up with not only offline/online-solo gaming, but also the termine "e-Sports" (which I kinda hate, but netherless). I started following professional scene of Dota from 12-13 years old and as I was growing up, e-Sports accompanied me throughout my teenage years so now it's become an inseparable part from my being. As I grew up, I started to play more games (like CS GO, LoL and HeartStone) and, also, become a fan of corresponding competitive scenes. It sounds normal, but from this I have a lot of problems: 1. As I play a game and encounter a bad day (it happens when you lose 2-3 games consecutively and as I play a co-needed games sometimes the lose is not because of me), so I try another game instead of stoping playing. As you can see the pattern, I can kill a day just playing games totally ignoring RL and all I must do. Also it gives me my second actual problem: toxicity. 2. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I'm very toxic in games. I know it's not my true nature, but more like an environment defence instinct. I think a lot of people who play online games will understand me: sometimes we don't bother ourselves with that we say and how we behave in internet. I dont like it. I want to be myself in every possible way and if in real life I can be quite, in online games I don't even try it. You can say it relives stress which isn't a bad thing, but after swearing on someone I'll feel upset because of what I've said. No stress relived, but more acquired. 3. Time. Priority. I can give gaming all I have to get nothing in return. I don't like it. And there are many more reasons. Summarizing: At first I didn't want to admit to it, thinking "can gaming really be an addiction?". But, after honestly asking my innermost feelings, I have to admit that I'm addicted. I couldn't admit if before because I knew the reason, but never had the balls to admit it: without gaming I'm nothing. Seriously, all I did in my life was gaming. There was a period when I couldn't talk about anything with my CLOSEST friends other than gaming. It felt so shameful and frustrating that I had no other interests/hobbies in life. There was a period when I was thinking about becoming a pro gamer, but ultimately gave up: I'm not even excellent in the game I've played most of the time. Because firstly I did it for fun and later just for a habbit. I've never tried to reach the apex. So, now being aware of my situation, I want to change it. I have no particular dreams/goals in my life, maybe only one: be true to myself and be free. I want to control my own life, if I feel like I'm wasting my time and recources on the things which give me nothing in return, not even satisfaction, then what's the point in doing it? I reassured myself that I can't quit because I've put up money in some games, buying hats and continue playing just for this wack reason. Screw it. For now all I want is to try 90 days challenge. I know I can easly take 5-6 days without gaming, but one month? two months? even three? I can't be assured, so I'll try it with my utmost determination. Hope this journal will help me passing through this period and reaching my ultimate objectives: bringing new things in my life and becoming more aware. For now I don't have anything in mind that I want to try, so I'll just stick with some books I wanted to read. DAY 1 I was studying all day long, which surprised me, because usually I'll take a pause and play some games for maybe 1-2 hours (sometimes it became all day of playing instead of "pauses") and only after that I'll reassume my studies. You can imagine how disctracted I was usually. Feels great to study all day long in a while. I know it's not something to be proud of, but it's a good start, isn't it? Later, around 9 p.m. I opened youtube and just like that I've been watching some video games content for 1-2 hours straight. Feels bad to dedicate so much time to it, I need to cut it little by little later. DAY 2 The day went normally, except I again have been watching youtube for 2 hours (and maybe more) and it's not even the evening. I think I'm trying to fill the gap of gaming using it, so screw it. 1 hour a day till the saturday. Good thing I started reading more, but it bothers me that other than reading I have nothing else. It feels like I need to find something new, or pick up which I left behind because I "didn't have time". So I decided to continue learning programming. Now I have time and possibility, but why it feels like I'm rejecting in internally? Feels like my inner self is speaking to me: "you have better options to do, like gaming or watching youtube". Funny. eh? Never knew I'd say it, but screw my inner self!
  14. Hi there! This is my story: I grew up in a small town, it happened so that my closest childhood friend took me to a PC caffe when I was around 6-7 years old. I came there with him everyday, but later I'd been going there even without him. Initially it was just 1-2 hours, but later it became periods of 4-5 hours. I couldn't play more simply because I didn't have enough money. Initially I was playing some MMORPG with friends and a little of DotA. We didn't have any WLAN services like Garena or iCCUP, so we've been playing DotA by LAN. When I've got good internet and a good PC (around 2013) - I started playing Dota 2 and my days were like this: school -> home -> playing all day. Initially it was ok, but later I've started neglecting sleep and (I'd say) Dota is a very toxic game, so my mental health started degrading. Around 2015 I moved out. The change did good, I started to do more importang things, but the gaming addiction still remained. Sometimes I play more, sometimes I play less. I don't feel any excitement anymore, only a need to play. So now I want to free myself from this "shackles". I hope I'll succeed!