Mohammad

Thanks for your comment @BooksandTreesand @Bugg. Gaming is fun but it has some negative impacts on me. I feel lazy when I play. I was free for two weeks and I did only two workouts! That is bad enough. I spent the past two weeks gaming for about 3-4 hours per day. I don't think it is detrimental, but surely, it is a waste of time. I could do something worthwhile with that 30-40 hours spent on useless video gaming. I got to start a new detox. I am happy with my 70-day detox and I do not mind to start over. For the better, here we go with a new detox as of Jan. 3rd 2021. I am having some urges for gaming, that is completely normal. I have to commit myself to the plan and continue writing here to be on track. I will do workout, meditation and read before going to bed.

Wish you a happy 2021, @BooksandTrees

I was wondering how long have you been in contact with her? I think you should have met each other earlier. What's your opinion on this? I know that you have Covid-19 concerns, but isn't that too long of a wait?

On day 71, I did not play. I had strong urge but managed to control it and focused on my thesis revision. @BooksandTreesThanks for your advice. Honestly, I do not blame my bro. He did not really persuade me. He just offered and it was enough for me to relapse. I think I might have relapsed anyway because I had some temptations in the last few days. I think the main reason is that I am off for a week and I know that I should rest in this short period of time. As such, I am thinking why not game for a few days and then get back to work like before. So my main problem is that why taking it too seriously if I can start a new detox after the break? @BuggThank you for your message. I am clear about my goals. I know how important it is for me to become financially independent. Focusing on my goals, I managed to avoid gaming on day 71. About the fear, I think it is going away because after spending a day on my thesis, I realized it is totally under control. As such, I have no strong motivation not to game on my days off. I think the main reason I am trying not to relapse is that I do not want to reset my detox! This is not good enough to block the temptation. It is clear why I am feeling urged to play (having some time to spare) and I found it hard to convince myself out of it. I am not resetting the detox for now because it would be easier to continue relapsing if I do so. Thanks and I appreciate your feedback on this.

68, 69, 70: Unfortunately, I could not resist the temptation and I played with my bro again on day 69 and 70 for about two hours. I don't know what to do! I see that I am getting hooked again. I woke up today cleaning out the house to get some positive energy. I am going to go through my feelings and contemplate on my goals. It is really a bad time to relapse. I have to finish up my final thesis revision and defend it on January 11th! I am very scared of the situation!

11 hours of studying is a bit too much for me! I prefer to have at max 6-8 hours of focused work and spend at least a few hours on reading, exercising, etc every day. I believe persistence is the key to success. 11 hours may not be sustainable in the long run unless you are like Elon Musk! That you came along without gaming for 35 days is fantastic. Good job.

That's amazing 🙂 I think you are doing very well.

Day 65, 66, 67: On day 65, I played for an hour with my brother. I won't consider this a relapse because I played because I didn't want to say no to him, and it wasn't the game I am addicted too. @dasviraNo, they don't. They know I have wasted a lot of time with gaming, but they don't know about my addiction. I didn't really enjoy the game I played. However, I feel it is too risky to play again with him. I might got hooked in. I know it can trigger my addiction and I might ended up relapsing. Therefore, I will make excuse the next time and avoid gaming altogether. Thank you @BooksandTrees. You definitely helped me out of gaming. The fact that you followed my journal and gave me valuable advice really was the reason I came back here and continued writing. I did not play in day 66 and 67. In fact, I have been doing very well with my work and life in the past two months. in total, I have read 13 books from Nov. 2019. The last book I finished a few days ago was "Elon Musk" by Ashley Vance. I loved the book. I am now reading "zero to one" by Peter Thiel. I am set to get my PhD! Finally, I received permission to go to the oral examination on January 11th. I need to be vigilant; more than before!

Good job @dasvira! very comprehensive writings.

I am sorry to hear the bad news about your exam. Hopefully, you'll get it the next time. You have the perseverance to go for it again, so I am sure you'll be good.

Day 57 to 64: I did not have any temptation in the past week. However, today, my bro sent me a message to see if I was up for a game. I have not been playing with him since childhood. The game he offered was a game we used to play 15 years ago so it was very nostalgic. I was tempted to play and said okay. I looked at some youtubes too. Playing with my bro won't probably make me addicted because that is a different game; not the game I am addicted to. However, I ended up watching some youtubes about the game I was addicted to and I was tempted to play it after I saw a new update has arrived; it is one of the biggest update in the past year. I remembered the last day that I decided not to game again. In fact, I had that feeling written in my notes, so I went back to my notes and read through them. My feeling was very horrible that day! I felt desperate and disappointed about myself. The horrible feeling of that day was present today, and saved me today. I think I should make sure to read that note of my feelings every day to make sure that I do not forget how miserable my life can get if I come short resisting my gaming temptation.

Day 53 to 57: No gaming and no temptation. It's all good in the right direction.

Thank you @Jason70. Yes, thankfully, the vaccine is getting us through this pretty quickly. 😄

I am thrilled to see that it is working for you. Keep us updated. That is pretty exciting!

Day 51, 52, 53: Thank you @dasviraand @Jason70 for your comments. Yes, screen time is a real issue especially because of the pandemic. Too much strain on my eyes. I can't really tell the difference between my days. Basically, the same thing every day. Waking up, working at home and going to bed. all day long at home behind the screen! Hopefully, we are getting rid of Covid-19 pretty quickly. Anyway, the good thing is that I have no urge for gaming and I am able to enjoy my work. That's about it. I am getting there to my 90-day detox this time pretty easily, but yet, I know that I should not be proud about it. I am well aware of the risk and I think about it daily even though I am writing twice a week.

20-days streak! that is quite a lot of progress, dasvira. Congrats.

Day 46 to 50: I had no urge for gaming. I have been very motivated and tried to use every minute of my day to improve. I am very happy for this. I think removing the steam account was necessary. I have to create a new account to be able to play and that itself is a good barrier. It is also a sign of my seriousness and commitment. I am behind screen 7-8 hours a day for my work and study, and so it is unbearable to spend a few more hours to play after work. I know it is very risky for my health if I do so. I am spending at least two hours daily reading book and 30 mints doing workout.

Day 42 to 46: I have been extremely busy these days. I am working full time and yet I am planning to move to another city, and also preparing myself for my final PhD defence. I have a toddler that adds to the busyness of my life. I had no urge to play. I was able to fit about 30-40 mints into my daily schedule for workout. I am so happy for that. @championealI totally agree on this with you. I am trying to build some helpful hobbies and habits. For example, I have been reading books over a year now and I have been enjoying it. I can say that It is a real hobby for me. Reading Elon's biography is fun and satisfying. My life is way better now than when I was gaming so I cannot believe that I may relapse again into gaming! unbelievable! Am I really that stupid to fall for it again? Gaming is like a cancer that ruins every aspect of my life including my dreams and those who I love. I have to abandon it at all cost.

Day 36 to day 42: With the start of my new job, I am very excited and busy. This is very good because I experience no urge for gaming. keeping myself busy works for me. I enjoy my new job and it is well aligned with my life long goals. As such, I am feeling blessed for it. I started reading a biography of Elon Musk by Ashley Vance. I am very interested to know and learn from Elon! very astonishing figure. I was quite lazy with my daily workout because of busy schedule. This is worrying for me.

Good job Dasvira, twelve days without gaming are quite a lot of improvement. Keep it up.

Thanks @dasvira. Yes, I am much happier now. I know I will be very successful if I can live without gaming. however, I am scared of another relapse. The last time, I relapsed after 6.5 months! That was painful. I do not want to experience it again. Still, here and there, I feel some urges for gaming. It is very weak though. I am not sure how I can be sure that another relapse does not occur in my life. Day 36: no gaming.

Day 34,35: I have not temptation. I am focused on my work and optimistic about the future. I did workout today. I was not meditating for a while and I am going to meditate from today. Covid-19 is rising and we are stuck at home. Thankfully, I have a good spirit because I am starting a new job from the coming week and I am very motivated and excited about it. 🙂 My thesis is still under review for examination and hopefully I will receive the examiners' comments by the end of next week.

Good job man.

I like the way you write about your emotion, problems and achievements in detail. I have a piece of advice advice for focusing and avoiding for mindless surfing. Method 1) 1) pick up a music which is good for focus (it is a good idea to find a really good one and stick to it for a long time; we do not want to change the music because the brain has to be associated with that special music for focusing) 2) whenever you are studying, listen to music. When you want to do something else such as checking emails, stop the music. Resume the music when you are back at work. This will help you to distinguish between your main work and other things. When you brain is associated with a music for focus, you'll find focus easier and you will not stop the music to do mindless browsing. Method 2) On top of this, I use an app on my smartphone, called Productivity Challenge. When you start the timer, you can not stop it for 25 mints. After 25 mints, you will have 5 mints break. This is a good way to get focus and stop procrastinating while working. I hope it helps.

Day 33: I am doing very well. No temptation. I am focused on my work. Spend the free time with my kid. I skipped the workout today.