NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Mohammad
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Posts posted by Mohammad
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Day 46 to 50:
I had no urge for gaming. I have been very motivated and tried to use every minute of my day to improve. I am very happy for this.
I think removing the steam account was necessary. I have to create a new account to be able to play and that itself is a good barrier. It is also a sign of my seriousness and commitment.
I am behind screen 7-8 hours a day for my work and study, and so it is unbearable to spend a few more hours to play after work. I know it is very risky for my health if I do so. I am spending at least two hours daily reading book and 30 mints doing workout.
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Day 42 to 46:
I have been extremely busy these days. I am working full time and yet I am planning to move to another city, and also preparing myself for my final PhD defence. I have a toddler that adds to the busyness of my life.
I had no urge to play. I was able to fit about 30-40 mints into my daily schedule for workout. I am so happy for that.
@championealI totally agree on this with you. I am trying to build some helpful hobbies and habits. For example, I have been reading books over a year now and I have been enjoying it. I can say that It is a real hobby for me. Reading Elon's biography is fun and satisfying. My life is way better now than when I was gaming so I cannot believe that I may relapse again into gaming! unbelievable! Am I really that stupid to fall for it again? Gaming is like a cancer that ruins every aspect of my life including my dreams and those who I love. I have to abandon it at all cost.
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Day 36 to day 42:
With the start of my new job, I am very excited and busy. This is very good because I experience no urge for gaming. keeping myself busy works for me. I enjoy my new job and it is well aligned with my life long goals. As such, I am feeling blessed for it.
I started reading a biography of Elon Musk by Ashley Vance. I am very interested to know and learn from Elon! very astonishing figure.
I was quite lazy with my daily workout because of busy schedule. This is worrying for me.
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On 11/26/2020 at 4:34 PM, dasvira said:
Day 12 - of my journey to overcoming my gaming, porn and internet addiction:
Did a 12h shift today. Unfortunately I came back to home tired, opened porn (disabled getcoldturkey) and fapped before taking a bath. I don't really feel bad about myself, because even if I want get rid of porn I think it is not as problematic as TV, internet and games. That being said, I am still committed not to see porn (forever, should I have the perseverance). I realized porn didn't make me feel better but worse and doesn't do anything good for me in the long term.
I see my journey as a lifelong commitment, so now there is nothing else that I can do other than restarting the counter....
Did only 10 min of surfing today.
Days without:
- gaming: 12
- TV / streaming: 12
- Porn: 00
- Unwholesome social media and internet surfing: 00
Good job Dasvira,
twelve days without gaming are quite a lot of improvement. Keep it up.
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Thanks @dasvira. Yes, I am much happier now. I know I will be very successful if I can live without gaming. however, I am scared of another relapse. The last time, I relapsed after 6.5 months! That was painful. I do not want to experience it again. Still, here and there, I feel some urges for gaming. It is very weak though. I am not sure how I can be sure that another relapse does not occur in my life.
Day 36: no gaming.
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Day 34,35:
I have not temptation. I am focused on my work and optimistic about the future. I did workout today. I was not meditating for a while and I am going to meditate from today.
Covid-19 is rising and we are stuck at home. Thankfully, I have a good spirit because I am starting a new job from the coming week and I am very motivated and excited about it. 🙂
My thesis is still under review for examination and hopefully I will receive the examiners' comments by the end of next week.
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Good job man.
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3 hours ago, dasvira said:
Day - 5 of my journey to overcoming my gaming and internet addiction:
Today I did worse than in my last two days. I realize that blocking the biggest distractions with GetColdTurkey is very helpful, but certainly not sufficient. Mindless internet surfing is proving extremely hard to overcome. No matter what I do, I will always find some new kind of distraction in the internet. I know that internet surfing isn't compatible compatible wit my life's goal, and I even realize it while I am surfing, but still I keep doing it just like I was under some kind of spell.
During today my biggest distraction was mindless surfing in some forums I uses to frequent: mainly here (gamequitters.com), nofap and thephylosophyforum. I even created an account in the later one (even if I am an ocasional reader for about a year, I did never create an account over there bedore), thankfully I realized I don't need yet another distraction in my life, deleted my account and avoided getting hooked up adding another distraction into my life. I blocked (probably temporarily) ALL online forums with the exception of this one with GetColdTurkey. I will probably unblock them again after a prolonged decluttering period, once I feel I am more 'rehabilitated'. I will also only check this forum once before bedtime.
I feel that my addiction and vices always go together, hand on hand, and while I was hooked in internet forums I even started to 'cheat' GetColdTurkey, by checking reddit in my cellphone at one time and searching porn in bing.com at another time. Thankfully I was able to resist temptation on both times.
I still have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, today I took almost 2 hours to get out of my bed! I just find the sensation of waking up and not having to worry about anything in the morning so enticing! All I want is to keep bellow my warm blankets with my little dog...
I also have trouble recollecting myself in the morning and "starting the day'. Usually this means to sit down and do 20-30 min of meditation after which, usually my mind is full settled down and I start studying.
Finally, I am starting to take notes of important daily milestones and difficulties. I know the most important part of my journey is my subjective feeling of well-being and progress. However, I can't think of any better and objective way of tracking my progress long term.
Facts of today:
Wake up hour - 6:00
Got out of my bed - 7:40
Started Meditation (got done with early morning chores): 9:50
Meditation: unable to settle my mind and had some worries about the perceived (and mostly imaginary) 'injustices' I go trough my life
Mind wandering/ wishful thinking/ daydreaming episodes: 11:10; 14:30; 15:20; 16:30; 18:40
I didn't game
I didnt't watch shows
I didn't see any porn.
I DID mindless internet surfing (and A LOT of it)
I did meditate.
I did exercise.
I did journaling on penzu.
I studied only for about 4 hours (2:10 minutes of classes + 28 pages of textbook).
Subjective score for this day (0-10): 5
Days without:
- gaming: 05
- TV / streaming: 05
- Porn: 05
- Unwholesome social media and internet surfing: 00
I like the way you write about your emotion, problems and achievements in detail. I have a piece of advice advice for focusing and avoiding for mindless surfing.
Method 1)
1) pick up a music which is good for focus (it is a good idea to find a really good one and stick to it for a long time; we do not want to change the music because the brain has to be associated with that special music for focusing)
2) whenever you are studying, listen to music. When you want to do something else such as checking emails, stop the music. Resume the music when you are back at work.
This will help you to distinguish between your main work and other things. When you brain is associated with a music for focus, you'll find focus easier and you will not stop the music to do mindless browsing.
Method 2)
On top of this, I use an app on my smartphone, called Productivity Challenge. When you start the timer, you can not stop it for 25 mints. After 25 mints, you will have 5 mints break. This is a good way to get focus and stop procrastinating while working.
I hope it helps.
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Day 33:
I am doing very well. No temptation. I am focused on my work. Spend the free time with my kid. I skipped the workout today.
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Day 32:
No gaming
Workout as usual
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Day 31:
I was just notified that my steam account is deleted. However, I feel some temptation to game tonight! I know this goes away so I will watch my feelings as I go through this process.
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Day 28,29, 30:
I am excited that I finally came to a month of detox. I had a good start with very little temptation. Tomorrow, my steam account will be deleted. This is the second time I am deleting my steam account though! I know that a relapse is always by the door and I should watch for it very carefully.
The last time I relapse when I felt over confident. I thought I can play a few games and get back to work like normal. I did so but after a few days, I played again! Before long, I was immersed in gaming thinking day and night about it! I should be very mindful of my experience. I have learned that one game is enough to ruin my life for real.
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4 hours ago, dasvira said:
Day 1.
Today I am already feeling better compared to the last two weeks. I had no urge to game whatsoever.
I decided that today I am quitting cold turkey not only from videogames, but also mindless internet surfing, unwholesome social media, porn, TV shows/ streaming services. From all of those gaming is by far my biggest problem, but I don't think that those other addictions would add anything to my real goals in life. Besides that, they they are usually a triggering factor that lead me to gaming. Furthermore, or on my last attempts at stopping gaming I stopped gaming, I simply substituted it with other low effort forms of entertainment, mainly reddit and steaming services like netflix.
I got an answer from steam and my account will be deleted in 30 days, and I intend to hold on firm during this time. Although I'm a PC gamer, I also bought a Xbox in 2019 (that I don't really play that much) and I wanna get rid of it ASAP before my commitment goes away. I was not sure about what to do with it and trashing the console seems to be a radical choice, so I decided to give it away to an orphanage. Already talked to the manager and I will deliver it there during this week. Even if my gaming problem stems of how much I was exposed to games as a child, I believe most people play video games without any addiction problem, so giving the console to poor kids feels like the most sensible choice to me (I guess? Not sure about what you guys think about it).
I am lucky to have a good job with flexible hours and I managed to redistribute my working day of this week into this weekend and next week. I feel like i really need a short break. I already have planned vacations in December.
As I said this is actually my third or fourth attempt of quitting games cold turkey and forever (and I made uncountable less serious attempts). My previous attempts were successful for a couple of months until I eventually and slowly relapsed. This is the first time I actually take action to physically get rid of my games, so if I ever wanna play video games again, I would have to buy all of them back. This my second time trying to quit porn and social media and my first attempt at quitting TV/ streaming. Maybe I am being too bold and naïve, but I will try to quit everything at once.
I will try to post here everyday even if it is only a few words reaffirming my commitment and realizing that I didn't game today.
Days without:
- gaming: 01
- TV / streaming: 01
- Unwholesome social media and internet surfing: 01
- Porn: 01
Good job, buddy. Giving away your console is a smart move.
Best of luck for you on your journey
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Good luck on your journey, Dasvira. I think removing your steam account is the wisest thing to do. I am also doing it and my account will me removed in 4 days.
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16 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
I'm considering buying home gym equipment. I miss exercising with weights and I think it will help release pent up stress. I'll think about it this weekend now that I'm in a better piece of mind.
I still feel that my emotional vulnerability at the moment can lead to anger at any moment so I want to find healthy ways to Express it.
I won't gameplan too much like before. I'm just going to practice hobbies, exercise, sleep, socialize, relax, and eat and drink water.
Buying gym equipment is a great idea. I have been working at home for a year now and I love it. Its cheap, efficient and convenient.
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Day 26 and 27:
No gaming and no temptation. I think I am in the right direction.
I registered for CELPIP exam, which is an English proficiency test I have to take to become a permanent resident in Canada. I also have to move out of this city to another city because of my new job. I am very excited. It is quite an improvement in my life.
The chance of keeping up with the detox is higher for me when I get busy in life. I am the type of person who is inclined to gaming whenever bored, inactive and have lots of freedom. So, I am looking forward to this new chapter in my life 🙂
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On 11/9/2020 at 9:21 PM, MuMuMelon said:
Day 133
Lately I've been thinking a lot about relationships. Mainly, that I don't have many close contact to anybody but my immediate family and a friend or two. I've been very aware of the time I lost while i was gaming. Most of the time I feel great but today I'm feeling a little doubtful. I'll get over it.
I know that I have made progress in my life since I quit gaming. It's just that sometimes I feel like I've wasted too much time to truly accomplish anything with my life. Again, I know that's not true but it's hard not to have these thoughts from time to time.
I'm also having trouble sticking to healthy eating. I do well, eat healthy for a few days, feel great and then eat like garbage the following day. Feels like I make no headway. I guess I'm just surprised how hard it it to really dedicate yourself to healthy eating habits.
I'll get there eventually.
Hope everybody here feels commitment and enthusiasm for quitting.
Night
What I do to keep myself motivated with my health is to focus on my goals. I visualize myself being fit and healthy when I am old. This is the dream I have been developing so that I can fight against the immediate pleasure of eating junk foods. Like gaming, there is going to be relapse along the way, but as you mentioned, you will get there eventually. I also have a daily checkmark that I will fill overnight before going to bed. One of the checkmarks is "avoiding junk foods". I am able to go over my calendar and see the days I ate junk foods. This way, I can keep track of my improvement and make myself more motivated and disciplined.
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Day 20 to 25:
I played 1-2 hours on day 20. I have been doing okay and focusing on my daily routines in day 21 to 25. I know that there is a good chance that I play again in the next few days or weeks, so I should be very mindful of it. I am very bored. I am at home all day long. I cannot find any fun activity that really excites me. The only thing that keeps me straight is my positive outlook for the future, the responsibility that I have for my son and the joy of being with him. I think these are enough motivation for keeping me away from games.
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26 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:
Maybe this is just my opportunity to control my anger and decide not to be angry. I feel like I could tell myself to lose my temper or forget it and go to bed. The only thing is I'm unsure what I'm angry about in general. I'm lonely and would like a girlfriend, sure, but I wasn't thinking about that today. I was more upset about me jeopardizing my future by being stupid at work.
I am so upset with myself. But what is that doing? It's making me more upset. I can rationalize my emotions and get through this. I'm not bound and I'm not loose. I choose to find myself in a good position in life.
I know what you are talking about. I have been stupid a couple of times in the past year, and I was super upset with myself at the time. However, I acknowledged my fault, and moved on. What else could I do? I just took note of it and made sure it does not happen again. I decided to "talk less and listen more" and have been trying to discipline myself. I believe the world is our greatest teacher, so anything can be viewed as a learning opportunity.
On your loneliness and stress, I think meditation might help you get over your emotion. Personally, I found meditating with an app named "headspace" very empowering. It is important to do it daily.
I think it is good that you write about your experience. Research has shown that talking about bad experience with others help individuals to get over it easier.
Best of luck
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4 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
I mentioned in several dozen pages ago but I know exactly why they did it so I'm ok with it. Thank you.
how can I find it? Do you know the page or date of those writings? I am interested to know if you do not mind.
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3 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
I find that I'm attracted to very emotionally needy women. Like ones that need to constantly say you love them and are very fragile. It's like I want to care for them more than the average woman and I think it has to do with me being emotionally neglected as a child. I think by me caring for someone it's somehow giving my mind the impression I'm giving love to myself. I don't like it because I think it's going to lead me to being manipulated by emotionally controlling women.
In my past, I've dated women who reward me heavily for being ultra affectionate, but if I let off the gas pedal and don't say "I love you" all of the time or am super affectionate then they notice and instead of asking what's wrong with me they will pick a fight so I act emotional again.
I think it's also because I want to be told I'm loved and I think if I give this woman a ton of affection she'll in turn give me a ton of affection. Which is never the case.
I see what you mean. That is quite complex. I am happy to see the way you are analyzing your own behavior. I think when you know the root of the problem, you are half way there to find a solution. As you said, it is probably related to your childhood. Research has shown that talking about bad experience help people to relief the negative effects. I am all hear if you like to explain why you think you were neglected? I sometimes feel the same because my parents and family were attracted to my older brother. Hopefully, that never has had any bad lasting effect on me.
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9 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:
I don't like my taste in women.
what do you mean? I know finding a partner is hard but the harder part is to get along well with her/him for the long time.
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On 11/2/2020 at 12:05 PM, BooksandTrees said:
I'm wondering if I'll fall into that scenario, but I know they don't really scale this exam so we will see. I don't want to build up hope and have it crushed. I've accepted I am retaking it.
okay, yes. This exam is a different story if it is not scaling with respect to other participants. I hope you get it done this time. and if not, I am sure you can use the experience to nail it the next time.
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On 11/2/2020 at 12:08 PM, BooksandTrees said:
What are you doing instead?
Day 19:
Unfortunately, I do not have any hobbies! I am just working all my time, and the rest is with family. I often do 3-4 times workout per week and read about 30 mints per day. I received a job offer from a well-known company and quite excited about it. As such, I am keeping myself very busy with work (school work and internship) and looking forward to the new job.
I know I cannot go on this route because I will burn out at some point. I don't know, I am just too busy to look around to find new hobbies!
There is one good thing I am doing. I am reviewing my feeling after the last relapse and it helps me to be mindful of it and keep the temptation away from me. My stem account will be removed in 11 days if I continue this detox, which is great.
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Dasvira's addiction journal and confessions (starting again...)
in Daily Journals
Posted
20-days streak! that is quite a lot of progress, dasvira. Congrats.