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Posts posted by karabas

  1. Day 25-26/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) 
    Sleep before 12am: 14 (longest previous streak: 4)

    No phone in washroom 28/120
    Umra resolutions: 13/90

    Work Hours: 4:05 on Wednesday, 4:20 on Thursday (19:15 this week)

    The last couple of days have been tough. I've discovered that we may or may not be in hot water tax-wise in this country and spent a lot of time figuring out next steps and just stressing out. Ended up going with my wife for an unscheduled date to de-stress. Hence the productivity drop on Wed. Thursday was better, but I had class that I spent the morning preparing for and then 2 hours during the day attending.

    Overall this tax thing put the possibility of having to leave this country soon at the forefront (it looks like we should be OK and won't need to leave), and that made me realize that were we to leave today, I'd really kick myself for not spending more time studying and taking advantage of the fact that there are Islamic teachers here. 

    I'm considering setting a new goal for 30 hours of work + 15 hours of study a week (I already do about 5 hours of study). Most likely no point in setting these goals right before the trip, but maybe I'll set that goal for when I return. Will pray on this.

    Work hours this week are definitely not going to hit 40. I'd need to work 10 hours Sat & Sun both to make that happen. And yeah, that's not happening. But I'm OK with that considering the turbulence of the past couple of days.

    Plus, I'm still not watching videos or playing games. I'm now past my previous record of video detox and I'm past 120 days of no gaming. Pretty awesome stuff!

  2. Welcome to the forums, @Rude ?

    This is my personal definition of an addiction: if gaming (or any other kind of activity, really) is preventing you from doing things you'd rather do, it's an addiction.

    One of the things that we generally recommend is to start your own daily journal. Some folks will read it and may follow up with you if you disappear (as has happened to me a few times). It's also a great long-term method for getting to the bottom of your addiction, what triggers it, and how to avoid it.

    And feel free to read other people's journals - you may find someone who's a good match.

  3. Day 24/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) 
    Sleep before 12am: 12 (longest previous streak: 4)

    No phone in washroom 26/120
    Umra resolutions: 11/90

    Work Hours: 6:10 (10:50 this week)

    Yeah, so that sleep I was talking about? Totally happened yesterday right after I posted. I was so sleepy and I went and crashed for 3+ hours. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I think I can wait it out until Friday to get some extra rest.

    Clearly, my sleep schedule is not providing me sufficient rest (even though I'm sleeping close to 8 hours a night). I need to make changes.

    I think after Friday, I'll aim to sleep before 11:30pm. I have a feeling that extra 30 minutes is all I need, but let's see.

    The big challenge is going to be our upcoming trip to see my family. My family (especially my Mom) go to bed super late. But since I see them once/twice a year only, I really want to spend time with them, so I stay up too, but it totally destroys my sleep schedule. Over there, dawn is around 7:10am, so I have to be up ~6:45am at the latest. To get 8 hours of sleep, I need to be in bed by 10:45pm. That sounds highly unlikely, given my family lol.

  4. On 12/9/2018 at 11:17 PM, I want to quit said:

    Thanks for the reply! 

    1- but when I quit gaming, i just watch youtube when I am trying to not play games, and that deters me from studying. I agree that it's really hard to quit youtube, but i think I have to do it, i don't have much time left. But I will definitely remove all my google accounts to one, and delete all 300 subs. 

    2-I play mobile games, and watch youtube on mobile, do you know a free app that blocks particular apps? thanks

    3- I know I shouldn't be sad, but I relapsed over 10 times, and I can't afford to fail more, I have to do it within this month..

    1 - I'd be very careful about setting deadlines like "this month". Addiction's a long, tough fight. I've been trying to quit for 10+ years.

    To be fair, I've actually started to make progress when I came to this forum and started a journal. Writing about it daily forced me to think about why I was addicted, what behaviors triggered my addiction, etc. But there's no fast & easy solution.

    But repeat failure is definitely part of the process. Plenty of guys on here have failed a ton of times, but if you look at how they're doing now compared to 6 months ago, it's night and day.

    In terms of YT and gaming, I don't have all the answers. My personal experience has been to quit gaming first and deal with the video addiction second, even though I did exactly what you said: resort to videos if games were not possible. I've seen some guys who are doing a gaming + gaming videos detox - they're allowed to watch videos, as long as they're not about games. I think that's a good first step because gaming videos are a common relapse trigger. @JustTom can weigh in on this more.

    2 - Nothing foolproof that I'm aware of. My solution to wasting time on the phone has been to keep it in a different room (bedroom when I'm awake, office when I'm asleep). And I have a separate detox counter for not using the phone in the bathroom, which is what I used to do a lot.

    3 - You have your whole life to fix this. I've found that the people who are successful in getting rid of this are people who learn how to fail. I've seen guys who fail a couple of times and just give up. Others have failed so many times (including myself), but just pick themselves up and try again every single time. The key is to learn something from each failure, set up the new detox in a way to deal with it. Over time you'll start noticing the changes.

    Overall I strongly encourage you to run a daily journal. Write about how you're doing, how you're feeling, the challenges you're facing, and what you're going to try to deal with them. It sounds lame, but it's incredible how useful it is in the long run.

    • Like 1

  5. Day 22-23/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) 
    Sleep before 12am: 11ish (longest previous streak: 4)

    No phone in washroom 25/120
    Umra resolutions: 10/90

    Work Hours: 7:40 (40:00 last week), 4:40 Monday

    Last few days have been a tad strained. I'm working, but with less focus. I'm not going to bed late, but I'm really pushing my own boundaries here. Yesterday I went to bed at 12:30. I'm still counting it, but I need to go to sleep actually before 12 to keep my streak.

    I think the sleep is getting to me overall. I usually need a lot and I'm sleeping slightly under 8 hours every day and it's been accumulating. It's enough to stay up after morning prayer, but I feel a 3-hour crash fest coming up like last week. Problem is, I can't really afford it productivity-wise, but it might need to happen. Tomorrow, maybe? I don't think I'll hold out until Friday.

    Yesterday I got only 4:40 of work in, but with good reason: we started our Islamic classes with a teacher again. So I had a 2-hour class and I spent time preparing for it (probably another 2 hours or so). So not too bad, but I do need to make that time up. And I have another class on Thursday. Oh boy.

    Anyway, things are not so bad, but I'm feeling a dip in motivation coming up. My prayer has been a lot more distracted as of late as well and I'm not liking it. I'm hoping it's just a matter of rest.

    • Like 1

  6. 6 hours ago, JustTom said:
    6 hours ago, Deku said:

    I'm just flat out ready to end this semester at this point.

    Duuuuude exactly. Please let this year end already lmao. 

    Lol. I hated university (I love learning... just not in school) and everybody kept telling me, "just wait till you get a job, you'll hate working and wish you went back to uni!"

    Nope. Never happened. Every time somebody mentions their uni studies, I feel thankful for not having to go through that again ?

    • Like 1

  7. 15 hours ago, JustTom said:

    Full Detox Day 57/90 | Got up: No | Pomodoros: 0 | Wasted Time: all of it

    Here comes the inevitable failure day. When I finally got up at 6pm, I was so disappointed by myself that I just sat around watching youtube the whole day. Now it's 1:30 in the night, I'm going to stay up long and make small steps towards being productive, I'm feeling a bit better now. No cravings towards gaming or gaming media. Just a bit of left-over depression. 

    I am reminding myself that I need patience. Even though I can just TASTE the results how close they are, it's still going to take time and there will be down-turns and that's okay. I will get there very soon, just not in weeks. Finish the remaining two courses, keep e-mailing people for supervision and finish the last 10 days of school. Don't worry as much about the lost social opportunities, they will come after the winter break as well. New ones, better ones, more of them. I'm doing excellent and I'm an amazing person so I'll just keep being me and striving towards my goals. 

    This is an awesome post. Just compare your attitude to failure now vs 3-4 months ago. You've got this man! Pick yourself up and keep going!

    • Like 1

  8. Day 21/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) 
    Sleep before 12am: 9 (longest previous streak: 4)

    No phone in washroom 23/120
    Umra resolutions: 8/90

    Work Hours: 6:50 (32:20 this week)

    Considering I was so tired that I slept until 12 and had some long conversations with the wife and still got all my umra resolutions done while going over the target 6:40 of work, I call this an awesome win.

    Now I have to do 7:40 today, but I'm up and it's early and I'm motivated, so LET'S DO IT.

    • Like 1

  9. 1 hour ago, JustTom said:

    Nice. Is this the online course you were talking about earlier?

    Yep. I'm working on a basic email sequence + landing pages. Almost done, I think. After that I need to get some essential content recorded. I think the idea of doing that scares me, because it makes the whole thing real. And doing this whole thing is a risk. A risk of spending time, money, effort, on something that may or may not pan out. So I think I'm putting it off because of that. But I'm running out of excuses to do it, plus I really think it can unlock a lot of other goals I have in life, so I think that motivation is starting to outweigh the fear.

    1 hour ago, JustTom said:

    Also, your video detox means absolutely no videos, right? Pretty hardcore haha

    It's mostly no videos. I watch stuff I have to for work and the like, obviously. Or a video a friend/relative sends me. And I watch SpaceX launch webcasts ? (because I"m a nerd and Elon Musk is a role model). Other than that, nothing. The easy workaround bug on BlockSite got fixed, so it's fairly annoying for me to watch something on this computer. But since the pilgrimage I haven't really wanted to watch anything. I don't know if this is permanent or not, but I'm using it while it lasts to get myself off of this nonsense.

    • Like 1

  10. Hey! Welcome to the anti-gaming grind ?

    A couple of tips:

    - You might want to separate YouTube out of your gaming detox. Yes, YouTube is a problem and it's also an inspiration for relapsing into gaming, but from personal experience (and those of other journals I follow), it's actually a lot harder to quit than games. I'm at nearly 120 days of no gaming, but I haven't been able to go off videos for more than 25 days. I would focus on not gaming (and maybe not watching gaming content on YouTube) first, then battle your video content problem once that's more or less under control.

    - There are some apps & extensions that can help with YouTube usage. Chrome has an extension called Block Site. You can come up with some random password and send it to a friend or a person on this forum. Yes, there are ways around it, but it's generally enough to keep me from just browsing to YT. There's also an extension that hides recommendations in YouTube, and can also remove comments so that all you see is the video you looked for and nothing else. THat's very helpful. And I definitely recommend getting rid of your channel subscriptions, YT history, and search history, and setting them to off so that your YT is always in "brand new" form. Do this even if you do decide to leave the YouTube detox for later.

    - Don't feel bad about failing. It might feel like you're not getting anywhere, but as long as you learn something about yourself every time, you're actually progressing. It might take a lot of learning before it enables you to actually detox. For example, if these friends are a bad influence, you should seriously consider distancing yourself from them. 

  11. Day 19-20/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) 
    Sleep before 12am: 8 (longest previous streak: 4)

    No phone in washroom 22/120
    Umra resolutions: 7/90

    Work Hours: 4:20 (Thursday), 1:00 (Friday) (25:30 this week)

    Thursday ended up being slightly less "productive" because I went to a study group. The group itself was 2 hours, but the friend picking me up was picking up a bunch of other people, so it ended up taking closer to 4 hours. So I think it's pretty good I managed to squeeze in 4+ hours as it was.

    I decided to take Friday off and overall it worked out well. I managed to accomplish almost all tasks I set out for the day. However, I ended up not resting as much as I was hoping to and some stuff kept me up past midnight (even though I was ready for bed at that time), so today I ended up sleeping 3+ hours after morning prayer AND I'm still groggy and lazy.

    I need to try to sleep a bit earlier today - even 11:30 instead of 12:00 should make a difference.

    Anyway, it's salvageable: I've got less than 15 hours to go, so need to put in 7 hours or so today/tomorrow and I'll cap off yet another 40-hour week.

    Also, I've put in a good amount of time into developing my business. I have a lot of the marketing collateral done, so I might even have time to work on generating some content. That way I'll be able to do some sales right away in the new year. Let's see.

  12. Day 18/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) 
    Sleep before 12am: 6 (longest previous streak: 4)

    No phone in washroom 20/120
    Umra resolutions: 5/90

    Work Hours: 7:05 (20:10 this week)

    Good day, got stuff done, so can't complain. Pretty much on target in terms of work hours. I'm thinking of taking Friday as my day off. I have Friday prayers anyway and that takes up at least 1-2 hours of my day as it is.

    No cravings.

  13. Hey Nathan,

    Welcome to the forums!

    Good on you for recognizing this at 17. Wish I did!

    While I concur with @S1.M0NK above (if you're addicted, it's pretty much impossible to be moderate in your use of games), at the same time I think we all have to discover that for ourselves. I thought that I could game moderately for a long time, until I finally had to concede that I couldn't. But that was my deciding this for myself, which is different from someone else telling me that.

    We do recommend that you start with a 90-day no gaming detox and that you keep a journal. The journal is super important as it helps you track your progress and pay closer attention to your emotions, triggers, negative influences, etc.

  14. Day 17/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) 
    Sleep before 12am: 5 (longest previous streak: 4)

    No phone in washroom 19/120
    Umra resolutions: 4/90

    Work Hours: 5:35 (13:05 this week)

    Went to bed exactly at midnight and so rescued my early sleep streak. Sleep's been good so far - time for morning prayer ends late, past 8am (it's winter), so I get 7.5-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in if I'm in bed by midnight and it's great. I haven't napped during the day and have been alert and motivated.

    Less hours worked for the day, but it's not a problem since I was taking care of my wife who isn't feeling well and spent 90 minutes on the phone with my parents. Considering I talk to them like once a month (they're all so busy), I'm fine with losing some work hours over it.

    Also, my goal for each day is 6:40 minutes, because that gets me to 40hrs in 6 days and gives me a free day to hang out and catch up on sleep. So thanks to my Monday's productivity, I'm only 15 minutes short of target so far.

    Keep in mind, I'm also spending time with my wife AND I'm spending nearly two hours a day on prayers, going to the mosque, reading Qur'an, etc, which has helped me re-focus my life a good bit (at least so far). So I think I'm doing pretty well productivity-wise.

    Let's hope I can maintain this at least for the next 3 weeks. Have to have a plan for what to do during my vacation time with family come Christmas...

  15. 19 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:

    Not sure where you got the idea I resent or have ill feelings towards these people, all I said is I was disappointed. You can be understanding and compassionate for your heroin addict friend who doesn't call you anymore to go out after you quit heroin, and at the same time be disappointed with the fact. And no, none of us here is a victim, we are all people who grew to have self-destructive habits. Neither are my friends victims. Technology, much like a knife, is a tool: you can use it for good or bad purpose. We are responsible, we ought to remember this, and in the same sense be empowered by it. Just like we chose to play all day before, we can now choose not to play. It's in our hands.

    Sorry, I saw the word "bitter" in your post, maybe that's why. I also saw other people's feelings on the matter.

    This is probably semantics, but I don't think victimhood = lack of responsibility. Obviously we're all here because we're taking responsibility for our actions and are working towards improvement. But at the same time, it's fair to recognize that there are literally trillions of dollars being spent on keeping people like us glued to screens (whether for games, videos, facebook, or whatever other form of entertainment), not out of some nefarious conspiracy theory, but because it makes money. So when the trillions win over human psychology, I think it's fair to recognize that I or some other person is a victim, but for me it almost becomes a battle cry to never succumb to this crap again.

    Anyhoo... glad you don't have ill feelings towards your gaming friends. Disappointment... yeah, I hear you.

    • Like 1

  16. I think you should look at it differently. It might help with getting over the resentment and other ill feelings towards them:

    At the end of the day, these guys are also victims. They're victims to the technology that's keeping them sucked into this crap day after day, hour after hour. You were there before, you know what it's like. You've had the realization that this is a waste of your life recently - maybe these guys will have the same realization tomorrow, or in a week/month/year/decade. But right now they're sucked into their virtual worlds, just like you were not too long ago.

    You also probably know well enough how gaming can destroy your relationships with the closest people to you in your life - your parents, siblings, significant other, friends, etc. It certainly made me a crappy husband, son, and brother. Did you care about those people when you were gaming? Probably yes. Probably a lot. But you cared about gaming more because it took over your life.

    So that's what these gamer friends are doing now - it's not that they don't care, it's more that they're completely sucked into their virtual worlds and forget what's going on on the outside. When you're in the world with them together, they see you and interact with you. Otherwise, they don't interact.

    I'm saying this because I did a similar thing to many of my friends. I was involved with a religious leader who was psychologically abusive. I was convinced to move to his community and live there for 2 years, always running around and doing this thing or that thing for him or for the community. I barely slept and had no life except as part of the community. I ended up very abruptly disappearing on many of my friends. I regretted it even while I was doing it, but I was so sucked into this whole thing that I just didn't have a minute to spare on anyone else. When I finally got out, I tried re-establishing contact with a lot of these people. Most of them didn't want to talk anymore. Some of them ignored me completely. I'm pretty sure I hurt a lot of them. But the thing is, I never stopped carrying about them - it's just that I was completely overwhelmed by an external factor.

    So my point in saying all of this, is that it's easier to look at your gaming friends with compassion. Understand what they're going through, let go of the hurt, but also distance yourself from them since they're not a good influence in your life. And if at some point some of them have the realization you had, decide to quit gaming, and reach out - be there for them.

    Aside from being the "higher road", this is also just easier to deal with long-term than resentment built up towards a whole bunch of people.

  17. Day 16/120 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
    Pomodorro Lvl 2 (56/100) 
    Sleep before 12am: 4ish (longest streak: 4)

    No phone in washroom 18/120
    Umra resolutions: 3/90

    Work Hours: 7.5

    I'm cheating a bit with the sleep before 12am thing because technically I went to bed slightly after 12. But it was a bit out of my hands and I wasn't staying up and procrastinating, which is what I'm trying to avoid. Either way, no cheats today or I lose the streak (otherwise I'll be at 5 days, which would mean beating my previous streak!).

    Did a lot of work today, including spending 90 minutes on working on my business idea. I'm finding more and more that I can't stay motivated if I don't do something about it. If I maintain this level of work on it, I think I should have enough stuff ready to hit the ground running in January (I'm not setting up a company until then to avoid doing extra taxes for this year, so I need to leave my expenses until then as well).

    Cravings were pretty minimal, aside from when I had to watch a youtube video for work: I nearly forgot about my detox and watched an unrelated video, but I held myself back. 

    I need to restart my pomodorros at some point, but I'm not feeling it at the moment...

    2 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:

    When I come back from vacation I'm like noooooooooo. So if you ask me, I will say yeah, surely it is your vacation, don't worry about it. Just keep doing it and after a few days you'll feel like working again! That's how it is for me at least.

    Yeah, that's probably all it is.

    • Like 1
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