karabas

Sorry to hear that man. Sounds like it was a turbulent relationship to begin with. Those are the tough moments to keep going, but it's also a great time to look back on and say "hey, I could do it then, I can do it now". So do it for the future you :)

Day 33/90 Sleep: 12:40am - 5:00am, 12:00pm - 3:00pm With Ramadan coming up, I really wanted to reward myself for the 30 days of detox before the fast started. So we went out today for food and then in the evening I spent a couple of hours talking to my dad (we talk once every month or so). And then it was late. So basically I didn't get any work today, but I'm OK with it because 1) I didn't have much work to do and 2) I need days like this to balance things out on occasion :) Productivity: Not much to speak of Cravings: Nothing because I kept busy. Feeling: A bit bummed about breaking my sleeping early streak. Tired. Otherwise, good. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 12 day streak (15 mins needed to be made up) Career-related study routine: 5 days Personal to-do list: 4 days 15 minutes of working on my business idea: 8 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: nope :(

Thanks! I'm Muslim, intermittent fasting is standard part of our practice, hence the question. For me fasting days (we fast during the day) are basically a write-off from exercise because I start feeling dizzy and nauseous from low blood sugar. Gotta try a new approach or maybe just do lighter exercise on fasting days: going out for a walk or something of the sort. My wife exercises in the morning right after starting the fast, but mornings are definitely not my "zone" lol.

Hey man! Just read through your journal, you seem to be doing well! Keep it up :) Interested in your intermittent fasting. How do you manage that with exercise? Do you eat ahead of working out?

Day 32/90 Sleep: 12:20am - 5:00am, 6:00am - 2:15pm Yeah, you read that right. I have no idea what happened, I went back to bed after morning prayer thinking I'll sleep another couple of hours, set an alarm, and then just snoozed for a long time, then turned the alarm off, and kept sleeping. My wife went to bed several hours after me and she still woke up earlier! I don't know. But honestly, I don't mind it too much. If I was that tired, then I needed the sleep. I know that I lose self-control when I'm tired, so overall being well-rested is a good thing. Productivity: I didn't end up doing that much work today because of the late start, but I kept all my habits up and made up some of the ones I lagged behind on. So overall, I'm OK with it. And now I'm up early and I feel good! Cravings: Fine, but I really gotta put my phone away in the other room for sure. I keep checking it all the time. Since I logged off of FB, I'm now checking the news a lot more often. But thankfully the news isn't never-ending like Facebook is, so it's already an improvement. Cravings for games and movies haven't been too bad. Feeling: Some fellow detoxers relapsing recently has gotten me worried about my own detox :( But overall I'm feeling good and optimistic about this. I find that being afraid of relapsing is overall a good thing. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 11 day streak Career-related study routine: 4 days Personal to-do list: 3 days 15 minutes of working on my business idea: 7 day streak (w00t! It's been a week... I've made some good progress) Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: 3 kindas! It's good, but I really need to be more strict about this now that I've gotten myself overall back into a better sleep schedule.

Day 31/90 Bedtime: 12:15am Woke up: 6:00 am, then slept 3:00-4:30 It was a good day. I fronted all my habits at the beginning of the day except the stuff I do at night as a habit. That means that I wasn't scrambling at night to finish up everything I needed to do. Productivity: It was great! Put in a good work day today. Just at the very end of the day, I got carried away looking up flight tickets to a place I really want to go sometime this year and I missed the time to do my evening habits. I'll make them up tomorrow morning, but overall I'm really excited about being able to go to bed on time again! Cravings: Still nothing serious. I logged off Facebook today, ahead of Ramadan, so that was a bit of a withdrawal process. I now don't have any major distraction I can make use of. It's good, it forces me to do the pomodorro technique. I even read an article about the Expanse today (one of my favorite shows) and I didn't have the craving to watch it! I'm surprised I've made this far without any significant difficulty. Feeling: I'm feeling good. Hopeful. I can get a lot of stuff done if I can just go to bed on time. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check (ish, need to make up tomorrow) Religious study routine: 10 day streak (but need to make up 15 mins) Career-related study routine: 3 days Personal to-do list: 2 days 15 minutes of working on my business idea: 6 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: 2 kindas! I'll take it.

I'm sorry to hear that man. Shake it off and keep going. Relapses happen - it's part of being an addict. You're never safe, not even after completing the detox and being clean for years. Your efforts weren't wasted. You're here at the forum, you're committed to quitting. Use the relapse as a learning experience - try to analyze what went wrong, what led to your relapse. Once you figure it out, find a way to prevent it in the future. It's a simple iteration problem: learn from the mistake, adjust approach, keep going. If you were tired, that's probably the reason. I'm most likely to relapse when I'm fatigued. I get lazy and don't feel like being productive and that means wanting to watch movies or playing games or something that's easy on the mind. If that's the same in your case, sleep before you get to that point. You might lose some study time in the short term, but you'll gain it in the long term because you won't relapse.

Day 30/90 Bedtime: 1:00am Woke up: 6:00 am, then slept 10:30-12:30 I'm headed to bed and it's just past midnight! Productivity: It's been OK. Need to focus on this part now if I can sort out the sleep long-term. Cravings: Occasional, when I get really tired. Feeling: Tired. Also, I made it to a whole month! Amazing! Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 9 day streak Career-related study routine: 2 day Personal to-do list: 1 day 15 minutes of working on my business idea: 5 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: kinda? (i'll count it) Today seems to be the day, but otherwise that's a good point. I'm not sure. I usually stay up late because I'm trying to finish work or one of my habits, but it keeps biting me in the butt, because then I get less sleep, wake up later, start doing work later, etc. If you've got ideas, I'm all ears :)

Yeah lol, I do that too. Just make a rule about not taking the phone to the bathroom with you. In general, I think having time off of technology helps. I try to eat without using my phone (just focus on the food, or on the person I'm eating it with - usually my wife) and I have some hobbies that are offline (like growing plants on the roof). At the end of the day, gaming and video addiction is really a tech addiction. It helps to avoid tech as much as possible if you don't need to use it.

Day 29/90 Bedtime: 2am Woke up: ~11am It's been an OK day. Productivity: I worked when I had time, but I ended up doing a bunch of other non-work stuff and didn't get as much as I wanted done. Cravings: Nothing much. Feelings: I just really want to finally go to sleep on time. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 8 day streak Career-related study routine: 1 day Personal to-do list: nope 15 minutes of working on my business idea: 4 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: NOPE

One of my favourite movies is "The Big Kahuna" with Danny Devito and Kevin Spacey. At the end, the Devito character talks about how if you care about people, ask about their family, their kids, etc. Ask about their lives, their work, their interests, etc. People love talking about themselves, but in the process bring up amazing stories, ideas, etc. On a spiritual note, ask yourself why you're here in this world in the first place. People go through their entire lives without answering that, then at their deathbed realize they've been doing it all wrong. Don't be one of those. Life goals and plans only make sense in the context of the big question: what do you want to accomplish in life and what kind of person you'd like to be at the end of it, and that only makes sense once you answer what happens after life's over. Another advice is travel if you're able to. But really travel: go on tours and experiences (there's all sorts of cool stuff on Viator and Airbnb now). If you're a curious traveler and not just a consumer traveler (go to a place, take pictures, eat food, done), you'll find a lot of new interests and ideas to explore.

Day 28/90 Bedtime: 1:00am Woke up: 10:45am I skipped day 27 because it was late and I was trying to just get myself to bed as early as possible. It didn't really work. I was still tired when I woke up for morning prayer (~6:15am nowadays), so I went back to sleep planning to wake up at 8, snoozed until 9, set my alarm for 10:30, and finally dragged myself out of bed at 10:45. Sigh. Productivity: Today was a total write-off. We had guests over, so by the time I had my breakfast, I had to help getting food and the apartment ready for them. Then after the guests some drama happened that basically led me to being finally available with some free time by 9pm. At that point, I haven't done ANYTHING in the day, so I had to catch up on my habits, make up the habits from the night before where I just went to bed, etc. I essentially had no time to work at all. Cravings: Didn't have time for those Feelings: It's a bit of a tough day. The problem with freelancing is that your income depends on hours worked. So when I don't work, I start freaking out. My whole life plan for the next year is based on maximizing income (to save up money from school). So far I'm just covering my expenses and debt payments. So I got really stressed out. But the good thing is that the day is over. Tomorrow's a new day to get back on the horse. I took out my prize bag of chips and am eating now as a consolation instead lol. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 7 day streak (~ish... I need to make up 15 minutes now) Career-related study routine: this needs to be reset Personal to-do list: nope 15 minutes of working on my business idea: 3 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: STILL FAILING

Day 26/90 Bedtime: 4:30am =/ Woke up: 10:30am Decent day, minus the going to sleep late. I did a good amount of work, took a break from the computer to do some offline work on my course and then went for a walk (wife joined in). It was nice. I'm finding that I can't stay glued to the screen for a long time, I need breaks or my ability to focus starts to falter. Ended up staying late because wife was dealing with some stuff and I had to talk her through it. I don't mind it, that's what the relationship is for in many ways :) Just really need to get back on track in terms of sleep. Suggestions are welcome! Plants are doing well, I'm having a lot of fun with it. Setting up a compost bin on the roof - vast majority of our waste is organic, so this will help with both feeling bad about how much trash we produce and with getting some nice compost for my plants :) I have some more plant ideas coming up :) If we weren't planning to move within a year, I'd set up those square foot planter thingies, but those would be impossible to move. So it's pots for now. Productivity: pretty solid. I did the work I needed to do, I was fairly focused when I did it. Cravings: nothing serious. Getting to 4 weeks of this detox now and am getting really scared about relapsing since this is about the time it would happen normally. But so far so good. I think the journal and the community really help! Feelings: I'm good. Things are progressing. I'm noticing a difference in my ability to focus on tasks I don't like. I know from past experience that as long as I keep this kind of productivity and focus up, I can accomplish a lot. Hopefully even more over time. Good sleep is essential for that. So I'm optimistic. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 5 day streak (~ish... I need to make up 20 minutes now) Career-related study routine: oops! I'll make it up today to keep the streak up or will have to reset this counter Personal to-do list: finally! 1 day streak 15 minutes of working on my business idea: yes! 1 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: MAJOR FAIL

I can relate to this too! When I was gaming or watching movies and my wife would come to talk to me or ask me for something, I'd get angry, because she was preventing me from my entertainment. I couldn't tell her that this was the reason, so I'd just be super impatient with her and lash out for no reason. I've been a better human being since I stopped gaming because it removed this aspect of my character. Congrats on your second day! Step by step :) Try not to be miserable about studying. It helps to think of your long-term goal, where you want to be in life, etc, and then connect what you're doing now (studying) to that goal. It helps me to do that with tasks I might not want to do normally, because I want the goal, so the means take on the importance of the goal. Also, since you seem to be doing a lot of memorization-type study, have you tried spaced repetition cue cards using an app like Anki? Look up the concept of spaced repetition if you haven't. It'll save you a TON of time and you'll actually be able to remember stuff you learned after the exam :)

Good luck on the 365 day goal! It's ambitious, but totally doable. I'll be following this journal. But as others have suggested, don't overwhelm yourself. You need to have stuff that you do during the day that you enjoy. Not gaming or stuff similar to it, but either other stuff you already know or new things. For example, I've been growing plants at home for a while now, but after quitting games, it's become more of a thing for me. What's great about it is that I enjoy doing it, I'm off the computer, and it's a de-stresser. So find some activity, preferably offline, and use it as a way to rest from the grind. Also, while you're studying or doing something else that's difficult, consider using the pomodorro technique. Do periods of X minutes of intensive focus, followed by Y minutes of rest. Over time, you can increase X and decrease Y as your mind learns to adjust to better focus.

Day 25/90 Bedtime: ~2:30 Woke up: ~11:30 Ok, so today ended up basically being a day off. I woke up late, had unexpected visitors over, then spent most of the day out with my wife. Had to stay up to keep my habits... not sure if I should've done that or just have made them up later. Productivity: None to speak of, but I guess I could use a day off on occasion Cravings: Too busy doing other stuff for those! :D Feelings: It was nice to take time off, but I'm itching to get back to being productive tomorrow. Also, I'm REALLY tired of going to bed late. Short of an emergency, I HAVE to go to bed before midnight tomorrow. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 4 day streak (still 10 minutes left to make up) Career-related study routine: 3 day streak Personal to-do list: didn't forget this time, but didn't have the time. will try again tomorrow. 15 minutes of working on my business idea: wasn't the day to start new routines :( Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL Thanks, man. Good luck with your detox, too!

Day 24/90 Bedtime: ~2:30 am Woke up: ~1:00 pm I was clearly running low on rest and I had the opportunity to catch up on some sleep, so I did it. Went out with the wife for some food afterwards, so I only got to the productive stuff later in the day, but I still got the stuff I need to do done. Productivity: I haven't been wasting that much time - Facebook's the biggest time drain for me right now. I don't know why I keep putting off signing off from it. I should get a head start for Ramadan. Otherwise, I spent a bit of time taking care of plants upstairs (I replanted the rosemary into a bigger pot - didn't realize how badly root-bound it was! I hope it's not beyond thriving). Cravings: None today! Feelings: Still good. I'm really bipolar about work stuff. Sometimes I'm excited about how well stuff's going, other times I'm super worried. I've had 15 client interviews in the past month. It's amazing, it's way more than I normally have. 2 of them resulted in some work, but so far that's been limited. I've had a lot of work this week, but I can foresee not having as much in the coming week and it's making me nervous. Another thing I've realized is that I need to make 15 minutes of working on my new business part of my daily routine. I've been itching to work on it, but I rarely do. So I just talk about doing it and never get stuff done and it's worrying me deep down. I gotta have some movement forward towards the goal. Assigning 15 minutes every day to a task has been working really for me in other stuff. I've reviewed memorization of Qur'an, for example. Over ~3 months of just 15-30 minutes a day, I memorized ~6 pages and reviewed about 40. So it means I can read about 45 pages without mistakes and quite smoothly! Same thing with work - a little bit of learning has helped me develop new skills and gain new insights. So 15 minutes of working on my business should give results in the long run, and I'll feel like I'm moving foward. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 3 day streak (still 10 minutes left to make up) Career-related study routine: 2 day streak Personal to-do list: haven't done this one again. forgot. Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL

Hey man, I hope everything's OK. Don't drop off!

Hey man, everything OK? I was away on a trip and it looks like you haven't posted since. Come back to us, bro!

Day 23/90 Bedtime (yesterday): ~1am Woke up: 6:30am (+1hr nap in the day) I've been back from my trip for a few days now, just getting back into the swing of things. As you can see, late nights are still an issue =/ But it's mostly due to work, which I could manage better, I think. I'm still Youtube & Game free! It's been 3 weeks now and this is about how long I lasted the previous attempt at self-control. Let's see what happens! Productivity: Awesome. I've been killing it at work overall, I just have a lot of distractions (that are not my fault). But I've been putting in a solid amount of hours, I'm actively looking for more clients, and things are moving forward. The weather's really nice out now, so I've been really getting into growing stuff. We have a huge roof that nobody uses except us and it gets sun all day. So I have some lemon tree seedlings growing, a big rosemary plant, and now recently planted onions, tomatoes, basil, and sage. I'm also trying to grow carrot greens (for seeds) from carrot tops and date palms from date pits. Let's see how that goes. Cravings: they come once in a while, but it's OK. Nothing seriously hard. I'm noticing I'm using more and more Facebook all of a sudden, which sucks, because I hate facebook and pretty much all of social media. Ramadan's coming up and it's definitely in my plan to not log in throughout the month and in general, except for Messenger, which I use often for good things. I also haven't been doing the whole 1 hour of non-computer stuff after two hours of work, although I do try to take non-computer breaks. I'll try to be better about it going forward. Feelings: tired, but happy with how things are going. I gotta make sure to get rest, though. My self control slips when I'm overly fatigued. Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 2 day streak (ish, need to make up 15 minutes tomorrow) Career-related study routine: 1 day streak. I like the new course I'm taking, so this should be easy to maintain Personal to-do list: haven't worked on this since vacation, need to re-instate. Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL

@Natelovesboardgames: thanks, I'll check it out! I have a strong suspicion a LOT more people are dealing with this stuff than they let on. JoshD, good going man! But don't let up on the journal - it's a key part of this :)

Day 4/90 Bedtime (yesterday): ~3:00 Woke up: 12:30 I seem to be failing at proper sleep habits, but a lot of it is due to the fact that my schedule is currently irregular. We're flying for our trip tomorrow and there's still a lot to figure out. On top of that, I'm trying to finish up some stuff work-wise. But I told my clients I'm traveling, so I'll be work-free, and we have to pick up a relative from the airport on Sunday early morning, so we kinda have to fall in line in terms of early sleep tomorrow... at least I hope. This is the biggest crux of my getting my life in order, after quitting games/vids. Cravings: practically none. So far this has been easy... and it's kinda worrying me. Why is something I've struggled with so much suddenly so easy? Will it stay this way? I do catch myself having impulses to game or watch something, but it's kinda like swatting a fly away, it's not just a peep on the monitor and then it goes away. I'll be monitoring these - I think that once they no longer happen is when the detox has really worked, even if it takes more than 90 days. Productivity: I've been able to do some work today, but with the late start today and packing/planning for the trip, I wasn't able to get as much done in that sense. Still, I feel like I didn't really waste that much time today and overall it's great! My biggest time waster is now Facebook. I try to keep my phone in the bedroom during the day, but I still check it on my laptop occasionally. I really should log myself out - and I'm planning to do that at least for Ramadan (just a month away), but hopefully earlier. Feelings: a bit anxious about the trip (I always am), otherwise good! Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 2 day streak Career-related study routine: 4 day streak Personal to-do list: 4 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL Thanks man. Yeah, it's tough, and I still don't get nearly as much done. I always aim for going to bed early, but then something happens and I stay up. But what that means is that after 12am, I'm not super productive, but I still end up going to bed late. Really need to get this straight, but hopefully our travels will force us to.

Day 3/90 Bedtime (yesterday): 3:30 Woke up: 1:30 I was so exhausted today I slept through my alarm, which is pretty shrill. I guess I needed the sleep. Today's been another one of those days. I had urgent tasks like taxes and prepping for my trip and I barely got anything else done. I'm realizing I need to do better with these personal tasks in terms of staying organized. When it comes to work, I'm good about taking breaks via Pomodorro, keeping track of time, doing non-computer stuff. But when it comes to personal stuff, I normally don't spend this much time on it, so when I have to, I just kinda work. And the worst is I don't focus, I just jump between tasks and it's super disorganized. Cravings: very little. I had to keep my phone with me today, so I ended up doing some Facebook, which means I watched some videos there. That wasn't part of my detox plan, so I'm letting it slide, but I need to get off of Facebook anyway. I've been meaning to for some time. The news just make me depressed. Also, the Expanse Season 3 is out and I'm a big fan, so that was a bit tempting, but I'm settling for reading recaps instead. That's how I stopped myself when I was binge-watching Lost on Netflix a few years back. Productivity: it was OK, just chaotic. But I got a lot of stuff done and tomorrow should be a proper work day. Looking forward to it! Also, I really AM going to bed soon now, so hopefully I'll push my bedtime by another hour towards my goal of 12am. Feelings: happy the day's over, looking forward to tomorrow! Minor habits: Morning/evening spiritual routine: check Religious study routine: 1 day streak Career-related study routine: 3 day streak Personal to-do list: 3 day streak Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL (but getting closer!)

Congrats on getting this detox going! I can totally relate to this. I noticed that I'd always get cranky if my wife would come into my office when I was gaming. I wouldn't want her to see it, so I'd switch my screen to something else like my email. But I'd be waiting for her to leave the entire time and it'd annoy the crap out of me. And obviously she could feel it. So one of the things that has happened since I quite gaming was that I no longer have this attitude to her. In fact, I do the opposite: now when I need to take a break from or whatever else it is that I'm doing, I go to her and chat or give her a hug or or a kiss or something. And I feel like it's already making a difference in our relationship. I'd definitely recommend spending time with her when you have cravings, especially since she knows you've decided to do it. At the end of the day, it's the most important relationship your life.

Day 2/90 Bedtime (yesterday): ~4:30am Woke up: ~10:00am Yeah, today was a write-off in everything but keeping away from games and vids. I had to wake up early for a doctor's appointment, then had a bunch of errands and the like to do. I got home in late afternoon and was completely exhausted. On top of that, I still have a bunch of stuff I had to do outside of work: taxes, prepping for the trip, etc. So I spent the rest of the day either doing those things or procrastinating and trying to keep myself from relapsing. Cravings: moderate. I'm definitely far more vulnerable to these when I'm tired. I think what happens is that any serious task becomes difficult and requires focus since I'm sleepy. As a result, my craving for distraction kicks in. However, I did avoid the worst of it by doing non-game stuff. For example, a dream of mine is to buy some agricultural land and build a house on the property. So I like browsing through property advertisements online, looking through the pictures, etc. Productivity: It depends on how you look at it. I didn't work very much today (or the day before... or the day before that). But I got a lot of urgent personal tasks out of the way, so hopefully that's something. And honestly, I was so tired, I'm just glad I didn't relapse. Also, it's 2:08am right now and I'm gonna head to bed soon, so I'm going to bed a lot earlier. Hopefully this is a start in the right direction. Feelings: I'm just tired. Otherwise, happy with being able to restrain myself despite the fatigue. I've got hope for this detox! Minor habits: Morning spiritual routine (check) - although I made it up later in the evening cuz I was in a rush to the doctor Religious study routine (fail): no way I was going to restart this today Career-related study routine (2 day streak): I actually used this as "good distraction" when I was feeling cravings Personal to-do list (2 day streak): I spent way more than 30 minutes on this today... and probably will tomorrow, too. Major Habit - Sleep by 12am: FAIL