NEW VIDEO: Why You MUST Quit Gaming in 2025
WorkInProgress
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Posts posted by WorkInProgress
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4 hours ago, Hitaru said:
I'll try to keep it in mind as much as I can while I battle the horrendous imposter syndrome
Like really, it was two nights ago when I was also going over it. I have an amazing love partner literally beside me when I was thinking this, an inspiring mentor (that's you @Cam Adair!), a supportive family, great friends, an awesome community and a life full of courage and overcome challenges. I mean, we live in the Age of Criticism and even I have the impression that I'm getting praise all the damn time. There's something I must be doing right, right enough to at least get a good night's rest. Why can't I just chill? It will be fine! Always better than when I was gaming at the very, very least. What the heck is so wrong with me that deserves this... contempt towards myself?
You know, somehow I still feel like that scared, angry and impressionable wide-eyed child from too many years ago, listening to his father that had kneeled in front of him, words of the old man coming out his throat sore from whiskey, trying so unsuccessfully to conceal his satisfaction about how his son was declared "gifted" and, in some way, would never have a normal life. So, so special.
I guess I didn't want to see it, the few times I noticed. Among university students, I was still a child. In front of soldiers, a child facing them. A naked young man, eyes and lips gleaming with lust, and a child trembling in shyness beneath him. God damn it. Always been like this. I'm experiencing life through the subconscious of a neurologically mature 6 year old.
It
Hi it is important to grow up and to grow into a man. I am right now explore the meaning of it and listen and read material and books with that topic because in some way becoming a father makes you realize you need to grow the fuck up. This video could be interesting for you too thats why embedded it here.
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I listened to this video and it hit home with me. I think it could be interesting for you two. Look into it if you'll like.
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On 17.12.2017 at 1:36 AM, Cam Adair said:
Thanks for sharing your journey brother. No Sugar is a tough one because sugar is in basically everything. Great way to learn more about food and nutrition though.
Yeah I took it easy because in reality it is no processed sugar with a few exceptions (I still eat some ready made sauces once a week or every two weeks because some dishes just taste right if they taste like my mother mad it :D). I eat some fruit sugar but because of the fibres it isn't as stimulating as sweet snacks. So I still eat sugar in reality. Just not the classical fast processed glucose/fructose mix which is added to every fix-made meal. I cook more for our family and don't do desserts or sweets beside sometimes fruit salad. This makes it pretty doable. I am tempted to continue after the 90 days with some cheat days. Maybe sunday pancakes from time to time. Or at a social event if someone made a special dessert.
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https://bebrainfit.com/increase-dopamine/
Great article about dopamine and things we can do to increase the amount and effectiveness of dopamine. It basically explains wiht a lot of sources every good habit I tried so far
Check it out for motivation and information.
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1 hour ago, Hitaru said:
[I can't shake off the feeling that I'm privileged as fuck and that I'll be harshly criticized for my beginnings in later years, but what else can I do? Such are things, I have to make most of it. I was born in a rich country, in a mid-class family. I didn't choose the opportunities, but it's my moral responsibility to seize them and provide value, for the sake of a better world than what I first found. Makes sense?]
Makes sense!
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11 hours ago, Mimetic said:Thank you so much @Hitaru. Its always a pleasure to see you in my journal
I was the hell that you needed. (Moby)
Day 43/20
When i came home from work i started listening to music. It was first to get me into mood before starting to write. In the end i didnt write one word but listened to music on youtube for 5 hours. And omg it was so awesome. I havent done this for such a long time. So many good memories, so many emotions. I can finally feel again. Just then i noticed again how numb i felt the last couple of years. That gaming has nearly taken my life when i sat there at the beginning of 2017 and just wanting to end it all. Omg so sad and unbelievable -_-. Iam still pretty sure that iam gonna relapse between christmas and new year, cause then i will leave the place iam now and be in my own home again with my PC. But even that...idk. I think there is not really a way back from this conciousness i got now. Seriously. I would like to know if anyone else felt like he/she has been awaken from a deep deep dream.Maybe when i sit in front of my PC i will not even want it anymore. Iam someone, i need always try things to see how they feel. But to be save i have asked some friends if they want to meet with me during the time iam there. Its better to be cautious i think. The less iam home the better. And i really missed them. Iam very happy i found this forum. I read so much here and its a great inspiration. I hope i can brainwash myself a bit more until next week
This feeling crept on me over a while (even before I quit all games). Games doesn't seemed fun anymore and I felt always bad if I played them (couldnt't stop to either though). As I commited to the detox and actually managed to stay away from most of my binge habits (did some anime/youtube/random stuff) I felt like I could not only feel stuff again but actually think for my own for the first time in a long period. Like the autopilot was off and I had to steer my emotions and brain on my own again. Great feeling to have :).
That was what drove me back to not gaming even after I played a bit after the detox again and again. I just feel better if I am not gaming at all.
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Welcome to the forum. Such changes in life bare the possibility to change yourself for the better. If you don't know how to start besides deleting your games here are the fundementals explained: https://gamequitters.com/video-series-1/
Do you plan to have a daily journal rhytm? If yes I would advise your to plan a specific time for it (after breakfast, before going to bed, something else which suits your lifestyle). THis way it becomes a habit and way easier to follow through.
As I did this detox over 2 years ago I found especially LoL hard to quit. Instant gratification and the possibility to dig myself in another world and subculture and escape from the things I feared I couldn't do, had become automatic. Especially the relationsship with my wife did really suffer under this. Use this shitty experience of getting dumped to become the most awesome version of your self. If you'll need anything feel free to ask here or somewhere else in the forum and I'll be happy to lend you my brain. I try to look especially often in the new journals to give feedback, because it helped me so much as I got feedback from people who don't get payed for it.
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Detox: 16.10.2017 - 16.01.2018 (Porn and unproductive Youtube added for last month)
Week 8 (15.12.2017-22.12.2017)
Still no sugar.
I am more productive then I was before and using my time more efficiently lately. I use the time I have mostly to spent time wiht ym family and doing chores which is fine by me because my family is still priority nr.1. If I have some free time liek right now I should do more programming to finish that damned skill before christmas. But right now I think posting on gamequitters for half an hour is a quite good past time for relaxation. Soon there will be christmas. We allready have a beautiful christmas tree standing in our living room and I am really happy to have our first christmas as three.
Things are still sometimes challenging and especially my mobile usage has to decrease. I often think I am productive (with reading ebooks on my phone or listening to audiobooks) but in reality it leads to me beeing not present and taking longer for easy chores or not paying enought attention to my wife. I try to read on kindle app with an audiobook playing on 2* speed if I have some time for for it. Maybe this will help to remember topics better (because two senses are used).
I didn't do porn and wasn't really unproductive wiht youtube but isntead selected the content I consumed pretty well. Still room for improvement there though. I think if I keep getting tougher I can spent time consumed in time producing more content (programming writing). Especially the realisiation that to teach is a good way to learn stuff and keep it in memory should empower me to produce more (tutorials or summarys of content I consumed). Next year I'll have a fairly big commute to work. I think I'll use my new laptop then to write things out without internet. Will need some planning though (downloading sources etc.)
I am pretty active wiht housework and helping my sister renovating and carrying my babyboy around so I am feeling ok with my missing excercise right now. I also loosing weight ( am around 78kilo) right now. So I feel like I am doing not optimal but not bad either on the fitness front.
It feels like I am on track and I just need to steer a bit from time to time that I end at my destination.
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On 15.12.2017 at 0:11 AM, Hitaru said:
Returning, still not even 50% available. News soon-ish. Cause there are news.
Missing you
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18 hours ago, Some Yahoo said:
Feeling better today.
Hey I wanted to note that you have [For Gamers] and [Parents of Gamers] on the site, but my beautiful, charming and talented wife also enjoys reading the posts here. Yes, I have found it very useful to come clean about my gaming with her and share my struggle and this site with her.
I did the same after a few months of posting in secret. Was really liberating and brought us closer.
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16 hours ago, cordharel said:
Thank you guys.
Day 16: I might just be going crazy. My stupid ubuntu now only has sound on my left speaker and I have spent the last 3 hours trying to get it work again.
In the end Ubuntu disabled my keyboard. I needed to reinstall this thing.
Imagine a lot of swearing words in those sentences that I left out on purpose.
But hey, listen to all those IT students in my class! "Oh linux is so great, Windows sucks hard, ooohhh Linux Linux ooohhh only newbies use Windows".
I can't remember having such stupid issues with windows.
Yeah that is sometimes the thing. It has it benefits but it can also suck dick if you don't like that admin/bare bone stuff. Linux Mint is awesome. Their are other similar beautiful and low maintenance distros like elements os or many others. Windows can be a fine choice and has some nice software developer programs. These zealots of any technology are just annyoing. For some cases some linux distros are better for some ohter cases Windows is a great choice. It is just a tool not a vengeful god people!
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14 hours ago, Mimetic said:
Iam just scared..as always...that some day someone will discover iam just an imposter who knows nothing about the things that she has been studied so long. Maybe sounds silly but this is exactly my feeling.
I know this feelng just to well. Fater studying for arounc 7 years of an engineering subject I am afraid that I know nearly nothing of the subjects. But I am sure it would come back way easier now if I needed the knowledge. And iI did some career switiching anyway and it seems to workout without me knowing anything of this stuff again:)
If your job doesn't pay enough to be sustainable search something else. You cannot forget to fear the opiton where every thing stays the same. It is sometimes riskier to do nothing then to do something bold.
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On 14.12.2017 at 8:08 PM, dirkj3 said:
Thank you for your encouragement and advice
I understand that fear of failing is there especially the vicious circle that I have been trapped for a long time
The thing is how can I get stronger to go through tough days?
You get stronger if you go through tough days. Not the other way around. Make a plan for the next time you would usually binge and do something else. It doesn't have to be productive. Maybe go for a walk or visit some friends or family. Anything but these bad habits you build over time. This isn't the way out but you plan with the cognitive part of your brain an alternative in front and then you'll need less willpower to evade your negative behaviours. If your able to do this a few time it gets easier and easier. The key is to plan in front when you are still in control so it is very easy to follow through with it. A side effect is that you'll become more mindful of your own behaviour which is always a good thing.
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On 13.12.2017 at 4:47 AM, taichi said:
Day 0
Shitty week. YouTube, games, porn and general self neglect.
Sry to hear about your relapse. What happened? Was their a specific trigger? Thinking about the relapse can help you to prepare for future similar situations.
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On 12.12.2017 at 11:17 PM, dirkj3 said:
Hello
I m feeling very miserable right now
It is.the first time that I didn't fix that misery by pmo or gaming.
I feel that there is a big stone in my throat and there is a lot of negative self talk here.
It all started with me wanting to learn and I went in my room to use my mums phone to time time for certain sessions one thing let to another and I was binge watching yt videos.I felt miserable a out that.
those carried over to several things in my things that I have done afterwards.
I ended up running away from learning for.the exam because I know that the exam won't be going great anyway.
I admit and wrote down that I have made a mistake and then I continued until 10pm.
Tomorrow I'll be having an exam as well as on thursday.
I ended up crying. For one that I haven't felt that miserable before and for second that I getting my emotions.
Though I did well on the lab day I felt miserable and I don't know whether that's a thing that you get positive feedback but in the evening you feel like shit( sorry for that word)
That is exactly what I have done so many times. Escaping from stressful things and feeling shitty about it afterwards. It is hard to face the fact that yourself aren'T what you want to be. Not the one who is easily doing the things you want to do. It shouldn't be a surprise but somehow it feels bad everytime again and again.
The thing is that this fear of failing is a root cause of procrastination. Seems illogical but it is still true. You'll need to look at these exams and challenges as a way to test your knowledge and to motivate you and not as a exam which evalulates your. It truly doesn't. It just evalulates your knowledge in a distinct topic. That has nothing to do with you beeing awesome or shitty. It is a chance to see where your knowledge needs to be improved and give you the chance to improve it. And be it only your studying habits. See the benefit in the challenge and don't be afraid. There is so much to gain and in reality very little to loose.
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Good job. Now it is time to do a great study plan and start small with it. Otherwise this will overwhelm you. Don't postpone starting that is the most important part
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On 9.12.2017 at 3:27 PM, Mimetic said:
"Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart " (Fight Club)
Day 33 without gaming
Day 11 since decided to quit
Shitty shit. 33 days. It feels like forever. Since yesterday i want to play so baaaaadddllyyyyyyyy. It takes up my whole thinking. After christmas i will be 2 weeks off to my own appartment away from work where my PC is. My addicted brain already has everything planned. Wow it feels like someone else is living in it and doing things i dont want
I dont think i will be able to control myself. Now its so easy cause i simply cant play even if i would like to. Oke i can play silly mobile games but i never was into them and it never was a problem...so i ofc dont even want to play them. I only want the forbidden things 
I try to remind myself about all the bad things that came from my addiction. It doesnt work now^^ I begin to ask myself if those years of compulsive gaming have made radical changes to my brain. I feel like i cant concentrate pretty well. I forget so many things. Iam even scared I have some kind of deadly disease cause i am not able to write as before too.
It seldom helps to see the bad things gaming did to you even if this isn't intuitive you'll need to see the good things that come from not gaming. You want to become another person. A person free from clutches or addictions. Free to do how you like. Free from having to do things only because the are comfortable and you are used to it. A person with high self-esteem beeing in control of his own body and mind.
What your feeling right now is just the detox. It is normal to struggle. But this will pass as soon as you are able to accept that this haven't to be you anymore. Sitting around drinking and playing meaningless games just that you don't feel lonely. Thats you only you if you choose to be that person. You can be the proactive person who uses the free time to do something awesome. Or you can choose to relapse. It is your choice. Everytime you choose against relapsing, everytime you try again after you relapsed you stop beeing that person who is ruining his life with addictive behaviour and becoming this second awesome person.
Btw. this doesn't mean that your accomplishiment your clan or your time gaming was bad. You took a lot of great things out of it and it helped you in your past. But you can honor this in your mind and choosing a different lifestyle for tomorrow. I like the time I had playing with friends online and competing for endless hours. I liked how I felt if I watched these replays and beeing part of my little niche gaming culture. I am still so much happier how my life is now after I freed myself from the burden to have the pressure to game all the time because nothing else felt satisfying. These things aren't contradictory. Remember the good but make your decision anyway. Not because you have to, but because you are free to choose it. Because you chose it at the start of your detox. You owe this to yourself.
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30 minutes ago, giblets said:
My life seems a bit "busy" right now, even though I don't think it actually is, so I need to declutter my days and make it more streamlined. This should also have a by-product of letting me achieve more with less by forcing me to sit with tasks, thats when I was super productive, when I was hyper-focused on a small number of chores/tasks/to-do's, rather than nibbling at each one which I have gone back to now.
I know this feeling. Sometimes prioritization works great sometimes you just do a little bit of everything and need to get back on track to see improvements. Still a little bit from everything is better then doin nothing. I wish you success at going into productive mode again.
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Not gaming is a win even if it sometimes doesn't feel like it. Hope you become well again soon.
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The reason why you should quit the detox and my biggest problem in self-improvement summarized.
https://simpleprogrammer.com/2014/12/29/want-accomplish-goals-become-finisher/
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Welcome I am looking forward to check out your daily journal
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1 minute ago, AngryFrog said:
Languages I got to know were PHP, JavaScript, CSS and Python, since I did most of my "coding" on Linux, I even learned some scripting on Bash, but due to all those issues, and gaming addiction I switched to Windows and forgot most of what I've learned during High school years, but now, I really wish to come back to it. Are you learning a language currently? or did you in the past? which one?
I also do my "coding" on Linux. I learned a bit of C in University so I thought it would be good idea to start with C/C++. I did some object oriented samples and semi-useful projects but never produced anything real. I also tried some pyhton and bash scripting. But after I found a job as a atlassian software consultant I reorienteted and right now just do learn by doing projects. Right now I am programming an alexa skill for my echo which will give me the age of my newborn child in weeks (I am always struggling to remember :D). To do this i learn some basic javascript and node.js. I recently am in strong favor of doing small projects and learning on the fly what I'll need to know instead of trying to "master" a programming language which is in the end an impossible task. This way it hopefully sticks because I apply it immediatly.
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Also have these friends and coulnd't understand it either. BUt well I just can't play normally or in moderation. I always binge and obsess and owuld still do if I would still game. Some peopel have healthy relationship with gaming others don't. The same goes for alkohol.
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I am very interested in software development and do some programming myself. What language/tech stack you did programming in the past?
My Progress
in Daily Journals
Posted
What do I commit to?
I will keep this journal on a weekly basis to evalulate my progress and to invite like-minded people to give their input and their advice while I strive to reach my goals. I will invest atleast 15min in this journal every week not matter what happens.
What will this journal be about?
It will be about myself. About where I am, where I want to go and what I do to get to that place. I will use it to write out my (s.m.a.r.t) goals and projects, my progress, my failures and my successes. I will also write out my reasons for every goal I want to reach. It will be as specific as possible and goal oriented. It will document my progress over atleast the next year. It will motivate people to do as well or better then me and communicate with me over similar goals.
What will this journal not be about?
Rants about my private life or my fears. This will not be a tool of reflection of feelings. This will not be an intimate journal. It won't be personal or aimed to be entertaining.
Why don't I write in a private journal?
Because I want the approval of my peers and love feedback. It motivates me to improve and keep the commitments I make for myself.