NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Paul A.
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Posts posted by Paul A.
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Day 20
I'm not feeling so great. I was invited to a birthday party that was today, but because my parents are incredibly busy, they wouldn't be able to pick me up. My friend told me he would find someone who would pick me up, but he never called me. Obviously I'm bummed that I don't get to go to the party, but it also makes me feel more lonely. This is the only party I've been invited to all year. When I was younger I used to get invited to parties all the time, but since middle school I've barely been invited at all. I've been invited to a party once each year of middle school. What sucks is that I was invited by the same person last year, but I couldn't go either because my grandfather had just died. I don't know what I can do.
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Thanks for the advice. The problem is I am always stuck at home because my parents don't allow us to go out, and I don't get any money. I've tried to talk to my parents about it, but they aren't being supportive. So that destroys any hopes of a cool hobby. But I do want to learn piano, the problem is getting my parents to buy me a keyboard, but I'm working on that. Also, since I can't leave the house the only social environment I'm in on a day to day basis is school, and it's just too uncomfortable for me there. So unless something changes about my social situation, there's not much I can do. Thanks for the help though.
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I couldn't post again yesterday, but I don't feel like giving yesterday a regular entry, I'll just say that I had a lot of homework, and I was distracted by watching Family Feud and Jeopardy. There, that was yesterday. Nothing interesting, as usual. But I think I'll go ahead and post my entry for today now, since I don't think anything much will happen later.
Day 19
Another day. Nothing special happening, as usual. I felt extremely lonely today, like I have no real friends. I realized today that most of my conversation comes from butting into other people's conversation, and rarely does anyone try to initiate conversation with ME. But I'm too scared to try and start a conversation, because what would I talk about? Nothing interesting happens in my life; I wouldn't know what to say. I'm afraid of what people will think of me. Plus, the public opinion of me isn't very good as it is, due to a number of events that occurred prior. That's my problem. I don't know what I can do.
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Welcome to the forum!
I enjoyed your story, I wish you the best in your journey. I want to learn piano as well, but I haven't been able to talk to my folks about it yet. I would also advise putting a journal up, it's really helpful. Anyway, I wish you luck
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Couldn't write yesterday, so I'll give a run-down of it today.
Day 17
Nothing out of the ordinary happens in my life. Yesterday was like any other day, really. I went to school, came home, went out, then did my homework, then I slept. At school we made chicken nuggets in Home Economics class, they were good. Then I got home and I was actually on the chat, mostly with @Remigjus and @SuperSaiyanGod , we had a good chat. Then I was doing my homework, but my mom said we had to go out, so I did (reluctantly). I was terrible, as usual, but I played with a friend from school so it was kinda fun. I ended up ranting to him about how unfair my life is, and I even talked (more like, SCREAMED) about a game I used to play on ROBLOX. I don't know why, it just came out. Afterwards I came home to do my homework, then I slept.
At school, I've been feeling more and more lonely every day, mostly when I'm sitting in class with none of my friends around. I feel like I have no real friends. I do have a couple of friends, but I don't see most of them at all outside of school. I've only been invited to a party by someone at school once this whole year (it's on Friday at SkyZone, I'm excited). It is completely my parents fault that I can go almost nowhere outside of school, if not for that I might have more friends and more meaningful friendships. It's so unfair how everybody else gets to hang out with their friends after school, and they get money, and independence, and I don't even get a fucking allowance and the only place I can go to outside of school is the basketball court, which is like a 2-minute walk away. I just get so frustrated that I was born into this life. Everything that my peers take for granted, like their phones and money, I just WISH I could have. It's a "why me" scenario. I know that there's no real answer, but it's really affecting me. I feel so alone in the world.
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Day 16
I hate Mondays. Especially coming back from a 3-day weekend. And ESPECIALLY when I had several cups of caffeinated soda the night before (I can't help myself
). As you can imagine, when i woke up, I was very tired. Lucky for me, all it takes is a shower and I'm (somewhat) energized. Nothing unusual happened at school, just a normal day. After school I watched a bit of TV, then I helped my little brother with his homework before I got to work on mine. I don't think I did the best I could on it, because since I barely got any sleep the night before I can hardly think straight, but it is due on Wednesday so I have another day to work on it. Keeping myself occupied on school days isn't much of a problem for me because:- I'm in school most of the waking day.
- Family Feud is on during the week.
- I don't have much energy to do much of anything since I never get enough sleep.
- Homework.
Even so, I was hit with some cravings, but they were pretty manageable. I have decided not to game at all during school days, and if I do happen to go back to gaming, it'll be on the weekends, but only after I have completed all my chores and homework, and when I am feeling really bored and have nothing better to do. We'll just have to wait till the weekend to see what happens.
Well, that's been my day. I think I'll try to do the 7-min workout tomorrow, right now I just feel so lethargic.
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Try reading fiction. It is a cheap way of entertaining yourself and way better then gaming away all day. I think fiction is underrated. It helps you to evolve more imagination and gives you topics talk with comrades at school(if you read popular series). I would commend the book Eragon if you like medieval fantasy and dragons. Divergent is a science fiction/fantasy trllogy I enjoyed. Both are addressing young adults and are easy reads without being boring. There are ton of great and fun books in every local library. Just ask where the books for young adults are stored and I am sure you find some ones you will enjoy reading.
No one my age reads...
It's mostly true, not many people around my age are big into reading, but I do pick up a couple of books from time to time when I go to the library. The thing is, I only pick up the books which seem interesting to me (which turns out to be not so many), and it actually takes me quite a bit of effort to do something like READING. So, yeah.
Don't give up. Hard times shouldn't make you quit detox, they should remind you about bad impact games cause. It's good to write reasons why you've started detox, this will be a good "panic button" once you feel cravings.
Thanks for the encouragement. When I am hit with cravings I do try to remember the reason I stopped in the first place, as a way to keep me going. The real problem is the boredom I deal with on a free day, like the weekend. Those are the times where it is especially difficult for me. I'm thinking that I might go back to games, but only on weekends, I made a rule for myself not to play games at all on school days, and I will only play on the weekends after all my chores are done, and when I have nothing better to be doing.
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Day 15
I wasn't in the house much today; I actually go places on Sunday. First I went to a church service, then I was home for 3-4 hours before I went back to church for a youth service. I spent most of my time at home catching up on some shows. I had some cravings, but I ignored them. Just got home from church.
Honestly, I'm thinking about going back to gaming. I just can't seem to find any fulfilling alternative activities. This is the same thing I struggled with when I tried to quit the last time. I feel great the first couple of days, but once I really get into it, I'm overcome with intense boredom, and with it, cravings (really bad ones). The good news is, my pastor is going to hook me up with some piano lessons sometime soon, and I might be able to convince my parents to buy a piano for me (or at least a keyboard), so that will solve my activity predicament. Problem is, I don't know how soon it will all go down, so for the time being, I'll either have to keep enduring the boredom and the cravings, or go back to gaming, and the latter option is seeming like the most likely course of action.
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Bored...
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Day 14 (2 Week Mark)
The cravings seem to be getting worse every day. Today just might be the closest I'll ever get to a relapse (apart from an actual relapse, of course). They seem to be fueled by intense boredom. I've ran into a sort of roadblock on my music, problems with the software itself that I don't know how to fix. Outside of making music, there's not much else for me to do. There's my problem
Today started off like any other weekend day, I was in my bedroom, on my phone, for about an hour and a half (I think I'll have to change up my weekend morning routine). Then after I brushed my teeth I was mostly texting my "friend" (using the term loosely), plus watching my brother play. I ran into some more trouble with people over Kik, I think I'll just uninstall Kik to avoid all of the insults and such. Then, I tried to work on my music, but a problem I've been running into is whenever I overlap two notes, a horrible crackling noise is generated, so eventually I just gave up. This is when I had some serious cravings. The boredom I wad dealing with was driving me crazy, and I had some incredible cravings to play. I ended up going to the Roblox website, but I didn't play any games, I just messed around on the catalog and looked at some groups and profiles before I just looked up some random shit on the computer. Regardless of the issues I was running into, I was on LMMS for the final 20 odd minutes of screen time I had left before I ran out of time. Now I'm just waiting for the day to end.
I'm not sure how much more of this I can handle. I need to find some replacement activities, and quickly, else I'll either relapse, or die of boredom.
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I need help, and I need it fast,
because I don't know how much longer I can last.
Hey, that rhymed! In a post I found
It said you were into making Hip Hop sounds
Do you write your own lyrics? Give it a go
Give me a holla, give me a yo, yo, yo!
So yeah. You could try writing a rap
You sure don't need a computer for that !
Umm...
I've tried writing rap lyrics, actually. It wasn't really my thing, I wasn't really into it. I didn't like it. Any rhymes I write are purely coincidental. Nice rhymes though
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Agh... It's a vicious cycle
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The cravings are back, and they're really bad. I'm questioning whether I even need to quit. There isn't much else I can do other than gaming since I'm stuck in the house all the time, and the few things I can do, I can't find the motivation/energy to get them done (reading and finishing my homework). I'm not working on my music because whenever I overlap two notes, the software makes a horrible crackling noise, and I can't figure out how to fix it. I need help, and I need it fast, because I don't know how much longer I can last.
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Ghana
Cool! I'll be going to Tanzania and Zanzibar this year in October. Maybe South Africa as well.
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Ghana
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Day 13
Not one of my better days. I had huge cravings, luckily my dad set up that time limit on the computer else I very well might have relapsed.
I was incredibly bored for a chunk of the day, since my computer was locked. I did play with my littler siblings for a bit, and I watched a couple episodes of Key and Peele when it was on, but otherwise I wasn't entertained for a big chunk of the day. When the computer finally unlocked, my brother just HAD to go and spend half an hour playing Roblox, so I had to wait before I could do anything. I did a bit of homework, but I couldn't bring myself to work on my music. Afterwards I had to go out to the basketball court, because my mom said we had to, and it was actually pretty fun. I busted out my African accent and we had a good time laughing at the jokes I made, plus just how funny my voice is.
Today proved to me what a challenge quitting games can be. Turns out that without school or any chores to do, I'm quite susceptible to cravings, and possibly relapse. I really have to talk to my parents about the time limit, or maybe some other way I can pursue music. I don't want another day like this to happen again.
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Actually, I'm more into hip hop music, but thanks for the advice. The problem is, my parents don't even give me the chance to earn money. They really don't want me to have independence
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Well... I suppose I can give talking to my parents another try... My homework is to complete some review sheets for our Geometry final coming up, it's due on Thursday but I want to get it done as soon as I can, I need to look up some terms to help me do them, I could use my phone but I would prefer to use the computer, the issue is my stupid brother who always hogs the computer ????
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Well... I've tried to talk to my dad about the limit, but he isn't willing to remove it. He introduced the limit when he thought we were playing games too much. I've tried to convince him that I'm serious about quitting games, but he just won't believe me. The only way I could work on music without a computer is if I could get a sampler/synthesizer, or at the very least some piano lessons and a cheap keyboard, but my parents do almost nothing for me, when ever I want them to buy something or do something to be, they never get around to it, no matter how much I pester them.
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I need the computer to do my homework
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I'm having cravings, and they're pretty bad. My mind is trying to convince me to play with things like "I'll only play for 30 minutes," but I know what's gonna happen. I'm incredibly bored right now, I can't make any music until 3 when my computer unlocks, and even then I have homework to do, so I might use up most, if not all, of the two hours I have to use the computer. I'm stuck.
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This happens to me a lot too. I had dreams that I was playing Roblox, and they captured the exact feelings I had when playing, and I felt horrible because I had relapsed less than a week into my detox, until I realized it was just a dream. I was surprised by how realistic it was, to the point where I believed it was real life.
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I lived in Africa for 2 years
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I smoke tobacco pipes
Smoking is bad for you
90 Day Detox Finished
in Celebrate
Posted
Good luck