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Stev1989PL

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About Stev1989PL

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  1. Finished day 10 > 80 days to go Entry: The day went fine I guess. It was pretty interesting at work though I am starting to get more on my plate. I am supposed to make a project extension for Jaguar Land Rover not knowing the system, where to find essential data, involved people and so on which is uber frustrating.. Probably usual characteristics of any corporation and approach in form of "sink or swim". Anyway I will need to resolve it somehow or fail during the process. Time will tell which actual scenerio is gonna be realized. I dont care in particular to be honest. Huh, I dont c
  2. Finished day 9 > 81 days to go Entry: Feeling super tired so I am gonna make it super brief as well. Lack of motivation continues, I have trouble getting up in the morning, definitely way passed the time that I should already be up and running. I also get very easily annoyed which result in backfire at the one person I wouldnt like it happening to - my girlfriend. As she had a bad day too today I was really struggling to give her effective support.. At work I am also doing bare minimum atm. I am really looking forward to some turning point but I suspect it's not gonna come soon.
  3. Finished day 8 > 82 days to go Entry: 2nd week has started of gaming content ban I set for myself. At the same time it is getting tough at my new work, I am getting more responsibilities and are to be expected of more things to fulfill. I can feel in away as if the more I get on my plate the more I wanna quit right away.. How ironic is that in comparison to gaming addiction? I would leave this question to dwell on more.. How likely we are to give up the things that would improve our lives longterm at first hardship and how unlikely we are to do so when we are gaming..? Anyway some
  4. Finished day 7 > 83 days to go (actual 1st week off full cut off gaming, nothing related to it) Entry: Well it seems like yesterday in a way.. Lack of motivation continues, though I am starting to notice that gap between what I am supposed to do at the moment (like the need to focus on certain task at new job position > which forces me to read for example the entire conversation between different parties related to resourcing from Monako to Poland with delivery to Spanish plant) and what tickles my fancy in gaming world. @DaBest Thanks bro I truly appreciate your insight her
  5. Finished day 6 > 84 days to go Entry: Starting to feel withdrawal effects, definitely more gloomy mood, relatively depressing aura and lack of motivation.. I can feel the emptiness when I have nothing to fill my time with which was previously occupied by game related breaks and so on. Even writing this journal entry comes hard and I need to force myself to do it. Well.. I am still staying away from the activity that dooms us all which is in itself a success but aint feel so atm.. I have low energy and I know in my head that I should keep going and I shall do it further still. But at
  6. @Caleband @Pochatok Thanks for the reply guys, I appreciate you sharing your stories and insights. I agree that knowing what triggers your urge to go back is a key. I have gone to psychologist with my different problems which indeed intensified the need to play in virtual world to the purpose of escape. He also mentioned and marked the necessity of knowing what pushes you to play. As you pointed out @Pochatok feeling good etc. was also dangerous. In reality it just meant "ok, I am doing better" and in parallel as self-sabotage stating "I have earned few minutes of pleasure" > whi
  7. Finished day 3-5 > 85 days to go Entry: I am still hanging on.. I know it was supposed to be daily journal but I had a party on Friday - friend's birthday - drank too much and there was no way I could collect my thoughts into something of readable insight after that day. Saturday on hangover and another party (though no alcohol this time), Sunday spent on ice bathing (which became extremely popular in my country these days - more memes each days lol) and realizing one of my girlfriend's wish which was getting a cat. I got it from adoption and made here a surprise. Just as she was abo
  8. Thanks for kind words Pochatok and taking the time to reply! I will do my best, to be honest I wasnt expecting feeling this good just being here and doing actual baby steps towards the goal. We will see how it goes. I have started my journal. Knowing that I have committed here really gives unexpected boost of motivation! How are you doing so far? You mentioned less relapsed and with briefer periods of time. Could you elaborate?
  9. Finished day 2 > 88 days to go Entry: Second day behind me. I have experienced some mood swings. Deliberately staying away from my mobile phone today. For the first time I haven't taken it with me to the toilet as usual (which afterwards triggers willingness to check favorite youtubers, streams and in the end install HS and start sneaking behind my girlfriend's back while playing). Replaced the mobile with paper book about addictions bought in Empik specially for 90 days reboot occasion as the additional booster. I gotta admit I have urges and I find myself to grab my phone o
  10. Finished day 1 > 89 days to go In the beginning few words as how this journal is gonna look like. - I am doing this purely for my myself, for my own purpose, writing from the bottom of my heart, not seeking anyone approval, cheers or special chapel to be built - though if it motivates at least one person somehow I will build it myself - the idea is to finish EACH of my day just before going to bed with journal entry - even if there is gonna be just few words like "feeling like I am scrubbing the toilet with my teeth", whatever - the idea is for me to last all 90 days (I have comm
  11. Hi Guys/Gals, I would like to make a formal vow here and commitment before all of you as I stand in the challenge of breaking the chains of my addiction lasting since my childhood. I have been playing games since being 8-9years trying to build proper structures in Settlers not knowing the English language (I am Polish) wishing that this is actual Bakery and grains from Mill will be delivered there. After that mostly MMORPGs (WoW, L2, AoC, LoL, HS etc.)/ Anyway it lasted my whole life (33 now) with constant rebounds affecting all my potential, studying, relationships with myself and o
  12. Screw it, lets do it !! As for the beginning I'd like to mention I am little tipsy right now but whatever.. I am gonna be honest at least. I FUCKING DID IT !! 90 DAYS OF NOT GAMING AND NO GAMES-RELATED STUFF (like websites, streams, youtube etc.) This is the first resolution I have completed since a veeeeery long time. Why did I manage to do it? Honestly? SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! burning back of my scull..... Being 27 years old, living my with parents, treating job as the minimum to survive and as the mean to continue gaming. Constantly feeling sorry for myself and comparing myself to others. I h