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Everything posted by TheNewMe

  1. Day 94: 90 days has come and gone. I guess I should feel good about having achieved something that a few months ago I would have thought impossible, but in reality, I just feel...indifferent. Maybe even more stressed out than when I started. For me, it was never about reaching 90 days--rather, it was about bringing myself closer to achieving my dreams. Dreams which still feel as far away right now as they did when I first started this challenge. Since graduation, many of my classmates have gotten married, finished ranger school, found amazing jobs, and done other incredible things with their lives. Many more have already gotten their white coats and are well on their way to becoming doctors. Meanwhile, I haven't even managed to clear the first milestone towards medical school yet and the end is still nowhere near in sight. I know life is a marathon, but at this point, almost 23 years old and going nowhere, it's hard not to be a little discouraged. But at the end of the day, I guess that's life. Those people probably worked harder than I have ever worked in my life, and they deserve to be where they're at. I understand that now. That's why I'm going to keep this challenge going for as long as it takes, be it 900 days or even 9000 days. I will keep working hard at becoming the person that I want to be, because I only get this one life to do it. Here's to another 90 days!
  2. Thanks, it sucks but what's done is done now. Just going to try to keep the positive attitude and work ethic up, and hope that whatever road I'm on leads someplace good.
  3. Day 83: Damn. Just got off the phone with my advisor, and as it turns out your grades for graduate programs aren't even considered by medical schools. I may have just taken a massive two year step backwards in my application process. F****. It's days like this where I honestly feel like I may never get to where I want to go after all.
  4. Day 82: I'm going to grad school! Just got my acceptance letter for a two year Master's program in stem cell research starting in the Fall. Was initially a bit pessimistic about my chances because I'm missing a bunch of prereqs and there are only 9 spots, but had my interview last Friday and I guess it must have gone really well. I'll be spending the next year in the classroom getting those grades up, followed by a 12-month internship at a stem cell lab. After that, I'll have my graduate degree, and be in a real good spot to shoot for medical school. Can't wait!
  5. Keep it up! You're definitely a living example to us youngins that you're never too old to start something!
  6. Hope this goes all the way to Day 90! Keep it up!
  7. Day 77: (Wait what) Hello all, it's been a while--hard to believe that the last time I posted was over 2 months ago. Let me catch you up on what I've been up to. I'm still in pursuit of the ever-elusive dream of getting into medical school. The last time I updated here I was in the middle of studying for my medical school admissions test, and I'm still doing that, but after talking to a counselor I learned that I need to get my terrible GPA from college up as well if I want any chance of getting in. For that reason I did end up enrolling in classes at the university right next to my home. As a result, I'm currently working hard studying for classes AND keeping on top of the medical school admissions test material AND working (more on this later), so please forgive me for not having the time or energy to post on here in a while. ^__^ Thus far going back to college has been A LOT of fun. It's actually really surprising because I used to hate it so much, but I truly enjoy my classes and I haven't missed a session yet after almost 8 weeks of classes (as opposed to regularly playing hooky back in the day). My teachers are very generous, caring, and intelligent people, and I love going to office hours and having conversations with them about the course material. More importantly I've also met a lot of people who, like me, lost their way for a bit and are trying to find their way back. I always knew there were others, but meeting them in person and getting to share our stories of the past as well as hopes for the future has really helped me get my confidence back. Studying still sucks, but when you have others to share your pain and activate your competitive side it's a little better. Among all the people I've run into is a guy named Charles who shares all my classes and thus has become something like my IRL duo queue partner and best friend. We push each other constantly to work hard and stay on top of the material, which is working wonders for my grades--I'm currently sitting near the top of the gradebook in each one of them. I mentioned before that I've started working, and that was a bit of an inevitability seeing as my bank account is almost empty. As a result I've started tutoring Biology (my best subject), as well as SAT I (our college entrance exam, for all the foreigners here). Thus far it's been really rewarding as well as quite profitable (~30 dollars an hour from multiple clients each week). I've always loved teaching, and the fact I can do it for $$$ now is quite awesome. Tutoring has actually made me way more $$$ than I know what to do with, and I've started using a bit of it to invest!....in my personal appearance, that is. I've always hated those Youtubers that care way too much about their appearance and vlog constantly, but they actually do have some great tips for beauty and hygiene products. As a result I've started a basic skincare routine for my acne-covered face, and added a couple more items to the shower that I use a few times a week. I've also learned a bit about basic fashion (haven't quite progressed past flannel/plaid and a white tee, but I'm working on it) which at least helps me not want to sink into the ground when I go out in public. Even at this point I still get the urge to game sometimes, but I have found my perfect nicotine patch--chess. I don't spend hours playing it like the old days of LoL, SC2 or RS but solving a couple of tactical problems every once in a while does help blunt the gaming discomforts when it gets real bad. Kind of a strange solution, and it definitely wouldn't work if I wasn't so busy with other things, but as they say if the scarf fits then wear it. 90 days is within sight! I'm going for it! As always thanks for reading, TheNewMe
  8. Day 17: It's a good day today, did extremely well on a practice question set and got a lot of cleaning done. Plus my Vikings won in what has to be one of the greatest moments in football history! I may feel bad about myself on some days, but at least I can say that I'm not the poor safety (#43) who missed a wide open game-winning tackle...
  9. Day 13: Found an amazing motivational speaker on Youtube today whose words really resonated with me. It's hard to distill an incredible 16 minute speech into a short post, especially with my piss poor writing skills, but in summary he brought up the following points: -Many people (myself included) were raised by their parents to believe that we're special, that we can have anything we want just by wanting it. The truth is we aren't special, you can’t get everything, and getting the good stuff in life only comes from patience and failure. Try to embrace these things. -Many millennials (again, including myself) grew up in a world of instant gratification, where we could rely on things like technology and social media to make us happy and fulfilled. Want to buy something, order on Amazon. Want to meet a girl, swipe on Tinder. Want to watch a movie, download it online. Feeling bored, play a game. The problem with these instant gratifiers, however, is that they can only provide you with temporary satisfaction, not the lasting kind that you can only get from developing genuine relationships or mastering a skill. -In order to get this lasting satisfaction, ditch technology and get your ass outside. Talk to people--even if it's awkward and messy, don't worry, that's normal and totally okay. Learn to be patient and work at things even if good results don't come at first. -Realize that real satisfaction won't come immediately, as it takes a long time to build. In his words, "realize there is a mountain behind the summit." I personally loved this point. Every time I've tried to turn my life around I've given up because I haven't seen the results I want to see, but maybe it's because I haven't stuck to it long enough. This definitely gave me the motivation I needed to keep pushing forward on this detox. That's all from me for today, see you all tomorrow! Video for anyone interested:
  10. Hey all, Haven't posted on here in a loong while (sorry about that :/)! The truth is that shortly after my last post I ended up relapsing and gaming for about 2 straight days, then on and off for about another week. By the end of the relapse, I was back to square one again--horrible sleep schedule, filthy room, behind on my studies, boxes of junk food all around me. Square one, after being so close to making it out of the hard part of the detox. What snapped me out of the trance was the realization that my life had degraded to the point of utter shit, that I had a big test coming up in less than 150 days that I had barely started studying for, and that if I didn't get my shit together immediately I would fail my test and be stuck a loser forever. That thought drove me to start up my 90 day detox again. The good news is that this second try at 90 days has been far easier than the first. I'm already wrapping up Day 12, and so far I've been able to consistently stick with this schedule without too much difficulty: 6:30: Wake up 6:30-7:30: Light cardio (jog, basketball, etc.) and breakfast 8:00-9:35: 95 minute study session 9:35-9:45: 10 minute break 9:45-11:15: 90 minute study session 11:15-11:45: 30 minute break 11:45-13:15: 90 minute study session 13:15-13:25: 10 minute break 13:25-14:55: 90 minute study session 15:00-17:00: Gym 17:00 onwards: Shower, Review, Clean, Break, Bed 22:00: Lights out Weird schedule I know, but specifically designed to mimic the 7.5 hour long sausage fest that is the medical school entrance exam. Anyways that's about it for this update, hopefully this new detox is able to stay intact until the exam (at the very latest). Now that I've finally made it to Day 12 again I'll try to update daily once more.
  11. Day 12: Spent the last week on vacation to the Caribbean, and as a result haven't posted in a while (oops). I've also fallen a little behind on my studies, so I'll be looking to go hard at it after New Years. On the bright side though, my detox is almost at 2 weeks, and I fulfilled a lifetime goal by getting my open water diving certification! Next bucket list goal is upgrading it to advanced open water, but unfortunately probably won't be able to do that for another few years...
  12. Day 6: I don't know if it's just me, but now that I'm closing in on a week things feel more there than they did before. Food tastes better. I can get excited about things that don't involve gaming, and my dreams feel a lot more attainable than they did just 6 short days ago. Getting myself to study is easier. Before I used to mope around for hours on the internet trying to get the motivation to get started, now I can roll out of bed and open up my textbooks without even thinking about it. It's gone from "Oh god, studying" to "Meh, let's get it done" which for me is a huge improvement. It's a double edged sword though, in that every one of my problems that I've chosen to ignore is in my face now. Above all is the crushing loneliness. When I gamed I had friends that I could hang out with on a regular basis, but now all I have to keep me company on a weekend night are my books and the glowing screen in front of me.
  13. Day 4: Studied and studied and studied today. I'm super rusty right now, my last formal class being over half a year ago, but the material is slowly coming back to me. The nonstop gaming recently has also really messed up my endurance. My eyes hurt, my neck hurts, my head hurts, and all I want to do is sleep. But hey, at least I was productive and at least I didn't quit and go back to gaming this time. That's something. Pillow here I come!
  14. I've got some exciting and terrifying news...I've done it. After putting it off for the last 3 years, I finally registered for the MCAT exam (for those who don't know, this is the test I'll need to ace in order to qualify for medical school consideration). My test is on June 1st. I am scared completely shitless right now, but if I can somehow pull off a miracle good score it'll all be smooth sailing from here until medical school admission. Throughout history there have been stories of conquerors overcoming overwhelming odds by burning their boats (their only chance of escape) behind them. Cortes did it in 1519 and ended up conquering Mexico, and Alexander the Great did it in the 500's before proceeding to conquer all of Persia. It's described in Sun Tzu's The Art of War as the ultimate technique for commanders to eradicate any notion of retreat from the minds of their troops and commit themselves unwaveringly to the cause – Victory. Defeat isn't an option when you have nowhere left to run. I've just blown the last of my savings on this test registration. The registration is not refundable. There is now nothing I can do but confront one of the giant monsters I've used gaming to hide from for so long. The boats have been burned, and the only way left to go is forward. Wish me luck guys...
  15. Have a great time man, upload pics
  16. Day 2 Starting to understand that quitting gaming is the start to a better life, but that it by no means guarantees it. Unfortunately I didn't get a lot done today aside from the odd errand, but will come at tomorrow with a vengeance and hope things improve. Edit: After writing this I got so mad at myself that I forced myself to drive to the gym and knock out a workout. I guess something productive did happen today after all, hopefully can keep it up tomorrow.
  17. Day 1 Going to try to get in the habit of posting here every night before I go to bed. Finished the purge I started yesterday. I blocked every site I could think of that could remotely trigger me to go back to gaming, anime, etc. The only site I left available was Youtube, but I did unsubscribe from all the gaming and anime channels (left sports alive for now though). I also boxed every manga, plush, figure, and collectible I've gathered over the years, and posted them all on Craigslist. Even after taking all these precautions though, sitting in front of the computer today was pure agony. It was too hard to keep myself from idly surfing the web, so I forced myself to get up and be productive today. And surprisingly, without the internet to distract me I actually did pretty well--today was definitely one of the few good days I've had in a long while. Some of the things I did: - Cleaned my room. Made my bed, did the laundry, and folded the clothes after they were done. Picked up all the garbage and threw them out. - Found the medal that I won for finishing a marathon over a year ago. Totally forgot I even had it. Did a small DIY project to pin it on my wall where it belongs, using a curtain hook and some nails. - Checked and sorted the mail - Finally got around to finding the charger for my bluetooth headphones that have been dead for the past few weeks - Thoroughly cleaned the egregious pile of dirty dishes I had sitting around. Discovered that the dishwasher is quite handy for that - Went grocery shopping and planned out/cooked meals for the rest of the week (basically just hardboiled eggs, chicken breasts, rice, and assorted vegetables). I'm going to try to do a semi-clean bulk over the next few months, something I've always wanted to do since I'm extremely short and skinny. Will go to the gym tomorrow and make use of my 24 hour fitness membership that has kind of been going by the wayside--no more excuses! - Opened the window in my room. I've never realized how stuffy and miserable it was in here, not having left for an extended period of time in quite a while. - Figured out how to restring my guitar that I broke over two years ago - Set up a piggy bank (actually an old package envelope) for myself. A gopro is something I've always wanted in order to document my travels, so I'm using it as an incentive to keep this streak going. For every day the streak stays alive, I'll put a dollar in the envelope. I'll ultimately need to keep it going for about a year in order to cash out, but hopefully I'll be able to get there. Too pooped right now to study, but hopefully will be able to make up for lost time tomorrow with all the chores done today. Hitting the hay now, thanks for reading. Regards, WZ
  18. Hey William, best of luck!
  19. Day 0 Decided to quit gaming today (throw in anime, youtube, netflix as well). As a gaming addict/weeb/compulsive bingewatcher I've lost countless hours of the best years of my life, as well as hundreds if not thousands of dollars. I am now 22, six months out of college, unemployed, living in my mom's house. My friends are all in graduate school or working incredible jobs, and I find myself lying to them constantly so they don't know what a failure I am. Lately I've found that I'm starting to suffer from increasing social anxiety and depression. Talking to people and summoning the effort to get stuff done is incredibly difficult. I know I need to be productive and improve my life, but all I want to do is game and binge. I do have dreams. I want to go to medical school and become a doctor serving the poor and middle class. I want to travel the world (in fact, the only times I feel alive aside from gaming is when I research and look at all the wonderful places there are to visit on this planet). I want to go outside, make more friends, fall in love, do all the shit that normal people do but that I've never done. It just feels like every day these dreams get a little farther and farther away, and I guess that's why I'm taking this step now. I don't know how to get out of the hole I've dug myself into at this point but maybe this is a step in the right direction. Thanks for reading, WZ