Some Yahoo

Wow, this is a great place. I'm going to guess that you quit games and filled the time with solo activities, like mindlessly browsing the internet. Finding meaning in life is literally a lifelong task. One thing is certain however, you're not going to find meaning in the virtual realm. All you'll find there is pointless distraction. I suggest you look somewhere other than the TV, computer, console, smartphone, etc. Get a job or volunteer. The best way to make your problems seem small is to help others with theirs.

This is the real world. Just like alcoholics that have to walk by liquor stores, we have to live in a world where there are lots of games. Just think of games as poison, and it gets easier to resist the temptation. Imagine how this all plays out. You give to the kickstarter They flop like 90% of all kickstarter campaigns. problem solved. They release and you get the super-early adopter mega pack or whatever they are offering. the game is way less cool than you anticipated, you regret spending the money you can stick around hoping it will eventually get better - wasting years of your life. you quit and lose all the time and money you put in. The game is awesome and you waste years of your life on it. You have no friends, your job sucks, and now you've missed out on a big chunk of your real life. Note there is no outcome here that is "You become successful, are in great health, and have a wonderful life." you're just peeing your TEM (time energy and money) down a hole.

No. It just means you need to keep trying. Have you heard the phrase anything worth doing is worth doing well? My version of that is Anything worth doing is worth messing up 50 times to get it right. Instead, Just think of the big chunks of your real life you're sacrificing for this game. Real life skills you can learn, people you can meet, grades you can turn from a D+ to a B. Gaming is trying to rob you of all that. Clearly you already realize that gaming is no good for you. That's a good step. Try again, but when you think of games try to remember that they are the enemy of the whole and successful person you can become. Imagine yourself missing out on skills, friends, college, great jobs, promotions. That's what's actually happening when you devote thousands of hours to games instead of real life. That's what's happening from the first second you start playing. Learn to associate the feeling of the controller in your hands with danger. Like it's an evil parasite that doesn't destroy your body, it eats your life. Games hate you. They are like a sexy assassin. You may want her bad, but she's going to wreck you and never make you happy.

Completely agree. And I'm not against meds being used (under a professional's guidance, of course). And I don't even care if I get called mentally ill or whatever. The only thing I would have trouble with (and this is just me), is thinking of it as a pure sickness. Curing sickness is a passive thing in my mind. When I get a cold, There's nothing I can do but wait for the meds and my immune system to deal with it. No amount of commitment and willpower is effective here. I view game addiction as more related to being fat. I made myself this way, and even though meds can help, it will be more an factor of opposing my own bad habits actively that gets the results I want. Sick just happens to you, this is something I did to myself., Also, I want to say something about antidepressants. This is totally just my (an one friend's) observation, but antidepressants do NOT cure depression. It's much more like they pry open a door that can allow us to walk away from depression. But we still have to want that and make the effort to actually do it. As an example, before my meds, I would open a project for work, and the fact that I had trouble finishing it last time I worked on it made it impossible for me to start work today. I sat in front of it, I grabbed the mouse, but it felt like I would have an aneurysm if I actually made my brain think about it. With the meds, I open the project and I do make myself think about it some days, and other days I don't. While it's no longer impossible, it still takes me conscious effort to make myself work.

Well first off... Secondly: you're right. What dopamine withdrawal feels like in your head is, Everything is so boring! Which is another topic Cam covers ably. It helps for the detoxee to recognize and prepare for that. The hobby list is a great place to start. While I like the idea of pushing to recognize Gaming addiction as a health issue, because then health insurance could help, I dislike the idea because being told you are just sick can make a gamer (me anyway) feel like it's out of his control and he can do nothing to combat the issue. The last thing that would be good for me would be to tell me to kick back and let the meds fix me. I need to take charge of my situation and be active about defeating it.

This is an advanced topic, and I am no expert on the subject. So take this as musings. Dopamine and Serotonin. What are they? Using a rock music analogy, Serotonin is Don't Worry, be Happy, and Dopamine is Born to Run. Or, Serotonin is the phrase I feel good while Dopamine is the phrase This is gonna be GREAT! Note that I capitalize the names of the chemicals. That's because I have come to think of them as entities, or people. So. Normal brain response goes like this: You hear, "We're going to Disneyland!". On the day you pile in the family minivan (my fantasy, my car), and all the way to Anaheim you're thinking "This is gonna be great!" (Dopamine response). During the day you get dopamine reactions to every ride and show, until you actually get on the ride. I would postulate the rides, the lines, the waits are all calculated to give you Dopamine surges until the actual ride. In fact, if you could just walk up and get on, the ride would be way less exciting! Imagine you're walking the park and you see a roller coaster with no line, and another with a 2 hour long line. You'd actually be attracted to the long line one just because the line was longer. After all, with all these people in line, it's got to be better, right? In the hotel in the evening, you're wiped out and happy (if you are a normal person). This is the Serotonin response. Until tomorrow morning. Video games never give you the Serotonin. They are designed to keep you thinking something great is just about to happen, but never actually pay off fully like you were hoping for. Que for a dungeon. (Dopamine) Instance starts. (Dopamine) You get a bunch of easy enemies (easy for the group, deadly to an individual). Also the enemies are designed to whittle down your armor and health over time. Things get gradually harder, building up to the boss. (more dopamine) You get to the big boss, which takes 3 tries to kill. (Dopamine, dopamine, dopamine) The round ends and one of two things happen. You get the upgrades you wanted so you can go on to the next dungeon, or You don't get the upgrades you were hoping for, maybe you'll get it next time! Queue again! Dopamine is the reason you never get a you have won, the war is over and peace reigns in the land! message. Serotonin means the game is over, you can unsubscribe and get on with your real life. If the game even has an end, you get a score, but if you try again you might get a better score. When you have been living on constant Dopamine for 14 hours a day for the last 12 years, you get used to being constantly in an excited state. Then when you have to go to school, take out the trash, study, work, these things seem supremely boring. That's why gamers constantly think about gaming while they are doing anything else. I have to tell you, this all seems like a totally normal response to me. Who seeks out the most boring life possible? Unfortunately for us, gaming is not real life. You can't be a successful person at it. Basically it's pissing away your life force on something that'll amount to nothing. So at this point you feel you need to quit, but there are two paths you can go. You can find a way to make your ordinary life produce more excitement. (Much ado about nothing) You can find a way to detox from the constant Dopamine rush. (Live in a constant state of boredom for a while) Most psychology articles I have seen suggest path 1. Increase Dopamine during your normal day. In fact, my doctor put me on Buproprion (Welbutrin) for this problem. I'm not sure this is the right approach, but I'm not an expert, so I went with the pros on this one. It seems to me that it should be possible to become adequately excited about real life things that you can - after a Dopamine detox - maintain normal levels of Dopamine without needing the massive release we are used to. It's like when you are used to salting everything and you have to stop. For a long time everything tastes boring and bland, but after a time you start to become able to taste normally again. If you then cheat and eat a bag of Granny Goose Dip Chips (230mg sodium), it actually tastes way too salty, even though in the past they were a favorite comfort food. So after I get off this drug, and back to normal levels of Dopamine, I hope that the things of normal life will be able to hold sufficient excitement that I can go on without sinking into a depression. For instance, I have a long-term goal to start a business. The doors are nowhere near opening yet (in fact there are no doors). But I can get excited about putting aside the first thousand dollars, then the next and the next. I can get excited to learn business accounting so that I can understand my business better. I can get excited to get out of California because they hate business here. Seriously. Keep in mind that I am not a doctor. Maybe my whole outlook on this is nonsense. Therefore do NOT alter your life because of me. I'm just trying to help you comprehend what an enemy Dopamine is to you in your detox. So. Here is what I do know. I am, for all intents addicted to Dopamine (it's not addictive like crack, but still I am unnaturally marinated with it). I need to wean myself from the constant overdose. That means a few things make sense to me. Seeking a Dopamine rush should be avoided for the most part. That means that simply getting it from porn or gambling or drugs or alcohol or mindless browsing won't help. They will just shift the source of the problem. It also means that I am going to have to get excited about more long-term real life goals. Dopamine is meant to motivate us to win. The idea is to be as successful as possible in life. Get the prey, get the girl, finish the project, win the battles, win the wars: that kind of thing. Sure you don't always win, but Dopamine is there to keep us trying. It's not evil, per se it's there to be used to help us succeed. But we need to use our mind to channel it toward a more appropriate vector.

This is compelling, if not a bit scary. Trade in your evening of mindless Netflix and browsing for self-discipline.

This is just me trying to put things together. I realize I am no Jordan Peterson or Stephan Molyneaux, but I try. I would love any feedback, even on grammatical issues. I happen to love Grammar Nazis!

Mazel Tov! I remember my first car - a 1966 Pontiac Bonneville. It was a land yacht. Gas was 50 cents a gallon back then. Got any pics?

1. Uninstall Fortnight. 2. This everyone of whom you speak, stop listening to them, especially about video games. If you want to play a fun psychological game with your friends, try this. Whenever someone mentions a game, break eye contact with them - just look to the side, or down, or at your phone, and don't smile. When they return to other topics, look at them in the eye, engage in the conversation and smile. This is how you can program your friends to avoid the topic with you. I used this trick in high school to get my friends to stop using profanity.

Today I created a tool to help me focus during work hours. I made a bat file that blocks my screwing-around sites, and I used Windows Task Scheduler to fire that off every night at 11:00PM. So after 11, no more YouTube, Deviantart, and about 4 other sites that I waste a lot of time on. That's my way of saying, "self, it's time for bed!" Then I made another one that unblocks everything at 5PM when I am supposed to end work. If anyone is interested, I can make a tutorial (for Windows users only). I can also add and delete sites from the ban at any time. I may add Netflix and Amazon Prime to the list. NOTE: it only blocks for one computer (not at the router level that would block the whole family), and you need admin privileges to do any of this.

I am using some ideas from the Mini Habits book. I have set a mini-goal of getting 1 hour billable between before 10AM every work day. If you can't see how that helps, give that book a look. Turns out it's a lot (and I mean a LOT) easier to get your willpower to accept 1 hour of work than it is to tell it you have to do 8. Once the door is open however, it's much easier to continue than it is to start something else.

Today I'm having trouble working hours. I am back in that place of not being able to attack tasks. Gonna take a break right now to deal with an intense headache, but after the Tylenol kicks in I will attempt to get something done. What we have done to our brains with this dopamine addiction is brutal. It takes effort. I have decided what I want to do as I get older. I think my years of useful programming are probably coming to an end, so I will have to fill my time with something else. Since my retirement evaporated in 2008, I plan to retire 5 years after I die, so no travelling and gardening for me. I think I'd like to open a smallish Motion Capture Studio dedicated to providing custom mocap for games, animations, and small-studio film. This is a pie-in-the-sky goal, but I think it may actually cause me to start thinking long term, and maybe since my years doing my current work are so limited, I can force myself to make a final push to get the whole dream started.

Excellent! Good luck on the job hunt. Also, Physically demanding jobs save you money going to the gym. And I find that an 8 hour shift goes by a lot faster. Keep in mind that as a software developer, I sit on my ass all day. It's much better to get the blood flowing, trust me.

Ok, @Dannigan, Good ideas. Here's today's list. Invoice Clients Get Project S ready for deployment. Clear Bills Upgrade outfit to polo shirt. :) if there is time, nail down some baseboards in the living room. Seriously, my wood flooring has no baseboard along one wall for years. Oil Change the car. I will line through these as they are done.

Is this just me? Here are some things I noticed about myself that just made me wonder how I could be so oblivious. In no particular order: I noticed that I stopped brushing my teeth regularly I was always late paying bills I was always late invoicing my clients. I had trouble facing my assigned tasks at work. I could not force myself to accomplish the work. I find it impossible to finish anything. (work or creative endeavors). I dress like a slob. Right now I am in swim trunks and a tee shirt. I dress like this when I work (from home) most days. When I look in the mirror, I see that guy who has given up on his appearance. I am still having trouble billing over 15 hours a week (before my detox it was 3). My lawn was a disaster. I have a list of about 75 little half hour things to fix around the house. It can take weeks for me to change a burnt out light bulb. my desk is covered in bills, notes, and other paper fragments. I will tell you this. After my detox, I have used that victory to spur me on in other areas. I say things to myself like: I can give up coffee for lent, that's way easier that the detox and I can leave my wife's Oreos alone (sugar is bad for me) because I did the detox so I know I can. I feel like there is still a hard path to get myself away from the horrible life I have constructed. To totally misinterpret 1 Corinthians 3:12... Bottom line, most of what I do is wood, hay, and straw. Now and then I do the quality stuff.

Yes, I successfully did the detox, and am now game free. But I still fight the depression and the social awkwardness. It makes me want to stay at home all the time, doing things on the computer instead of things like... Normal Home Maintenance Going on walks Walking/playing with Spiffy (In my defense, he has an uncanny ability to conjure turds) Taking a class Going to church Joining my family in conversation. I may be game free, but the road to professional and social recovery is a full time job.

So much good stuff here. And trust me the detox was not easy for one single person. In your original post I was 3 things. In the early mornings instead of reading or facebooking, do something with other people. In my case I can call my Dad, or a friend I rarely hear from in Chicago, or my sister. I have some clients on the East coast. I can call them early rather than at the end of my work day. Or you can always go to Starbucks and sit in the place to enjoy your coffee. Every week I have a breakfast on Thursday at 7AM with my wife and daughter. Every week on Friday I have breakfast with a good friend. Board Games. I have discovered the Fluxx games but Looney Labs. Got my whole family hooked on them. If you feel lost as a writer, I suggest "The Snowflake Method" If you want to blow your mind about forming good habits, I suggest "Mini Habits"

In my YouTube subscriptions, I have a few gamers channels. Relax, it's because I hope to make amateur games as a hobby. Today I got notification of some new upcoming chapter in Star Wars: The Old Republic. I watched the video, and the YouTuber who made it was full of enthusiasm for this new update. For about 3 seconds, I thought, I should try that again. It looks like fun. Then I remembered that It takes 3 days to download, and The game, while fun, gets really boring after about 2 weeks Unless you play in a moderate way, in which case it gets boring later. No, I don't think I'll jump back in, relying on my willpower and restraint to keep it from becoming a problem again. We all know that restraint is not our strong suit. Keep the faith.

My beautiful, charming, and talented wife got me this on Kindle. Mini Habits by Steven Guise. I strongly recommend this book. He tends to go on a bit, but his research and psychology seem sound to me.

Is anyone besides me secretly glad that Star Wars: Battlefront is getting nothing but hate from the fans? I feel like I saved myself a bunch of anger, frustration and money by not signing up for that one.

Cool. I also recently read The Winds of War by Herman Wouk. It's fictional, but it helped me understand what caused what in WWII. When I studied it in high school, it was just a bunch of disjointed statistics.

Gamers are terrible social outcasts. This is mostly because when people call us to find out how we're doing we just want to get back to the screen. So we are short with them and decline invitations. Fast forward a decade and there is maybe one or two friends who stuck with us, and they at most call or text once a week because we are never available. A lot of this kind of behavior leads to a lowering of our social skills. These skills are only learned by getting out there and making mistakes, laughing at ourselves and moving on. It's not uncommon to see people in their 40's with a teenage level of social acumen. WE WILL BE LIKE THAT AT FIRST TOO. People will cringe at us, laugh at us, or stare at us like space aliens. Don't withdraw, just laugh with it and roll on. Learn what polite people do, value and say. To this end, I'd like to suggest this: reconnect with someone today. Mom, Dad, an old friend. Just call them up and reconnect. Set a time to get together in person. I did this with my Dad, who lives about 90 minutes from me. I took him out to Strings (Italian Cafe). He had never been there before. We had a great time. It was so very worth it. There was another time I took my nephew out to a movie just for fun and I'm so glad I did. About 4 years later he was killed in a skateboarding accident (wear those helmets, kids). Anyhow. Even if you have a screamy Mom and a tyrant Dad, there will come a time when you're glad you have reconnected with them.

Well, this is going to sound weird, but my wife and I (for a time) went to the used book store bought 2 copies of books to read to each other, switching off on each chapter. That was fun for a while. Also, you can try various YouTube tutorials for cooking, or crafts or whatever. If nothing else, if you're like me there is a long list of forgotten honey-do's. That reminds me: I have to fix a drain and nail up some baseboards.