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wazzapp

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    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    New new try starting -- day 2

    When i play i often start feeling depressed, headache, dissy, anxiety..., just watching a movie or even a let's play doesnt have this affect on me

     

    I dont need to replace gaming with doing productive things, i am a productive person already. I just need to do something other than gaming.

     

    whatever game i feel the urge to play, there is a lets play or twitch streamer out there. Just watch it a bit, get bored, and do something else. I know a lot of ppl dont recommend streams etc but this is what im doing for now, middle-road.

     

    • Like 1
    • Like 1

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by wazzapp

    Day 5

     

    Been going pretty good. Luckily i have friends to hang out with and things to do

    Today my craving is big, fridays are usually a day that i spend gaming with irl friends online. My gaming console is not here and my laptop is a potato,  so there is at least not much i can do about it

    Spent a little bit more time reading than usually so already some positive effects, even though i have replaced most of my gaming time with youtube and sleeping

    I was productive and focused today at work. Let say, for positivitys sake, that its because i havent gamed 😉

    thanks for letting me post

    • Like 1

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by wazzapp

    Day 1

    New try 1st nov 2021.

    I've been home for about a week because of sickness. My gaming has gotten worse during that time, i play with friends online, but also alone. Most of the time it feels fine, but then, i play too much, and feel kinda sick. Today my friend is "borrowing" my gaming concole, I asked him to take it to his apartment. The fact that I ask him to do that kinda tells me it has gotten out of control.

    I have a note in my phone: "Everything sucks? Feel bad? Well let me guess, you have been gaming by yourself". It has not been 16 hrs per day like when i was teenager, but yeah at least 5 hrs per day, which is far too much.  Interesting to see how i will spend my free time now, A lot of youtube i suspect, initially. 

    Thanks for letting me post

    • Like 2

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by wazzapp

    Day 1

    I had an awful few days. From wednesday and forward i felt continiously low. Relapse into gaming didn't help either. I hate to complain but that's the truth. I seem to have periods like this a few times per year. I just get low and cant get out of it. Not easily at least.

     

    I'm trying to identify why it happens. Maybe it is just an seldom recurrent clinical "mini-depression". Symptoms are usually:

    - Apathy

    - Anxiety

    - Low productivity/No productivity

    - Turning of phone, scared to answer/look at phone

    - Not cleaning apartment, everything becomes a mess

    - Sleeping a lot

    - A lot of self-criticism. "I'm ugly, I'm worthless" etc

    - Hiding inside apartment, not going out

     

    Today i feel slightly better. At the office getting some things done after hiding from everything for days. I'm still not back to "normal" though. I can feel it in my body.

     

    Wish u all a great day ❤️

    • Like 1

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Day 4

     

    New day, working towards my goals, staying (somewhat) frugal and contributing to an overambitious pension plan. 

    Getting closer to finishing my google marketing certificate. It has been really interesting. Looking forward to the next steps in my journey of learning digital marketing. I think it is crucial for anyone who want to start a blooming business, no matter the field. 

    Wish u all a great day ❤️

    • Like 2

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by wazzapp

     

    Day 1

    Another relapse yesterday. I'm not sure I am willing to give up gaming in certain social settings. Specifically console games on TV with friends irl. However, it becomes a difficult distinction. Should i draw a line between "healthy" and "unhealthy" gaming? It is just too difficult for my addicted brain to try to make such rules. I would easily bend these rule and go back to compulsive gaming.

    Enough rambling. As time goes by i am confident that i will find solutions. Happy to not be playing games today. Happy to not be in the prison-like grip of grinding and ignore my life, family, friends. 

     

    • Like 2

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    @Jason70Thanks for your concern ❤️ quite the opposite, we are talking about how to stay clean 🙂

    Day 9

    Sometimes i feel unmotivated, then i remember that my future-self would probably have wanted me to be productive today. And some day i will be in that future regardless if i want it or not.

    Arrived at the office and I will try to get some things done today, mainly google marketing course online and flight license studies.

    Wish u all a great day ❤️

     

    • Like 1

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by wazzapp

    Day 6

    Feeling great to not be playing games. I don't miss the compulsive gaming and headaches, feelings of guilt e.t.c. Thank god for being free just for today.

     Productive day, studying Google Marketing and updating the company website. Also going to do some chargeable work before the day ends.

    Tonight it will be movie time share-screen with my fiance on distance ❤️ Also maybe dinner with a friend

    Thanks for letting me keep a journal here ❤️

    • Like 1

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by wazzapp

    Thanks @Pochatok 🙂

    Day 3

    New day new chances. My guests left yesterday. It was great having them here.

    Slept a lot and now i'm at office, getting a few productive hours before night. It seems like i will get my medical certification for pilots soon. It has been a hassle. Looking forward to start off my first lessons for UL-plane. 

    I do not have much to do at work right now. No deadlines close by. But my philosophy is that there are always productive things to do to take my life forward. We'll see how far I get tonight, but I plan to study flight theory and brainstorm a bit before future business

    Wish u a great day ❤️

    • Like 2

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by wazzapp

    Thanks for replying to my post ❤️ Yes I've truly been Fked up because of my compulsive gaming/ addiction to gaming. Especially when playing alone on the computer. Even chess on mobile turned out really bad for me, dreaming about moves, head spinning, missing out on my life because of constantly looking at the phone or think about chess. 

     

    Day 1

    New try after x-box with friends yesterday.

    We also did some board games which was awesome, betrayal on house hill ❤️

    New day new possibilities. Staying clean from gaming will definately be easier from saturday when my friend and his fiance is not here. 

    Thanks for having patience with me ❤️

    • Like 1

    A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time

    in Daily Journals

    Posted · Edited by wazzapp

    Terraforming mars, Betrayal at house hill, and Arkham horror. Espacially looking forward to Betrayal at house hill since we are 3 ppl right now and it seems quite easy for beginners 🙂

    Day 1

    New try. Gamed some x-box with my friend and his fiance as they are visiting. I don't feel so bad about it, maybe I'm not right for this forum. Just some casual gaming with friends and no compulsive tendencies. 

    However, it counts as a relapse. I can't make wierd rules like "gaming on xbox multiplayer with friends who are in the same room is not a relapse". Unnecessarily complicated. 

    I am a gaming addict though, or at least have problem with compulsive gaming. It goes bad everytime i re-install. I've had migrane headaches, skipped eating, skipped hygene, skipped work, skipped school, played 14hrs per day e.t.c. because of my addiction. 

    Wish u all a great day ❤️

    • Like 4
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