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Everything posted by simmsjt

  1. Well I've found that I can manage it but its a constant drain on my will power to do so. I also constantly think about it when im not gaming. I am drawn to gaming for escapism, socializing, and a sense of accomplishment. I would like to be able to live a full life and just have gaming as a hobby but I don't think its realistic with the intensity of my cravings. I went back to gaming because I thought I could handle but I was wrong. I only played 2 hours a day for the past month compared to the 8 hours a day from a year ago. But it still such a drain on my life. Maybe things will be different in the future. I want to accomplish the 90 day detox again to see how things feel at that point. I don't really feel happy about it but I recognize that failing is a part of learning to succeed. I'm also in kinda of a weird point in my life. I'm in an accelerated school program right now. I spend 12 hours a day seven days a week in class or doing homework but I only have 2 months of that left. Once I graduate I will have a lot less stress and more free time. Based on the jobs in my local area I should be able to find employment within a month of graduation. Money is a big stressor and trigger for addictive behaviors for me. Once I find a job the monetary stress should start to lessen as well. I think once I am employed I may look into trying to integrate it again as my life situation is a lot different. But we will see. I hope you can take something from this I know its kinda rambling on im about to go to bed so im a little tired.
  2. 11/30/17 The hardest part is the loneliness. I find the cravings are only really bad when im home alone. I don't have any friend outside of school so weekends and evenings are hard to stay on track.
  3. 11/28/17 Day 2 doing ok because class is keeping me busy. I was feeling pretty bad last night but I went for . a walk with my dad and that helped.
  4. Thank you @Laney it is good to know other people have a similar issue.
  5. After 5 months without games I relapsed again and have been playing for the past 3 months. I really wanted to play in moderation. I was successful in that effort. I have only been playing 2 hours a day during the past months. However, it takes so much of my willpower and headspace to accomplish that. I hate that when I'm not gaming I constantly think about gaming. I'm going to start another 90 day detox and evaluate how I want to move forward after that. This marks day one. Last night I put my gaming PC up in storage and I uninstalled all the games on my phone. I know last time I abstained it wouldn't have been possible without the people I met through this community. Most of the people I used for support in the past have moved on with there lives. I'm hoping I can meet new people so that we can support each other. 11/28/17
  6. Thanks for the advice. I guess anxiety has never been something I've thought I could fix. It's always been something that I've delt with my whole life. I've been going to counseling it has helped in many areas but not when it comes to the anxiety. I'll look into Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy @HappyCat. Thank you for your kind words @giblets. Maybe I am being to hard on myself.
  7. Just curious how other people deal with anxiety? The biggest appeal to gaming for me is anxiety management. If I get really anxious I can play for a few hours and it will go away for awhile. I thought maybe it was games that were causing it. But after going 4 months without gaming I was still experiencing it and that's what drew me back into gaming.
  8. Great job so far man! keep up the good work!!!
  9. 8/22/2017 Day's without gaming: 14 Did good today.
  10. simmsjt

    I'm back...

    Thank you both. I really appreciate the words of encouragement.
  11. 8/21/2017 Day's without gaming: 13 Thanks for the kind words everyone. Today was a lot easier as I was traveling. About to go spend time with a friend who is a big gamer so hopefully I can avoid the temptation while i'm over there.
  12. 8/20/2017 Day's without gaming: 12 Back again unfortunately. Man it sucks I was doing so well. I thought I could handle a little light gaming that was a mistake. I'm trying to move forward in life so I need to quit again. Need to reconnect with people on here. It's hard going through stuff alone. I am grateful for: 1. My father 2. Water 3. having a bed Good things that happened to me today: 1. Made some money selling old things on craigslist 2. Got to eat breakfast with my family at a diner 3. I posted on here!
  13. simmsjt

    I'm back...

    I'm honestly embarrassed to be writing this. I was doing really well for about a month after I finished my first 90 day detox. But I started wondering if maybe it would be ok to play a little bit. At first it wasn't bad I'd just play for an hour a day no big deal. But then my life got stressful and I started using the games for my classic escapism. I ended up gaming for about 60 hours a week on average. I really want to move forward with my life but I keep getting sucked into games. I'm enrolling in school which start in September. I'm moving up to Colorado for school and I'm super worried that I'm going to fail out again because of gaming. I just quit again. It's been about 12 days without gaming. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks for letting me vent yall.
  14. Welcome we are all super excited you have taken another step on your journey. Keep up the great work!
  15. What you are describing is very normal. For the first two weeks I quit I would get random shaking in my hand and I cried myself to sleep everynight.
  16. Other than doing more activities and socializing more to create your own stories the best thing you can do is read. Read read and read some more. Reading helps you think about different topics and experience other viewpoints faster than anything else. If you are having trouble starting go to your local used book story and try and find 3 different books to take home and try out.
  17. Wow very brave to post all that. Welcome to the community Chris. Have you thought about starting a journal? It really helped me get through my 90 days.
  18. Awesome day #1. Consistence really helps with the journaling. Write everyday if you can. Even if it's only one sentence. If you want ideas for templates look at other peoples journals. I started including 3 good things that happened that day which has really helped with shifting my mindset. But these are just suggestions. Do whatever works best for you
  19. Welcome to the community. I'm super happy you're here. I noticed you started journaling great job!
  20. Welcome Moe! Remember to congratulate your self on victories. It took a lot of guts to post that!
  21. Welcome Vincent! I hope you find the forum helpful. Poke around and read other peoples stories in the journal section may give some insight. Maybe there is something else in common you have with this friend that you could do instead. When I quit I lost most of my friends. The ones that I stated friends with didn't understand what I was going through but chose to respect my decision. It may be beneficial to explain to your friend why you struggle with gaming and that it doesn't reflect on them or there experience with gaming. Unfortunately in life sometimes growing requires leaving people behind. The good new is you can always grow new relationships. Hope you figure it out man.
  22. Welcome! So glad you've decided to join our community. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help you. We are so much stronger when we work together. How did you get into gaming and other habits?
  23. 4/29/2017 Day's without gaming: 90!!!!! I haven't posted in awhile so I thought I would update since it is day 90. I've started keeping a personal paper journal for the past two weeks. I have also gotten into therapy. It's been nice to have some who can give me an objective outlook. I know my friends and family care but they have there own agenda when they offer advice. I have been consistent with the gym. I'm finally noticing physical differences to my body in the mirror. I have been attending yoga for a month now and have really enjoyed the quiet it creates for me. I've made a few friends through yoga who are positive healthy people. I finally decided to give Toast Masters a go. I've been to three meetings so far and love it. I just payed my dues last week and should do my first speech in two weeks or so. I made a new friend through there who is also trying to change his life for the better. He is in a similar space as I am where he has made bad choices and wasted time in the past with negativity and is looking to progress in life. I've also decided to quit pornography as I think that will greatly contribute to my health and my ability to form intimate relationships with women. I'm doing a 90 day detox with masturbation to help me quit porn which I am 29 days into. I tried to join an online class for web design to wet my feet in online classes. It was really difficult for me and I dropped out and got a refund because I couldn't handle the pressure. After that experience I don't think going back to school for me is the best option at this time. I think I need to find a better paying non-degree job for the time being. I think that if I'm going to work a job I don't really love but just to get me to where I am going to go. I should at least pick something that is going to teach me new skills. While Starbucks has been fun these past four months I think I've learned all there really is to know there. It has definitely helped with my people skills but I think it's time to move onto something more technical. I figure that even if I get a job that pays the same if it's teaching me new skills it's worth the effort of changing jobs. My current idea is a entry level help desk IT position as I've already done some of that type of stuff in the past. If any one has any job ideas let me know. I am grateful for: 1. Texas Barbecue 2. A bed 3. Clothes and a home Good things that happened to me today: 1. Spent sometime soul searching and realized some truths about myself. 2. Spent time with an old friend and ate good barbecue. 3. Hung out with my sister and her new dog.