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There is an important distinction between nice and kind, imo! Sometimes, being kind means not being nice, and vice versa. I always try to lead with kindness- as in, I want the best for you. That can mean saying something that's difficult for the other person to listen to. It can also mean saying something nice. But I never put nice-ness as the goal- often, it can be subverted into lying/evading/manipulating others. I'm nice when it helps me be kind, not the other way around. Just my 2c- look forward to hearing more about your journey! So glad to see you passionate about change and learning ❤️

Brief update: day 9. writing this after some significant struggle- about 30mins lost to some escapism. not sure where it came from, not sure why i needed it. i am not sure what it is i am running from- and i want to find out. i'll sit through it next time it's around. i don't want to dissociate. this world is too precious, and nothing i can really take for granted.

Hope you are able to continue with your 90 day journey. Day 4 for me.

How is the job search coming along? Is there anything relevant for you? I think going somewhere for a few hours a day, learning something new, providing value to other people and getting paid in the process is a good idea overall 😄 I actually listen to game soundtracks fairly often, because they are good pieces for work or fit my mood and I know them. I don't really search for any new soundtracks though, as I am not involved in gaming anymore. I found some new artists later on too, but for me the categories are "I listened to *this* when I was 15, 18, 21, 24." without any strings attached. I still have gaming related thoughts and dreams regardless, but no urges, as I don't want to go back to who I was when I gamed. "Clicking around" is a part of many jobs, so it is a skill, or at least a part of some skills. It doesn't matter if they're paid or not, but people normally give others money for things they don't want to do themselves. I don't know what the most viable definition of a "man" is. I only know that it has to be natural and come from within you. I know it's good to align words with actions and focus on things that matter. I think that these are surprisingly universal and are a part of my monthly reports (social - family/friends/girlfriend, work, health/exercise).

I spend too much time trying to become perfect and not enough time taking action - that's was and still is my problem. I was looking for various tips and instructions on the Internet on how to do something better. After you mentioned this program, I saw it and it's great, I will definitely use it No, after what you wrote to me, I realized that this was not what I meant and indeed my statements could have been misleading. Everything's okay.

I had played games as a kid and probably had a problem then and did give up when I was in college for two decades. I recently got back into gaming by some peculiar way. I had a gift card that had expired for cash redemption and could only get prizes. My wife suggested the game system since it was the pandemic and other than work I just stayed home for 3 years and had zero connection to the outside world. At first the gaming DID give me that connection. It was also fun to see how I could balance gaming with all of my other responsibilities with family, exericise, other hobbies, work, home, and the list goes on and on. I did always have some sleep issues but gaming made it worse where I would start waking up early and couldn't get back to sleep since I was thinking about trying to find time for the games before I had to to all of the other stuff. My sleep got worse and I eventually dropped lower priority hobbies. I then started realizing I was having a problem. My mind was telling me stuff like it is ok to drop this hobby for awhile. The sleep loss was also taking a toll on me physically. I had heard about game quitters actually through a spiritual( hindu ) community I am involved with as the guru prohibits games and someone suggested this site. I liked Cam's honest approach and also not demonizing games. I DO think there is some benefit gained from games. In my time playing some games like Astroneer or Minecraft or others, I did start to develop an intense interest in exploring deeply the natural world. My main issue was the addictive quality. Previous games were becoming boring and I was starting to constantly search for new games to play that were better. It was an endless search and also trying new games out. It takes awhile with modern games to learn. I am in Day 4 of my detox. So far I have already been sleeping better and I have gotten other stuff done. Games had a grip on my mind where I almost could not do other stuff because there was a pull to the system with any time that was not filled with pressing needs. I do have some negative emotions like sadness about giving up the activity. I am asking myself if I will have to quit for good. But for now I do know I have to take some time off. I don't know how much time.

Entry 06.05 (Written on 07.05) Day 585: No Useless Videos Day 582: Sticking to Food schedule Day 186: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 177: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -8 pomodoros (awesome 🙂 ) -2.5 hrs job search -about 4.5 hrs physical activity 1 Thing I could do better -Got to finish 8 pomodoros earlier and job search so that I leave on time for deliveries stat, so that I may go to sleep on time. (8 hours. Not 7 or 6)

May 6-7 (Wow, it's actually been 2 days!) Gratitude: ~ slept like a baby *sigh* ~ emotionally tuned up, though without a full library of good responses ~ the personality of my new job agent (so bubbly it's almost scary) ~ discounted (and new-ish) protein bread _______________ I'm probably going for my first jog in a few weeks, so will keep it achievable (5km or 3-4 miles). I did my share of lifting the last 8-10 days and the next workout should be a slow hammering of my quadriceps, so I just want to make sure I still have cardio and mobility before it. ^ EDIT: It was only a regular walk with a long-feeling sit at the park. I had some disappointing texts with my dad, so I did the usual thinking spiral. All I'm really going to do is ignore my phone for a day or two. Still unfortunate, but that's the best I can do. It seems like the more information I share with him, the poorer the reception, and the more tempting it is to shut myself off completely by immersing myself in a game, in utter despair. I have to be careful how far I go with my conclusions about that, I know, but that as pattern, which has seemed more and more recognisable, is not healthy. I really am afraid - not of pure rejection by others, but of 'going over the top' with what and how much I say. This keyboard is almost a better friend than my mouth or fingertips at my phone. Miserable, right? But I did fairly well on Saturday's night out; I don't think I've mentioned how it actually went yet. ^--> One mate turned up again for the first time since our last movie viewing, and it was less awkward speaking to him than last. Afterward, I walked back to public transport with another guy I've talked to a lot, and on the way we found a 3rd member who had met up with his younger brother. I ended up staying with the brothers and taking transport back over the course of like 90 minutes! I was kind of apologetic for perhaps not living up to my 30 years of age, and earned a few (I think) jibes from the younger brother, but it was as nice of an introduction as I can imagine. Now I think about it, the major reason for my speaking to younger adults is so they might be less likely to slip up/feel as bad as I think I did. ______________ Out of nowhere, I came back to studying the road user's handbook; 10% closer, added to the previous 60% - a now long-term project, as well as revision of the notes perhaps instead of a straight re-read of the book. The job agent was very encouraging on this matter. My regular psychologist session rolled around yesterday, and aside from a couple things I felt obliged to mention, I levelled with them enough that I was then encouraged to ask a direct question, not just out of self-pity but wonder, about whether this second planned recovery from gaming should be as difficult. The 'come-down' from any addictive fix was acknowledged in a tough but compassionate manner. It's surprising how I cherish words like that now, which haven't just come from myself. _______________ Had another gaming dream, but very few compulsions and even fewer actual ideas of what I would enjoy clicking on. I've been thinking about how showering discomfort used to be the worst suffering I dealt with. "Lyke, what's tha deal now, yo?" lol That's all for now. Peace, ~ Matt

Best of luck. You are doing a really hard thing but it is so worth it in the end. All my best wishes.

Hi! I just hit the two week mark in quitting video games. It was really hard, I had cravings, fatigue, and headaches in the first few days. The game quitters website really helped me though, it kind of has formed a place to touch base in the first parts of my recovery, and so I wanted to say that this forum is really validating for me. Gaming can be so made fun of, so having a place where it is taking seriously is nice.

Hey you’ve already made a huge first step in admitting the problem. You can’t change things you’ve done, you can only have empathy for why you did them and better yourself for tomorrow. Forgive, but don’t forget.

Spot-on with my experience, especially waking up early. And really good reply @pdallair91. Getting honest answers about myself from myself + others is important to me too. I imagine it's good to have that front of mind and ways to help that work.

Thank-you, I think that I may need to speak to a psychotherapist or another counselor to resolve my feelings. I do think that my gaming was becoming a problem at times though not at the level of some I have heard about. I do think for now it is important for me to take some time off gaming to reflect on questions I am asking myself. During the pandemic gaming gave me a great sense of community and connection to the outside world with my only time going out was at work. Thus the games and community have some connection for me and it is with some sadness that I feel I might have to give it up. However, in only the first few days of stopping I have seen various benefits from improved sleep to greater productivity so I don't think I can go back until I figure if I am able to moderate the games. Previously I woke up early in the morning thinking about games and couldn't go back to sleep. -Billy

I get it now, thanks. Yes, I think my girlfriend and I are fairly independent-minded and I also think we both benefit from the relationship. I think it's useful to notice the patterns, as then you can parse out what you want and perhaps what you don't want as much. It's relatively easy to admit a fault within oneself, but especially difficult to start working on it though. I keep mentioning my nationality and masking it at the same time too, so no wonder you're having trouble 😄 Blogs are different from diaries. People are usually more critical towards blogs, and they should be, as blogs are meant to influence public opinion, otherwise the writer wouldn't publish! Diaries usually don't offer much to be criticized. People just (try to) quit games, meet friends, feed their pets and go on with their lives... In the rare case I do criticize/suggest something, I mostly do it for a) the intellectual exercise and b) to offer a perspective of someone who quit gaming 5 years ago and turned his life around. Brains are indeed very often copycats and like easy solutions suggested by someone else 😄 I guess I still mostly agree with what I wrote back then, though as I wrote, I the texts are not practical enough for my taste now. Again, glad you liked it 🙂

And thank you for sharing this with us! One more quote: "I'm not telling you its going to be easy - I'm telling you its going to be worth it." Remind me please what's your "clean day count?"

"Stand guard at the door of your mind" - often attributed to motivational speaker Jim Rohn. When you try to think how you don't want to play games, you eventually end up wanting to play them more. Instead reinforce the vision every day of what you want to achieve instead. In the beginning its going to be harder but it will become second nature more and more as you go. But again note that this gaming urge is something that builds up overtime. You keep thinking how you actually want it and that everything else is not real because you're deceiving yourself. Instead you've got to set real goals to help you stay on the right track towards better self-fulfillment. Remember - all you're doing with games is avoiding reality...

Entry 05.05 (Written on 06.05) Day 584: No Useless Videos Day 581: Sticking to Food schedule Day 185: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 176: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -8 pomodoros -Filled out a few lead forms regarding getting job interview consultation -Attending another job interview 1 Thing I could do better -When I found out the delivery app stopped working, instead of just wondering on the bike for 3 hours could have gone home, and done some job searching

Found it today; it reads like inner dialogue, and while I do some of that alone (a recent post in my journal), it has already seemed to confirm the 'pay attention/take responsibility' for your world bit. EDIT: The 'philosopher' tells the 'youth' he is wrong on page 102, after earlier telling him not to do that; instead to tell someone that their point is illogical, not the person themselves. I feel righteous indignation! 🥲 That's good, but I've right away thought of the other day I tried to calmly direct a bicycle-rider's attention to traffic as he crossed the road with my hands and eye contact, instead of yelling, "Hey, cyclist! Watch your right side!" He noticed, but almost too late. (Side note, I walked too brazenly in the rain last week and was surprised how quickly my pedestrian lights turned red while crossing, and earned a bike/car horn - nobody proceeded until I'd crossed though. :X) When it's a seemingly small matter, people (even me) don't always appreciate those louder calls. But small things do matter in happiness. I remember when competitive gaming that every interaction was very important to me, and conversations I had kept me up for about an hour every night. It's hard to maintain that offline, when the default instinct for many (like me, again) is to relax. But ideally, I would also respond well again to demands that I focus, throughout the day. If that road traffic situation had ended up going very badly, would the cyclist have died happy? - You know, because he was possibly feeling confident enough to take the odd risk. I mean, dang. lol Godspeed Po 🙂

Day 7. urges present, but i persist b/c i remember who i want to be. i want the world to be free, and i will not ever achieve that vision w/out liberating myself. so, no relapsing today, and tomorrow me will return to this commitment.

I'm up to around day 26 now as well. Being sick with a cold for almost half of the time kept me in bed reading, not wanting to sit up at the PC desk, but now I'm there just out of habit. I used to prepare pizzas for work, and so receiving an order made me try to think of all the ways to complete it and arrange the toppings, and quickly at that. Gaming also added to the 'need' to respond to everything. Now when I plan to study something, - taking notes and arranging information - I feel the same immense pressure to get everything out fast, which kind of overwhelms the initial curiosity that made me want to open the books in the first place. Time should help - maybe if you have a large living space, you could clean something every 30 minutes to an hour. That's what my dad told me to do. lol

I don't think it's too much food for thought, but when someone is said to be the 'rock' in a relationship, I basically understand it to mean independence (though with the realisation they are better off in a relationship). I'm now talking out of my buttocks, but - the 'rock' might be relied upon to just exist - mostly for the other person, I guess, remembering important things about the relationship (or themselves!) and bringing them up when necessary. Concerning the idea of two 'rocks', that's just been my preference; it seems to be what my parents were like, and it can kind of feed into a 'you and me against the world' idea (and the 'illogical chaos' in it, for example). I'm trying to be more realistic though. - It's interesting because to be someone with a lot of good ideas in a relationship could be rock-like, but to remind the other that a lot of those ideas remain talk and not action is too. Me, I like to think I can notice patterns (e.g. of behaviour), but I'm reluctant to finally label a lot of them because it means I'll have to then work with those beliefs. Haha. I keep remembering and forgetting that English isn't your only language. It's probably good because of translation in one's head versus only thinking how readers would receive some ideas, which is what would make me hesitate. The GQ forums are different because giving up gaming is probably usually an emotional affair, so I've typed plenty. I liked reading your blog, and the next time I think about the topics on it whilst out walking, I'll likely answer myself with something like what I read there. Individual brains are funny.

DAY 26 my productivity hasn't quite increased. i'm still behind screens, especially nowadays for personal reasons. i hate it. studied for just about 2 hours today

I would cut the games temporarily and quit altogether and try other hobbies. There are many other hobbies to try from gardening to Dungeons and Dragons to reading. I myself am a spiritual seeker but also play DnD. I am only on Day 2 of my detox and play far more than you with limited time so I am giving up games at the moment until I clarify what I need to do long term for a more fulfilling life while still meeting human needs for recreation and connection that I got through gaming. Perhaps building imaginative worlds through writing and reading.

It's really the same for me. I find organizing such trips stressful and mostly not worth the effort to even write others about it. I can do "my things" anywhere too, so I don't need to leave either. I found out that "taking a break" to change my perspective on some long-term projects doesn't really work. My girlfriend rightly called me out on the fact that I talk about some things more than I actually do them. I'm more acutely aware of such unfinished business when I am on a "true" holiday than when I'm in my normal workweek. What do you mean by the whole "rocks" thing? I tried to get it through my head, but I'm still missing the point 😄 Travel recommendations are tough and I'd say pointless, unless you know what type of places you want to visit. My girlfriend loves active holidays with lots of hiking, nice nature, viewpoints and not many people. I don't think it's my passion as much as its hers, but I know that light/medium exercise (which hiking is) is good for me and I need to do it as much as possible. The above means we need to look for nice places that are not a) overcrowded and overpriced tourist traps and b) too much for me to hike. Other people prefer to just walk from the hotel to the sea for two weeks straight. It really depends on your taste. Really? Thank you! 😄 I started writing about personal finance in Czech (my native language) two-three years ago, kept the concepts, and officially launched the website in August last year or so. It's something I can combine with some philosophy, it's practical and I can share it with my friends directly, FB or even LI. Writing essays on philosophy/psychology in English is generally less relatable and I haven't had the taste to write something like that in a long time.

I can only speak for myself: - I gave away all my valuable in-game stuff - I deleted all of my gaming accounts I had relapsed once before doing the above, and the thought of having to start from scratch helps to cope with urges to play. I just cannot be bothered, and most of all: after the relapse I realised that I cannot game moderately. I journaled here online, daily for the first few weeks after quitting. It was helpful to get my thoughts out somewhere. In progress! 😅 Quitting gaming opens up a lot of free time. I'm still struggling with internet addiction but overall I am a healthier person with more hobbies: running, lifting, gardening, reading ... You get all these opportunities to re-discover your interests and re-shape yourself. The first period definitely sucks though. So much boredom! Good luck.