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Journal enteries where i contemplate video games and my life in general
Epux replied to Epux's topic in Daily Journals
Day 16 So lets see what steps i have been taking in regards to video games since Day one of my 90 day detox I deleted all my gaming accounts: playstation, xbox, nintendo, itch.io, Steam, humble bundle. I factory reset my Nintendo switch and put it in the closets, leaving the dock under the tv for multiplayer gaming when my friends come and visit me. Put my Playstation 1, cables and games in a bag to be sold or given away and did the same with my Gamecube. Hid away my nintendo 3ds and gameboy color that i am planing on keeping for childhood memory and nostalgia reasons. Have also been contemplating not buying any new major consoles or playing on pc (after the 90 day detox as i planed) and getting an open source handheld console where i only am paying for the console, and where i can learn to code a little. Things i have done insted of playing games are: Going to the gym ( but i have missed 3 days i had planed to go, its okey, you can go there tomorrow, you will feel better afterwards) walking and cycled outside, enjoying nature. Kind of unrelated but the purpose is to make me more awake and aware of things and people around me, i changed from a Samsung smartphone to a Nokia "dumb" phone. I am a little disgusted when i se almost everybody glued to their smartphone screens all the time when i walk around. I have found some direct replacements to video games and they are Rubics cube, Arkham Horror the card game (have not played yet, there is a lot of rules to get into first) and Kendama which i got today. The rubix cube or reading a book i great for when i want to do somting slower paced and i imagine Arkham Horror is the same. Kendama on the other hand is a fast paced activity that is so much better than action video games, it is good for fast reflexes, hand eye cordination and i got a little workout to when i used it for a while, trying to land tricks. Not playing, reading or watching videos about video games open up more time for other things and quiets the mind down a little over time. I watched a lot of video game related videos yesterday and a little today but the kendama was more interesting so i stoped watching videos after i got it. I hope i can keep it up, there is NO games that you want to play, there is no use to watch videos about it, you are just wasting time and feeling worse than before you started watching. By removing myself form mainstream games that get reported on constantly feeding into a compulsion loop where we are trained and expected to play buy paly buy games i am hoping that the hold they have on me will fade away with time. -
I like this quote a lot! You need to try swimming in the pool rather than rely on theory.
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Here's my monthly summary again. Game Quitters - I'm trying to be a worthwhile member of the community. physical development - I have some "extra" movement about 90% of all the days, which means I either cycle or go out with my basketball for about 30 minutes on a daily basis, so my endurance is definitely going up. mental development idols - In the past month, I think I prioritized practical matters like university and Iceland preparation. I still read 12 Rules and listen mainly to Peterson, but not as much as before. Self-authoring is still something I'm working on every now and then, though I'd like to do more of it. going out more/new people and screen time reduction - Taking on extra responsibilities definitely helps with the screen time reduction and there's always plenty to do and fix, if you look around enough. I think I meet quite a bit of people, the trouble is that I don't meet them on a daily or semi-daily basis to really establish some more meaningful connections faster. I feel fairly confident talking to people, I believe teaching helps with that. uni - 100% done and continuing in about 3 months. English teaching - I'm fairly confident in it, I think I can provide a reasonable performance and experience both at the same time and I think my students are enjoying that. It helps with socializing, discussing ideas and I even get paid for that. What a deal! I wrote that before, but it's still valid. my business - This has to be tackled when I return, perhaps even more than the university. Searching for possible employers and students is crucial towards my growth. Iceland - I might have a bit of a pickle here. I know a friend of mine went there Bear Grylls style (he had a tent and sought job on the spot) the last summer and everything worked out for him quite decently. I'll commit to doing that if absolutely necessary, though I'd prefer to have my comfort. I still have a bit more than a month to sort this out. It turns out that's exactly what it's gonna be, for the first few days anyway, because I got nowhere sending emails. I'm getting my gear together and if everything goes to hell job-wise, I'll just walk around there for a month, visit some sites and go home. Nobody can rob me of that, except if they took my tent away on the airport check-in, but I hope that won't happen! family - I shared my story with my brother and he shared his with me about a week ago, it was a good talk. I feel like my parents got a bit more cheerful and less negative as well. My mom is definitely happier with my newfound sense of responsibility and I think my dad noticed I do more and talk less as well, which is exactly what he does when something needs to be done. Russian - 32 days streak on Duolingo, just thought it'd be nice to share. And last but not least: dating - I don't think I've been on OKC seriously for over two weeks and I'm turning towards the fact it's not worth it, especially if they took away the direct messaging system and I've ran out of girls within reasonable distance. I think I used Tinder for 6 months and OKC for 3 months before I met my ex. I think I'm better off picking up some hobby and meeting someone there, so I need to conjure up some social hobbies. As for my ex-girlfriend, I think I got the main points across and a plan on that yesterday. The truth is, our past united us in the past. Working towards being more desirable to women goes in the same direction as being desirable to her and that goes in the same direction to being desirable towards myself and I can never separate that from each other. AFTER ICELAND - priorities: hobbies: modeling (WWII stuff), paintball, geocache (yoga?) my business/English teaching university (whatever happens and springs to mind while there)
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I'd be a fan of the podcast-like shows, similar to JRE, Rubin or Jocko and discuss several topics in depth with people that actually have something to say, so anywhere north of 1 hour would be great. Some short Q&A at the end of the show would be great too. I know it would be quite time-consuming, so I would once or twice a month, as preparing and performing the interview would probably take a whole day. I feel like everyone has that vice they're not really proud of, if they care to admit it. I started noticing most of the "small" things above I sometimes do when I got rid of the "big" gaming thing. Now I gotta pay attention and whack the "small" mole as it pops up. -
I wrote article about gaming and send it into men online magazine. Editor accept it and gave me some tips to edit it. After editing he told me it will publish it. I'm curious about the response. I think I need to give back to all men and women some information about gaming disorder. When you imagine that almost all little boys have console or pc or even both. It's scary AF. Article is in my native language. The title of the article is Playing Video Games? Some highlights: Playing video games can be a great experience. Problems arise when this activity gets out of control. Why do people become addicted to playing video games? The virtual world meets certain needs. Video games are played for specific reasons. Offering temporary escape, they are social, you see your constant growth and challenge. (THX CAM) Certainly this story will be familiar to you. You will get your first console or computer for Christmas or a birthday and find out that you can play video games. So far, I remember trying to turn on Super Mario Bros. It was something unreal. You can control the objects on the screen that you have in your power. An interactive world at home. I still remember vivid, happy, excited about the new experience. It was too good. Gradually, one finds information as a gaming study, collaborates with psychologists and behavioral scientists dealing with human behavior. They use manipulative techniques such as creating a virtual "Skinner Box" based on BF Skinner's theory
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Let's try this ... Day 1: I assume I'll get easily bored a lot, specially in a place where I am, with not many things to do; or so I think, to be honest. Bah, we shall see (luckily I'll get back to home next weekend from the next week). My alternatives beyond videogaming are often just laying on the bed and staring at the smartphone, watching whatever Youtube throws at me. Or a bit of discord / whatsapp. To be honest, I have no problems taking a walk, but that's it? What else to do, search for pubs and talking to randoms? Reading bad books? I don't know, to fill such boring afternoons is quite a difficult task. I shall see what really this town-like place could offer to me, despite everything else. Oh, and of course I uninstalled all videogames in my computer. Maybe I could try to watch some movie. I always liked Clint Eastwood ... EDIT: WOW, I found THIS (https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/) and it's quite amazing! Thank you Game Quitters!
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Hello there. My name is Erdall (nope, ain't my real name, and I don't want to reveal it anyway, sorry xD), and is a pleasure to seek insight and knowledge about how to quit videogames' addiction for good. Mine is a simple story of not being satisfied with a certain route I picked, long ago, when I began my college routine. For many, several reasons, I got into Auduovisual Communication, a degree about TV, Radio, journalism and cinema, basically that. But, once in my life, I wanted to get into studying videogames. Problem: I'm not a good drawing stuff and neither about computing. And there were (and still quite so nowdays) barely proper options for me to get into videogames' industry. Anyway, despite being struggling with a degree I quite disliked much, the worst part came when I was, yes, hidding away from my problems through videogames. I often picked few MMOs like WoW itself, because of lacking money (no job, no money, no more videogames, so paying only per month 12'99 €s was the most viable option for me). Regardless of this, the thing is that ... after I finished with so many struggles in said degree period, it left me as an empty, broken man, with no purpose at all. Many bad things happened during my degree and stuff, making practically the worst period of time of my entire life, but the worst part is that it left me quite heartbroken such period of time (took me EIGHT years, the DOUBLE of what it would take any normal person to finish said degree). Anyway, since then, I've been struggling with what to exactly do with my life for almost two years. I've found about this guy named Tai Lopez (and many, many more entrepreneurs guys like him), who enlighted me about this world of e-business and stuff like that, which would make me potentially own a business and have my own financial freedom. In the meantime, however, I was in a master degree about 3D / 2D animation, and ... it didn't go well. Definitely tried about drawing stuff, not my thing at all, so I ended up abandoning it. Nowdays, now I'm in a company doing, what I'd call, 'business practices'. In short, you work for a company for free while in exchange they teach you their stuff, like in this case, about computing / coding for videogames. But yet again, a similar mistake like with this master degree I mentioned before: not my thing neither. I'll return to my native city quite soon (since I'm a town like place, far from it), and I don't know what else to do. Before me, there are two simple paths: one, to own a business on my own, or two, trying to get into the videogame industry on my own, as someone who knows A LOT of videogames' fundamentals, theories, ways of making them in a design perspective, and so on (and I repeat, I know like A LOT, trust me, I studied so many sources like Extra Credits or Game Maker's Toolkit, many unpopular critics, etc., etc.). I don't think it won't bother me to quit videogames, but I don't know if for good, 'forever'. Look, if I mentioned I played MMOs quite so (and even recently), is because I definitely abandoned FFXIV, SW:TOR and WoW at all, trust me, I don't mind now to get back into playing more normal videogames, the more offline ones, you know. Specially because of them (the online ones), I couldn't be productive to find even a proper job AFTER I left the animation master degree. It was quite a disaster trip of mine for many reasons. Without being productive at all, nothing good came out of it. Then I picked these business practices I mentioned, and you know the rest ... BUT, I also have ways and means to get into the videogame industry (perhaps) as a kind of 'investigator'. A person who spent many years researching, studying and investigating the videogames' core in many aspects, so I could quite encourage to create more minded videogames, for purposes going beyond of the mere typical ends of simple entertainment. Ever heard of Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice? Well, that's the direction where I want to go, more or less. But, I'm not sure if I'd be succesful in such field more or less. Who knows? I'm quite passionate about videogames (what I often dislike is how badly focused they are for fun purposes and barely invested into more useful ways for the people), and maybe it fits me such path, maybe not ... but one thing may be for sure is that I MUST try to quit videogames addiction for good though, so a cleverer answer shall come out from it once I'm done with it. The 90 day detox is quite interesting for me, but alas, no money to pay it for now. Sorry. My path may be unclear in the future for now, but I have one way to get out of this vicious cycle for sure: no videogames for a goddamn, good while. Sorry for the huge wall of text, but I couldn't find a proper way to express about mysef for now. Yikes ... TL;DR VERSION: I struggled with many things in my past and, for now, I'm not entirely sure what to do at the end of my life: do I try to make my own path into the videogame industry? Or do I just own a business of any kind to make it financially? Who knows, we shall see ... after I'm free from the videogames' addiction burden. I desire you the best, though. May you have best of luck, game quitters. Sincerely: Erdall.
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Erdall joined the community
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Breaking the cycle is tough, but you're here talking it about it now, so congrats! I'm an ex-pot user (not legal in Aus), for 3 yrs I smoked heavily everyday and didn't take any breaks (Only forcibly when I couldn't get ahold of any, but would be spending all my time 'sober' trying to get more). I'm 1 and a half yrs sober now. I only quit pot cause I found something much more important to me. It's something that really connected with me on a personal level, where I felt like I NEED to do it. Before then, I distanced myself from my buddies (We haven't been friends since) and began focusing on myself. I did that because I felt like I was losing myself, not staying true to who I was and was nothing how I was before. I just kept smoking alone, but started to explore all day - what I want to learn/know? What do I want to get out of life? What do I think is cool? It was like a process of re-discovering myself. The best thing about it was I was never focused on quitting and actually had no intention of quitting pot. I was just so involved, excited and happy to be focusing on myself again and learning. I highly recommend you explore your interests. Especially explore on youtube if you don't know what you want to do. Watch videos about specific things you'd want to try or have interest in as a hobby. Find things you want to learn about. A next step above that would be to set yourself a goal (an intention) based around something you WANT to do. Gaming always has progression - but ppl don't really set themselves goals irl (A system of progression). As for one on one talk, i've got a counsellor (I'm a woman btw) and she's more of a life coach to me than what I expected from a counsellor (Tho i've been with her for almost 5yrs now). If you're not wanting a counsellor, surely there's some life coaches or something alike to that out there that could also help you. I'd try looking around locally first before the internet to look for one. It's hard to keep your honesty without physicallity imo.
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Hello. You sir, are amazing. Disconnecting the internet from the house! that's genius! Have you deleted steam account, and sold all the games and consoles? All those things will make it almost impossible to get into the habits you want to remove from your life. Now you will have a huge hole to fill. You will experience a lot of negative emotions, and you know that. The initial phase is always the worst. There are many good books out there that have helped me rise. Atomic Habits, and 12 rules for life. Give them a read or a listen, they are on audible. Don't worry about your age, I started to rise after 30. And almost 3 years later I cant recognize myself or my thoughts. Even if I relapse, its not such a big deal, The trick is to make most of the days great, not all of them. We are not supermen, and we must allow ourselves to fall, but must never stay down. Good luck.
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Relapsed after completing my goal, back at it now
dahankus replied to dahankus's topic in Daily Journals
Day 79. Habits completed counter: 57 Crazy days..... but I love it. So much progress, so much activity. My home pc broke down yesterday, it turns on all the lights but there is no initial "Beep" nor display on monitors, and a small red CPU LED is glowing near the CPU. Going to switch out my power supply, I hope that that os all that it is, otherwise I am going ot have to conjure extra money for new parts or laptop. Shit happens, I will deal with it. I get the occasional nostalgia feeling for games, but nothing special. I am not a gamer. I am a warrior of light. -
Relapsed after completing my goal, back at it now
dahankus replied to dahankus's topic in Daily Journals
I don't believe in the things that cannot be proven, but thanks for the good will. -
Wow, this has been a long time since I last wrote on this forum. Not happy about what happened in the meantime. I relapsed like crazy and did not find a way out yet. I played the hole night today and had no sleep at all. This is going to be a rough day for me. Right now after this experience I wanna do what I already did one time when I quit gaming for over a year. I wanna put away my computer. Bring it to a place, where there is no chance to even see it. I haven't found a place till now, but I'm surely going to. The only electronics I'll have is my Nokia I once posted a picture of it here. Just to be available for the case. I need to feel this boredom really hardd to get away from something, also I have to really get used to another method of solving problems. This will probably be my last post for a long time. Maybe I find some time during school to write how it is going, but rather not. I just want to disconnect from everything. I wish everyone here a good time and much success at whatever your projects and plans are. Cheers, Sapuverell
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Habits die quickly Forgot to write yesterday. Yes, I was tired and all of that, but I don't give excuses anymore. Even though My entries have been smaller and more superficial than before, I don't want to let this habit die. In fact, I want to improve it. Thing is: while bad habits are easy to form and hard to kill, good ones are the opposite. I must watch myself. Lately, I'm having some cravings. My routine has not been ideal this last week, and I think both things are related. I still find myself procrastinating a lot about my task. French is the only one I've been consistent on the last 10 days or so. I've been writing fewer poems as well. I believe making a twitter account was a mistake and although I've been successful at limiting my time at it, it still isn't good for me. I'll probably end up deleting or disabling this account. I need to revert to the basics, refocus on my priorities, go back to the clarity I had when I was sick. Maybe the trick for success is to get the flu? Confused, but onward, I guess.
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UPDATE: Lasted Till Day 50 Taking a Step Back, I realized Gaming was simply a chink the issues that have been affecting me for a while. I've learned how to cut people out of my life and finally saw my grades spike, Naval BGO Spoke to me, Called me a "Diamond in the Rough". Funny. For my whole life, I've always been one...just trying to find the right jeweler to refine me. I'm glad I've been finally able to grow and finally make progress. Special Thanks @Ikar @30_yrs_of_gaming Without you guys. I wouldn't have been inspired enough to just back away and truly look in the mirror.
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Hey John, I second what James and fawn said. I'm really sorry to hear about your past couple of days. Life really just tries to beat us down sometimes, and there's not much we can do to stop it. I hope you catch a break soon--you deserve it after all of this. Your attitude throughout this is actually very inspiring to me. I would've been flattened by this for days. Hang in there, bud, and RIP to Tiger.
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Day 51 (51 day streak) 100% gaming and gaming-content free. Didn't have too many urges today. I did thumb through my phone searching for news headlines a little bit at work when I was testing equipment and waiting, but that was about it. I also didn't have any music on and didn't surf while eating dinner, which I don't usually do. That's a bad habit and one I really want to get rid of. I got up before my alarm today, though technically I sat in bed (aiming for 8 hours). I left my house very early compared to recent days and had some time to read in the car before work started. Work was busy as usual. I had a meeting with my boss and I told him straight up that I'm resigned to the fact that I can't juggle everything I've been trying to right now. He seemed understanding. I had to stay at work late though because my equipment testing was marred by equipment troubleshooting. I know its literally my job to fix things, but I often wish things didn't break. Oh well. I also finished the first "pillar" in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. The chapter talked a lot about the need to be conscious and present to reality. In a way, ignoring reality and running from it is in part seated in fear and a lack of confidence in one's ability to handle reality. There was a really awesome paragraph in this book that talked about addiction and how some of it is rooted in fear and escapism. I really identified with this. As a result of reading this chapter, I've been trying to be mindful of when I start trying to escape. I'm trying to face some of these problems more head on. Speaking of, one of those is not going to the gym. It's late, but I want to start hitting the gym more. I did a small bit of cardio yesterday at my apartment complex gym, but today I should really go and lift at the real gym. I might go do an attenuated workout tonight. I'm kind of impressed about today. Days like today give me hope.
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I submitted my application for the apartment today. I really hope it works. I can move in next week if I get approved so it's something to look forward to.
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Fawn_xoxo daily; thoughts, goals & evaluation
fawn_xoxo replied to fawn_xoxo's topic in Daily Journals
Day 201. Days without games: 175/201. No caffeine: Day 3No sweets: Day 1Will I play today? Yes, 4 hours. Yesterday I succeeded in not playing games, but I did check in with my online gamer friends late in the day. I felt the urge to do so the moment I was home, alone, with nothing else to do. But I also felt bad for having that urge. Why does it feel bad ? It does. I feel guilty for having that urge. I'll write more tomorrow -
Situations like these are really difficult and no words can do anything, I think. But I'll tell you this, you are being extremely brave for sticking to your goals through this, really brave. Good job.
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Journal enteries where i contemplate video games and my life in general
Epux replied to Epux's topic in Daily Journals
Day 15 So today i slipped up and played a mobile game while i waited for food at a café (play time estimation: 3 minutes) and i searched for video game related stuff on duckduckgo. I also watched a lot of game related videos on youtube but most of my searches was like: "Destroying my ps4" "the nintendo switch sucks" and negative thigs like that. While i waited at the café i was bored and after reading a bit in my book i did not feel like reading anymore, so i took up my phone ( i had switched back to my simple Nokia phone the previus day) and tought "sure why not i can play a little bit" and i started but pretty quickly i got bored of that to and stoped, looking around the room insted while waiting. And with the videos on youtube i think its because i have feelt extra bored the last few days and feeling a little depressed, so that why i was weaker today. But there is a new day tomorrow, one step at a time. You can do this. -
I may have "liked" your post but I'm really just trying to send some love your way. God damn, man, life is really testing you these past couple of weeks. If you make it through this you can make it through anything. We're always here for you buddy. R.I.P Tiger.
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Day 86 18.06.19 Gratitude journal Today I am grateful for having quite a few sports activities and and that many injuries. Today I am grateful for a nice day. One amazing thing that happened/I did today 1) started studying intensly for the next exam and looked through my old notes and during the day I could remember more and more stuff which was really great and helped a lot even though the last lecture was at the end of January Workout/run 1,5h playing baskteball more than 12k steps Meditation 15min in the morning Visualisation and daily affirmation a bit of visualisation for the next exam and I will use affirmations in the next few days again but it is difficult because at moment I am showering in the evening most of the time which kills this morning routine Reading (4,5hours of studying for the next exam today) had time for learning spanish, studied maybe 4.5 hours with high intensity (it seems there is quite a difference to studying if you like the topic) my wake-up time between 8 and 9o'clock (I am trying to meditate before using my mobile phone to have clearer head for my start in the morning) Weekly Goal(s) start waking up at 6:30am, study at between 5 and 8hours per day, have at least 2 perfect days in a row, get my weight under 80kg Monthly Goal to study at least 4 hours a day (or as average over the weeks), be more grateful for everything in life, find the joy of living in the moment, think hard about my values and what kind of person I want to be, find ways to avoid falling back to old habits in times of boredom 3 Month Goal getting my degree or getting it nearly done so that at least at the end of July I have it in my hands, having a really productive life, living my life so that I am proud of it What went well today: (NF:2/NW:0/NS:1/NC:3) had time for it for spanish, meditation and played basketball again, studied 4.5 hours like the topic a lot so far 🙂 What I could have done to make my day better maybe study an extra hour and do some tai-chi, more streching my last real restday was Friday and I am starting to feel it especially during basketball What I will do differently tomorrow/What I have planned for tomorrow: wake up around 7, go to work , go to the Tai-chi course, study 2 to 3 hours for the next exam, meditate, do some spanish Weekly summary, thoughts and improvements for the future ----
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Day 8 - 18th June # of days free from: Gaming - 9 Reddit - 9 Twitch - 4 What filled me with enthusiasm today? I realised that I could actually obtain my scuba license and do all of the necessary courses to become an underwater photographer really easily while travelling around Asia. Much nicer than doing it in a pool in the UK! What drained me of energy today? My diet, and my inability to stop watching YouTube videos. I appear to be "addicted" to food videos. Bon Apetit, Sorted, Best Ever Food Review Show, you name it. Should be a bit different when I move to Thailand, however, slow Internet and constant working will put a stop to YouTube binging (hopefully). What did I learn about myself today? Although I'm hesitant to get started, whenever I sit down and do something creative like play guitar or draw a picture, I get engrossed in this powerful flow state. I could do it for hours, except you know, sleep is necessary. I definitely regret stifling my creative side for most of my life, instead choosing to devote myself to physics instead of music. Sure, learnt a lot doing a physics degree, but I feel like a big chunk of who I really am got taken away. Plenty of time to get it back, though!
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Day 58: In the morning, I mowed the lawn, I also made a call to check up my car tomorrow. I did Duolingo and some heavy Iceland research overall throughout the day - jobs, clothes, gear insurance, basically everything. I decided to postpone going to the shop for the tent for that matter, so I can buy everything relevant there all at once. I visited my grandma. For whatever reason, she and my mom seem quite hell-bent on me sending a letter to my ex, stating the fact I finished my first year on the university. She already mentioned it the last week, but I conjured up something better - sending her a letter from Iceland. There's a very personal element to doing that, as it was a decision/wow to my ex I made in November the last year. Back then, I wanted to get out of the country and she gave me the destination, so combined, it turned out perfect, even if she's not around. There was a period when we communicated after we broke up, especially after I joined GQ. I was fairly direct about throwing "truth-bombs" my way as I came up with them, but once I got around what is needed to sort myself out, I realized what is needed for her to match my new standards. While I was serious and honest communicating my flaws, she wouldn't take kindly whatever her mistakes could've been in my estimations. Perhaps I sounded like a parent, a bit patronizing, but the saying "Takes one to know one." applies to narcissists 100%, since I never got a serious message back from her. Since the "truth-bombs" already fell, I plan my letter to be kinder than whatever I sent before, as I want her genuine response. Perhaps some things clicked for her as they did for me. Realizing I was unconsciously malevolent towards her in the relationship in some very subtle ways was quite a discovery. Even I realized that there was a long way of struggles I had to go through before I found GQ and that it's those small steps forward that eventually got me here. It'll be a test; she's either stuck in her own personal hell, that I got to know very well and that I can point my finger at and say "Hell is real.", or she's working towards becoming a better person. Either one is motivating for me. People are peculiar beings though and I believe everyone is digging their way to hell and building their staircase to heaven at the same time, it just depends on whichever way you work in faster. I legitimately think my consciousness got upgraded to see that clearly, among other things. I'm more responsible; I work out, educate myself, plan the trip, help around the house more, connect to parents and friends better and plan my actions better. I wasn't able to do that with her around, so I doubt the fact I'd be secretly desperate to get her back. I had fun English teaching today, playing some games with the students. I think I am striving towards "English - experienced" more than "English - taught" approach and I think that's good.
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One thing I'd add: I would be REALLY interested in successful or semi-successful people's daily struggles. Things that are never asked in a mainstream media interview. Maybe somebody successful also struggles with browsing reddit, or waking up, or obsessive thoughts, or feeling they're not enough, or they neglect their hygiene or their room is always messy or they watch porn too much etc. And how they're dealing with it. Like a real, raw, how does your average, boring day looks like.
