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  1. Today
  2. Day 6 It's funny how the mind works. All week I've been busy, no problems really. As soon as I submitted my work, I started thinking: "you could play a little", "you got a lot done, you could play couple of hours in the evenings", "are you really going to skip classic wow release", "why be such an extremist, just play a little" Extremist. For not playing games. For less than a week. Beyond ridiculous. It's really odd. Like, right now, I don't even want to play. At all. I'm not even sure last time really had fun playing anything. Seems more like work than fun, most of the time. And yet... it would be so easy, to click the night away. Anyway, going to visit some relatives tomorrow so that'll take up most of the day.
  3. Hey Stivmorrison, Playing WoW classic is a personal decision you can make. I get the good memories with the game. Just ask yourself one question before you do. Do you want to undo the hard work you put into getting up to 5 months without games? Will this game benefit you at all other than going down memory lane? I wish you the best with what you choose my friend. 🙂
  4. Hey mate, I read some of your last journal posts and it really seems like you are crushing it! Good job! What are you studying?(Probably you posted somewhere already)
  5. Day 147-151 18.08.19-22.8.19 Gratitude journal Today I am grateful for having such funny and easy going friends. Today I am grateful for a great vacation., One amazing thing that happened/I did today 1)the water heater of our rented apartment broke down on the first day but we stayed strong and instead of complaining or looking for an alternative just showered cold until the end of the vacation^^ Workout/run around 8k steps and more then 1h swimming per day Meditation 5to10 min each morning Visualisation and daily affirmation left them out for the duration of the vacation Reading (0hours of studying for the exam today) had neither time for spanish nor studying my wake-up time around 8:00 each day Weekly Goal(s) start waking up at 6:30am, study at between 5 and 8hours per day, have at least 2 perfect days in a row (for the next week not this one) Monthly Goal to study at least 4 hours a day (or as average over the weeks), be more grateful for everything in life, find the joy of living in the moment, think hard about my values and what kind of person I want to be, find ways to avoid falling back to old habits in times of boredom especially now in the summer 3 Month Goal getting my degree or getting it nearly done during the summer, having a really productive life, living my life so that I am proud of it, avoid the comfort zone as much as possible What went well today: (NF:6/NW:0/NS:0/NC:67) did some meditation, relaxed at lot of the days at the beach in the sun, did a bit of Tai-chi, the vacation was great What I could have done to make my day better ------ What I will do differently tomorrow/What I have planned for tomorrow: wake up around 8, clean the flat, go to the gym, study and maybe go playing basketball or for a run, do a normal diary again in the evening^^ Weekly summary, thoughts and improvements for the future -----
  6. Hey what’s up. Today is my 14th day of the detox and so it’s been two weeks and I feel pretty good. There are things that could improve such as my energy levels dropping after like 30min of waking. I also exercise 2 hours everyday so. My schooling is going good and my business is getting going finally. I would procrastinate and procrastinate but I finally have started getting it going. Also I did not feel like getting up today because of all week full day productive the past week, but I remembered what my mentor said. He said inertia is acting on us when we sleep at night and that is why we don’t want to get up in the morning but if you it’s an object in motion tends to stay in motion. It worked. I told my body nope your getting up and we are going to be productive and I’m up.
  7. Its probably for all different, but for myself its also harder to quit internet usage for dopamin in general than quitting games. So I think its good that you are honest with yourself and try to improve that. Gz for your new job mate :)!
  8. Day 116 No VG - 116 days, No SAH - 12 days, NF - 1 day (1/7) Busy, busy, busy. I don't have time to think during the week. I got a new laptop at work and it is SO MUCH FASTER. I didn't realize how much time I wasted waiting. I'm very happy about this. Today was reasonably productive. Tomorrow is going to be nuts though. As will Monday. However, I'm going to bear it. Just keep motoring through. If I don't, everyone else pays, and my future self pays. I need to keep pushing myself to get tougher.
  9. Day 109, Aug 22 Today was a pretty good day and I'm happy with the way I handled it. Found time to cook healthy meals, work, and hit the gym for a cardio sesh, all while being sick. Being able to say I'm actually proud of my day instead of feeling shame is actually pretty great. The best part of today was I got to talk to this super quiet / shy girl that I've never seen talk to anyone before for like 15 minutes on my break at work today. I've wanted to talk to her for weeks, felt awesome to finally break the ice. It went really well too. Legit pumped right now. Anyway, I'm going to ride this good feeling into tomorrow and have another good day so I can build that momentum I was talking about yesterday. Then I can start killing it again. Go me! 100 pushups a day counter 38 no fap: 48 days
  10. Yesterday
  11. TTT

    90 days

    Day 63 (thu): Full day at work. Good before and after. Time for bed, and right on time. Habit Tracker: Good habits: 213; Procrastination: -810; Addictions: -70; Other bad habits: -23; Identity total: -690
  12. Ikar

    Ikar's Diary

    Day 124: Alright, the time is finally ripe for a big update. Some of it are gonna be my own thoughts of my past and some of them are gonna be things I discussed with the people I know. Going back to my past, I am inclined to believe that the relationship was the classic romantic love. There was passion, there was connection, but no lasting trust/commitment. All of that was done unconsciously. That is probably nothing new, however it might be the explanation for my drive for connection/sex I am working on experiencing again, BUT also consciously throwing in the responsibility/trust factor in to make the next relationship last longer. I am still new to the concept of responsibility, but I believe I made a good headway the last 4 months. I also notice the "savior" complex to try and help someone (without going into much detail IF they actually deserve/need help) is still present in me. It was there when I tried to "help" my ex out of depression, it was still partly there when we had some issues on the workplace recently. I have to be conscious of that and try to cop around for the justice of others less. Their problems are theirs and my problems are mine. That's that. Another one I found out is that "If you want peace, prepare for war." applies to human relationships as well. It sounds strange, but for example if I call out someone on lying to me, I do not do it to invalidate all the good things they have done before and show them they are completely untrustworthy. I do it because I want to make them aware of it and find out why they were lying AND I will be happy if they return the favor sometime in the future when I might get out of line myself. Honestly, I do not think one can maintain this kind of a relationship with everyone they regularily meet. Family, romantic partner and friends, and that is probably all. It will probably not include a random Joe at work, though maybe if you call him out and he accepts the callout gracefully, you might become friends through that. Who knows, life is weird! Back to the saying, I would say most people are not prepared for war with most people, so peace (which I guess is friendship in this analogy) is impossible and rather, they have an armistice. Chances are there is plenty of unmarked mines laying around, ready to blow up and send them both to war. And a classic to top it off, you cannot make someone change. They can be a liar, racist, arrogant prick, stomping kids' sandcastles on a beach - whatever. You can perhaps try to make them aware of the issue, but that is all you can do. It was sure a long entry, but it sums up my summer work experience and a few other bits that help me understand myself and others.
  13. Day 65 - Game free! I’m back home. Work is sending me right back out to a remote locale. Exciting. I will be finishing my detox there. Got my laptop back from warranty. Tonight will be a real test, but I have plenty to keep me busy before my flight in the morning. One day at a time... Have had a few conversations with women that were nice.
  14. Day 57 - Nostalgia and stress For the past 2 days I've been getting some above average cravings. What I've realized is that my biggest triggers are unplanned days and fear of failure. If I'm not working and don't plan to go out, it usually just turns into a sad, empty day. It's crucial that I plan and do everything i set out for each day. Or I'm going to relapse. Another craving problem which is even more problematic is fear of failure. When I sit down and decide I'm gonna do something, this overwhelming fear strikes me. I feel like I can't do it, like i failed already. It all comes back to confidence. These new tasks are going to be tough. I need to get through them if I want to grow. Or I'll live thinking what If forever. Fear paralizes me and wants me to go back to my comfort zone, gaming. I'm scared of trying to do difficult tasks. I feel like I can't outrun my cravings. I'm working on it. I'll figure it out. This weekend I'll force my self to learn some blogging skills. I need confidence. I also want to walk up and start conversations with random girls. I'll force my self to do some during the weekend. At the end of the day... I should be happy I got through another day of the detox. It isn't much, but atleast I didn't give up. Tomorrow's a new day and a new challenge. Everything's in arms reach, all I gotta do is fight for it everyday. HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!
  15. Any area that encourages or facilitates "anonymous keyboard warriors" is going to be a cesspool. Social media has given us the impression that we are entitled to an opinion and everyone wants to hear it (and that it is right). Social media has a lot to answer for!
  16. You got this Moegli! I am glad you are not too hard on yourself. If you stick around in San Fran long enough, they might throw a 49ers jersey on you! I heard their QB situation is not very good. My relapses were in the same situations, thinking "sweet, nothing to do for a few days, no guilt here!" but the guilt is always there after hitting the X button. Besides, there is always something to do when you have kids, right? Cleaning, chores, prepping, planning. No time to waste!
  17. Day 5 Pretty good day. Sitting at a desk all day when you're not gaming is pretty exhausting though. Have to start doing some sort of exercise, or go for a walk at least. Did a really short walk today just to clear my head for a bit, helped a lot. On the weekend I should finish my schedule for the rest of the year, and plan some routine and make some time for things I've meant to. Like, I've been planning to do meditation for ages, but never stuck with it. This might be the time, only this time i'll start off really slow, 10 minutes max. I like the idea of it, but I tried doing it like 30-40 minutes a day and after 2 days.. never did it again. Way harder than it seems. Plan for tomorrow: finish up the thing, not much left.
  18. Day 71/90 (79% complete... until I increase my goal!) Day 0/90 (0% complete... until I increase my goal!) So today I'm resetting my counter. I'm being honest with myself and acknowledging what my behavior has been like. At the beginning of this journey, I stated I was going to cut out media that threw free dopamine into my brain. I have not been good with that goal. I have not picket up a controller or mouse to play a game in 71 days, that is very real. However, I let porn creep back into my routine. Twice in the last few weeks, I've been reading manga on my (previously) preferred manga site. Just the regular ones that I keep myself up to date on. I haven't really binged on Manga in quite a long time. My previously preferred site always has gaming and fantasy sex game adds on the sides of the page. I gave in and clicked on them, and played for a few minutes both times for masturbation purposes, then I logged off. Overall, it feels like I've violated my own word and I can no longer continue with my previous counter, because it feels false now. Even though it wasn't truly gaming, I'm sure it was still doing the same thing to my brain, which is the problem overall, so we're back to zero starting today. I'm not too worried about this ^, I'll get there, and I've already made a lot of good progress in my life. In fact, I'm not at work today, because I got a new job!!!! THE SEARCH IS OVERRR!!!! YES! I start next Tuesday, and yesterday was my last day at my previous shitty company. I've got 5 days in a row to just enjoy myself. There has already been gym time and gardening today, plus some planning with my first business trip ever (which I'm very excited for). On my way back from the gym I had a weird moment that I wasn't expecting to have - I was craving gaming! That feeling hasn't shown up for me in weeks, so I was totally unprepared for it. Something about having 5 days to just do whatever I want with no obligations put me back to where I used to be. My endurance for not craving gaming might have diminished because I did the sexy fantasy gaming yesterday. It only lasted a moment, and I moved on. But it was kind of weird. I supposed the craving demon was going to pop it's sharp and wrinkled face up at some point. I'm very excited for my new job. It's a 47% increase in pay, the job description (information modeler/API diagrammer) is something I'm thrilled about because I'm a diagram geek, and the new company is already flying me out to San Fran for training and they have been begging me to accept the position. They are treating me VERY well in comparison to the shitty company I'm leaving. They're treating my skillset with a sense of awe and respect, which is a totally different environment to be in. I feel like I'm being treated as a professional right off the bat with these guys, and I love it! ... I think I'll keep it there for now. Not too much, but really good things on the horizon. 🙂
  19. Mate, whats up? Let us hear how its going!
  20. Guys, I’m out of playing any digital games about 5 months. Yesterday I created 3 characters on a server of wow classic that will be open on 26/07. WoW was one of my best games, and brings me a lot of happy and sad memories. And the launch of the classic version is breaking me down. What should I do? Keep strong or give a chance to this game experience? Thanks!
  21. Hey guys what’s up! Today is my 13th day of my 90 day detox and I’m still improving in energy and mood everyday. My business is also on track along with school so that’s good feeling. Today I’m also going to a party at Pizza Hut which sounds super good after school. Today will be a good day. Peace!
  22. First night of the 90 day detox and I am extremely nervous. I have the feeling that I’m going to have a moment of weakness and just hop on the computer and game for hours on end. But I know what I want in my life and I know that the urge to game is just my brains automatic response. It’s time to take control of my life let’s do this.
  23. Nice job. It's really great when you feel proud of yourself after meeting a benchmark. Especially since this journey started with pain and resentment toward the benchmark you've now met and feel good about. Keep up the good work. After 43 weeks I can tell you there will always be ups and downs but the larger the number gets the more backbone you feel in your self esteem as you learn to stand taller.
  24. https://gamequitters.com/dashboard/ Welcome btw, good luck with your detox. My life has definitely gotten better since leaving the games behind.
  25. Also, I just bought Respawn but can’t seem to find it. Does it take a while to get sent or am I missing something?
  26. thanks for the advice. I think you are right about dating at work. I think because it's my main social outlet right now and the only way I meet new people its probably natural that I'm feeling this way. I want to try to meet girls in another way but I don't know if I'm ready for it yet, rejection sucks a bunch. Thanks again ! Day 108, Aug 21 Wow I haven't posted in a while. I didn't realize it had been this long, it was mostly on purpose but also a bit of laziness in there. So I followed my goals from my last post for a few days before life got too busy again and things began to revert back and I failed again. Sigh. I'm pretty frustrated, I just feel like I can never stick to my goals and something always gets in the way. That being said, today was probably my best day in about a week and I feel good about getting back on track. I just need to generate a bit of momentum and I can really start to perform at the level I want to be. Newton's 1st law states an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion. I know this is true because I experienced it already during my detox back in the first 40ish days where I was just crushing it with productivity. Anyway, I'll try to be brief today. I think I'm at an important phase now and I know what I need to do. I just need to fucking do it. Btw, I'm still killing it with no fap, setting a new record every day that goes by now. Honestly, most days its effortless. I think I may actually be able to pull off 100+ days. Did I just curse myself? 100 pushups a day counter 38 no fap: 47 days
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