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  1. Today
  2. Cobain

    seeking advice on cold turkey

    I can do all my work on an iPad honestly. Im not sure why I can’t just delete it, feels like a massive part of me.
  3. Cam Adair

    My New Chapter

    Hi Matt! I've quit smoking cannabis as well - helped me a lot!
  4. Cam Adair

    Casual gamer but surely addicted

    Glad you found us!
  5. fawn_xoxo

    Fawn_xoxo daily; thoughts, goals & evaluation

    Day 33-37, Wednesday-Sunday December 5-9th 2018No sugar daysNo gaming day 15-16I'll start with the obvious: Why is my counter 15-16 instead of 15-19? Because I did get online, spoke with people from the game community and gamed, three non sequential days the past week. The first day it was fine and I felt unaffected by it, I actually couldn't wait to log off cause I was tired. The second day I felt a mix of feelings, old urges pulling at me and reminding me of the dangers lurking for me in this virtual place. (I'm a little metaphorical and artistic, bear with me xD) The third day which was yesterday, Sunday, I felt both good and bad, and the bad side was connected to the fact I could tell, from all the times I've done this before, how easy it is to roll down the slippery slope and make this just another failed attempt. But it won't be. So now to the positive updates. I had to really push myself to 'just do it' when it comes to picking up my pens to draw. There first and second day were hard: When you are old and conscientious that you suck at something and your ego is crying about it, you have to just persevere and continue with starting from zero anyway. I did pick up my pens, I did draw, following a specific curriculum from a very good instructor. He gives me hope and knowing which direction to work towards is really important. He points out exactly what a newbie like me is after, the final result, the great art piece, but explains how you have to build up to that like a house. First, it has to be messy and dirty. The pretty stage comes last. So I'm trying to make my peace with that truth, and I'm also drawing every day in the morning, trying to establish it as a habit. In reading the book Atomic habits, I'm trying to implement the things it explains and how, to have the results you want, you need to focus on being consistent about the habits that create them. I don't draw just in the morning, usually. I stop drawing before I get frustrated and impatient with myself, and I come back later the same day. This is how it's been so far at least, alas the goal is to draw at least once per day, establish it as a habit. Another thing the book says is that in order not to give up you should try a 4% higher than your current skill level in your attempts to get better, not too big a challenge but not easy either, so that you are neither discouraged nor bored. I have established and still am working on my fairly early morning rise. I used to wake up at 10 or 12 and linger for hours- now I have an alarm at 8 and because I plan my day from before in my organizer, I have the feeling I'm behind if I don't get up and start doing stuff at 9. Some days that was pushed to 10 but that's okay, not perfect, but progressing. As I've said to other fellow recovering addicts here, we ought to compare only to our own past selves and no one else- and in that I'm doing better than I used to. What's important for me to say to myself, which is half the reason I write here, is to acknowledge that I haven't achieved the busy lifestyle I require to be balanced yet, thus getting online with my game acquaintances isn't safe. It's very dangerous and might turn one hour I intended to waste into three. Another thing I want to say even if it's been said already the past days is that being here and reading and contributing is majorly important and beneficial to me. Thank you all. I also feel that, together, all of us, are gaining momentum. We are from all over the world, but we are in this together, even if only through text communications. Do you feel this way too? The battle against sugar is going well considering my past. I track it via a mobile app, and so far I've had at most a two days off sugar streak. Working on it. I think that's all for now. If you're reading this, just remember: you, we all, can do it!
  6. fawn_xoxo

    Daily Journal - Samon

    It's a good idea, the best actually, to start your day with the most challenging task. That's because we as humans have very limited will power and motivation, and as the day progresses and we get physically more tired, the will power goes away too. On the other hand, listen to yourself. Those feelings you experience, stop and give yourself the time to process them. Why does it feel bad? Is it an exaggeration out of fear of failure or it actually because that action is against your values and goals and your feelings are warning you about it? Just explore that and get to know yourself better through it.
  7. dirkj3

    Day 6!

    Day6 Relapsed PMO during night time. Have any advice what to do when you aren't tired?
  8. Silverlining

    Every day is a new day

    Thank you. Even if we play this RPG, it will take a couple of hours per week at most. Last time we did this was over a year ago. My husband played an RPG while I watched. After 5 months we still didn't finish half of that game and then we read about the rest of the story online.😂 We don't prefer this way of spending time together than other ways. It's just that I'm kind of emotionally attached with this game studio and I feel that I'll pay for the game anyway. It's complicated. Anyway, I'm not gonna think over this now. I'll focus on the important things in my life at the moment.
  9. JustTom

    JustTom's Journal 2: Summer Edition

    Full Detox Day 57/90 | Got up: No | Pomodoros: 0 | Wasted Time: all of it Here comes the inevitable failure day. When I finally got up at 6pm, I was so disappointed by myself that I just sat around watching youtube the whole day. Now it's 1:30 in the night, I'm going to stay up long and make small steps towards being productive, I'm feeling a bit better now. No cravings towards gaming or gaming media. Just a bit of left-over depression. I am reminding myself that I need patience. Even though I can just TASTE the results how close they are, it's still going to take time and there will be down-turns and that's okay. I will get there very soon, just not in weeks. Finish the remaining two courses, keep e-mailing people for supervision and finish the last 10 days of school. Don't worry as much about the lost social opportunities, they will come after the winter break as well. New ones, better ones, more of them. I'm doing excellent and I'm an amazing person so I'll just keep being me and striving towards my goals.
  10. Yesterday
  11. ThatFrenchGuy

    ThatFrenchGuy's Field Study

    Hello again. Haven't posted in ages. Betrayed the cause here, both for myself and the commitments I've willingly made here. I obviously haven't started posting here again without reason. I'll make a quick rundown of what happened in these 6 months, it'll probably do me good too to look over what I've achieved and where I've failed in that time. The internship I had ended with success. I got extremely positive feedback from my mentor and the overall experience was a very maturing one. The actual world of business is much more down-to-earth than what we're taught and the attitude is very different from what I expected. It did allow me to set a life goal clear - environmental policy in the business world is not what I'm looking for, and I can't stand how everything is based on the premise of making money. I just could not stand the facade everyone had as if they were working in the best company every, and how sales or communication employees were clearly putting on a show for clients. I've had some experience with the associative sector and NGOs, and while everything is a lot more chaotic, but the attitude was much better. It did also allow me to understand that an 8 to 6 job could actually be a good thing (if your free time isn't dominated by traffic) as it gives you the stability you need to explore other things in life. I also learnt that because of my intellectual gifts, I NEED fresh stuff for my brain to feast upon regularly. This has allowed me to somewhat hone in my career path. Get out there guys, try things, you'll never really know otherwise. My third and final year of my bachelor's degree started early September. I had met in Paris with the girl I've been having an awkward flirtatious relationship and it kind of cemented my relationship with her. It was a bit of bumpy ride at first due to "student politics", a bunch of gossip from others and some pretty nasty rumours from people I used to call my friends, I've cut them out of my life now and maintain a decent professional relationship with them. We have had one argument over this hard period caused by rivalries and some pretty mean stuff, but we've gotten over it, and I went from being interested in her to being straight out in love. For the most part she's been an extremely positive influence on my life. She got me eating (mostly) healthy again, fixed my sleep schedule (she refuses to sleep after 11pm/midnight), keeps my away from gaming (more on that later) by spending time with her, saved my ass from an academic perspective (again, more on that later), amongst other things. For the first time in months, I felt truly at ease at times. Time I spent with her was the only time I really relaxed and took a break from everyday stress, in a way gaming never really allowed me to. I'm glossing over many things, which I don't really have time to type for, to get to the point of why I'm here again. I've started this semester out with plenty of good will, lots of good resolutions, but no clear "how". I intended to start gaming again and somehow miraculously be able to achieve controlled consumption. It obviously never happened. Academic challenges, combined with the shitty environment provided by the pricks I used to have as friends, meant that I often turned to gaming. It didn't help that I (whether rightfully or by myself due to lack of attention) lost interest in my courses. Gaming meant my sleep schedule was pretty bad, my health deteriorated with my attendance, and my relationship suffered some hiccups. Now it's exam period and I'm mostly up to snuff. I've caught up on most of the courses (thanks to gf) and revised for the exams so far (thanks to gf). I had an exam on Friday, which while not perfect was a clear improvement over previous semesters (I ran out of time rather than knowledge). So I celebrated by allowing myself some gaming time. Except it spilled over until 4 am. I slept until 11am. I woke up and gamed all day until the early evening. Then I hear ringing at my door. Shit, I had forgotten that my girlfriend was coming over agin (we had spent the entire week together revising because she lives further from the university). My apartment was messier than a trashcan, I was filthy, and I hadn't "woken" from gaming enough to calmly interact with another human being. And I let her ring ring ring in the cold while I just sat there, terrified to even move. She insisted for a good 20 minutes, she had tried calling me but I hadn't charged my phone since I started gaming - the battery was dead. She left and I gamed some more. That's when it hit me again: we've discussed it at the hospital a while back and my psychologist agrees, from a medical standpoint I'm not addicted to gaming (I can absolutely do plenty of other tings for extended periods of time, I just need some other mental stimulus) but that doesn't mean it can't ruin my life. I had literally just shat on the one person who cared for me without judgement. I'd learn later that she had spontaneously brought a cooked meal (since she said she knew that I withdraw and barely on weekends, due to gaming) and brought her cat, which might as well be the best temporary cure for unhappy thoughts; the sweetest thing every when I know that she's an obsessive worker and would rather revise than stress over not remembering enough. She was naturally extremely pissed. But I thought: "That's it, I can't keep on going like that. Gaming and procrastination cost my me last relationship, I'm not losing this one". My parents were by chance coming over the next day, and I told them to take my desktop with them when they would leave. My mother was thrilled and took it away for me. I'm down to my school laptop, with the filth known as steam wiped from the drive. Youtube now runs with the distraction blocker app on safari which removes videos recommendations. I drove to Belgium and back for a few hours with my father to unwind a bit (oh hey, also got my driver's license, which is nice) and I moved forward with applications for master's degrees. I found a golden nugget in the shape of a dual master's degree in international relations and sustainable development from two prestigious universities in France and China. It's like it was made for me, but my grades need to be up there. I'm an excellent student, good when I slack off and game, but the latter isn't enough anymore. This is what I want, and I have to work to get there. Or else I'll be having my first experience of "you're not good enough to be accepted". I talked it through, although somewhat passive-aggressively with my girlfriend, and we mostly got over it. She pretty much summed it up by saying that me having issues was not the problem, but that me refusing to upon up simply because my apartment was shit and I was looking like shit was the most retarded thing ever considering judging me is the last thing she wanted to do. "I don't mind the issues, I mind you refusing help" basically. She's a keeper. So tomorrow I'm doing what I should have done a while ago: sitting at my desk for a few hours to set some rules and lay the foundation for a healthy life (food, exercise, sleep, etc) and actually have someone enforce them with consequences. I'm making my personal constitution basically and having my girlfriend continue to be the coercive positive influence she already it. In the next few weeks I am: Revising for ALL exams Going to ALL exams Sleeping and waking at set hours Eating healthy meals at set hours Keeping contact with friends and family Exercising as much as possible at home or outside Exploring new hobbies to replace gaming Loving my girlfriend who cares for me even with her own stress and insecurities Chances are what you want is right under your nose, waiting for you to discover it, and discover how easy it is to achieve it if you simply make the effort to get up and look. I also cannot understate how important it is that do you not go at it alone. Confessing on forums and sharing ideas is one thing. Being supported and helped by someone who intimately cares for you is another, far more powerful tool. Best of luck in their journey to those who are and aren't reading this.
  12. Hey man, nice you came here! I think many of the people here are like you. Gaming dont let them to make more progress. Gaming although you dont really want to. So you are not alone with this. If you search a buddy, try to look in some Journals maybe you find someone who fits you and you can write them a PM
  13. Samon

    seeking advice on cold turkey

    I mean I understand that you cant sell pc etc. you do need it for work maybe etc. but why are you afraid of selling steam acc or deleting it? I mean you want to never ever game again, right? So no need to keep it. Or what are your thoughts?
  14. Samon

    Daily Journal - Samon

    Wow, yea this picture is really nice. 26/90 without any LoL Content | Played Instrument: Yes! | Coding: Yes! | Learned for driving license: Yes! | Writing in my Journal: Yes, right now! The day was good overall I think. I didnt do much again on coding and learning for driving license, maybe ill watch some more coding vids later again not sure. I am currently at a hard problem so its not easy to make progress in coding. Spent almost whole day in making vids for youtube(just some clips cutted together for entertainment). It somehow feels bad to do things at computer for me, even if they are in some way productive. Probably I feel that because usually you can call mindless surfing on specific websites also as productive, but in truth they arent. Well maybe they are, but they dont bring u exactly something for your targets. So lately I thought again "hey why not making youtube vids to earn some cash", and now I sit 2 days at computer doing that. Its fun and it could get me money, so basically nothing wrong with that, but still feels wrong. I think I have to priotize things more... I need to do the 'must do" first and after it new things I want to try out. There wont be time left for free time, at least not much, but I mean I could decide always on my own whether to do does new things or not(like youtube). Feedback on that would be nice too, what do you think? Yea.. What can I say more? Whether is bad, cold and raining all day here. Was thinking again to write with my gaming friends(which i know real life, but like I said they are not really more than gaming friends) but I think I will not, although its prolly fun to talk again, seeing what they do etc. but at the end it will be again the same. I want to push them, and they disappoint me. It could work if i only see them as not-close friends, but dunno. Thats all for today, see you tomorrow guys
  15. I want to quit

    90 days.

    TBH I just want to throw my phone away, but gaming and youtube is kinda an secretive thing to my family, so idk what to tell when my parents ask why you wanna throw away the phone
  16. I want to quit

    90 days.

    Thanks for the reply! 1- but when I quit gaming, i just watch youtube when I am trying to not play games, and that deters me from studying. I agree that it's really hard to quit youtube, but i think I have to do it, i don't have much time left. But I will definitely remove all my google accounts to one, and delete all 300 subs. 2-I play mobile games, and watch youtube on mobile, do you know a free app that blocks particular apps? thanks 3- I know I shouldn't be sad, but I relapsed over 10 times, and I can't afford to fail more, I have to do it within this month..
  17. JustTom

    Daily Journal - Samon

    I'll just leave this image that @Silverliningposted some time ago in my journal to encourage me. It's very important to keep it in mind at all times.
  18. JustTom

    Every day is a new day

    I would not recommend trying this. EVEN IF this doesn't trigger you to relapse, it's still a massive massive time-sink(assuming it's RDR2 or a similarly long RPG). I think this is just cravings from both of you calling. There are activities that will bring more long-term fullfillment and it's almost never worth spending time on a long game, in my opinion.
  19. Sashiku

    The Person I want to be

    Sunday: I have been very tired lately and my legs and hands are swollen all the time so I don't feel like doing much. The swelling just started last week and It's like constant water weight. it's hard to feel like doing anything when you feel so heavy and tired. If I had insurance I'd see a doctor but alas, I still don't.
  20. Sashiku

    The Person I want to be

    Thanks for the tips. I have been setting a few goals lately so I will continue with that. 🙂 I will definitely try to set aside some me time to think about things.
  21. How I grow some balls and go cold turkey without giving a shit? I dont have the balls to sell my pc or even throw it out or deleting my steam account what are more gradual ways i can deal with this so i can quit already Thanks in advance
  22. Hi I found out about this site by a news article on futurist and I'm very glad to see something like this come to fruition and starting to gain some traction. I think gaming addiction is way more significant than the general public is giving it credit for. I remember thinking this back in 2006 and not being able to find anyone online who agreed with me. It's not nearly as destructive as alcohol or narcotics, but the addictive pull of it is real. While i'm at work on weekdays I daydream about having a clean house and entertaining guests in my home for dinner parties. I like the thought of being a great storyteller, having a closely knit friend group, and a successful career. I like to think about how I'm going to learn new skills and challenge myself to be a better person, be a better friend, and hold an established career. But the instant I get home the games are on. I'm a gamer and as I'm writing this message, I haven't changed out of the same sweatpants and hoodie I've been wearing since Friday night. My wife is out of town seeing some of her high school friends this weekend and I'm home alone filling every hour of freetime in my schedule with games. My kitchen sink is stacked with dishes. My carpets are covered in dog fur. There are blankets and pillows and food wrappers on the floor. There's things in my house that I know need to be cleaned, organized or repaired. I could be researching a cool idea I could bring up to my boss in the next meeting and potentially get a raise or a bonus or a promotion, but I've already spent 14 hours on Saturday playing shooter games, and even after waking up today with feelings of hangover from doing NOTHING the day before, I'm already pretty sure I'm going to be doing the same thing today. I'm not obsessed with it. It doesn't necessarily effect my real life. My relationship with my wife is great, I'm not in danger of getting fired in my low-level corporate job, and I still keep in touch with friends and family every now and again. The thought of owning people in another deathmatch doesn't pollute my thinking day to day. But I do know it's an addiction because some times I won't eat until it hurts, the messes in my house stress me out and I don't do anything about it, I want to have close friends but I don't call or text anyone while I'm playing, and I know I'm capable of so much more things that I know would make me a happier person. As long as I'm playing games, I'm just not reaching for it. I'd like to know what it takes to be an accountability buddy to someone with a similar level of addiction as myself.
  23. Rude

    My New Chapter

    Right on, dude.
  24. Matt C

    My journey

    Hey Pere, It’s been good to hear your story so far. You’ve really come a long way, I’m just starting out myself, but am picking some journals to follow. Yours has been incredible, keep up the good work filling your time with new and often uncomfortable experiences! I was most gobsmacked at how hardcore - regarding gym, getting up early, hustling hard in work - your routine was when you first started out; it’s a kick up my butt to me that I can get myself into a brighter situation within just a couple of weeks and keep building. and again! Screw judgements and haters, you keep following your path for the day which fulfills and challenges you, then everything will continue to fall into place!
  25. Matt C

    My New Chapter

    Hi guys, I'm a 23 year old third year Computer Science and Maths student who's first experience PC gaming at 7 was with Diablo 2 and Starcraft BW. I've given these sorts of posts a go before on On-Line Gamers Anonymous, but my resolve never sticks, although I'm really really committed (but say this every time) - this time I'm most cognizant of this being more than gaming. I'll do my best to keep this brief and stick to what's relevant. I've been playing MOBAs for the last 4 years now, pretty much full on the second I began to play; although thinking about it now I had the ability to spend all day in the library at university, and then spend a few hours at night playing Heroes of the Storm - I've always had an addictive personality and have had extensive experience with Narcotics/Alcoholics Anonymous + eating disorders. I'm in my last year of university, I've always managed to scrape by with little to usually no attendance self learning and cramming for exams, however I'm struggling to get down to work as a result of my degraded self control from gaming. I really need to make sure I graduate with a 2.1, however I've accepted that I must just give it my best and accept what result I graduate with. I've pissed away 12 weeks of work + have extremely poor - basically negligible - coursework and midterm components contributing towards my modules in conjunction with the upcoming January exams. I've managed to quit smoking cannabis - huge co-addiction with gaming. I've surmounted the anxiety of the upcoming exams and accepted the state I'm in - I've been struggling to remove myself from bed in the morning and to "begin" my day though. So it's good to be here, right now it's all about today. I'm going to start a 90 day journal which I'll write up in the evening on the appropriate sub-forum. If anyone has any similar anecdotes i.e. being at university having poor grades and turning it around, being my age and getting to a better place over the space of a few months (I guess I'm impatient, which could be a downfall) - I know I'm still young but university has been such a blur and "waste" of time devoid of any character development
  26. Peregrinator

    My journey

    Day 72 another 07:30 start which I will accept as it is the weekend , I actually ended up with quite a few invites today which was good and feels good. However I went withthe first invite which was to go with a mate to Manchester to do a bit off shopping for the works Xmas do, I wanted a new jacket that I could wear to it. So we set off and then went and parked up in Manchester .Now my mate has a bit more money (and fashion sense) than me so we went into some of the really nice shops such as Hugo Boss and Reiss as he was looking for some decent clothes. It may seem bad but I couldn't help wishing that I had enough money to just go crazy in one of these shops, Like just blowing £500 on a coat or £120 on a shirt I'm not sure I would ever do it but in that moment I jusy wish I had more money , I just wish I had that option, which I guess means I need to look into other ways of making money. I ended up getting a smart jacket ( don't worry i didn't spend over 50 for it and a waistcoat for a tenner which also looks really smart, I also got a chance to pick up the book that my mates fiancee recommended to me on Day 66, Its called 'Behave' by Robert Sapolsky. The guy in the bookshop said it was an amazing book and that it would be a really good read although it is complex in places ( hence the need for a chapter called Neurobiology 101) He also gave me 20% off the book which was great , and I didn't have to ask for it I just struck up the conversation. Now my mate who I was with is an extremely confident person and he has a lot of friends, it was interesting to watch him interact with people in the various shops we visited. I have always found it a struggle to go into shops, to try things on and to engage in conversation with the shop staff. But he just walks staight in and starts chatting. Even in the top end stores where you would expect a degree of snobbery the shop staff were coming over to chat to us. It was interesting to hear what they had to say as well, such as the one guy whos jacket had been ruined by a load of water that had leaked into the shops basement overnight. (took this snap as the Manchester skyline looks gorgeous and it will give me some context whenever I review this post in the future..may start doing this more often.) We then went for lunch and had a really nice reasonably priced meal we both went for the same dish and my mate made a point of complimenting my food choice in front of the waitress. She was attractive as well, and there was a small niggling in my head telling me to ask for her number but in the end I couldn't do it. When I got home I had made a decision to start reading the book and to then go to the cinema later on , on my own. This felt like a suitable challenge that would be really low risk and would temporarily sate the inertia I have had over the past few days. So I went to the nearest cinema ( short drive away ) and went in. The guy on the tills seemed a bit confused that I was there on my own, but fuck it why not. I got some weird looks from some other people as well but do you know what, I didn't care . These poeple had no idea why I was in the cinema on my own, that it is a part of my personal journey to find and challenge myself, who cares what they think.
  27. Peregrinator

    My journey

    Thanks buddy, its good to have reassurance that I am doing the right thing, hope you are well.
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