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Starting university, I decided to trully focus on my academics. After experiencing the worst year of my life, I decided to quit doom scrolling. Didn't think of myself as an "addict", scrolling mindlessly on social media is such a normalized activity.. how could it be an addiction? I would see youtubers quitting doomscrolling and on day 1, their productivity would increase. They would study, go out more.. For me, that was NOT the case... In every attempt I made in quitting, I was irritable, experienced anhedonia and anger, as well as boredom. My relapses, also, were a bit.. intense. I would stay in the same position, for 6-8 hours, scrolling. Without eating or drinking water. On April 10th 2024, I decided to finally quit doomscrolling. I almost had a few slipbacks.. but I am managing. In the meantime, I'm focusing more on my schoolwork, and I've completed an online course! Made a list of hobbies/activities to keep myself occupied. It's not easy, but I know there is hope. My goal is to devote myself in my passion for engineering and enjoy the journey of becoming a knowledgeable and skillful engineer!

Entry 03.05 (Written on 04.05) Day 582: No Useless Videos Day 579: Sticking to Food schedule Day 183: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 174: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -8 pomodoros -order from grocery store very quickly -7.5 hrs deliveries 1 Thing I could do better -I believe I'll increase my consumption of some of the nuts I bought and compensate for the difference with my regular "Osher ad" stre visit which is planned in about a week. They also have nuts at fine prices. Food Schedule update(Starting 07.05 'till 21.05 not including the 21)- I'll start with the ingredients I have 'till the next osherad purchase. Then purchase all the things that are lacking, again, may always go for less but never more) 1 day after 4 hour ride + Workout of about 1 hr (If not completed these requirements - revert to old schedule) 1. Added 20 g Tahini 2. Added 35g almonds 3. Added 30g peas 4. Added 20g olive oil 5. Omitted chickpeas for now For Saturday-Sunday (In case I go over 7 hours) 1. Brazil 15g instead of 4-9 2. Tahini 70g instead of 50 3. Walnuts - None 4. Olive oil 100ml instead of 30ml 5. Green peas 200g instead of 100g 6. Coconut oil - 100ml 7. Two-Three carrots remain the same as usual on saturday 8. Peanut butter - None 9. Almonds remain 50g 50g separated into two meals In case under 7 hours the same as today (2-3 carrots. orange+apple+cabbage, 60g peanut butter, 45x2 walnuts, 55x2 almonds) Don't know If I can handle it, but I can always go for less... Upd 04.05 7:13 AM - I may still change this food schedule 'till I start with it (For now it seems I'll go with it even in case I do just 3 hours of deliveries and 1 hr workout. So that I stay with a calorie surplus)

Happy Star Wars day! May the 4th be with you. The men's group I'm in is doing a viewing of the first Star Wars movie. It's in the evening and far away, and I don't know if I can face that feeling on my own as I do. I'll ask if anyone's departing from the same location as me, but still. I picked up the last essentials from the grocer's. Fully stocked, I am. Grateful, I shall be. 😛 I've also been watching a social issue YouTube video. *sigh* I like the hosts and they aren't particularly addictive. I now feel more curious on the topic, but also sadder for it. To be honest, it was the least of all the evils recommended to me on the home page. I was bored, and so far the second book this time borrowed from my nan is a little less humane reading. I've felt like the last few days were actually avoidance of gaming rather than replacing them. However, I'm still pretty sure that I'd have to force fun situations while gaming, and like my ex said, it would be unlikely to improve the world as we or I know it. That's all. Gratitude: ~ the grocery store restocked their fabulous-of-late oranges ~ the energy to happily wear my weights vest and walk without music ~ a weird but positive dream where my mom trained with me at a gym ~ surviving some heavy rain whilst out walking last night Enjoy the start of the weekend; I'll possibly update later ~ Matt

hey! imo, that's you simply being hard on yourself. people who appear at 100% simply don't criticize themselves. that's literally all it takes. it doesn't mean they're doing any better performance-wise. but they definitely appear although they are. i've been in that 10-20% the whole evening today. it has sucked. but as soon as i wrote the statement above, i felt ignited to do the right thing again. have you read 'courage to be disliked'? may be of help to you ❤️

Imo, that is the myth of meritocracy, and quite plainly so. yes, we exist within the same temporality, but our privileges and abilities and experiences create differences that at times may be impassable. such a statement ignores disability, race, gender, and many other identity-based systems of separation and oppression. yes, a lot of things are technically possible for you . but that does not necessarily mean you actually can do those things. we all need to look to our strengths, and continuously work towards personal and collective liberation, cuz that's the only way towards actually becoming more 'all the same'. ❤️

I spent awhile to find an in to reply to - only that the idea of traveling for me now is mostly about its importance to who I'd be with. There's never a shortage of things at home that I forget to think about and then take pleasure in seeing properly. It's because a) Major insight has come slowly these days and, b) I can do trips 'within' anywhere; why leave? Then there might be the whole 'rock' in the relationship deal, like the patterns of grounded-ness as opposed to who's an expert on what. I would honestly prefer to be one of two rocks, but hey. I'm curious about Europe, but I'd probably just as soon as meet someone from there online, talk at length with them and then take a bunch of recommendations and not end up searching it curiously on my own. I just re-read your blog by the way; whenyoupostmoar? 😅

29 April - 3 May: The first day was the toughest, as we spent several hours in the car and I had a headache the next one from the experience. The trips have been nice otherwise, mostly the ones where we go to the nature. Some of the places are really beautiful. Though I am getting a hunch that the whole traveling thing isn't my cup of tea, or definitely not something I'd do every day off. Maybe once or twice a year. But being a self-employed teacher means that I'd just never take a holiday just to spend it at home, in my usual setting. It's a tough thing to truly prioritize and to start with personal/business projects/ideas that are always put off for "later", because I just never find the time.

All, Here is the second part of my post. My last post was just a few minutes ago. I played Dungeons and Dragons for the past 15 years. It is a game I don't think I am addicted to. It is a table top game that I used to play with a friend in person but he moved away so now I can only find people online to play with as I don't have many other friends locally. Question is what do you think of other forms of entertainment like Dungeons and Dragons? Are they also harmful or good? Is playing either in person or online harmful? How do I know whether I should avoid a hobby or entertainment? I am so confused even if I should give up gaming. Thank-you so much for your time and help.

All, I have gotten back into gaming a few years ago after a break of a couple of decades. It is a long story but I had gift points that could only be redeemed for prizes so I got my first game system with the points and started gaming again. I did take the quiz but have a couple of other questions. I will ask the second question in another topic as I think people usually address topics better with separate posts. 1) What is the feeling of addiction? I do feel I want to play a lot but I don't know if that is from addiction or just wanting to play a fun game? I am not sure if I should stop or if games are just a fun thing to do. Though to be honest with you I have a weird combination of wanting to play and also boredom with the selection of games that causes me to search for better games

same here I am also struggling with severe backbone pain issue because of my gaming addiction.

Entry 02.05 (Written on 03.05) Day 581: No Useless Videos Day 578: Sticking to Food schedule Day 182: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 173: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -2 hrs job search -5.5 hrs physical activity (Deliveries+workout) -7 pomodoros 1 Thing I could do better -Start a count of at least 8 pomodoros before 18 in the evening, the last part of day is where I'd rather do simpler tasks like a job or moving the body, they help maintaining more alert, thus doubling the productivity, If it's the other way around I mostly just doze off.. However this will have to depend on the kind of job I'll get... but for now as I do deliveries I may do that probably...

May 3 Gratitude: ~ largely undisturbed sleep ~ having the sense after a warm-up walk not to use the gym unhinged (EDIT: went in afternoon) ~ the supervisor at my grocer's spurs to put my resume in again there ~ affordable yoghurt (at the other grocer's 😅) ___________________ I read this second latest murder mystery novel in 3 days (it was roughly Harry Potter books 1 to 3-sized). Again, I must have a weakness for stuff that came out in the 2000s. The leader of the investigation was just a normal guy who avoids stress, and there weren't many prejudices in it. The drawback was sometimes I felt like demanding of thin air that the killer be revealed and the mystery be over before its finish, instead of enjoying the simple craft of it. It seems silly when my wits return, to feel down that I wasn't up for another 'cracker' of a workout this morning - having only had 1 day rest after the last one - but I thought I'd have all of the same relieved energy flooding back as I had felt my first period of abstinence. I've found myself yearning for the 'surprise button' that Alan Watts proposed that anyone in complete control of their life would eventually want for life to be fun again. Watching 50-100 players zoom around a virtual landscape, 'talking' randomly was kind of like that. I mean, I know from some reading that darker personalities absolutely need things like that in order to feel alive, but for me it's about patterns and predictability. If I had them, I wouldn't need so much else. I feel that I've 'worked' most of that through within myself already. Well, that might be enough pouring out for today. Hope to catch y'all this weekend, ~ Matt

I read once of a 'successful' mindset that we should consider ourselves as all the same (and with the same 24 hours per day). When I went to a theatre drama last weekend, I tried to imagine that I had no more unique energy than the actors and actresses, or vice versa. I scared myself for a bit then, thinking that they had to be taking drugs or something between their appearances on stage. That's probably more wrong as it remains much more of a guess than the things I've read about pornographic actresses (and actors, perhaps) going through to produce what has been out there for anyone to use at a whim. I think of the seemingly mere 10-20% of my day that I feel really unified and benevolent towards everyone I come across compared to simply feeling 'switched on' or 'of use' all of the time - but rarely my concentrated self. Which of them is right? Maybe I've just forgotten in the just 1-2 weeks I've felt under the weather how to get through the day, and after 3 weeks without gaming again. (Hey, Po, well done) 🫣

Day 4. Still going well. My addiction now causes disgust, rather than complacency. glad to be here.

May 2 It's another weak moment; getting a great workout, followed by sleep and then the routine walk in the morning, - with an appropriate jacket in some rain - and then not celebrating it on an online game where everyone feels invincible and stuff. The second book and murder mystery novel I've borrowed from my nan is great too; so great and published in the early 2000s that I've been feeling sad and longing for days before I even knew online gaming existed. Its characters were already teenagers. That's a new kind of nostalgia for me. This still doesn't dissuade me from the realisation that I'm actually safer away from online gaming grinds, but they went on for so long. And like it's been said, clicking around for rushing images and repetition to good music felt like an identifiable skill I had, part of my identity. I read a little last night about a men's social concept that still seems too raw/rough to even accept as a reality, and even during my last relapse, I had different, possibly just-as-viable ideas about what being a man/masculinity is. I imagine even here among us that there would be differing ones. Post away if inclined 👐 _______________ Gratitude: ~ a fixed-up routine meal day's start ~ walking shoes ~ the use of a free hooded jumper from Christmas that had been in my wardrobe for 4 months until now that the weather's getting cooler - having exercised in the rain yesterday wearing my first one, lol ~ falling back asleep again when jolted awake after 4 hours (though now I know even getting more than that can be a luxury) Peace, ~ Matt

Entry 1.05 (Written on 02.05) Day 580: No Useless Videos Day 578: Sticking to Food schedule Day 181: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 172: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Attending a job interview quite far from home and giving this gig a chance as mentioned in the previous post, because I want it to quickly give an answer to my employment for the short term -Almost 24 hour fast (two meals skipped -Almost 6 hours of physical activity (Workout + deliveries) despite fasting (Jeez hope I don't disappear cuz I'm already underweight and this makes my calrie deficit even bigger =/) 1 Thing I could do better -In the interview I could remember to emphasize the fact that even though I got fired I was improving all the time. (I just said that I felt that it was a corporate thing and possibly the results of the department were bad and they needed to do something to show the upper management they're doing efforts by firing me...

Hey dude, how are things going? I thought I'd bump this journal thread of yours - nicely spelt reminiscent! 😛 So I played the same game for the last 10+ years, suffice that even looking at 'the best gear' was just another 'thing'. I don't know what it's like to have the ability to master a long list of games, and quickly at that - in case that's what you've done. But one thing I've been more aware of this time, as opposed to my detox last year, is how much time I spend thinking about real world activities (helped by reading the news and fiction novels, as well as journals here). When it's time to actually do something, like the gym or a walk, - or even more computer activity job-searching - I find it's already mapped out in my head. The point is, I learnt something different from relapsing and quitting the second time, though I felt just as desperate. Anyway, for a change, it hasn't been like 'oh s***, I need to face real life again after all these blissful-torturous hours staring at extra-responsive pixels'. I was feeling dead-low yesterday, and all I had to do was vocally talk to myself for 5 minutes before packing my backpack with the basics before going out for a walk and workout that far exceeded my expectations. I'd already been fantasising hard about doing that for 2 hours in the centre of my mind, so once I was one block over and walking, I kind of knew it would happen. ____________ ^ That all sounded like one of the motivational GameQuitter emails I/we get; I still meant every word. You're a good typer; I'm hoping you update soon!

Hey, I hear you! Whoever you kid grows up to be, they will be (and already are) so thankful for your love and compassion. I'm sorry that it is so hard on you; when my mom was working night shifts, my dad and I would get those similar 4hrs of sleep at night, taking shifts cradling my sibling. They refused to fall asleep w/ anyone but her mom.

My mom told me once I was settled into school that I rarely slept regularly as an infant and always wanted attention/to play at odd hours. It must have looked cute enough to her/dad to ward off severe ills. Screaming would be the hardest part for me too. My cousins' new kids all look like their parents. Can you guys see yourselves in him? Regularly thinking that would help me if I were a dad. Sending energy and love - from a long-time misfit ❤️

Entry 30.04 (Written on 01.05) Day 579: No Useless Videos Day 577: Sticking to Food schedule Day 180: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 171: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Called a potential job place in the morning as written in the morning goals, even though I had to stop the momentum of the job for it for a couple of minutes, and even though I was a bit scared to tell I'm being fired. -At least 5 pomodoros again... This is more than 0 -Answering a phonecall from potential job place and deciding to go for a meeting despite the first few weeks being (potentially if I'm hired) at least a 45-minute commute away from my home I've got to act quickly since I want to have a job for a few months, and I do not want to let the job search take too much time. 1 Thing I could do better -Maybe reducing olive oil is not the best course of action since I'm underweight but rather switch up my routine to waking up at 4 40 or so am, o that I do 5 pomodoros early in the morning, then even if I eat olive oil a few hours before bed the tasks I'll do, like the workout will be interactive and I'll have less of an urge to doze off...

May 1 It's amazing how while a lot of feelings and situations also journaled about here are new and would be very challenging to me, some others make me feel like we were both right there experiencing the same thing. I tried to read over some of my first entries here this morning, and actually found them painfully awkward. Maybe that's just today, as it's going to be my first workout (not including my walks) after 3 days off. There have been a few weird dreams now in the past week, but last night's was part-memory; I went to the fridge for cold, leftover pizza like it was ten years ago while dimly aware that my world was crashing all around me. It didn't even register what time of day or night that was. The others are for therapy. No real gaming urges, but I played some heavy music that I thought would have sounded cool alongside in-game footage. I once removed almost all of that music from my devices hoping to be rid of those ideas, but it didn't ultimately work. As usual, I've just been trying to shuffle-skip through my library to songs that match the moment. ______________ Gratitude: ~ leftover meals from my Dad and Nan ~ visiting for lunch with Nan and borrowing 2 more books to read from her library ~ being easily understood and having a somewhat easier time relating ~ warm material bedsheets Peace, ~ Matt

That sounds incredibly difficult! It's ok to vent - it's a stressful situation, even though it's nobody's doing. Do you feel you have a good level of support from family and/or friends?

There's loads of different advice online about journaling, but I agree: the best thing is just to start, and not worry too much initially about what form it will take. It's something to experiment with, not try to get right the first time. You could even alternate between a paper-based one and a digital one, to see what feel right. Although I have a lengthy template, my most basic journal entry is just a one-line summary of what I did that day. I only do that if I'm particularly lazy, but it's still useful for later reflecting on what I've done in the last week or month. Other things on my template (that I don't use daily): dream diary, goal tracker (three goals, no more) and gratitude section. I also automatically have an "On This Day" section linking to journal entries from this day each year (I use Obsidian for journalling, but I assume other software can do this). Some days I might write a thousand words on something that is stressing me out, or I might write up the pros and cons of a big decision, but my average journal entry is just a few sentences about my day, how I felt, and what I hope for tomorrow. Apologies if I interpreted your words too literally!

I'm absolutely struggling. My baby can't sleep in the crib yet, so one of us has to hold him at all times during the night. He'll spit up and scream when he's in there. We're working with the doctor on it. I'm just going to discuss its effects on me though. I get 4 hours of sleep a day now tops. My wife and I each lose half the day covering each other while we either sleep or do house stuff. I see so many parents online talking about how they can put their kids in a bouncer or something or they sleep in a crib. My wife and I are getting very irritable and there is animosity brewing. We're arguing more than ever before because of it. But we're not fighting if that makes sense. It's more just trying to communicate properly. I've never felt the urge to relapse more than I have now. I'm so desperate to play mobile games while I hold my baby for the 4 hour shift. I'm watching tv Instead. Idk if that's any different. Probably not. He fucking screams bloody murder if you put him down and he's not on you. It's unreal. I love bonding with him but I can't do any of my hobbies, health upkeep, house upkeep, rest, communicate with people, go shopping, etc. I'm glad he's not in the hospital anymore. Things have gotten a lot better. It's just difficult because he doesn't sleep on his own or even lay down for 10 minutes yet. I miss writing my book. I haven't written in 4 months. The newborn period for a baby is unbelievably difficult. Please keep in mind I love my wife and son more than anything in the world and love this time with them too. I'm not complaining about that. It's just the fact that the journey has been so difficult every step of the way. I'm just beat down.

Hello Game Quitters Members. I'm doing good so far in general. I decided to continue to write my second book which it's way better written compare to my first book in general which it's fine because my first book I was not knowing how to properly how to write a book in general. Now for exercise today. Unfortunately I have to hold off by the time I write this update in general. Because from what I understand with this blood pressure reading is that if I exercise before going to the doctor's office there is going to be a misread on their blood pressure machine in general, I heard that from this channel name KenDBerryMD on YouTube about blood pressure misreading in general. All I can say I'm glad I am truly taking care of myself in general by exercising 7x per week with strength training and cardio training with elliptical machine in general, I already found what works for me with physical fitness and just tracking calories (which the local medical professionals have a hard time telling me that or educate themselves properly instead of relying on medical related research sources) and yeah I also asked lifestyle questions and the answer were not good were also rushed too so never again. All well. Again, as long I'm exercising with strength and cardio...then I'm fine since 2019. Overall with that nonsense, I feel great about myself physically and lifestyle wise without playing video games all day being sedentary while not taking care of myself in general both hygiene wise and of course physically in general before 2019 in general. Now I learned to not repeat my mistakes from my younger years and I still get negative response and get looked on on from people who don't exercise consistently and obviously don't know how to find something else talk about instead of gossiping about my weight, thankfully I already know I don't care what people subjectively think is usually subjective and not objective as facts or not related to something they know that it's better to ask me on. So yeah dang if I do something productive in the present day, dang if I don't do the stuff I didn't do compare to what I'm doing in present day. People including these professionals will usually find something negative about someone in my point of view. The best thing to do is just simply ignore and do what I need to do in general. I don't care what people think. Alright. I'm going to continue my day. Bye Game Quitters Members.