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Hey everyone, my name is Steve and a few years ago I was a part of the Game Quitters community. At that time I was trying to quit playing video games, but with  minimal success.  It's been a few years now and over that time I've  allowed gaming to get the better of me and I'm looking to take back control. Over the last few months, my time playing video games has increased mostly because of  being unemployed at the moment. With so much free time, apart from spending time with my wife, my family and doing other important daily activities, I would spend at least 5 or 6 hours gaming, usually 2 to 3 hours during the day and another 2 to 3 hours at night. At times this also could vary and may even be more than 6 hours, depending on the day and what type of mood I was in. Over the last few days I've been thinking about what avenue I'm going to take and have wondered if I may be able to keep gaming in the proper place and only play in moderation. I will give it some time and then reevaluate the situation to determine if it's possible for me to play in moderation. If I realize that it's not possible for me to game in moderation, I may need to consider quitting video games completely.  

Entry 14.7 Weeks until average life expectancy: 2770 (80th birthday) Day 180: No Useless Videos Day 1012: Sticking to Food schedule Day 615: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 163: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  - Afternoon workout - 3 pomodoros - Viewing 2-3 videos of "aprobado a la primera" 1 Thing I could do better - Plan somehow not to eat so much food right before the lesson Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 181

Entry 13.7 written on 14.7 Weeks until average life expectancy: 2770 (80th birthday) Day 179: No Useless Videos Day 1011: Sticking to Food schedule Day 614: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 162: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  - Long jog - 4 pomodoros - Done sending the tax report documents 1 Thing I could do better - Same as yesterday Print my foodplanning of the p[lanning in the morning as template aswell as food names Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 180

late Monday morning, day 6: Almost a week since the latest revelation - when I blurted out over the phone, 'I was just playing my computer game', without caring who had asked what or how I was doing. Still, what would I say now? 'Catching up on people's ideas of popular history?' (through a novel). The thing I spent the most time doing on my past game was clicking on creatures for 'combat' - where half of any two-digit number might appear on the screen in red or blue. Some part of me has likened that to face to face conversation in person, where someone mightn't know what effect the next statement or question might have on the other(s), and vice versa.  That wasn't one of the problems I had whilst gaming; it was my passing by of people in public, unable to hold a smile or show of courtesy for long enough, or going to places (even the gym) while half or more of my head was still at home, locked in. As long as I couldn't tell myself that I was more/completely 'for' the offline world, and not the virtual, I was anxious. So that's what that has been. As it happens, the day looks perfect today, but I was a little disappointed because on Sunday, while peaceful, I didn't really talk to anyone, except for getting a short text reply that had me thinking that a scheduled call was forgotten. I went to bed early and slept a ton, in two blocks again. The 'hangover' remained. If I don't get worked up enough for gym, I'll walk around properly soon. I've read from page 100 to 500 out of 900 in the last week of the new book that I at first found shallow. There were enough new phrases and scenes that kept me turning them over. Maybe this week I'll have finished it and picked up something to continue on from it with. __________ Edit: There were a few mild disturbances today, though. In the morning (though I can't expect everyone to be as considerate and reserved as me in person), I was twice near-laughingly called to my open window by a tradesman to ask if I minded the water being shut off for a moment/could I refrain from using the taps. I was reading and cooking at both 8:30 and 10am, which I imagined looked lazy and indulgent.  I got out for my walk, during which most of the time I spent dismissing lapses in judgement/inconsiderateness, but still felt alright. Only once home, I indulged again in a second cocoa, and soon after heard what sounded like some of the regular stamping around on the floor above me - combined with the yapping and/or yelping of a small dog. Unfortunately, I was contemplating abusive behaviour for whatever reason, and was almost ready to investigate it, until the noises stopped. By then, I was up for more decaf tea, and couldn't see any way of out the slump except to read about my historic game's new 'skill', which I'm as unlikely to try as half of the new 'bosses' the producers have put out in the last few years.  On the game's download page, there is some kind of staged scene of PvP fights, which I once again told thin air to 'F.O.' with, and engaged with step 1 of the process. - But wait - Why should I download something that's going to make my life 3 or 4x harder, and take up many more mornings, afternoons and evenings? That was enough to abandon the first file and the remaining process, and make another small meal. I was grasping for any minor rewarding feeling after 1.5 days of next-to-nothing. I think I'm avoiding getting my whole person dragged into anything serious, without the promise of calming down every day at about 6pm. It's a disability thing/precaution. Do I want to feel 'just OK', without further recognisable achievement, for 30, 40 or even 50 more years? That was what was on my mind the most. It doesn't seem unreasonable, but passing that time as such is as daunting as any other period/process of attainment. ____________ Good luck, all ~ Matt Gratitude: ~ Weather, unavoidably ~ Allowing for only a semi-cold shower ~ Even as my subscriptions to the game should run out this week, I realise my free-to-play plans would most likely get me in just as much trouble too *shrug* 

Sunday morning, day 5: Is it really right to expect problems if I made an easy, natural or even neutral choice of reading material (Harry Potter) at the very end of the evening, that kept me calmer still? I had long, largely untroubled sleep and dreaming, got started moving about the room, but as I made breakfast, out of nowhere I simply remembered - like someone I knew - a confronting past situation (or several) that I didn't feel like squaring up for at the time, and let myself think of angry actions and vocalisations. Such is a disorder, remembering such things perhaps, but I could possibly link the timing of situations like that to significant achievements in gaming. Should we as problem-solving people always start at the root, at prevention of such things? As a teenager initially, I didn't trust the world enough to risk spending exploratory nights out or truanting from school - so I did homework and sat at my computer during many free hours. Blame seems to complement enduring anger, which is why I shouldn't choose it often. Did I not make good friends? Did people and I have too many stubborn differences? As a last comparison, while signing into that game whenever I had spare energy (not only time), some part of me at least felt that I was 'doing all I could' to progress - though it mostly led to empty feelings eventually. Such an attitude with none of that gameplay at all leaves almost too much time for me to spend chasing the same 'amount' of progress, offline. I avoid real trouble socially because my control over a situation seems to be perceived as contemptuous - as if people think that I'd rather lose control all of the time. 'Everyone' (this is a large majority) that I interact with, I have faith in their ability to grow and/or progress. Did people in my life give up on me too early? All I'd have to do in that case would be adjust my expectations and remember that in this abstinence journey, I am giving others time as much as I am giving myself, outside of cordial conversation. Maybe a difference is that I don't expect easy fixes from here, myself.  Edit (Afternoon): In 'Life at the Bottom', the author uses his experiences as a way to indirectly imply that a softer, finer or perhaps more wholesomely-dedicated way of living is almost always preferable to the opposite. I may have finished deciding to type that because it's over a cup of tea - seriously though, only because the tea is warm, un-caffeinated, and it's technically Winter. I didn't have to resort to a seriously-consuming addiction to enjoy it, either. Anyway, would any of you say that having a majority of people with the favourite passion of say, staring up admiringly at the sky, and a minority of (dedicated) aggressive, warrior-types, would not be preferable to the reverse? Sure, maybe that's the case (or preference) that we have already, but I'm only convincing myself a little more here out of a need to put constant, aggressive reactions further behind me. That, and the internet is not always a psychologically calm place - even I have shown as much. I wish that the compulsion to stick to games was never as strong and aggressive, even when it's perhaps supposed to be mind over matter when playing at them. As a long term newbie-intermediate, I was still overly attached to it and its outcomes. Only, bearing witness as I did to several aggressive kids' behaviours in school, those which outstripped most of my own, seems to have been necessary to initially kick me into gear to later exercise my body as well - that said, I only lifted consistently-aggressively for 2-3 of my first years in the gym, from 2010 on. I had to get over that, just as I got over a couple of exes' attractions to that side of me. All factors of health are important, even when I personally started with some of the most basic. I should keep some idea of that in mind for balance, rather than an equally-advanced RPG character-level profile on a screen, and consequently keeping a guard so high that a seven-foot humanoid would still have to reach for it. The only downside to maintaining such a balance seems to be sleeping long hours again, for now. Gratitude: ~ Good weather ~ Some socialising at the gym, leading to a peaceful moment ~ Checked the chapter structure of the new book to see that it does speed up - I'd almost rather it was 150% longer, and didn't, but so it goes ~ Realising that cleaning before breakfast is slightly torturous - especially when it's made already Enjoy the weekend, all ~ Matt