Forums

Hey everyone. I ended up relapsing a couple times since last writing in this public journal. A grand experiment to see if I could game moderately, which (surprise!) didn't really pan out. As I type this, I only have one sleep between the last time I gamed and now, despite the session lasting less than half an hour. Being shoved into a steep depression after being heavily medicated for a manic episode. A lack of diligence in maintaining my spiritual condition. A longing for community and a sense of purpose, progression in life. A lack of serious consideration to the long-term repercussions to gaming. Recognizing all these things, I believe I have a rough idea of the circumstances that lead up to my relapsing. This past week, gaming's lost a lot of its appeal and lustre. It feels like some of the ground work I've been working on with an addictions counselor has started to yield results. I've been following her suggestions to expand the daily activities in my life. Connecting with friends, going to AA meetings, and getting more physically active. When I was working with Cam, he had me do much of the same thing, as well as trying out new things to broaden my interests, get out of my shell. When I take the time to connect with God, He's still there. I have been finding more time to do so as a result of gaming less, and making it a priority in my life. His presence provides great solace and comfort. I am glad that my relapse did not sever my awareness of my connection with Him. It's a subtle thing these days. A quiet assurance in my heart. I have a Japan trip planned for October with some friends. I am looking forward to eating lots of delicious food and making memories with the gang. And maybe buying a new knife 😄. I have been revisiting some Pimsleur lessons to learn Japanese; I hope to have at least basic phrases for getting around when we get there. I'm not sure how frequent I will be with these journal entries. I'd like to get it going again, and perhaps keep to it a little longer this time. I think part of why I relapsed was lack of community around recovery from gaming specifically. Hopefully as time goes on I won't lose sight of that. Glad to see some familiar users are still active on the forums. Later days!

as stated writing a new plan for tomorrow. All the foods I have in my bag are allowed any furter updates are to be given after i go to the shop tomorrow or SaturdayI may also buy additional fruit or vegetables from my original schedule to eat wit te remaining fats if i go tomorrow on top of the ones already eaten because i didnt take any with me. this may also be adjusted during the day itself because if there are things from my original schedule that lack in the store i may need to replace them as i go with something with similar nutritional value note- generally i'd like to eat as much o the food as i may before the fligt to not go around with additional food outside of my bags and attract possible attention to my large quantity of bags  😉

“Sports give life and psychological comfort. We were closer to the dead even though we were alive. But when i returned to practice my gym training, I felt closer to the living than the dead, and the nightmares retreated a little” I read an account of one man stranded in a dangerous warzone, but he is not surrendering. I will control my social media use today.

Entry 20.8 Weeks until average life expectancy: 2764 (80th birthday)  Day 217: No Useless Videos Day 1049: Sticking to Food schedule Day 652: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 30: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  - 1 pomodoro at the very least - Started packing suitcase - Afternoon workout 1 Thing I could do better - Having finished planning the week faster Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 218

Entry 19.8 (Written on 20.8) Weeks until average life expectancy: 2764 (80th birthday)  Day 216: No Useless Videos Day 1048: Sticking to Food schedule Day 651: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 29: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  - Finished counting my income for the yearly tax report of 2024 - At least 2 pomodoros once again =/ - Morning jog 1 Thing I could do better - I've planned in te middle of the day twice again. just as the day before, it killed a lot of time, probably should make more effort to pre-plan reasonable time-windows and stick to them without touching the schedule for edits afterwards Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 218