Phoenix

I Recently listened to an interesting TED talk about true happiness. There was a large study done for over 70 years about people and what made them happy. More than 80% of millenials had a goal to be rich and of that group more than 50% had a goal to be famous. According to the study, the thing that makes people happy isn't wealth or to be famous. "Good relationships keep us happier and healthy, period." The three lessons learned from the study are these: 1. People more socially connected are happier, physically stronger and live longer than less socially connected people. Isolation is actually toxic, those people are more likely to die earlier. 2. It doesn´t matter how many friends you have, it´s the quality of the relationship. 3. Good relationships also protect your brain at older age. For the full video (12m) here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI There's another interesting article I've read. A real wakeup call for some people. I highly recommend this if you're in a tough spot: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/ As for me: during my days I notice I do sports way more than when I was gaming. I also developed a habit to eat yoghurt instead of drinking milk. Have been taking cold showers for the past 4 days. My goal is to break my record at the upcoming race this saturday, while also staying away from candy/popcorn/bad food for this week. 1,5 weeks is an awesome job! But can you do this for 1000 days? 1000 days wow Let's just say I will go as far as possible without games and focus on the quality of each gameless day rather than focussing on the absense of games itself. Setting a small goal each time like 3 days. 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month etc. is more realistic for me at the moment. A thousand days is impressive though, but we'll see!

Have relapsed some time ago but I have been off games for 1,5 weeks so far I think. It's really not that hard, as long as I occupy myself. I work as much as possible to keep me from being bored which could lead to gaming. Keeping occupied is key while quitting games. Haven't fully deleted my games/accounts yet but things are looking good right now. I'm 100% on routine right now: work, come home and eat, go run for 1-1.5 hours, then come back and watch my serie > go to bed > repeat. I'm a bit worried I don't get to meet many people but school will start soon so I will get to see my classmates again. I really need to be proactive in engaging new people. Thanks for the advice! I have read The Flinch a week ago when I had some free time in one sitting. While I found some points somewhat vague, the leitmotiv is that doing things that take effort and generally uncomfortable are the activities that will get you further in life. Cold showers feel great afterwards, but pushing through to do so is hard. Some days I take warm showers, other days cold. Ratio is about 80/20% of days during january.

Recap of the past few days: Saturday Worked in the morning till 12am. Can't remember much of the afternoon, didn't spend the time very effectively as I remember. Still better than gaming. In the evening I went to friends for a new years party. Had a good time and socialized for hours. Went home at a decent time. Sunday Started the day off meditating. My plan was to go for a run, but I completely forgot I had to go to family meeting in the next hour, so I rushed my morning routine and went away. Again socialized for hours, it was good to see my relatives again! I spent the evening watching darts, one of the best matches of all time. Monday Had work till the evening. Working and gaining experience > sitting at home doing nothing After work I went for a run to come back home, took a cold shower and watched the darts finals. I should've went to bed earlier but this was one time only. Tuesday Again work till the evening. It's all routine from this point. Asked if I could work a day more for now, because imo free time is best spent on work. Will have to balance time though for upcoming tests. The next few days after work will be a test as well for my discipline at studying. After work I went running on track with mates, gonna have a drink with them soon, can't wait! Had a cold shower after all this. I feel like cold showers are ten times harder in winter than summer, it's so much different. In summer it's more like cooling down but in winter you are more likely to take a hot shower because it is cold but instead you take a cold one. It felt horrible but after that I feel like a beast. Edited my profile picture to a pug! Love those animals

I have to agree, becoming more socialable is often overlooked but it is so important. Just like SuperSayanGod and you I have spent new years eves alone and gamed the night away. It is often times like these it makes you feel lonely, while everyone is having a party. So I vowed myself to never be alone on new years eve and made my resolution in 2016 to becoming more sociable. I found a social circle in early 2016 that does something almost every two weeks. I attended most of them and got invited to a new years eve party. Even though my conversation skills were a bit stiff at times, it is fine because it's better than staying at home. Socializing is like a muscle, you have to practice it regularly at times. It's not just for fun only, but you also learn soft skills for whatever career you are pursuing. Which brings me to question, what steps did you take in order to become more sociable? I'm interested in how others deal with this. Piotr's tip is of great value, don't combat loneliness with watching porn.

Hi Stevec, Welcome to the community. I'm in the same boat as you, having quit for a while to start again weeks later. There are many resources on here to help you refrain from gaming. I'm interested to see how you will pick this up. Good luck.

Hi Alex, nice picture! I love the structure you are using in your posts, it reminds you what want to do better next time and learn from it. Its structure helped remind me what I wrong the previous time and analyze it. Don't worry about not reaching level 12,5, as a runner myself I understand how difficult it is to not get your desired outcome. We all have our good and bad days, but if you keep running consistently you will see progress. Good luck!

Journal #4 - Day 1 I have relapsed for a while. Let's try this again. Today was a productive day! I started off early by going to an appointment which was finished in 30 minutes. All went smooth and I got to experience the cold weather in the morning to feel energized. After this I went stuyding in advance for a test in two weeks. I should have studied more than I planned but due to procastinating I studied for about 30 minutes worth of time. Around 2 pm I went shopping, it took me approx. 2,5 hours and 8 shops to get 2 pieces of clothes. It was worth it though, anything better than gaming. After shopping I went running for ~40 minutes, I was quite hungry so it was tough. After dinner I relaxed - no games played -. Did play some guitar throughout the day. Later in the evening I bought some chips, I'm not very proud of that but whatever. Gratitude journal Free time Clean clothes Awesome social group One amazing thing that happened/I did today Not playing games Workout/run Done Meditation No Study 1 hour Approx 30m Reading + taking notes No Getting to bed before 11pm Yes Eat enough fruit? Enough mandarins What went well today: Filling my time with useful activities What I could have done to make my day better: Should've shut down pc whilst studying & not buying bad food. What I will do differently tomorrow: I noticed studying with pc on is bad was in my previous note as well, I should stay away from the computer next time.

Hello, Recently I have quit gaming (again) and in order to help me with that I need to make a planner. In the past I have made a 24/7 planner for 2 weeks which was very time consuming, but it was very detailled. A downside to this though is that it doesn't include downtime or a change of plans, like small talk after working out. Can you imagine "oh, according to my planner I need to do my homework right now, goodbye!" in the middle of a conversation? Or traffic delay. You get the idea. I want to create a planner which is easily made, preferably on a smartphone app with notices for important obligations. But I don't want making a schedule consume too much time either. I was wondering how those that do make a planner are making it. Are you planning in blocks of 30m, do you cover 24h or only a portion of the day? Are you using it as a guideline or strictly following your planner? Please share your ideas, I will be happy to implement others insight into making a planner!

According to Casey Neistat, storytelling is everything. You may want to watch this: https://youtu.be/nLSUrTxquyE?t=6m3s

Thanks man! The reason I see it different is because I let go of trying to be perfect. People fear relapsing because they are afraid to fail. I see failing merely a way to do things differently next time. For example, I may fail a test. That is an indication I haven't learned enough: I need to learn more next time. Place the same logic in relapsing: I didn't read Respawn enough and used it techniques to avoid boredom. Although failing is not the end of the world, I prefer to prevent it either way. Journal #3 Started off with a meditating session, installed Headspace: completed session 5. Have read Respawn completely today. Studied a bit in the bus. After school I inmediately went to study, although I did procastinate a bit. Later in the evening I went running, it was raining very hard in the midst of my training. Fun thing: notice when it's raining on track or a sport field how many people are hasting their way inside a building and those that continue working out. You can easily seperate the strong and weak willed ones. After working out I was completely wet. I thought 'I am wet and cold anyway, let's take a cold shower', so I did that. Took some fruit and here I am writing my journal. Gratitude journal Accessible sport area near home Fresh fruit Big working desk One amazing thing that happened/I did today Run through heavy rain Workout/run Done Meditation Yes Study 1 hour 30-45m I think Reading + taking notes Read Respawn and study book Getting to bed before 11pm Will try Eat enough fruit? Banana and mandarins What went well today: Work, workout What I could have done to make my day better: Should've shut down pc whilst studying What I will do differently tomorrow: Avoid rushing towards bus: implement deadline of 5 minutes when I absolutely need to go.

Guitar playing is absolutely a good choice indeed. It fills everything needed. Yesterday I played a game (read: not computer game): my sister had to guess a song I would play on the guitar. I played the intro of Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication, she guessed it right! That was so much fun, can't wait to try out another song

Hey Alex, thanks for the support! I've 'borrowed' your layout if you don't mind Thanks Cam! I read >70% Respawn chapters today. I feel like it should be read multiple times to understand and refresh why and how to quit games, cravings are always lurking in the dark. There were techniques I didn't implement when I quit the first time which I will use now. Tomorrow I will finish the last few chapters. I do have a tip for you for Respawn by the way: if you have lots of free time left, you can always go to work. Spending time doesn't always have to be a hobby. It's always useful to earn more money to 'kill' time. Journal #2 Yes, I have relapsed. But so what? Failure is a part of succes. The important part is that we learn from our mistakes. Educate yourself in order to succeed next time. This is a lesson I have learned through hardship. Whether it's quittings games or passing tests, it's all the same. Today I read Respawn during traffic hours to educate myself on quitting games. It gave me more insight in the thought process behind gaming, very useful. After work I had dinner and then I worked out, only to have my free time at 9 pm. For that reason, there is not much to add other than that I had a good day of work and again one more day of not gaming. I will make myself a schedule on the tasks I need to complete and a planning. There is so much to do it's unbelievable, but I got to start somewhere. I work 2 jobs, am in college and run fairly competetively. I don't have time for games, I need to cut this off. Gratitude journal Nice colleagues Living in a stable country Pea soup One amazing thing that happened/I did today Read Respawn Workout/run Done Meditation - Daily affirmation working out > about to do Reading + taking notes - Getting to bed before 11pm Yes Weekly Goal(s) Study for tests, working out Monthly Goal Work out 5 times a week 3 Month Goal No gaming What went well today: Work, workout What I could have done to make my day better: Should have brought a book for in the bus What I will do differently tomorrow: Ban certain websites, delete more (old) games

Thanks! I read your journals earlier this day and it inspired me to try quit gaming again. Will follow you as well!

Day #1 I decided to quit gaming again. Am deleting my games as we speak. I don't know where this will bring me, but here's to another shot. I will focus on playing the guitar as my relaxation needs and study to become better at work. Gratitude journal Great parents No big problems Gamequitters community One amazing thing that happened/I did today Quitting gaming attempt #4 Workout/run About to do Meditation - Visualisation I picture myself as a professional with knowledge in the future, create formiddable speaking skills, become better at sports and have a great social life. There is work to do, so let's do this! Daily affirmation working out > about to do Reading + taking notes - Getting to bed before 9pm Have to get up at 5am in the morning, having always slept at 23:00 I will try around 9pm Weekly Goal(s) Study for tests Monthly Goal Study 3 Month Goal Keep quitting gaming What went well today: Work, quitting gaming What I could have done to make my day better: Not buy junkfood What I will do differently tomorrow: Less procastinating

Hi WorkInProgress, thank you for your advice. I agree relaxing is important. But when I come home after a long day of work, the way I see relaxing is gaming. Like Cam described in his work, the relaxation needs are replaced by gaming. It is time however, to give it another shot and quit gaming for good. Here we go

Months and months have passed, and I find myself gaming. It's sad really, I don't know what the hell happened . I slipped up and gave in to boredom. Somehow I always return to gaming as an escape. This is the third time I have quit gaming and failed. Although I have been gaming for months, I do however run 4 times a week on average, participate social events every 2 week, work 2 jobs and am studying. I promised myself gaming should never have priority over real life activities, the problem is that it does interfere. So I watched some guitar video's earlier and thought: if I would spend my time playing guitar instead of gaming, how much better would I have become if I weren't gaming? And not just playing guitar, but in other area's as well. That made me thinking and post here. At some point I need to quit gaming, that is for sure. I just can't find the willpower to quit for good right now. Ugh.. I need to make my mind up.

Hi Alex! Keeping yourself occupied with work or other activities is a great way to deal with gaming. I find myself having less interest in gaming after a day of work, because I replaced it by other activities like playing guitar or reading. Avoid boredom at all costs and you will find it easier to refrain from gaming.

Good to hear you are playing guitar again Tom! If you are back in a band, let us know, I'll look you up!

Recap 2+ weeks: I saw an old friend and asked him to hang out some time, so we played some pool at the local bar and talked about everything. It was great meeting up again, we agreed to eachother to weekly go out. This is great as I got myself a new going out group. The same day in the afternoon I was so bored I went out for a bit of cycling for the sake of it. The wind was so hard I had to step off. The moment I stepped off another guy also stepped off and walked, we talked a bit about the tough weather. I noticed he came from the gymn and we talked a bit about sports. Cool guy, sportive, we added eachother on facebook. Later that day I asked him if he would be interested in working out with a group friends of mine, he agreed to do so. So because I randomly went for a bit of cycling, I met new people. The next week I got sick, couldn't work or sport so I stayed home for most of the days. I got a bit better on saturday and started working again. In the evening I met up with the same social circle from 2 weeks ago and watched a movie. After that we socialized and played a game (twister) it was alot of fun. I met a ton of new people and built more relationships. I will definitely come back again the next time. I notice I play more guitar than when I was gaming, quite obvious. I don't always keep my daily practice, but that's okay, I'm close to 100 days of guitar practice. Sometimes I have urges to go back to gaming, my friends try to persuade me to do so, but I occupy my mind with other things to keep me busy. I noticed I am game free for one month so far. Time flies!

I think it's the moment when you are so busy with other activities/hobbies you completely forget about gaming. Understanding how addictive games work also helps the fact to stay away from them. When someone has removed everything related from gaming, such as games, gaming events, gaming friends and replaced it for other things, then that person has succesfully quitted gaming. If he hasn't, then a relapse lies around the corner.

Week recap: No games played so far! I won't mention monday through thursday as it consisted mostly of work. I made progress with my social life by actively going to different social events. I organized a day to play snooker at a bar with my friends, it was a fun night. That same day I went to a bar alone, it wasn't what I expected but I got out of my comfort zone so that's important. Next day I went to a local christian youth club. I usually don´t surround myself in those social groups but I went anyway and found the majority to be very welcoming to me. The evening I met up with an old colleague of mine there and met new people. They invited me to come back two weeks later to watch a movie, excited for that! It could have ended differently if I thought to myself "man this is gonna suck, I'm not going". I remember a quote along the line of "If you don't want to do it, do it anyway". It's crazy how a last minute decision can change the day. Today I participated in a local 5k relay race, we finished first! We made photo´s to memorize the event. The rest of the day I spent playing guitar, browsing a bit and going to the local church. It was kinda boring, but I was away from the computer anyway. I kinda messed up leaving right after the service because there was time to meet new people and that was what the evening was all about. I should´ve stayed but I was hungry and went home. Oh well, I learned from it. Overall it was a successful week. Most important in quitting gaming I found was getting out of the house, even if it´s for something really boring, it´s better than waste time inside the house. Definitely gonna plan more upcoming events and try out new things! Gratitude journal My dad, who´s always there for me. Took pictures of our relay race and he helped me tune my guitar.

Day 5 Started off working in the morning till 12 am. Then, I spent some time watching youtube video's on guitar playing. Some later in the afternoon my sister teached me for an hour some guitar tricks and I started practicing it. I spent a total of 2 hours practicing guitar, it was really good. I am a bit dissatified with my social life, but I realised I need to plan AHEAD in order to get somewhere. When I was gaming my lack of social interaction was toned down due to it, but without gaming my mind becomes more clear and allows me to understand the current situation I'm in. Saturdays are generally the hardest for me so I try to plan something every week on that day. I really want to get out there and practice my social skills because it's necessary. I am grateful for having a nice sister that is good with guitar.

Day 4 detox Today was a great day! Day started off with a bit of haste, waking up later than usual to rush for school. There, we had to do a debate about three different subjects and we were placed in a group that had to either defend or disarm the statement. Out of all debates, I was placed in the group that wasn't my own opinion. So it was quite hard to come up with arguments. I learned to take things into perspection. Next, I inspected my mistakes made with tests I made. I appreciate the time teacher made to make me understand what I did wrong. Even though I failed some tests, I know I can pass them. After that, I went home and played a bit of guitar. Then, I went for an easy 8k run and went straight to dinner. At this moment, I'm doing my homework and other business. I'm a little bit bored that I don't game but whatever, I'm going to sleep earlier than usual because I have work to do. My gaming friends distract me but I won't give in. Gratitude journal: I recently read articles about US college debt. It's INSANE how the US fucks over its own students with huge debts. How the hell are they going to pay a 60k debt, with not even job guarantee? Here in the Netherlands, we have much of a better system. As a college student, we get free public transport and get money from the state to pay the college fees. Now recently the state no longer gives money, but I'm still regarded in the old system so I essentialy pay ~ 180 euro's per month, which is basically nothing (relatively). I'm grateful for living in a country where studying is possible without having huge debts AND receive personal feedback from teachers on my perfomance.

I've seen one of his lectures not too long ago on youtube, it's really amazing what he has accomplished and how he inspires others to do the same!

I hope your children are all right Tom, best of luck!