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Posted (edited)

Hi everyone, 28 year old gamer here. started first playing games around 6 or 7, I'd say by juniour high i was around 3 hours a day. That ballooned to 5+ by graduation from high school and continued to the present day. My life has essentially revolved around pot and gaming for a very long time. I've used it as an escape from anxiety, depression, work, social pressures, teasing/bullying, almost always thinking It's just going to be for another day or two. Also pretty common for me to spend over 10 hours in front of the computer on days like Sunday where I have the whole day off.

It's cost me sleep, relationships, and happiness. Definitely has held back my potential in many ways. I'm in university and have always been an A student but outside of class I'm almost always gaming. It has filled the void which was meant for writing, music, studies and love, all things I hardly pursue outside of when I am forced to these days. I've largely kept it a secret from my family. My father's reaction to everything was to yell which did absolutely nothing. My Mom would break down in tears if she knew how much of my life I've wasted and how I never asked her for help.

I fell in love with gaming because of the stories. My favourite games were always ones which did new and interesting things with the medium and had engrossing characters. But if my life doesn't change soon I am facing a lifetime of health problems, loneliness and dissatisfaction. 

I don't know if I'm quitting tonight, but I had another addiction which I kicked when I had to and the online community was invaluable. I hope to do the same with this one.

 

 

Edited by Circle
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Posted

If you search for answers, you will find them.

Welcome, Circle!

 

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Posted

Welcome to the community. Focus on 90 days and re-evaluate after. That works really well to gain more clarity.

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Hi Circle, 

Like you I had similar issues with anxiety and often went to gaming to 'zone out' and relax. One thing I will say is you can never look back and think of the hours wasted, because they are gone now, you are 10 years younger than me and can you imagine what you can achieve by the time you are my age? You can literally be whatever you want. 

Start slow, make small changes, try to make them consistent and positive. Measure your progress. You have beaten an issue before which means you are mentally strong, so look back on that as your source of motivation. I'm on day 17 now, never thought I'd do a day at one point! 

Ask questions, everyone here will have answers, ideas that you can consider and you can choose ones that work for you. 

Since quitting, I've started a rugby website where I go and interview coaches, started learning French on DuoLingo, grabbed myself a couple of paid coaching jobs, got the guitar out again with an aim to perform in pubs and spent quality time with my family. 

That's just 17 days! In 10 years you could be literally whatever you want to be. :-)

 

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Posted (edited)

Thanks everyone! I am definitely focusing on 90 days right now. It's a nice way to trick the addicted part of the brain when you can tell it you can maybe get a little taste again in "just" 90 days ;).

I definitely won't be agonizing over the lost days and years Keri. There's no point in it, unless I just want to waste more of my life focusing on things I can't control and should leave behind. My attitude towards it is that there's nothing to be ashamed of; I had a major problem and unfortunately no one around me realized it, or knew how to help, so I was on my own. And quitting an addiction on one's own takes a lot of time and clarity, which is awfully hard to come by, when you're an addict.

I'll definitely be starting a journal and asking any questions I may have, I hope I can also answer any questions anyone else may have! :)

Edited by Circle
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Posted

Oh, and that's fantastic Keri! Congratulations on your progress!

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