Welcome to this self accountability forum. But let me ask you this, in this 53 day stretch of not playing video games what were you focused on and thinking about, were you fired up about a goal of some sort? Like winning a sports tournament etc?

Entry 4.6 ( Written on 54.6) Day 614: No Useless Videos Day 611: Sticking to Food schedule Day 215: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 206: Being in bed before 23:15 Day 1: 6 pomodoros ( Will be updated to count of 7 but for the next few days 6 is fine 3 Things I did well no matter how small -1 hour morning run with weight vest on -In bed yet again by 20 10 -Quickly decide how to continue making progress on my " move" goal, out of the many options, even though the schedule didn't have a clear writing in this regards 1 Thing I could do better -Try not to get into too much detail unless asked during calls

I was about to post something similar, so you've won our race to call out such problems, at least! 🥲 For real though, aside from the predictability of my ideal experience (gaming or otherwise), I miss depending on things similar to positive friend and family relations, and sleep quality. I want to question anyone who might say that becoming an adult is about accepting things never being OK again.  Your HALTED acronym has come to mind more and more - except for 'dehydrated', usually. I could rudely/offensively (yet honestly) demand of my environment such that everything could be made OK for me temporarily, but then it would simply and immediately be someone else's turn to do the same. I could be down for that, but most people seem a lot more 'stuck' than I am. I have very basic fears, but am able to push them to the side. It doesn't mean that I don't see the opportunity to call out those who create problems for me/us, it's just that I don't often see the best way to do that without being accused of harassment or something. I guess the main thinking suggestion I have at the moment concerns how each of us wants life to feel - because today, we can think however we like, but it's the right gut feeling that we have to choose, in the end, isn't it? Should life feel like a dream with no real negative consequences, a constant battle to stave off unproductive thoughts or actions, or perhaps nothing but raw and uncensored self-expression? There are probably many more 'modes' of living - I think that those 3 might cover those in my immediately family, but if one could pat one's self on the back at the end of each day in a brief moment of alone time surely enough, wouldn't that be OK come whatever may? Re: David Bowie's 'Under Pressure'!

I'm so overwhelmed in life. I'm extremely tired and extremely depressed.  I'm praying my son sleeps when we sleep and in his own crib soon. My wife and I are so tired and the sleep shifts are brutal. It's so exhausting only getting 5 hours of sleep each night for months.  Work has been tough. I missed my career a lot but there's been so much drama in the company. I think some people are being so difficult and it's gonna lead to them being fired. A lot of people use me as their therapist at work and it mashed me lose so much productivity. It's frustrating.  My mother has been so difficult to deal with. It constantly weighs on me that I need to talk to her about a lot of issues. I just don't have time to do it. But she's been so stressful and irritational and unpredictable. My wife and I can't handle more distractions.  All of this makes me tired. I'm sprinting from one problem to the next. I have no time to relax or recharge. I can't even sleep. I wake up so exhausted and depressed. I have no time to call family and friends. I miss my wife so much. We spend so much time apart from each other because of the sleep shifts and then working again.  I just miss hugging my wife. I miss the way she keeps me warm and loved and safe. I miss the feeling of everything being OK.  After her near death experience and our sons, it's must so hard to relax and be happy.  We love our son more than anything in the world. We're not complaining. Just the depression, exhaustion, drama, and ptsd from everything is crushing us. I feel like a failure. 

Entry 3.6 ( Written on 4.6) Day 613: No Useless Videos Day 610: Sticking to Food schedule Day 2143: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 205: Being in bed before 23:15 Day 0: 7 pomodoros - only 4, Don't know what to say on the subject.... 3 Things I did well no matter how small -Visiting police again -In bed by 20 10 second day in a row, because I woke up on 4 10 -Kept writing and calling potential apartments 1 Thing I could do better -Again when putting groceries during the night into the fridge be see chill, lost a whole HOUR there.