It's a fine challenge, but there are some factors that don't depend upon you regarding getting accepted there... Namely:
The mood of the employer, the available vacancies. You can of course be such a perfect candidate that they will just have to create an additional job spot for you. For example if you're a super followed personal trainer on social media and you'll bring them more clients.
But you need to be something extraordinary. I doubt that you are in that position as of now with 20 years of age (or so, as far as I remember).
Even in the case you are such a superstar, still the employer might just not get around to it, because of his own momentum and simply "wrong" value priority.
I'd say definitely give it a try, 2, 3 or 10 if you wish. But keep looking for other places too. Time doesn't stop. And if they take a year to accept you (just exaggerating here) it will be a year without work for you. Also, you mentioned your fear of handing in your resume. That is because you only see one option in your mind.
If you had 5 more places telling you they wanted you to work for them and now you would like to hand in a resume to this one too, you wouldn't give it a fracture of a thought. You'd just give it to them with the realization that you don't care if they say no(I mean you do want them to say yes, but if they say no it's absolutely fine
Also, even if you just sent 50 resumes, that would also reduce your fear, because you'd see how many options there are, and not be afraid that this is the one and only, and if they say no... You'll be devastated...
Regarding the 1/4 1/2 odds, I think it's more like a 1/1.0000001 odds (99%~) in favor of looking for multiple places.
Because there are just so many, and if you're ready to move and keep sending resumes without a stop you will eventually find a place. So I believe.
On another matter (your relapse)
Maybe indeed your willpower was on a low level because of all the challenges. However, you have arrived at a 22 day streak! An awesome accomplishment! It takes a lot of effort to accomplish something like that.
I'd say nothing happened, maybe your streak is broken, but the total of days played hadn't changed
In the last 23 days, you played 1. and if you will get to a new 22 day streak it will have been 44 days out of 45. which is what matters.
You might not be at a point where you want to consider it yet. But remember that the longer you play now, the harder it will be to stop again.
I'd say get back on the horse as soon as you may. Today is best. Tomorrow is second best.
Remove the games and tell your father what happened or in a reversed order. Also maybe apologize for lying and not telling him yesterday.
I think your wish to not disappoint him might be a good push for you.
It helped me back at the day.
Just some thoughts on paper, feel free to disagree.
Also if something doesn't make sense, let me know, since I didn't do too much reviewing of the text. Just kept writing.
P.S.
Thank you very much for sharing and letting us in on your battle overall, and this current low point in particular.
It is a great opportunity for us to give you a hand in your battle(reflecting together with you), but, besides that, it's a great opportunity for you to reflect and get clearer on what is going on and why it is going on, and what do you even want in the first place :)
By
Yan ·