Hello,
I'm introducing myself on this forum for a very simple reason. I want to quit the "hobby" that has consumed almost 90% of my life - gaming. I'm 26 years old, and I have been playing since I was 3. I began with a gameboy color, pikachu edition, and the game I had was pokémon Yellow.
During those first years, gaming was just a hobby among others, and actually helped me learn English and how to read. English is not my first language, but funnily enough I began reading in English, not in my mother tongue, because the game was in English, and my childhood brain decided that learning English was a small price to pay in order to play the game. Perhaps, right from the beginning, there were signs I was going to be an addict (Additionally, my father and paternal grandfather were gambling addicts, so the genetics were definitely there). Other hobbies I had at the time included playing in the park, and reading books (learning to read early due to gaming made me a precocious reader).
As you probably guessed by now, my relationship with gaming did not remain controlled like it was in my early childhood. My father, a recovering addict, was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, and unfortunately that vulnerability made him return to gambling, and the person I loved the most in the world, a man that did not just help my biological parents raise me (my parents were over the age of 40 when they had me, and a couple that was their friend, who had no children of their own, offered their assistance in raising me), and ended up being the most important person in my life. That person had a stroke when I was 9, and died suddenly. The loss of my best friend, in addition to my father's illness, and the beginning of adoleescence, spelled disaster. And disaster occurred.
It was not a sudden change, but slowly, gradually, gaming began consuming me. My school grades, the top of my class, began to suffer, my social interactions with friends and family began to suffer, and my mental health began to suffer, while my gaming hours increased. From 5th grade to the first years of university, the situation worsened until I almost took my own life. I realized that I had to stop.
At the time, the game I played the most was not Skyrim. Skyrim was 2nd place, with the undisputed king and ruler of my life being League of Legends. In 2020, I deleted my original League account, and although I had many setbacks since then, I haven't played league in over a year now, the longest I've been without it since I began playing in late 2013 (This marked an intensification of my mental health decline). However, in more recent times, I've been falling back to playing Skyrim, and another game called Kingdoms of Amalur. I began playing those games before League, and while League vastly overshadowed them from 2013 to 2020, they gradually took the crown from League.
A few months ago, I created a new steam account, and only played three games in it - Kingdoms, Skyrim and Morrowind - all open-world RPGs, that allow me to pretend to be someone else, in a different, magical world, where I am the undisputed hero, a God among lesser beings. That account is queued for deletion (although I did send an email to recover it, I did not cancel the deletion), but that did not stop me. I downloaded a copy of SKyrim, and played that copy for tens of hours already in the last weeks, and that needs to stop.
I'm currently working in Cybersecurity, specifically in the GRC field, and I want to improve my skills so I can find a better job. Concurrently, I am finishing my master's degree in Computer Science and Management. I entered college in 2017, meaning that I have been in tertiary education for 9 years next year, when I'm expected to finish my master's (I am already a year late, because I failed a class and I still need to deliver my Thesis). I am tired of using games as an escape, and I really want to be free from universities, and I want to build my knowledge in my field, allowing me to move abroad, and get a relatively high income.
I've been free from games for relatively high periods since 2020 - 3 months, 7 months and 9 months, my PR, but it is not enough. I want to be free permanently, and I want to fully enjoy my life while I still can. I have three main goals right now:
Finish my master's
Move abroad with a well paying job
Find a girlfriend (as a result of my gaming addiction and deteriorating mental health, I never dated)
And I want to replace gaming with:
Reading and Writing (I like to read books, and I eventually want to write a book)
Going on Walks and lift weights
Study Cybersecurity
Find and listen to new music (I would like to learn how to play an instrument, but it is not a priority right now)
I already have a journal in the stop gaming discord server, but I think I will transfer it to this forum.
This concludes my introduction. For those that read it until the end, thank you for your attention.
By
FormerSKyrimEnjoyer ·