Hey everyone,
It has been nearly a decade since I first posted here. I cannot say I quit gaming completely, but I have played much less over the years. During Covid I built two gaming PCs and got back into it for a while. Eventually the habit faded again.
Recently I found myself pulled back in. I was not even looking for a new game, but one caught me by surprise and drew me in completely. At first it seemed harmless. Then on two weekends I ended up spending almost the entire time playing. I ignored what I needed to do, but more than that, I hated how it made me feel inside. Empty, restless, and aware that it was not good for me. I also noticed how it changed how I interacted with those close to me. I became irritated more easily, less patient, less present. After each session, I was left with a mix of guilt, sadness, and emptiness.
Yesterday I deleted Steam and every game I had. Not out of guilt but clarity. I realized it is not just about lost time, it is about how gaming affects my mood, my focus, and my relationships. The most important reason is my teenage son. He is into gaming too, and I cannot guide him away from something I am still doing myself. Maybe I had to go through this again to truly understand what it does to a person.
I am not against playing a video game, but for me it has to stay social. That means only when someone is over and wants to play a quick game on the console, like FC 25. I know I will not play on my own; it is just something I do for others, and that happens rarely. It is not only about avoiding video games but also about showing that there are better ways to spend time together, like board games or conversations.
I am still not sure if I will open a journal yet. I am thinking about it. For now, I will be around, reading and learning. My next goal is to find a way to help my son play less, not through cold turkey, but gradually. That is the hard part, but I know I cannot help him if I am still playing a lot myself.
TL;DR: Back after almost ten years. Played much less over time but recently got a clear reminder of what gaming can still do to me. My son plays too much, and I want to help him reduce, so I need to set the example first.
By
Corvus ·