Food Schedule Update 6.6-19.6 (Not including 19.6) By the way it's a miscalculation that it's 'till 6.6 but I'll go with it. Everything remains the same apart from 1. 2 oranges instead of one on Fridays, because they were smaller at the store 2. coconut oil - added 15g to non running days - total 45 (that is because I dropped amost 1 kg since my last bi weekly measurement and i was underweight already then. Plus I'm adding a bit more duration to my runs 30 at non-running days(Instead of 60g olive oil), 60 on running days (replacing 45 coconut oil and 60g olive oil), meaning Sundays usually 4. The moving of meals for Monday with the run and a half I am to keep as it is for now, I do not want to reduce the calories when I do two workouts before eating a new meal, I'd want to have the meal the closest to the fast day when i have two workouts without eating afterwards 5. Almonds 10 more grams everyday because I'm increasing the running amount 6. Pears may be replaced one for one with apples because they were left since two weeks ago where I accidentally didn't included them and decided not to eat them because of it 7. Raisins may be replaced one for one with cranberries. since they're about to run out 8. Quinoa 40 grams replaces lentils and on the next week 70g lentils replaces 40g quinoa 9. If there is something I simply didn't write but was planning, I allow myself 'till friday for clarifications

Entry 4.6 (Written on 5.6) Day 140: No Useless Videos Day 972: Sticking to Food schedule Day 575: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 123: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  -4 Concentrated work units - 30 minutes devoted to financial report - Having given an indication that I may attentd at 18 the driving lesson after all (Thought of a solution to go there before, have the call that i had scheduled before that there and then go to the lesson exactly after 1 Thing I could do better - Place an alarm clock for leaving to workout deadline, I guess I had more luck than brains for waking up just on time  Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 141

There were going to be over 8000 (probably 'over 9000', but perish that thought) cursor clicks, whilst waiting with bated breath, to meet a largely arbitrary goal, on a problem game, for me. Adding to that, I took a risk for a 'mission' which was simply not going to work, which actually felt like devastating misfortune - even the new mate I talked myself into it with, agreed. I had been 'playing' for most of the day. Two missions later, I had raced around (the screen) to find only what was half-effective, with very limited in-game 'means'. Finally, even as I dropped the missions and that line of activity 'for another day', I desperately made to set up the 8000-click 'grind', which would have meant about 20-30 minutes yesterday night (not to mention the following weeks of spare (and intrusive upon learning/relationships) time - supposedly 'fun'), and I couldn't do it. The other, non-game parts of the day were actually very fulfilling, despite being in a deeply addicted state for up to a week. But instead of riding those offline positive waves until bed, I made a quick meal and signed in. I was satisfied, or sated, for ten minutes until I was finished eating. Then, it was just a trap. It's been a trap for me since the game's re-release when I was trying to study after coming of age. That isn't how things are, or were, meant to be. It would definitely not have taken a genius to work that out in my position, yesterday.  I have two observations to make: Firstly, opening this forum and reading is often very comforting. But I think it does unfortunately result in more conscious consideration for games as a whole than we'd perhaps like. I know that it's been that way for me. Secondly, the internet/being behind a keyboard can do funny things to our natural confidence. I would personally love to say that games can't get any more out of my consciousness forthwith, but I know that the journey of giving them up will for quite some time continue; dreaming, boredom, celebration, loneliness and what-have-you. I guess this is yet one more call of many past to do one's best to appreciate and show devotion to life. One dinner conversation I had this year led me to actually say, "It's between the pleasure of playing at something which doesn't matter, and the effort/struggle of showing up virtually because, 'Uh oh, my (virtual) team 'needs' me.' Only my game was mostly between me and myself. I am needed by me to begin with, and offline all the better.  Thanks guys, and again good luck ~ Matt  

Wednesday 4th Day 16: No Gaming Day 0: Meditate 10 minutes 3 Things I Did Well, No Matter How Small Did 7 concentrated work units Ate healthy all day Made some artwork 🙂 1 Thing I Could Do Better Don't give up after 7 concentrated work units. I can do more. I think, at least. Or I could be kinder to myself and give myself permission to relax after a day's work. Yin: 0 days (darkness, pessimism, addiction) Yan: 1 day (Optimism, hope, happiness)  

None of us are perfect. Sometimes, good enough is good enough. I've missed many days of journaling. I want you to know that you are not alone. Celebrate yourself for having stopped for 6 days after what may have been almost a lifetime of addiction! And keep going strong. Don't give up. You're almost there. You just can't see it yet. But you got this. I say I quit gaming for 16 days but I still play games disguised as "visual novels." Again, you are not alone. Anyway, keep going through the modules. It'll be tough but it's worth it. It only gets better from here on out.