Hi everyone, I'm Dean or as my Playstation username refers to me as - (AUSTRALIANDJ) XD Basically, I still love gaming but I am finding it harmful and a hinderance to my life. I've video gamed since I was 4 or 5, and I'm 36 now. I grew up playing the Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64, where I'd thoroughly enjoy completing all sorts of games to "beat them" or unlock the 100%, secret ending, extra characters you name it. I was an only child so my parents invested in gaming consoles, to make sure I wasn't too bored. What I basically found happening, was even though I was a great student at school, and played sport on the weekends, that the gaming was the activity that excited me the most. I'd constantly be in our rumpus room, gaming away and my parents would a have a rule which was if I had an hour on I'd have to have an hour off before I could play more. That hour off was pretty much me time watching until I could play once again.  Fast forward to high school/adolescent years, and I was still living at home as a 19/20 year old, gaming away. I'd got an xbox 360 for free with a phone deal and had enjoyed completing achievements on my xbox profile for years. Having a record of all the games you complete and being able to compare yourself to others really livened me up. I had a bit of a purpose. I was single and while I'd still completed my schooling well and gone to uni to do training to become a teacher, gaming still lit my fire.  My dad bought me a Playstation 4, after I'd bought an xbox one one year and I was really bemused as to why he thought I needed both generation of consoles. My completionist behaviour was pretty bad as it was, and the Playstation system with their platinum trophies just enticed me like nothing before. Having clear cut rules and guides to follow to achieve specific tasks and having the record track it - gave me an identity. I also met numerous gamers on my journey which some are my best friends today. Some still game and some don't. I've completed probably a good 300 or so games to earn platinum trophies and the 8-10 years most recently, I've slaved away to make my profile a 100% profile. I've sat there for days to ensure I have difficult games on my profile, as well as multiple games from different genres and i've enjoyed most of those experiences. What I find troubling is when I'm sitting there all day on the Playstation and my gamer friends still have time to go to the gym and go to sleep when I can bring myself to stop. Healthy routines aren't even a thing when I game and I feel guilty thinking that this is not how I should be living my life at all. One game Gems Of War, I've probably put about 3000 plus hours into just because its a grindy piece of crap that forces me to play daily to attain the goals I wanted to attain. Perfectionist much?  The past 6 months or so, I was recovering from a relationship breakup, these happened somewhat frequently and whilst my girlfriends at the time, would encourage me to do what I enjoyed, I wouldn't be prioritising them and ending up losing them from my life as other activities were boring and I'd prefer to stay home. I still work Monday to Friday as a teacher and somewhat have my life together financially, but I'm not happy. My last relationship if i wasn't gaming I guess maybe I wouldn't have been ditched. She didn't want to change me and it was only a short relationship, but it made me look at myself and be really upset with where I was at. I'd spend my 2 weeks off on school holidays gaming essentially. I just feel like I'm worth more than this, but it still lights my fire. I signed up for a men's development program in October that really helped me adjust some of my ways, and one of my fellow brothers told me to get rid of the games in January. I packed them up in the cupboard and touched them twice in approximately a 3 month period - so I've kind of already done a detox so to speak.  On that however, I havent been able to fill that void yet, and today I got the console back out of the cupboard with some really stressful events in my life and I craved some mindfulness farming on Stardew Valley. Noticing these cravings and tuning into them is great, but I'm trying to see what I can learn from game quitters and hopefully be able to mitigate these feelings or stresses I want to avoid while also finding a more meaningful purpose in my life. I appreciate anyone who reads this and I'd love to hear from those with similar experiences. Thanks Dean

Entry 28.3  Day 72: No Useless Videos Day 904: Sticking to Food schedule Day 507: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 55: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small  -pomodoro output goals completed 8th day -afternoon workout -Calling 1 real estate agency and real estate course place to find out information 1 Thing I could do better -Planned the day from the day before Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 72

Day 80: 10 more days! excited to complete the detox. putting together a plan of how I want to approach all of this after the detox is done

Entry 27.3  Day 71: No Useless Videos Day 903: Sticking to Food schedule Day 506: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 54: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small  -Completing pomodoro output goals 7th day in a row. am i onf fire or what -afternoon jog -Calling job agency in Germany once more and having them hang up on me twice 😉 The calling is what counts though 🙂  1 Thing I could do better   -After the video meeting of 21, start the evening routine earlier Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 71

Such a great point here, Yan. I love the use of "push and pull". Pushing is hard, getting pulled feels a lot better. I remember days where I didn't think about gaming because I was so engrossed in a personal project. It's hard to come by those moments now, mainly because with young kids I'm exhausted by the end of the day and just want to relax, but it's still possible. I do need to set some new long term goals. I'm at the point I want to be in my life (great job, family, kids, etc.) but there's still more I can do to continuously improve. Especially with exercise! Day 79 looking good!