Gaming has transformed your brain into thinking that other activities and social interactions are less worthy of your time. Gaming provides instant gratification and you are in complete control of the experience. They also make you feel very comfortable as you can just rest most of your body while engaging with them. The human mind puts us through all sorts of trickery throughout our lifetime since it acts out of survival and cannot really distinguish what is good for us in a modern soecity. That's why we have to actively tell it what is worthwhile and gradually shape it into something that will seek out truly benefitial activitites. Think of the impact of sugary items for example and how the brain always thinks that sugar is the best and most immediate energy resource whenever our cells are starving for glucose. But as an adult we know that sugar is bad for us and that it is best consumed in moderation. This is why we eat full plate meals with vegetables and what not, even though it will never really get us the same immediate satisfcation as a candy bar. It's a constant struggle but we always know what way the wind is supposed to be blowing. Gaming of course works the same way. Gaming is the sugar and the mind is starving for it whenever we feel exhausted, lonely, emotional or bored. But stay away from it and your brain will start to seek out others sources of energy. And what you will realize over time is that life provides a HUGE number of healthy activities that your brain will grow to love and constantly seek out; you just have to get going.   Some specific thing that helped me steer clear of gaming: 1. Getting rid of anything at home that was associated with gaming. 2. Starting a new hobby (for me it was skiing). 3. Finding new friends that share your new healthy hobbies. 4. Write down your thought processes, good or bad, and post them here. 5. Inform your surroundings of your decision to quit and ask for constant support. 6. Start reaping the benefits as over time you will become more and more distanced from gaming.   I also think that love helps a lot since it works both as a hobby, a friendship and support that is always close by. But love can be a slippery slope and it might not be great to get involved with someone when you've just quit something so addicting. It will lead to sudden mood changes, lack of focus and potential relapses. For a relationship to grow it needs two healthy minds and your partner deserves someone who at least has grown the confidence of experiencing life without video games and who has a hopeful view of the future.

Yeah, it all happens so rapidly that you don't ever get the time to think about your behaviour. I bought/sold like 4 TV's in total just before my first attempt to quit and I never even reflected on it. It wasn't until I thought about how it looked from the outside that I started to think it was something abnormal.   Yep, trying to remember my original struggle and the decisions I made at the time is key I think. But the human mind fragile and sometimes surpisingly forgetful. It's like that initial strength and determination you had gets weakened and you open yourself up to thoughts like "it wouldn't be so bad to get back into it, with some boundries this time.... right?". But yeat, the warning signs are always there and thinking that way is one of them I believe. I'm looking forward to getting past one year and see how my mind operates then. Hopefully this will get easier the more I engage with other things and get some distance from it all together.

Entry 26.6 ( Written on 27.6) Day 635: No Useless Videos Day 634: Sticking to Food schedule Day 236: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 227: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -24-ish hour fast -1 hour workout -4 pomodoros... an almost finishing script, it seems concentration rises when you don't eat 😉 1 thing I could do better -Look for the final destination of the visa, not just NIE and ask if I send it to them privately directly with some money attached fr quick delivery will they check it quickly for me? =/

Yeah, the thing is that becoming a problematic porn user is way harder than becoming a problematic gamer. It's very common to see someone play for hours. Games are made to hook you on for hours. But it's rare to see someone watch porn for hours. Videos are made to make you excited quickly and jizz fast. There is a strong component of time, and energy spent in addictive behaviors.  That's why I don't think it's that big of a problem than a lot of online communities make it to be.  Because most people who try NoFap by example, just masturbate for 20 minutes a day at most. That's far from a problematic/addictive behaviour.  It's normal and natural to masturbate, animals also do it. It actually decreases the risk of prostate cancer in humans... so you better wank it off from time to time! I understand the problem of watching porn though, and that porn might decrease the quality of your sexual relationships by setting unrealistic expectations of pleasure achieved/hardcore fantasies. But really, there are actions you can do besides stopping to watch porn to address this issue. Because this problem is more psychological than anything.  If you are scared when you watch a scary movie, yes, you can stop watching scary movies altogether. But you can also rationalize and cut yourself from what you are watching to not be scared of them. Why not do the same with porn? Thinking "this is not real, this is just a fantasy". And be conscious that you don't have to act on fantasies. You can just let them in the "entertainment cubicle" that is porn. Wouldn't that be a more efficient use of time and mental resources? As well as letting you get some pleasure from time to time? 

June 26 - Day #5 I saw my psychologist today, and it went pretty naturally. They finally want to record a timeline of life feelings as opposed to just events for reference, so the second half of the hour was focused narration. I know it's not like the world now desperately needs more of my 'story' out there, but in the clinic there apparently is some now. Great 🤪 But I staggered back outside feeling secure, which is unusual. Last night I had a demotivated feeling that I just couldn't work out, and I signed in for an hour of 'ghost-busting'. The only negative that came of it was briefly the old kind of rumination. I still don't think going to bed early depressed was the better option. The feelings passed within minutes, and while I didn't study the last two chapters of the road user's handbook, I've since almost finished all ~1400 pages of IT, over 1.5 weeks. 'Kids... The magic exists.' Today called for another weighted walk around the park for some green and sunshine. There were two ladies with 2-3 nice dogs each, and two male youths kicking the footy for a bit - a balance in the shared space, plus other less-conspicuous people on foot. Later for my part, I subscribed to a new daily job site alert email in my last predicted waking hour. It had to be something done on my own - chores too, I guess. ______________ Gratitude: ~ none of the many small 'bad omens' came to full menace-level bad ~ remembering to buy food in the quiet hours ~ everyone doing work on the true job grind, like the psychologist's ~ a painless 1-page written journal entry this morning to take to the session No ghost-busting tonight necessary, with nothing to avoid except what I would call undue force. Good luck all, Matt