Great, Pema. Thank you. I'm happier today than I was when I made my first post. I had a nice resetting and healing weekend with friends and family in nature. It's good to get out in the woods and just enjoy life. Nature, my friends and family, I love these parts of living, and they help me become calm. I confess to having sugar, a low amount, twice and maybe thrice. First, a friend I love recommended I try a salad they concocted which had dressing that almost certainly had sugar in it, and I decided to choose joining my friend's joy with their invitation to try the salad. I was mindful and forgave myself so I could enjoy it. Next, it was someone's birthday, but before I knew that, the phrase "piece of cake" came to mind as I calmed down over the weekend, and I decided to partake in the special occasion and honor the phrase that came to me by having a literal, small, blueberry-sized piece of cake. It was fun. I also had a muffin whose ingredients I didn't know but it was healthy. I know that giving in to any fear about these things is not the way. I'm okay. And it's been a blast to do this detox. So, I'm continuing my commitment to be without games, porn, sugar, any and all addictions -- my whole dopamine detox. I'm learning so much about myself and about what's possible. I'm thankful. And it's fun. Andrew PS: Yes, I agree with you, it is important to quit masturbating as well as porn. In my experience, when I explored loving masturbation, I found it still depleted me in some regard, and even when the depletion was insignificant or more difficult to discern because I was doing well in life at the time of my masturbation, I found it wasn't a habit I wanted to cultivate. The most significant loss I encountered was the loss of an energy for attraction; of being self-fulfilled in a way that actually stymied my healthy desire for a partner in life. These days I continue to love exploring the path of celibacy until marriage, voluntarily, because it makes everything much clearer for me -- it takes the pressure off that need for sexual stimulation, and it helps me place my trust in the fact that everything will work out naturally as I honor my body's natural rhythms with others. That involves no harm, and a respect for my and others' whole qualities. After much porn and masturbation in my life, much time thinking about and consuming sexual material, it helps very much, in my brain and my body, to recover what it's like just to see someone's whole self not tilted in the direction of sexual compulsion. Good luck to you Pema. I appreciate joining you in this.

Hey Pema -- Sometimes when I'm with a not so comfy person, and the action to take is not obvious, and it's just uncomfortable, I remind myself of two things. One, don't wait for my suffering to end to be happy. And two, anything that takes the smile off my face is not the truth. Continue wishing them well and notice their discomfort as their own, not letting it interrupt the joy of your living. The joy of your living is ultimately the inspirational force that makes people like the not so comfy people adjust -- and if they do not adjust on their own, it is the clearest force that brings you clarity of mind and action as for when to act. Because you are acting out of compassion, now, out of the sincerest wish for all beings -- including you and them, to be well. To be in harmony, in peace. Thanks for being a part of this too. Andrew

Hey Andrew I like your reply. I agree that sending love or reframing people compassionately helps you be in relation to them. Especially with people you aren’t as comfortable with. Ultimately I’ll send everyone love and really try to love them from afar when they chafe me mentally too. I just imagine sending love beams to them. But don’t get involved much more than that.   How do you manage it when it’s a not so comfy person(s) in your immediate environment?    Thanks for being a part of this Pema

Hey Matt, This is really good. Thanks for sharing. I’ve ran into some people who matched the description you gave of the guy at the gym. I’ve felt the same discomfort especially when I went to the free rec center gym. I had people with severe mental health disorders yell threats at me etc.  I found a gym that’s like much more calm feeling and has been safe for me. Especially if I go early in the day when it’s less crowded. If you need a few days to you know deep breathe and let your mind relax before going back to the gym I think that’s good. Is your gym usually chill and this person was the exception? Or is it like that free gym I went to where almost every time I went someone was showing up and vaping in the gym, accosting people verbally or blasting profanity on max volume on their speakers?  Last point: you aren’t the only one that dude was acting like that to. The guy yelling at me was reported to have been yelling at members multiple times a day and was eventually banned.

Hey Andrew good new post I quit porn too and masturbating