Please note if I’m saying positive things about myself here I’m not trying to be arrogant. I’m just trying to build up my confidence. If it makes for a more appeasing writing style I can instead just say “People have told me I’m a good writer or whatever.”    But I’m into positive affirmations I really do my best to not be annoying about them. Or to go on about how great I think I am. My goal is to feel and think well of myself. While being humble, not bragging. Complimenting and building others self esteem up. To be confident but not boastful of that confidence. So, I mean. It’s a journal, it’s pretty anonymous. It’s halfway between private and public. So, I figure some positive affirmation mixed it will be healthy for me.   When you see me write a positive thing about myself. Think a positive thing about yourself too. You deserve it, you’ve earned that kindness just by staying alive this long.    I am brave I am working with my anxiety and psychosomatic symptoms   I can do anything I put my mind to

Idk why but I want to post more here. I feel it’ll help me gain insight into the problem and the solution.   The problem:  I don’t much know if I have any better alternatives to gaming for de stress and entertainment . The problem is when I game or watch tv alone. I get this feeling like I’m dissolving into nothingness in a not so cute way. I feel I am vegetating and just some otaku person. It feels gross and lonely. I dun like it 😞    Breathe ~ Games haven’t been out of control for me for a while thankfully and honestly that’s thanks to this site.  Barriers to entry and replacement behaviors do help.    The Solution: I want to visualize the good life and how gaming is involved in it. Ommmmmmm Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Singing and playing guitar or….. Playing the handpan learning to keep a beat and improv off my tutorials.  Crushing Japanese in duo lingo. When I’m getting the itch during alone time at home playing games! They’re a wonderful cure for loneliness I find when I really need em and I have no energy to go out to be around others.   Going to hangout at coffee shops and read while I’m there.   My current hangup is reading fiction novels….scary stuff for some reason for me. But I’m a wonderful writer and do believe it’ll be good for me to continue writing my novel.    At least people have told me I am a good writer anyways. s2   Om  Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm   Yeah jamming out handpan with Krillin would be dope he plays Cello. Ommmm yeah, like, idk what else. Oh yeah sleep by 1030 work nights and 1130 weekends.   I see myself not gaming when there is a social opportunity available or I have something else I wanna do like read write or play music. Getting comfortable with reading fantasy novels once more. There’s a good series on Dragons my partners reading. I’d like to check that out. Im doing my best to excel at jiu jitsu. I wish I could handle doing 4 classes a week. That’d be really great.    The schedule is building one week at the time to give my body enough space to ramp up. I’ve been steadily increasing my training every week up to the current point and I want to visualize what it’ll be like when it’s in its “Final Form” haha. Or just the next stage of super saiyan really   mon-Sunday    Rest Upper  BJJ Rest Lower BJJ + Upper Swim    Thats the current schedule set to go for next week. I do yoga and walk on rest days.   Its relatively light yoga but I do have to push myself to complete those 20 minutes sometimes.   Basically I would need to do BJJ on my upper lower days. So perhaps just hitting 3 classes a week is good enough for me. After I squat and deadlift I am absolutely a puddle that wants rest badly.   I could actually maintain two classes per week though   Swim Sundays my cardio it’s super helpful. It’s my staple cardio day. A little jogging on lower or upper day could happen tho just cause I like jogging. To do bench, Row, tricep ext, curl and leg raises. Then bjj….yeah that sounds really challenging. lol. That’d be my best possible limit at this point in my imagination.    Why do I want to do so much bjj and win a tournament?    All reasons aside it’s just what I want to do. I have a feeling, I see a dream. I want to pursue it. Make it real. There aren’t words that can be put to it to make sense. Honestly. It’s just a feeling that’s how it is. Sometimes you love someone or something. You can’t really say why and all the reasons only hint at the truth. It can’t be put into words perfectly, but suffice it to say. Two orbs of light see each other. They recognize that they are of the same cloth. They wish to be together. To become one such that will create wholeness.    Greater together than the sum of their parts. They burn like the sun and glow like the moon. Effervescent together, forever.                  Sorry to tint the beauty of that writing with a bunch of practical reasons here. But each side of the Vinyl is equally important.   It’s for love and passion. It’s for the warrior in me that’s desired to be the strongest over and over again. That’s loved and worshipped martial arts from the time he was a little boy watching ninja turtles.   🐢    It’s so I can feel alive to really feel like I’m living my life. Not just getting by but thriving. Taking in each breath fully, filling my lungs with confidence and vigor day after day. Going after it with the ferocity of a lion and the steadiness of a turtle.   Getting through my anxiety and depression. Working with my delusional disorder and paranoia. Feet in the ground and head in the clouds. Strong and gentle.   Like Goku. To be like my paragon. Even if it feels silly at times to chase after an anime character. To feel like being a super saiyan like Goku is my life. It’s been my fantasy my whole life as long as I can remember. So even if it sounds silly or foolish. I want to go for it anyways. Just to love myself. So, perhaps I’m trying to go super saiyan and win a tournament. Because it’s my way of loving myself. It’s for self love. Loving self isn’t vanity it’s sanity   Those who love themselves will do no harm    To love self is to love everyone. When you love yourself well. It becomes natural to love everyone one as well. 

Hey Dean, Kama suggestion sounds good to me. I did a 90 day detox too. It was…..enlightening lol I’d recommend spending time looking at hobbies lists on google and remembering any hobbies to try out. If you lack motivation like me well remember that this is the alternative to gaming.    im trying to get into music and remind myself this is probably gonna be a lot healthier for me than….hours of games daily. Yeahhhhh   I did maybe 2-3 years completely clean off games and just poured myself into my career, self care and dating.   im fit have a waifu and a very good job now. Im still kinda bored tho I feel you with getting out stardew valley and all that. So, I mean it’s not black and white. If you practice harm reduction down to a shade of grey then that’s still progress. The goal isn’t always clear. But trying new things gets you new data to work with!    What’s important to you in your life that is being impeded by gaming if anything?   What is it you want to do in your life that will be more doable with less or no gaming?    Why do u wanna restrict gaming?      Super appreciate if u answer at least one question S2

Hey Marina, I’d be interested to tell you my story I didn’t see your email but please do let me know how to get in touch 🙂    Ive been gaming for about 30 years on and off. I’ve been anywhere from years long abstinence to 40+ hours a week. And am journaling here to try to moderate it today. 

Cool I’m interested