Godspeed. There are gonna be some ups and downs here.Ii's okay. Just remember your why during the hard times 🙂 and I think you have some written here as an aid 🙂 

Entry 15.6 ( Written on 16.6) Day 624: No Useless Videos Day 623: Sticking to Food schedule Day 225: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 216: Being in bed before 23:15 Day 2: 6 pomodoros 3 Things I did well no matter how small -7 hours deliveries -a bit more than 1.5 hrs apt. search + avoided dozing off in order to make both pomodoros and apt. search -Done schedule planning with only being 10 minute late (last two weeks it was 1hr 15 min 🙂 1 Thing I could do better -Even though I did plan the transition from next Saturday to sunday with one more hour of sleep generally, consider finding a way to do even 1 hr more. Currently about 4 and something hours of sleep..

June 16 - Day #3 I've been typing these close to midday because: it's motivating, I'm well-enough awake, and since (my reality experience is very concentrated and draining?) I don't enjoy going out past 5 or 6pm, I start to calm myself down again and won't get the most out of trying to make an honest journal post. _________________ Gaming: I've been sleeping quite awhile, and last night was no exception. -> But I woke up feeling ready to 'mesh' with the world, until I realised home is living solo in a studio apt. I find having a heart-to-heart textathon on my phone infuriating and a waste of time, and as I've said: my USB keyboard is a dear old friend. My walks outside have been socially sad, maybe because there is so much 'lingering' (heh) interest in using phones publicly as well as privately. That, I think is going to be a behavioural reality for awhile. So funnily enough, I suppose my addiction told me that I was getting a more honest picture of people and what everyone desires by watching the movements of gaming avatars - speed, choice of gear, looting habits, etc. I then tried to reason around who was escaping what reality by gaming (or reading, in my case). I dunno - it's been easy focusing my mind on one gaming-replacement effort, which is 'temporary escape of reality', or at least, escape of what bothers me the most. Maybe I need a poster on the wall with my 5, or (4+1) needs. I'll probably get to that. Erotic material: I think that desire for this is actually results from over-thinking and reflecting, and is sort of an escape from my mind - or bringing myself back home to my body, like exercise does. Since I've not done either yet today, we'll see. I don't wear this like any kind of badge, but due to mental illness/disorder (not NPD), my daily experience should not be considered standard. I can get a little side-tracked - and whilst that can help dredge up memories for reflection, to get through a day on my own, a lot more energy is used is what I think too. I say that because if I always socialised very effectively, I would probably have a lot less use for erotic material.  _______________ Gratitude: ~ a sunny day, contrasting to the last 2 or 3 ~ re-reading 'IT' by Stephen King; it's 'magically' relatable, but not as much as the first 2 times. I am picking up on extra details though ~ my room is now vacuumed and table tidy, feels like 3/4 of the place complete ~ I didn't mention it last post, but yesterday's bodyweight dips and rows first-thing that morning were a true survival story to get through Godspeed. Matt  

Hey there, So yesterday no games, I did my 10-hour work shift and then studied Buddhism again. This was very enlightening as usual and I felt very peaceful. I didn't feel the need to play. I think I'm now more prepared than I ever was to quit games. I have a relatively cool job, a relationship to work on, hobbies, things to read, as well as friends. The hardest part is going to be next week when I'm studying. I'll have to be focused and transform "the grind" of repetitive practice into something enjoyable. I feel the need to read a book on Game Design. I want to apply Game Design principles to everything I do so it is funnier to do. A friend invited me to a party tonight, I'll try to be moderate in my alcohol consumption as I need to hit the gym tomorrow (and it's lower day ffs)

Entry 14.6 ( Written on 15.6) Day 623: No Useless Videos Day 622: Sticking to Food schedule Day 224: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 215: Being in bed before 23:15 Day 1: 6 pomodoros 3 Things I did well no matter how small -8 hours deliveries -1.5 hrs apt. search aprox -I guess it's a thing I did well - although I'm not sure - getting a monthly subscription for a software of creating pdfforms - Docfly, the plan is to only have t for a month and next time continue with a 7 day adobe free trial I took it once already, bt maybe I shall do it once more 1 Thing I could do better -Really must close an apartment already, Time is ticking, I still need to book a flight and get a permit for a visa from the embassy