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School is very tiring for me. I try to finish my homework as soon as possible so I have time to myself but it is hard. My high school is very academically challenging. I feel a lot of stress compared to when I was during summer break. People around me in school are more stressed than I am however and I do not like their lifestyle. It is as if the students are machines who have no sense of direction other than to study. I do not want to be like them because I do not want to waste my life doing things that make me unhappy. I know I am smart enough to find a way to be efficient while also doing well academically.
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By Amphibian220 · Posted
This thread is brought back for members to list the improvements after successful detoxes of at least three months. Please help by writing down successes in work, education, physical development, character, charitable initiatives. -
i think that some people quit "forever", and yet drugs are pretty inherent to living in the Western world- it's really, really hard to get by without them. most people who i see "quit" here or elsewhere turn to other drugs- often without recognizing them as such. earning lots of money, attaining other status quo goodies, simply staying busy- all are encouraged and rewarded by societal structures. and that's the reason it is very hard for me to quit games- i don't conform, and not having those drugs at hand moves me towards gaming. when i first quit, i immediately jumped onto the "success via career development + social status" drug. now, i'm off of that one- and games are making a return. over the last year, slowly, they really have been crawling under my skin. i don't want to go back. i believe that there is a 3rd option, where i neither conform, nor compensate with gaming for the isolation that results in me standing my ground, living life my own way. and i'm looking for it, now.
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Day 62 Another do nothing day, though I did shop for some putty and slime I could play with but kind of rejected them at the stores and will go tomorrow where I will get some. Part of this I need putty for my hand exercises. The other is kind of personal. But will get those tomorrow. Plus I’m still reading book of Job chapter 31 as well as my regular bible plan. Grateful: 1.God 2.Angels 3.Safety 4.Bible 5.Church 6.Family 7.Fog 8.Friends 9.Car 10.Eating healthy
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Thank you for reminding me. After reading your comments, I realized that one thing I always struggle with is self-loathing. Whenever I experience those feelings, I tend to go back to gaming, and the loop continues. It has certainly become a habit, and changing habits is very hard. However, I know I have no other choice. I've been struggling with this for more than 10 years, and I understand that changing habits formed over such a long time cannot happen in just a few days. #total hours played = 208 +44 + 72 + 22 + 66 = 400 hours #relapse 9 - mixed = 66 hours which means 6 days straight about 11 hours each day from #relapse 8 I have nothing to say to my journey anymore. All I need to do right now is fight and fight and fight and get over this shit as fast as possible
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