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Really struggling to keep myself from playing


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Hey everyone. 

A bit of backstory. I played world of warcraft pretty much 24/7 for 8 years of my life - but quit it in 2012. I basically haven’t touched the game since then. Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of cravings for it. They recently rereleased something related to the game, back when I played, and it definitely has a pull on me. 

The funny thing is, I don’t even have a PC to play the game. I’d have to play it from an internet cafe, which I could only visit on Saturdays and Sundays. 

I really don’t want this game in my life anymore. I burned 8 years of my life on this crap. I find myself slipping more and more each day - looking at websites related to the game, thinking about creating a character, thinking about what character I’d play, etc. 

I think a major problem for me at the moment is I don’t have a whole lot of hobbies. For the most part I play a lot of chess, and I’ve played a decent amount of chess over the past few years online. The main problem I have with chess is that - I’m now an intermediate level player, and the game is not at all easy anymore. When playing online, I have to spend a lot of time thinking, a lot of time calculating, and sometimes it feels like work. I guess there’s a desire to do something that is less mentally intense. This is one of the perks of chess, but also one of the draw backs. The perk is that, it’s a hard thing to do for long periods of time (at least, if you play seriously and care about improvement). Interestingly enough - even after playing the game for years, I’ve never had a chess session that lasted longer than 2 hours (compare that to wow, which regularly lasted for 12 hours a day). 

This lack of having a hobby to do on the side, has created a hole in me that I’m trying to fill and not sure how to fill it. Since 2012, I’ve really gotten into personal development and psychology, and I’m aware of my own inner-child. I recognize that my inner-child wants to play this game, he finds it fun. It’s just really poisonous for my adult self. I don’t want to lose my life to this crap again - and not really sure what to do. 

I guess I’m here because I need some support, because I really see myself slipping and diving into this crap again. I was planning on going to a gaming cafe tomorrow and playing for 4-5 hours. It always starts that way…”it’s just 4-5 hours, you have nothing better to do, it won’t affect any aspect of your life, it’s just Saturday and it will be fun”. I hate this game so much. I hate how even after 8 years spent practically playing all day every day, it’s still pulling me in for more. Haven’t I burned enough of my life on this crap? Why is it that there is nothing else in life that interests me, beyond this god damn game. 

So yeah - found myself in this place. Looking for some support. I really don’t want to slip into this again. I really don’t want to spend more time investing my life into a character on a screen that is meaningless. 

Please help. 

 

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Hey man, well you made a GREAT step to come here (again?) to talk about it and stop the process of getting near to relapse.

I am basically in the same situation, 3-4 years out, now again this ‚hey why not‘. That all happend for me step by step, I relapsed on some other things and the more you fail the easier it gegs to fail even more and to think its ok. League is basically the last thing I stop myself to do but its the most important thing to stay away from. The reason for all of this is that I have some

problems in rl again. Maybe u too? Otherwise I would probably not have these cravings.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 6/22/2021 at 10:06 PM, Lobares said:

That all happend for me step by step, I relapsed on some other things and the more you fail the easier it gegs to fail even more and to think its ok.

Yeah its like you give up hope in urself. I know that maelstrom too well. It becomes too painful that you failed and then you have to close your eyes to the pain, which is done by relapsing even harder as it is usually the only available escape you have. Just a thought, maybe planning an alternate escape would be useful!

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