Hi everyone, 

 

Been sober two weeks now and I'm really struggling to hold on. I've lost my only coping mechanism and im struggling to fill the void with other activities or hobbies. 

 

Can anyone suggest some that work for them? 

 

P.s my wife is upset thinking all i find joy in is video games and wondering why her crying face confronting me isn't reason enough to stop playing. I tried to reassure her that im just struggling but i know it didn't take. I have been very moody and verbal with my upset at quitting. 

As I've suggested elsewhere, if games are your "coping mechanism", your most important task may be to figure out what it is you're coping with - or running away from - and turn to face it more directly. Is it something in your situation at home that's giving you difficulty? Is it some psychological distress or trauma from your past? Is it existential angst? Whatever it is, escaping into the fog really won't help, especially when commitment to others is on the line.

I must say your wife's response is especially unhelpful. Somehow, she needs to come to understand that you are quitting for her sake, but that it isn't easy to quit because the underlying neurological mechanism of gaming addiction is not under your direct control. You may choose not to play, but you may not choose - directly at least - not to want to play.

It would be much more helpful to you if she could see that difference, see that you are doing something very difficult for her sake.

I suggest finding a therapist to help diagnose why you're trying to use games as a coping mechanism. Are you escaping from something? I encourage you to take notes every time you're craving games and trying to figure out what is triggering them. It might put a puzzle together for you. 

 

Some things that relax me instead of gaming are puzzles, exercise, reading, music, drawing, painting, singing, rock climbing, and writing.