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13 year old need help


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I am 13 and I live in Australia. My mom read a book that shows how addictive gaming is and I was quite addicted at the time playing 3-5 hours each day but only on weekends. My mom decided do ban me permanently and it has been like 6 months but she will let me play Minecraft on my laptop. I don't really enjoy Minecraft and have no problems getting off when asked but I have asked to get my Xbox back with games I enjoy more like Call of Duty and Rainbow Six Siege. I found your website and showed it to my mom and asked if I can play on my Xbox moderately only on weekends but she won't let me. Can I have some help and do you think 3h a day on weekends is alright?

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Posted (edited)

I'm not sure anyone here can really give you the help you need, not least because it really won't do for complete strangers to second-guess your mother's judgment.

I'm writing this as the father of two young adults, who well remembers the challenges of trying to set ground rules for teenagers! I can only imagine how I would have reacted if one of my kids had said: "Yeah, but these people on this one forum said . . . "

I would not have been persuaded.

As for your question at the end, it really depends on a lot of things. There are some people - maybe many people - for whom any time playing games is too much, and others who might be able to play for an hour or two, now and again, and then stop. You might be one or the other but, again, it's really not the place of anyone here to make that call.

If your mother is not to be persuaded to let you try to play games in moderation, perhaps with boundaries she can enforce, then your best course is to accept it, and find other things to do in the world. There are many, many activities and projects that might engage your imagination and develop your skills, lots of other ways to have fun.

Edited by Zeno
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On 5/27/2021 at 10:48 PM, denzel said:

I am 13 and I live in Australia. My mom read a book that shows how addictive gaming is and I was quite addicted at the time playing 3-5 hours each day but only on weekends. My mom decided do ban me permanently and it has been like 6 months but she will let me play Minecraft on my laptop. I don't really enjoy Minecraft and have no problems getting off when asked but I have asked to get my Xbox back with games I enjoy more like Call of Duty and Rainbow Six Siege. I found your website and showed it to my mom and asked if I can play on my Xbox moderately only on weekends but she won't let me. Can I have some help and do you think 3h a day on weekends is alright?

Most of us are going to tell you to avoid gaming in general. Many of us are adults with families and sometimes look back at our years playing games in regret and shame. 

Those 3 hours a night won't suffice after a while and soon you'll be on for 5 to 8. Some of us played 16 or more per day. I was a professional gamer for years and couldn't stop playing. 

Since quitting I've done better at work, lost 30 lbs, got a serious girlfriend, and discovered hobbies that actually satisfy me. My mental health is in check and I've reduced my anxiety and depression. 

I didn't have those problems at 13 but they started at 15. Unfortunately, she's doing you a favor and has your health in mind. She's protecting you. 

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My advice (as hard as it sounds) is to trust your mom and her judgement here. 

I also had a mom who did not support me gaming. When I was your age, I didn't understand why. 

However, now after many years of loss in terms of lack of social life, strained relationships with my parents, and whole lot of apathy brought on by addiction, I now understand why she tried to stop me from playing. 

She has your future in mind and it is better to get rid of gaming sooner rather than later as the losses from that get more obvious, serious and more costly as you get older. 

Plus, you will find later on how you get left behind in a lot of areas while your peers who don't game end up speeding ahead of you. 

That's just my take on it based on personal experience.

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