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Detox until 11.06.2021


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Hey. I’m not new here, but I decided to create temporary account for detox. Why? I want to stay anonymous for some time. I’ll tell you who I am on my final day of detox. Why exactly this date? I’ll tell you after detox as well. I don’t want to reveal anything yet. So please don’t ask me anything about myself. Well, obviously I am addicted to gaming, I doubt someone would do detox on this forum otherwise. Main purpose of this journal is to keep record of my work, I think sharing it with someone will help me to try harder. My goals are actually insane and borderline real, but I want to test myself to know my limits. This is gonna be the hardest 2 months in my life. Failing is not an option for me. Day 1.

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Days 2 and 3 weren’t as productive as I wanted. I have to better plan my day. I’ll work on it.

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Day 4. I still haven’t reached desired working performance, but I’ve made some big steps in right direction.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Day 26. I had no time to journal, but I’m still on track.
 

I am so busy that I can’t play at all. Basically the only things I do currently is studying, going to the gym, small exercise routine at home on days off from the gym, cooking food and sleeping. I’m studying about 6 hours a day (pure studying without breaks counted) and I want to increase it to 10 or even 12 by the end of the week. I’m using pomodoro technique 50/10 and 60/10 (50/60 minutes studying and 10 min break). Last week I found out about Study With Me streams on YouTube. In few words, people are filming themselves while studying and steaming it. Usually they follow pomodoro technique and have a timer counting down till the end of the session and session count. They only speak during 10 min breaks, so I just leave the stream in the background and study. It’s much easier for me this way, because I don’t feel like I’m alone. Their passion for studying 12-14 hours a day really motivates me. It’s also quite challenging to keep the same pace as them. The second thing that helps me is Forest app. You just set a time that you want to study and planting a tree that’ll grow in that time. You have an option to “give up”, but then the tree will die. For a successful session you get in game currency that you can spend to buy different trees to plant. So you are growing a forest of trees. In your account you can check your stats in a day, week, month etc. Users can also create study rooms, they are planting a tree and if one fails and gives up, then tree withers for everyone. Study With Me streams often provide links to Forest study rooms. You can also see other people’s profiles and the time they spent studying. So far I enjoy using the app, it helps a lot to get rid of distractions and adds competitive aspect to studying.

3 weeks left before the end of my journey. 

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Day 33. Didn’t play, feeling well.

Alright, so I’m failing at writing constantly here, because I’m used to journaling in the evening, but now I’m studying till midnight and then going to sleep. I’ll try to write daily, but unsure if it’s actually gonna happen. I’m studying 8 hours a day or more, working out 7 days a week (3 times at the gym and 4 times at home) and sleeping 8 hours a day. I still have my games installed on my computer, I just don’t launch it lol. Turns out it is that simple. My detox is an experiment and since the beginning I knew that I’m gonna say in the end, but now I’m kinda unsure. My connection with gaming is getting weaker every day and perhaps I’m not such a failure that I used to think. 

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Day 40. Staying strong. 
 

So, tomorrow I’ll have an important exam. I’ve spent last 2 months preparing for it (and other two coming after). My life has improved drastically. I am studying for a few hours every day and working out at least 3 times a week. I’m not pathetic loser anymore. But I’m still confused about what I’m gonna do after my detox. But I’ll talk about it later. Can’t write much because I’m very tired, I’ll try to write as frequently as possible.  

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8 hours ago, No one said:

Day 40. Staying strong. 
 

So, tomorrow I’ll have an important exam. I’ve spent last 2 months preparing for it (and other two coming after). My life has improved drastically. I am studying for a few hours every day and working out at least 3 times a week. I’m not pathetic loser anymore. But I’m still confused about what I’m gonna do after my detox. But I’ll talk about it later. Can’t write much because I’m very tired, I’ll try to write as frequently as possible.  

Congrats on putting in so much time and effort to prepare for these exams. Best of luck!

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So I just finished my math exam. It was hard and I think I’ll have a bad score. I’m so tired of studying, but I have to prepare for my next exam, which is in 3 days. After years of video game addiction it’s so hard for me to concentrate on things and be productive. Not sure if I’m doing enough. I feel like a complete failure, everyone around is better than me. I’m beginning to hate myself again.. 

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, No one said:

So I just finished my math exam. It was hard and I think I’ll have a bad score. I’m so tired of studying, but I have to prepare for my next exam, which is in 3 days. After years of video game addiction it’s so hard for me to concentrate on things and be productive.

If you've never developed habits of concentration in the past, it may take some time to establish them now. Be a little patient with yourself, and focus on making incremental improvements, day after day. Find a method of productivity that works for you, using timers or to-do lists, or whatever works. Think about where you try to do work that requires concentration as much as when you try to do so; experiment with different settings, different restrictions, and see what works.

Anything worth doing is difficult; you just have to kind of roll with that.

 

Quote

Not sure if I’m doing enough. I feel like a complete failure, everyone around is better than me. I’m beginning to hate myself again.. 

This could just be ordinary "impostor syndrome": I'd be willing to bet at least half of the people around you - and maybe many more than half! - think exactly the same way. Everyone is faking it, a little, even outside a school context; or, at least, everyone thinks they're faking it, that they're an impostor surrounded by supremely confident and capable people who effortlessly live up to an impossible standard.

Well, they aren't. We're all just muddling along, doing the best we can with what we have.

Compare yourself to yourself. You may not have done well on this exam, and you may not have done everything theoretically possible to prepare for it, but you did something, which is more than you would have done had you still been lost in gamer-world. Give yourself some credit for that; the effort counts toward the establishment of better habits.

If you stick with it, acknowledge what is good in what you did to prepare for this exam, and build on that progress, you will do better with the next challenge you face, whether in school or outside of it, and the same with the next one, and the one after that.

Edited by Zeno
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@Zeno Thank you so much, I really appreciate your words. You’re absolutely right, I have to keep trying in order to succeed. I’ll try my best to prepare for the next exam. 

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I have an exam tomorrow and it’s also last day of my detox. Today I’m gonna study like crazy.

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Posted (edited)

Day 48. My detox is over. I finished all my exams. For further posts go to @WhoCares, because it’s me.

Edited by No one
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