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I've been addicted my whole life but now it needs to stop


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Dear readers of this forum,

I am 22 years old, I have recently graduated from university with a degree in chemistry. I've been playing PC games since I was about 5 years old. I had a lot of fun gaming in my teens, it was a social thing as I had other friends playing too. Now I am older, I don't play with anyone but myself and I am feeding an addiction that prevents me from being in the real world. I am living at home with my parents at the moment and I am trying to think about what to do with my life but instead I often end up gaming for the whole day and not doing anything in the real world besides cooking and some exercise. Gaming is ruining my self confidence and my ability to socialise with others. It's taken over my whole dopamine reward system to the point where talking to anyone is a chore and I can't be bothered to socialise with anyone and I just want to get back into the game. 

Last night I told myself in the shower before bed that I would not play World of Warcraft: Shadowlands tomorrow. That didn't last long at all: I was eating my breakfast of last night's curry at my gaming desk while logging into WoW. Next thing you know it, I've spent the whole day in this chair playing 2v2s and 3v3s where the only thing I did elsewhere is drink some grapefruit juice, let my dog outside into the garden and take a piss. I've got a girlfriend who is DTF (virutally at the moment as we are not living together at the moment) yet I can't be bothered to speak to her when she's messaging me as I'm lazy and forget about external life by just playing WoW. The only dopamine my mind wants is getting the most kills in battlegrounds. 

The past week I've been uninstalling the game, telling myself that I will never play again to end up just reinstalling the morning after and playing the game anyway. This is almost a daily occurence now. I'm as addicted as I've ever been and I am as vulnerable as I ever been. Instead of putting myself out into the real world I end up just spending all day playing WoW. My addicted head thought, "if you want to quit WoW maybe you should start playing LoL again." I really want to stop...

I am on this forum to quit. I'm looking for an accountability partner to talk to about my gaming addiction. I'm on this forum to find out what has worked for other's. I'm on this forum to be in a place where I can relate to other people. 

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Hey @Dagnet!

Welcome to the forum, it is interesting that you have stepped up into GameQuitters, that sounds like a part of yourself do not want to keep up with the dopamine loop you have created around videogames, and you should consider that action as a moment of lucidity inside the patterns of living you have created around addiction.

I would ask you to think about something real quick: what is your motivation in gaming? Our founder Cam has a video on that, and there are 4 answers to that question: escapism (just leaving the real world to live in the virtual one, so you can void any real problem you could be living, physically, mentally, or both), measured growth (you know, as human beings, we try to be better on what we do, and when we do it, we have also the feeling of a dopamine rush, that mixed with an hyper stimulant world like the world of videogames, it creates super intense feelings, that create deep emotions towards videogames), socialization (it is the place where you meet people that love the same thing you do, and therefore you can create friendships, even if they usually are fragile like in videogames), and challenge (having an activity that creates a challenge is something also so attached to human beings, being able to achieve something difficult gives us again this dopamine rush, even if it is something mostly lucky (like winning a game on LoL, where there are other 9 people apart from you)).

Cam has a lot of videos about it, and they are right there for free. Now, if you are decided to quit and you want the complete guide step by step without spending too much time gathering information in youtube videos, I would highly recommend you to buy 'Respawn' from Cam in his website gamequitters.com. It will provide you with all the information, step by step, everything you need to stop your addiction with the less pain possible (because you will find useless to stop doing what you REALLY want to do, your mind is gonna drag you down day after day until you come back to videogames).

Oh, also creating a journal in the forum is really helpful, you will find yourself committed into quitting, and people will also, so they will reach and try to give you advices and tips, or just to talk with you, which usually it is very appreciated.

Good luck dude.

Regards. Álvaro.

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Omg I can SO relate to this. This is like reading my own life-story. I have also been addicted to WoW since BC and with Shadowlands now more than ever. I also spend my entire life sleeping or gaming. And when I am forced to do something that doesn't involve gaming, my entire body is stressed and just waiting to get my daily dopamine kick. Nothing I do outside of gaming gives me that same feeling of happiness and satisfaction. I have tried quitting for several years, but everytime a new expansion arrives I can't stop myself from yet entering Wow to explore it, and find myself addicted again 😕
 

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I can definitely relate to this as well. I had been playing WoW since vanilla, one of the best things I ever did though was actually deleting my entire battle net account. It was tremendously hard and gave me so much anxiety, but it makes it so much harder to actually play again if you really wanted to. Buying the entire game again including expansions, levelling a character to max (or boosting) and just the amount of effort you have to put in to actually get everything to that level you had before would almost be impossible, that feeling actually turns me off the game.

@Tinni I too would be constantly wanting to get home so I could just play WoW, I was constantly angry when I had to do things other than gaming. I've turned to drawing and focusing on study since I have quit and its going well with very little cravings. I also don't feel angry anymore if I have to go do something, quality of life is so much better.

Hope you guys break that chain. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I completely relate to this.  WoW is such a horrible thing to be addicted to.  Waking up and feeling like you have to play and then playing just to not be happy playing.  Reading this post I understand that I am not alone.  You are not alone.  We are not alone.  You are a hero not a victim!  

 

Stay strong!

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